Parents, do you allow your college age boy live in the same bedroom with his girlfriend in your house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Separate rooms. Till married. I am not going to be greeted in the morning by them exiting the same room. But also I'm not policing during the night, where they are --- not thinking about it.

lol my mom has this rule, my fiancé and I were sleeping in separate rooms when I was 26 and he was 35. Her house, her rules whatever, of course we respected them. But it felt stupid, unwelcoming, and like a sign that SEX was hanging over our heads and she needed to frantically turn it off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Separate rooms. Till married. I am not going to be greeted in the morning by them exiting the same room. But also I'm not policing during the night, where they are --- not thinking about it.

lol my mom has this rule, my fiancé and I were sleeping in separate rooms when I was 26 and he was 35. Her house, her rules whatever, of course we respected them. But it felt stupid, unwelcoming, and like a sign that SEX was hanging over our heads and she needed to frantically turn it off.

We are talking about college are kids here. They are usually younger than 24? and depends on their parents financial support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, but I know he sneaks into DD’s room in the middle of the night. Aged 21.

They all do.

[Anonymous]

sorry for above typo.

we are taking about college age kids here. They are usually younger than 24? and financially depends on their parents

[Anonymous]

I remember DH's mom doing this when we were graduate students living together. Then she allowed it for her own DD and her boyfriend a few years later. Seems silly when you know they are already having sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Separate rooms. Till married. I am not going to be greeted in the morning by them exiting the same room. But also I'm not policing during the night, where they are --- not thinking about it.

lol my mom has this rule, my fiancé and I were sleeping in separate rooms when I was 26 and he was 35. Her house, her rules whatever, of course we respected them. But it felt stupid, unwelcoming, and like a sign that SEX was hanging over our heads and she needed to frantically turn it off.

We are talking about college are kids here. They are usually younger than 24? and depends on their parents financial support.

Some are but the PP was specific about “separate rooms until married “ which is the same dumb rule my mom had. Age was irrelevant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Separate rooms. Till married. I am not going to be greeted in the morning by them exiting the same room. But also I'm not policing during the night, where they are --- not thinking about it.

But WHY?? It makes no sense. Why should she be subjected to seeing gross old people (hint: that's you) doing the same thing? You're all adults. This attitude toward sex is beyond bizarre

Could you imagine living in a world where you wake up every morning looking at two people who slept in the same bed thinking that they had sex last night.

What the **** is wrong with these people?

[Anonymous]

I was raised in a very religious household and my parents did not let us stay in the same room until we were married.

We did not live together before marriage (not for religious reasons), but I'm sure they knew we stayed in the same room on trips, etc.

I have a great relationship with my parents so it was whatever to me. Their house, their rules. My sister didn't care for the rules and got a hotel once - they were fine with that as well, no drama.

[Anonymous]

My parents always put us in separate rooms. We dated all through college and toward the end I just stopped pretending and would go to the guest room when I went to sleep. I think his parents just assumed / put us in one room by the end of jr year. We started dating the end of freshman year and are married with two kids (together 26 years).

I remember my friend wanted to stay in the family cottage with her boyfriend after freshman year and my friend’s mom asking me what I thought. I said “they can’t do anything at the cottage they can’t do in college” and she said that’s what she was thinking.

That said, my sister took a trip to NYC with a relatively new boyfriend (they ended up dating about 4 years and he proposed but she didn’t want to marry him) and they stayed with my aunt and uncle who apparently put them in the same bed and she said it was a little awkward (there was another room available). So I think offering options would be ideal. (My oldest child is a young teen - I just read this forum sometimes.).

[Anonymous]

Part of it is respect for the visiting girlfriend. I want to give you your own space in our home. You have made no formal commitment to our son (or him to you) Do whatever but the room's there for you. If you want some privacy, you can have some privacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Part of it is respect for the visiting girlfriend. I want to give you your own space in our home. You have made no formal commitment to our son (or him to you) Do whatever but the room's there for you. If you want some privacy, you can have some privacy.

That actually makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Part of it is respect for the visiting girlfriend. I want to give you your own space in our home. You have made no formal commitment to our son (or him to you) Do whatever but the room's there for you. If you want some privacy, you can have some privacy.

Very fair... +1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Separate rooms. Till married. I am not going to be greeted in the morning by them exiting the same room. But also I'm not policing during the night, where they are --- not thinking about it.

But WHY?? It makes no sense. Why should she be subjected to seeing gross old people (hint: that's you) doing the same thing? You're all adults. This attitude toward sex is beyond bizarre

I agree. The insistence on separate rooms screams "I know what you're doing, wink wink." Ugh, shivers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you tell him to stop bringing his girlfriend home and to events. My kids aren't that old yet but I'm already annoyed thinking about the possibility.

Of course a parent can do that, and it's excellent strategy to build a relationship with your adult kid where they want limited contact with you

How adult are they at 21? Are you done paying for college and their living expenses?

I am married to the man I was dating at 21 and have been married to him for 20 years now. My parents had a pretty straightforward rule that they would not have us share a room in their house until we were engaged which fair enough but if they were treating him as a temporary person who would not stick around just because we were young, that would have created friction for the future.