Sleeping in Separate Beds
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Anonymous
| How many of you sleep separate from your partner/spouse? My DH *HATES* to sleep separate and kicks up a huge stink about it, claiming he's unable to get rest in a separate bed. I prefer sleeping alone and don't see it as a big deal. He says it's abnormal and he loves to cuddle and wants to wake up next to each other. How have you handled this issue? |
Anonymous
| My husband snores like a freight train, which made a sleep divorce inevitable. We're overextended and can't handle lots of interrupted sleep, so we agreed it was necessary. We both miss the cuddling and emotional intimacy piece, and have to be mindful to address that in other ways. Until there's a cure for snoring, not much else we can do. (DH can't handle sleeping with a CPAP). |
Anonymous
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If someone isn’t sleeping then that needs to take priority over other needs however if both people aren’t on board with separate rooms, I do think it impacts the relationship. I have two family members whose husbands opted to sleep separately to get better sleep and both of my family members were very upset by it.
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Anonymous
| It definitely impacts the relationship although I can understand necessity. Why do youbwa to sleep seperately? |
Anonymous
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Seems like there is a way to compromise on this. If you both go to sleep at the same time, maybe set some time aside for cuddling and intimacy. And then if someone wakes up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep, it makes sense for that person to get another room to actually get sleep.
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Anonymous
| We have slept in separate beds for 10 years. Its great. Highly recommend. |
Anonymous
I am just a light sleeper and sleep better alone. If he turns over at night I often wake up. If he wakes up to go to the bathroom I sometimes wake up. I work from home with flexible hours, meaning I can sleep in every day- he has to be up at 6:30-7am and sets his alarm to go off several times before he actually wakes up, which gives me anxiety since I anticipate that even as we're going to bed. I've never been an "easy sleeper", even as a kid, and having him next to me just amps me up more, especially anticipating his alarm going off and waking me up way early |
Anonymous
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As long as the DW initiates the move it will be fine. But if any DH dates entertain this idea good luck!
Someone told me that at some point in time couples used to sleep in separate bed not sure if that's true. We need to normalize that again. Nothing is better than sleeping in your own bed and it has nothing to do with the love you have for your spouse. |
Anonymous
Same here. One of us is a nigth owl, the other is an early riser. Works out well. |
Anonymous
I had an aunt and uncle that never shared a bed. They had 2 twin beds in their room. Granted they were older(would be in their early 100s now if alive) and that was typically for their generation. |
Anonymous
Exactly. I dont even get how it's a debate. It's just objectively better to be in your own better, able to roll over, toss and turn, wake up to guzzle water, read some of your book if you cant sleep, etc. |
Anonymous
| Do you all have separate bedrooms? I think not having a spare bedroom is our biggest issue |
Anonymous
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It impacts the relationship. No way around it.
If the relationship is loving, intimate, very physically affectionate, has plenty of good sex, and is all around really solid, it might be ok. If not -- it could be the beginning of the end. Or of significant atrophy, anyway. |
Anonymous
Both sets of my grandparents slept in separate beds. One in twin beds in the same room (they had just always done this), and one in separate rooms (happened due to snoring). |
Anonymous
We have our own rooms. It's heavenly. Marriage is strong 
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