Sleeping in Separate Beds

[Anonymous]

My BF snores and won't see a doctor. I end up in the guest room or on the sofa and he gets upset that I didn't wake him up to move but when I do he gets sassy and argues that he wasn't even asleep. I wish he would just sleep at his own house but would be so upset if I suggest it. LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My BF snores and won't see a doctor. I end up in the guest room or on the sofa and he gets upset that I didn't wake him up to move but when I do he gets sassy and argues that he wasn't even asleep. I wish he would just sleep at his own house but would be so upset if I suggest it. LOL

Record him doing it and put your foot down. Dont allow him to ruin your sleep because of his tantrums

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband snores like a freight train, which made a sleep divorce inevitable. We're overextended and can't handle lots of interrupted sleep, so we agreed it was necessary. We both miss the cuddling and emotional intimacy piece, and have to be mindful to address that in other ways. Until there's a cure for snoring, not much else we can do. (DH can't handle sleeping with a CPAP).

Same. Could have written this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We sleep separately and I find it hard. I miss falling asleep in DH arms or waking up to some morning adult time.

This feels like it was written by a husband

I did not write the above. I"m a man.
I will only date women who could write something like that. After almost a decade together, my ex wife asked me to sleep in the guest room. Her request coincided with a big reduction in her sex drive. Yes, I snore, but most women I've met since divorce can deal with it. I use an anti-snoring mouth guard, which is good enough for most women but not my ex wife. Separate bedrooms may have destroyed my marriage. Yes, she needed to sleep, but she stopped prioritizing us as a couple and the change in sleeping arrangements was part of a big change in her priorities.

What is your weight/body fat percentage?

I don't know. I'm definitely somewhat overweight. Some women don't find me attractive but quite a few do. I basically look like a former football player. Losing weight reduces snoring a little. The mouth guard reduced it more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many of you sleep separate from your partner/spouse? My DH *HATES* to sleep separate and kicks up a huge stink about it, claiming he's unable to get rest in a separate bed. I prefer sleeping alone and don't see it as a big deal. He says it's abnormal and he loves to cuddle and wants to wake up next to each other. How have you handled this issue?

It’s common. Ask any realtor or nanny too.

Often one of them has:
Snoring
Different sleep and wake schedules
2 or 4 am pee breaks
Tosses & turns a lot
Stinky and sweaty
Rude and loud
Light sleeper

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We sleep separately and I find it hard. I miss falling asleep in DH arms or waking up to some morning adult time.

This feels like it was written by a husband

I did not write the above. I"m a man.
I will only date women who could write something like that. After almost a decade together, my ex wife asked me to sleep in the guest room. Her request coincided with a big reduction in her sex drive. Yes, I snore, but most women I've met since divorce can deal with it. I use an anti-snoring mouth guard, which is good enough for most women but not my ex wife. Separate bedrooms may have destroyed my marriage. Yes, she needed to sleep, but she stopped prioritizing us as a couple and the change in sleeping arrangements was part of a big change in her priorities.

What is your weight/body fat percentage?

I don't know. I'm definitely somewhat overweight. Some women don't find me attractive but quite a few do. I basically look like a former football player. Losing weight reduces snoring a little. The mouth guard reduced it more.

This sounds like a lot of man mumbo jumbo justification for "I'm extremely fat". A lot of these football players would be obese by any standard, and they need to be in order to be able to run into other 300 lb men on the football field. But it has about the same sexual appeal (to women) as a sumo wrestler. No one finds that attractive, and if it's literally causing you to snore and have issues breathing... it's bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We sleep separately and I find it hard. I miss falling asleep in DH arms or waking up to some morning adult time.

This feels like it was written by a husband

I did not write the above. I"m a man.
I will only date women who could write something like that. After almost a decade together, my ex wife asked me to sleep in the guest room. Her request coincided with a big reduction in her sex drive. Yes, I snore, but most women I've met since divorce can deal with it. I use an anti-snoring mouth guard, which is good enough for most women but not my ex wife. Separate bedrooms may have destroyed my marriage. Yes, she needed to sleep, but she stopped prioritizing us as a couple and the change in sleeping arrangements was part of a big change in her priorities.

What is your weight/body fat percentage?

I don't know. I'm definitely somewhat overweight. Some women don't find me attractive but quite a few do. I basically look like a former football player. Losing weight reduces snoring a little. The mouth guard reduced it more.

This sounds like a lot of man mumbo jumbo justification for "I'm extremely fat". A lot of these football players would be obese by any standard, and they need to be in order to be able to run into other 300 lb men on the football field. But it has about the same sexual appeal (to women) as a sumo wrestler. No one finds that attractive, and if it's literally causing you to snore and have issues breathing... it's bad.

Maybe that's how my ex felt about me.

Now she's with a guy who's thinner than I am but ten years older than I am and dumb. I don't know about his snoring. I'm with a woman who's ten years younger than she is and smart, and also better looking. She also sleeps through my snoring.

That's not the ending I wanted when I married my ex.

[Anonymous]

Both DS and I go through periods of sleeping on a sofa (we don’t have an extra bedroom). DS is a night owl and will fall asleep watching tv frequently. Even if DS and I are in bed together, I am a very light sleeper and wake up several times a night. If I can’t get back to sleep immediately, I transfer to a couch with a blanket and a meditation app to help me get back to sleep.

[Anonymous]

We sleep separately. My husband snores and I'm a light sleeper. He sleeps in the guest room (unless we need it) and we're both very happy with the arrangement. We also prefer different kinds of sheets and different weights of blankets and different room temperatures so it works out well. We both work from home so we have plenty of "alone" time together in the house and we both spend time in both rooms, so it's not like one is "his" and one is "mine" in that it feels weird to be in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It definitely impacts the relationship although I can understand necessity. Why do youbwa to sleep seperately?

Why does it definitely impact the relationship? My marriage is great, and far better than most of the marriages I see here on DCUM, and we sleep apart. So tell me how I'm "impacting" my relationship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We sleep separately and I find it hard. I miss falling asleep in DH arms or waking up to some morning adult time.

This feels like it was written by a husband

I did not write the above. I"m a man.
I will only date women who could write something like that. After almost a decade together, my ex wife asked me to sleep in the guest room. Her request coincided with a big reduction in her sex drive. Yes, I snore, but most women I've met since divorce can deal with it. I use an anti-snoring mouth guard, which is good enough for most women but not my ex wife. Separate bedrooms may have destroyed my marriage. Yes, she needed to sleep, but she stopped prioritizing us as a couple and the change in sleeping arrangements was part of a big change in her priorities.

What is your weight/body fat percentage?

I don't know. I'm definitely somewhat overweight. Some women don't find me attractive but quite a few do. I basically look like a former football player. Losing weight reduces snoring a little. The mouth guard reduced it more.

This sounds like a lot of man mumbo jumbo justification for "I'm extremely fat". A lot of these football players would be obese by any standard, and they need to be in order to be able to run into other 300 lb men on the football field. But it has about the same sexual appeal (to women) as a sumo wrestler. No one finds that attractive, and if it's literally causing you to snore and have issues breathing... it's bad.

Maybe that's how my ex felt about me.

Now she's with a guy who's thinner than I am but ten years older than I am and dumb. I don't know about his snoring. I'm with a woman who's ten years younger than she is and smart, and also better looking. She also sleeps through my snoring.

That's not the ending I wanted when I married my ex.

Well maybe you should haven’t been such a selfish d*ck when she told you her sleep was being impacted. Sleep is literally one of the most important things for mental and physical health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It impacts the relationship. No way around it.

If the relationship is loving, intimate, very physically affectionate, has plenty of good sex, and is all around really solid, it might be ok. If not -- it could be the beginning of the end. Or of significant atrophy, anyway.

You know what impacts a relationship? Not being able to get good sleep. Talk about building resentment against your spouse - I've never hated my husband more than when he snores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Truth is if you're in a loving or great marriage not sleeping together sucks. But, most marriages after a while aren't all roses and flowers. I know plenty of people who sleep separate or even sleep in the same bed but they do not cuddle at all not even close. My parents slept in two rooms because my dad would get home very late from work around 1-2am and would sleep in so my mom would sleep in the guest room. After years and years it became normal.

Huh? I'm in a loving and great marriage and we don't sleep in the same bed. Tell me how that sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We sleep separately and I find it hard. I miss falling asleep in DH arms or waking up to some morning adult time.

This feels like it was written by a husband

I did not write the above. I"m a man.
I will only date women who could write something like that. After almost a decade together, my ex wife asked me to sleep in the guest room. Her request coincided with a big reduction in her sex drive. Yes, I snore, but most women I've met since divorce can deal with it. I use an anti-snoring mouth guard, which is good enough for most women but not my ex wife. Separate bedrooms may have destroyed my marriage. Yes, she needed to sleep, but she stopped prioritizing us as a couple and the change in sleeping arrangements was part of a big change in her priorities.

I think you're confusing causation and correlation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We sleep separately and I find it hard. I miss falling asleep in DH arms or waking up to some morning adult time.

This feels like it was written by a husband

I did not write the above. I"m a man.
I will only date women who could write something like that. After almost a decade together, my ex wife asked me to sleep in the guest room. Her request coincided with a big reduction in her sex drive. Yes, I snore, but most women I've met since divorce can deal with it. I use an anti-snoring mouth guard, which is good enough for most women but not my ex wife. Separate bedrooms may have destroyed my marriage. Yes, she needed to sleep, but she stopped prioritizing us as a couple and the change in sleeping arrangements was part of a big change in her priorities.

What is your weight/body fat percentage?

I don't know. I'm definitely somewhat overweight. Some women don't find me attractive but quite a few do. I basically look like a former football player. Losing weight reduces snoring a little. The mouth guard reduced it more.

This sounds like a lot of man mumbo jumbo justification for "I'm extremely fat". A lot of these football players would be obese by any standard, and they need to be in order to be able to run into other 300 lb men on the football field. But it has about the same sexual appeal (to women) as a sumo wrestler. No one finds that attractive, and if it's literally causing you to snore and have issues breathing... it's bad.

Maybe that's how my ex felt about me.

Now she's with a guy who's thinner than I am but ten years older than I am and dumb. I don't know about his snoring. I'm with a woman who's ten years younger than she is and smart, and also better looking. She also sleeps through my snoring.

That's not the ending I wanted when I married my ex.

Probably. Being with a fat man who cant control himself foodwise and is deeply selfish to the point of throwing a tantrum when his partner wants to get a full night of rest is a definite turn off.