Sleeping in Separate Beds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm your husband. My love language is cuddles. Frankly it's the only thing that keeps me going. I would spiral into severe anxiety if I couldn't have physical contact and affection, particularly at night.

I would tread carefully here, OP. He might get his needs fulfilled elsewhere. I would strongly consider this if my husband wasn't willing and able to cuddle me all night long.

touché

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm your husband. My love language is cuddles. Frankly it's the only thing that keeps me going. I would spiral into severe anxiety if I couldn't have physical contact and affection, particularly at night.

I would tread carefully here, OP. He might get his needs fulfilled elsewhere. I would strongly consider this if my husband wasn't willing and able to cuddle me all night long.

touché

Don't encourage this behavior. PP needs help with her anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Start out falling asleep together, I move to my own bed in the middle of the night.

[Anonymous]

I’ll never sleep in the same bed as anyone ever again - maybe I’ll put this in my dating profile! A man who wants to whine about it is an immediate NO. I have a very hard time sleeping, and it’s literally torture to interrupt someone’s sleep repeatedly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll never sleep in the same bed as anyone ever again - maybe I’ll put this in my dating profile! A man who wants to whine about it is an immediate NO. I have a very hard time sleeping, and it’s literally torture to interrupt someone’s sleep repeatedly.

Me too! I can’t imagine getting a good night sleep now that I’ve had my own bedroom for over 5 years. Divorced. I sleep like a baby. Never slept well in the last years of marriage. Obviously because we weren’t getting along but I also think it’s harder to sleep soundly as we age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm your husband. My love language is cuddles. Frankly it's the only thing that keeps me going. I would spiral into severe anxiety if I couldn't have physical contact and affection, particularly at night.

I would tread carefully here, OP. He might get his needs fulfilled elsewhere. I would strongly consider this if my husband wasn't willing and able to cuddle me all night long.

You don’t really literally mean you need to be cuddled all night long, right? That’s nightmarish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm your husband. My love language is cuddles. Frankly it's the only thing that keeps me going. I would spiral into severe anxiety if I couldn't have physical contact and affection, particularly at night.

I would tread carefully here, OP. He might get his needs fulfilled elsewhere. I would strongly consider this if my husband wasn't willing and able to cuddle me all night long.

I wonder how many people sacrifice their own sleep years after years just to please their spouse who would otherwise make it a big issue that can threaten the marriage. When they say marriage requires sacrifice it's true. Some of the sacrifices imo are just deadly. Lack of proper sleep is bad news.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as the DW initiates the move it will be fine. But if any DH dates entertain this idea good luck!

Someone told me that at some point in time couples used to sleep in separate bed not sure if that's true. We need to normalize that again. Nothing is better than sleeping in your own bed and it has nothing to do with the love you have for your spouse.

I had an aunt and uncle that never shared a bed. They had 2 twin beds in their room. Granted they were older(would be in their early 100s now if alive) and that was typically for their generation.

Do you know they NEVER shared a bed? My grand parents had single beds in their room as well, but my experience with that started when they were 50 or 55. They definitely could have had a double bed before that. In fact, I know they did because their double bed ended up with my parents and then with me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as the DW initiates the move it will be fine. But if any DH dates entertain this idea good luck!

Someone told me that at some point in time couples used to sleep in separate bed not sure if that's true. We need to normalize that again. Nothing is better than sleeping in your own bed and it has nothing to do with the love you have for your spouse.

I had an aunt and uncle that never shared a bed. They had 2 twin beds in their room. Granted they were older(would be in their early 100s now if alive) and that was typically for their generation.

Do you know they NEVER shared a bed? My grand parents had single beds in their room as well, but my experience with that started when they were 50 or 55. They definitely could have had a double bed before that. In fact, I know they did because their double bed ended up with my parents and then with me!

Two beds in the same room is my ideal sleeping arrangement (assuming our sleep schedules match up). I can wear earplugs and do white noise for snoring. It’s the tossing and turning I can’t handle. Two queen size beds, like a hotel room! plenty of room to cuddle in the AM and PM, then glorious space to sleep.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if we are just more anxious today as people; and as result, have become "clingy". I feel like married couples used to have far more independent and weren't so emotionally and physically reliant on one another. Nowadays if you don't here from your house 2 hours after he/she is supposed to be home it's worry time...

[Anonymous]

Hear*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm your husband. My love language is cuddles. Frankly it's the only thing that keeps me going. I would spiral into severe anxiety if I couldn't have physical contact and affection, particularly at night.

I would tread carefully here, OP. He might get his needs fulfilled elsewhere. I would strongly consider this if my husband wasn't willing and able to cuddle me all night long.

If a man needs someone else to emotionally regulate thats a very dangerous precedent to set. I'm guessing it's also her fault if you have a bad night of sleep, or a rough day at work, or she's just "touched out" from the kids and doesnt want to have sex or cuddle at the end of the night?

[Anonymous]

Sex does not matter in a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sex does not matter in a marriage.

Glad I'm not married to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm your husband. My love language is cuddles. Frankly it's the only thing that keeps me going. I would spiral into severe anxiety if I couldn't have physical contact and affection, particularly at night.

I would tread carefully here, OP. He might get his needs fulfilled elsewhere. I would strongly consider this if my husband wasn't willing and able to cuddle me all night long.

You sound like an energy vampire.