Parents, do you allow your college age boy live in the same bedroom with his girlfriend in your house?

[Anonymous]

Our guidance to both of our adult children
Stay in hotel

[Anonymous]

Same room

[Anonymous]

We are a Christian household. We don’t believe in fornication. We teach our children to flee promiscuity. I don’t control what they do outside of my house. But it is basic respect to obey the rules of the house you enter. If you don’t like the rules, you can stay somewhere else. This is not controlling my adult children. They have a choice. Thankfully my husband and I have a great relationship with our children. They stay and they understand and respect our rules.

[Anonymous]

My DS and his girlfriend stayed together at our house for Christmas in 2023 (college seniors) and 2024 (grad students). They share an apartment in the city where they both attend different universities. I have no "values" that require them to be separated while at our house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First two years, separate rooms. Juniors and up, same.

Do you give credit for AP and IB exam scores?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are a Christian household. We don’t believe in fornication. We teach our children to flee promiscuity. I don’t control what they do outside of my house. But it is basic respect to obey the rules of the house you enter. If you don’t like the rules, you can stay somewhere else. This is not controlling my adult children. They have a choice. Thankfully my husband and I have a great relationship with our children. They stay and they understand and respect our rules.

You didn't answer the question.

But I guess the answer is they share a room because they flee promiscuity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are a Christian household. We don’t believe in fornication. We teach our children to flee promiscuity. I don’t control what they do outside of my house. But it is basic respect to obey the rules of the house you enter. If you don’t like the rules, you can stay somewhere else. This is not controlling my adult children. They have a choice. Thankfully my husband and I have a great relationship with our children. They stay and they understand and respect our rules.

You let your children date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:separate rooms!!!

They should have a little respect for YOUR house.

My house has solid beds. They won't break any. House is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:separate rooms!!!

They should have a little respect for YOUR house.

Totally. Even now, when I stay at my parent's house as an older adult child, I still respect their rules and quirks. We don't wear shoes in their house. We don't leave dirty dishes in their sink. We don't bring any alcohol because one of them is sober and the other never drank, so they don't want it there. Our kids know the drill, too. Anytime we stay in someone else's house, which is rare, we show respect.

My parents had sex in their house. I respect and perpetuate their traditions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also depends on size of the bed or the room. Most parents don't have extra money to put queen or king bed in childhood bedrooms which now only gets used a few weeks per year.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Can you tell him to stop bringing his girlfriend home and to events. My kids aren't that old yet but I'm already annoyed thinking about the possibility.

Of course a parent can do that, and it's excellent strategy to build a relationship with your adult kid where they want limited contact with you

How adult are they at 21? Are you done paying for college and their living expenses?

So rules are different if they've a full ride?

I get, I guess, the my house my rules sentiment, but I will never understand the need to control your children's behavior until they are completely financially independent. Baffling

The my house my rules thing just seems like grasping at control straws. Your sweet baby is grown and doesnt need you anymore, so you try and exert your "parental control" by doing this. Seems silly to me.

Same room is fine with us.

It depends on religious and cultural values as well. What's good for the goose, isn't necessarily by default good for the gander or even other geese.

Will no one think about the ducks?

My children will NOT DUCK under my roof!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they are in a committed relationship same room.

This.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Can you tell him to stop bringing his girlfriend home and to events. My kids aren't that old yet but I'm already annoyed thinking about the possibility.

Of course a parent can do that, and it's excellent strategy to build a relationship with your adult kid where they want limited contact with you

How adult are they at 21? Are you done paying for college and their living expenses?

So rules are different if they've a full ride?

Everyone gets one full ride, either at school or at home during break.

[Anonymous]

If I like him, he doesn't have to stay in a separate room.

He can stay in my room.

[Anonymous]

All problems can be solved by guests staying in a motel, hotel, Airbnb, or campground.

I do, when visiting people, even my parents, and I prefer it when others do while visiting me.