Frustrated

[Anonymous]

So your kid is going to have applied to schools FOUR TIMES??? Three times is ridiculous and four times is clinically insane.

[Anonymous]

Honey, it's far better to be good at what she is than bad at what she isn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Long time lurker needing to vent. DD (20 years old, finishing her sophomore year) has applied to more competitive schools three times (two times as a college student one time as a high schooler) and gotten rejected all times. She’s currently at a private I never wanted her at in the first place.

Back in high school, she was a decent student (mostly B’s, a few A’s, not a good test taker) but not great, so I knew the Ivies and top-tier schools would be a stretch. But I thought for sure she could work her way up once in college. She’s poured her heart into her first two years at this lower place, taking challenging classes, getting decent grades, volunteering, clubs, etc.

Yet every single “higher” school she applied to has shot her down. Northeastern, Georgetown, UCLA, Tulane, UVA, Wake Forest, William and Mary, USC (dream school), UCSD, Irvine, UT Austin, UFlorida, Georgia, BostonU, BostonC, etc. She has one more chance to apply to transfer before she hits the credit limit that makes transferring impractical not to mention the additional semesters of tuition it would cost us. If this last try doesn’t work out, she’ll be stuck finishing at the same no-name place. This feels like the end of the road for her future possibilities, and I’m heartbroken, and honestly, kind of furious.

I understand maybe this is just “how it is,” but I see other kids in her high school class who breezed into brand-name colleges left and right. We spent thousands of dollars on tutoring, SAT prep, extracurricular camps, you name it. She’s a bright kid but apparently not bright enough for the pretentious and sadistic admissions committees.

Has anyone else gone through a situation like this? I’m trying to figure out if we have any last-ditch strategies, or if I just have to come to terms with the fact that my daughter may have to remain at a school that, in my heart, I believe is beneath her potential. I just want honest opinions and some glimmer of hope. Thanks for reading, everyone.

What makes you so sure she's better than all the other good people out there?

Elitists are bad, but failed elitists are worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dunno. I call troll. This "parent" is too delusional to be true for around here. The DMV is home to a pretty clued-in crowd.

Hahahaha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry. Kids far more "impressive" than your DC have been shut out. I have some sympathy for them, honestly. But not a kid with mostly Bs in high school and "decent" grades at a "lower" college.

It really doesn't sound like she deserves more prestigious acceptances, despite you throwing money at this.

This. I’m thinking of a kid at BC who didn’t get Ivy. Literally 1600 on SATs. He’s a true genius. But she thinks her utterly mediocre daughter should be there with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too many foreigners

Pop is in state VA. Both WM and UVA take about 1/3 OOS, which includes foreigners +!kids from flyover country. Going to no foreigners wouldn’t change her odds.

Agree with PPs, the way UVA/WM/VT are geared right now, it’s very hard to transfer directly in. If your kid were serious CC was the route. Plus, WM takes WL kids over transfer as spring admits.

I do know a kid who struggled, probably had lower grades than your DD, transferred to UMW and flourished. Had some cool opportunities and righted her ship. Doing well post graduation.

Honestly, if she’s tried to transfer, she needs a “lesser” VA state school— JMU or GMU or VCU (or UMW/ CNU for smaller). Kids do great things out these schools too.

The kids who “walzed in” out of CC were willing to do 2 years of CC. Your kid wasn’t. If you were that intent on repetition college admissions, not going the cc route was a mistake.

But, quit harassing her and making her feel bad. And let her take the transfer time & energy and focus instead on succeeding where she is. Get a degree with the best possible GPA. Hustle for internships. Have her burnish her resume before any grad school. 5 year MBAs while working can be employer reimbursed, at least in part, and embrace focuses on real world experience. Remember: in most cases undergrad matters only for getting your first job. I certainly know kids who came out of college, took additional classes or retook at an cc and got into a decent grad program. Maybe not Ivy. But decent. After that, people look at grad schools and networking matters. And in the oddest ways. I got a federal clerkship b through a law school roommate. My toe in the door at a federal agency because someone zi did doc review with after recession downsizing was there and said something to the hiring manager.

You seem to keep wanting a redo of college admissions. But that isn’t happening. Time to pivot. Do well where she is, then carefully consider the next steps. But three strikes at “ dream schools”? Time to adjust her dream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dunno. I call troll. This "parent" is too delusional to be true for around here. The DMV is home to a pretty clued-in crowd.

You should be a comedian

[Anonymous]

Her best bet now is to stop focusing on transferring and "what could be" and actually thrive where she is. If it's such a no-name school and she's better than all the other students, then she should be a shining star and taking advantage of the opportunities that a big fish in a small pond has. Do research with profs, get published, be in honors societies, etc. These things will help her get into a grad program or other post-school opportunity that will be a "better fit" for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too many foreigners

Pop is in state VA. Both WM and UVA take about 1/3 OOS, which includes foreigners +!kids from flyover country. Going to no foreigners wouldn’t change her odds.

Agree with PPs, the way UVA/WM/VT are geared right now, it’s very hard to transfer directly in. If your kid were serious CC was the route. Plus, WM takes WL kids over transfer as spring admits.

I do know a kid who struggled, probably had lower grades than your DD, transferred to UMW and flourished. Had some cool opportunities and righted her ship. Doing well post graduation.

Honestly, if she’s tried to transfer, she needs a “lesser” VA state school— JMU or GMU or VCU (or UMW/ CNU for smaller). Kids do great things out these schools too.

The kids who “walzed in” out of CC were willing to do 2 years of CC. Your kid wasn’t. If you were that intent on repetition college admissions, not going the cc route was a mistake.

But, quit harassing her and making her feel bad. And let her take the transfer time & energy and focus instead on succeeding where she is. Get a degree with the best possible GPA. Hustle for internships. Have her burnish her resume before any grad school. 5 year MBAs while working can be employer reimbursed, at least in part, and embrace focuses on real world experience. Remember: in most cases undergrad matters only for getting your first job. I certainly know kids who came out of college, took additional classes or retook at an cc and got into a decent grad program. Maybe not Ivy. But decent. After that, people look at grad schools and networking matters. And in the oddest ways. I got a federal clerkship b through a law school roommate. My toe in the door at a federal agency because someone zi did doc review with after recession downsizing was there and said something to the hiring manager.

You seem to keep wanting a redo of college admissions. But that isn’t happening. Time to pivot. Do well where she is, then carefully consider the next steps. But three strikes at “ dream schools”? Time to adjust her dream.

Why shouldn't she get a second chance?

[Anonymous]

OP I think your logic is flawed that your daughter will get a better education or opportunities at these other schools. Unless she is miserable at her current school she should just make the most of it there. It may be harder to find some opportunities but it can be done.

[Anonymous]

This thread appears to be just an advertisement for a college counseling service.

Wake up folks. This is a fake situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too many foreigners

Pop is in state VA. Both WM and UVA take about 1/3 OOS, which includes foreigners +!kids from flyover country. Going to no foreigners wouldn’t change her odds.

Agree with PPs, the way UVA/WM/VT are geared right now, it’s very hard to transfer directly in. If your kid were serious CC was the route. Plus, WM takes WL kids over transfer as spring admits.

I do know a kid who struggled, probably had lower grades than your DD, transferred to UMW and flourished. Had some cool opportunities and righted her ship. Doing well post graduation.

Honestly, if she’s tried to transfer, she needs a “lesser” VA state school— JMU or GMU or VCU (or UMW/ CNU for smaller). Kids do great things out these schools too.

The kids who “walzed in” out of CC were willing to do 2 years of CC. Your kid wasn’t. If you were that intent on repetition college admissions, not going the cc route was a mistake.

But, quit harassing her and making her feel bad. And let her take the transfer time & energy and focus instead on succeeding where she is. Get a degree with the best possible GPA. Hustle for internships. Have her burnish her resume before any grad school. 5 year MBAs while working can be employer reimbursed, at least in part, and embrace focuses on real world experience. Remember: in most cases undergrad matters only for getting your first job. I certainly know kids who came out of college, took additional classes or retook at an cc and got into a decent grad program. Maybe not Ivy. But decent. After that, people look at grad schools and networking matters. And in the oddest ways. I got a federal clerkship b through a law school roommate. My toe in the door at a federal agency because someone zi did doc review with after recession downsizing was there and said something to the hiring manager.

You seem to keep wanting a redo of college admissions. But that isn’t happening. Time to pivot. Do well where she is, then carefully consider the next steps. But three strikes at “ dream schools”? Time to adjust her dream.

Why shouldn't she get a second chance?

She did get a second chance at admissions, and still wasn't admitted.

Her second chance at being a stellar student is happening now, at the school where she's attending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread appears to be just an advertisement for a college counseling service.

Wake up folks. This is a fake situation.

The OP said nothing about college counselling and multiple different services have been suggested by other posters. OP even said later in the thread that college counselling is too expensive... What are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread appears to be just an advertisement for a college counseling service.

Wake up folks. This is a fake situation.

The OP said nothing about college counselling and multiple different services have been suggested by other posters. OP even said later in the thread that college counselling is too expensive... What are you talking about?

I am referring to this obviously fake scenario which was created to promote the college counseling service which has been cited on multiple pages including the first page.

Wake up. Don't be so gullible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is a Marketing major with a 3.6 or so GPA (above the recommended GPA for many programs) , lots of volunteer hours, club involvement, the whole nine yards and yet every time she tries , the door gets slammed in her face. Those so-called “flagships” that you are talking about are insanely competitive now, too. In state in Virginia and rejection after rejection. Meanwhile, community college students get priority at the same in state schools that keep turning her down. It’s infuriating to watch other kids with slightly better test scores or 0.05 better GPAs waltz in while she’s left with rejection after rejection. We’re tired of being at a college everyone looks down on and want a shot at better internships. But no matter how hard she works, she’s always overlooked.

BTW I’m not forcing her to do anything. Stop trying to force your narrative onto me.

So then why didn’t you have her start at a community college?