Frustrated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your original post is all about you, what you want, and your goals for her. How much of her frantic efforts to transfer somewhere is you pushing her? I would guess it's all you and your dreams not hers.

What does she want? Does she actually want to transfer? Why? Why can't her career goals be achieved where she is?

You, at least, need to sit down and read some of the "Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be" type books. Settle down, back off, let her live her life. Most people in the world go to "no name" schools and still succeed in life.

"This feels like the end of the road for her future possibilities" - if you think someone who is 20 and who is actually in college (and who is "taking challenging classes, getting decent grades, volunteering, clubs, etc.") has forfeited all her future possibilities, you need therapy. Seriously. Your mind is not at all in the right place.

Exactly this. What does your DD want?

We have a kid the same age as your's who transferred into one of the schools you named after their freshman year. A move entirely driven by our kid. And guess what? After the transfer, they missed the original school.

However, it is all working out and they are set to finish on time next year. The point isn't so much the grass is always greener on the other side as it is focus on what your kid wants and be positive about the work she is doing there.

[Anonymous]

Sorry. Kids far more "impressive" than your DC have been shut out. I have some sympathy for them, honestly. But not a kid with mostly Bs in high school and "decent" grades at a "lower" college.

It really doesn't sound like she deserves more prestigious acceptances, despite you throwing money at this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I appreciate everyone’s input. I’m aware that my daughter isn’t a straight As valedictorian. I know she’s not getting into princeton but it also doesn’t automatically bar her from a better school. And yes, I used strong language because that’s how it’s felt watching her get rejected again and again.

We have considered “mid-level” schools, but even those seem tough to get into lately, and the ones I listed are places she’s always dreamed of attending. It’s not just me pushing some elitist agenda. I do believe she’s capable of higher-level work, or at least she wants to push herself toward that.

I think she has the potential to go farther than her current school allows. As for private counselors, we might look into it again, although some of the fees are sky high and we’ve already spent a lot on tutoring. And yes, the idea of grad school at a better-known university is on our radar, but she’d still prefer to fix her undergrad path if possible.

Step 1: Do better than "decent" with the lower level work at your lower level college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Long time lurker needing to vent. DD (20 years old, finishing her sophomore year) has applied to more competitive schools three times (two times as a college student one time as a high schooler) and gotten rejected all times.

Has anyone else gone through a situation like this? .

Have not gone through this nor have I ever heard of such a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Several people mention marketing as not being a major. I don't understand this. Marketing is a major/concentration/focus in most undergrad business programs (and is increasingly data-focused).

at a lower-ranked school its definitely a vocational or trade major.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long time lurker needing to vent. DD (20 years old, finishing her sophomore year) has applied to more competitive schools three times (two times as a college student one time as a high schooler) and gotten rejected all times. She’s currently at a private I never wanted her at in the first place.

Back in high school, she was a decent student (mostly B’s, a few A’s, not a good test taker) but not great, so I knew the Ivies and top-tier schools would be a stretch. But I thought for sure she could work her way up once in college. She’s poured her heart into her first two years at this lower place, taking challenging classes, getting decent grades, volunteering, clubs, etc.

Yet every single “higher” school she applied to has shot her down. Northeastern, Georgetown, UCLA, Tulane, UVA, Wake Forest, William and Mary, USC (dream school), UCSD, Irvine, UT Austin, UFlorida, Georgia, BostonU, BostonC, etc. She has one more chance to apply to transfer before she hits the credit limit that makes transferring impractical not to mention the additional semesters of tuition it would cost us. If this last try doesn’t work out, she’ll be stuck finishing at the same no-name place. This feels like the end of the road for her future possibilities, and I’m heartbroken, and honestly, kind of furious.

I understand maybe this is just “how it is,” but I see other kids in her high school class who breezed into brand-name colleges left and right. We spent thousands of dollars on tutoring, SAT prep, extracurricular camps, you name it. She’s a bright kid but apparently not bright enough for the pretentious and sadistic admissions committees.

Has anyone else gone through a situation like this? I’m trying to figure out if we have any last-ditch strategies, or if I just have to come to terms with the fact that my daughter may have to remain at a school that, in my heart, I believe is beneath her potential. I just want honest opinions and some glimmer of hope. Thanks for reading, everyone.

Transfers are far harder than freshman admissions - and most top schools prefer top community college students.

The UC schools require a college 3.7 if OOS.
Imagine Wake and Tulane are 3.8.

This data is out there - if OP really cared she could look this up herself.

[Anonymous]

I don't think going to a non-selective school for undergrad will necessarily limit her potential. FWIW, I went to Cornell for undergrad, and 10 years out, am not as successful as a colleague of mine who went to Eastern Tennessee State. He's just better at what we do in terms of getting the actual work done. Also, I am not willing to be up and working at 7am every Saturday, but that is just his nature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Long time lurker needing to vent. DD (20 years old, finishing her sophomore year) has applied to more competitive schools three times (two times as a college student one time as a high schooler) and gotten rejected all times. She’s currently at a private I never wanted her at in the first place.

Back in high school, she was a decent student (mostly B’s, a few A’s, not a good test taker) but not great, so I knew the Ivies and top-tier schools would be a stretch. But I thought for sure she could work her way up once in college. She’s poured her heart into her first two years at this lower place, taking challenging classes, getting decent grades, volunteering, clubs, etc.

Yet every single “higher” school she applied to has shot her down. Northeastern, Georgetown, UCLA, Tulane, UVA, Wake Forest, William and Mary, USC (dream school), UCSD, Irvine, UT Austin, UFlorida, Georgia, BostonU, BostonC, etc. She has one more chance to apply to transfer before she hits the credit limit that makes transferring impractical not to mention the additional semesters of tuition it would cost us. If this last try doesn’t work out, she’ll be stuck finishing at the same no-name place. This feels like the end of the road for her future possibilities, and I’m heartbroken, and honestly, kind of furious.

I understand maybe this is just “how it is,” but I see other kids in her high school class who breezed into brand-name colleges left and right. We spent thousands of dollars on tutoring, SAT prep, extracurricular camps, you name it. She’s a bright kid but apparently not bright enough for the pretentious and sadistic admissions committees.

Has anyone else gone through a situation like this? I’m trying to figure out if we have any last-ditch strategies, or if I just have to come to terms with the fact that my daughter may have to remain at a school that, in my heart, I believe is beneath her potential. I just want honest opinions and some glimmer of hope. Thanks for reading, everyone.

Wtf? She's a B student. Why on earth do you think she'd be accepted at the schools you listed?

[Anonymous]

I bet a bunch of people who read and post on this forum know people who went to the college the OP's daughter attends and were perfectly content there and are now leading happy engaged lives and working in careers that are in no way lessened for having graduated from this college.

[Anonymous]

Yikes - this post is really off-putting to me. My son's grades in high school were mostly As, some Bs, he was involved in many extracurriculars, and goes to Mason as a commuter student because it is what we can afford. I really don't think it is limiting his abilities for future success.

[Anonymous]

I think it would be "sadistic" of these admissions committees to accept your DD over the thousands --*thousands*-- who apply who have outperformed her.

[Anonymous]

I dunno. I call troll. This "parent" is too delusional to be true for around here. The DMV is home to a pretty clued-in crowd.

[Anonymous]

there's some very good advice here, if in fact this is a real person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Several people mention marketing as not being a major. I don't understand this. Marketing is a major/concentration/focus in most undergrad business programs (and is increasingly data-focused).

Correct.

[Anonymous]

Transferring is borderline impossible from a four year university. If you're trying to transfer to JMU, fine, but anything around t50 and it's an uphill battle if you aren't from a community college. Even more so if you're looking to transfer into a program that already exists at your current four year. Four year transfers are often SOL unless they're exceptional.