Frustrated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is a Marketing major with a 3.6 or so GPA (above the recommended GPA for many programs) , lots of volunteer hours, club involvement, the whole nine yards and yet every time she tries , the door gets slammed in her face. Those so-called “flagships” that you are talking about are insanely competitive now, too. In state in Virginia and rejection after rejection. Meanwhile, community college students get priority at the same in state schools that keep turning her down. It’s infuriating to watch other kids with slightly better test scores or 0.05 better GPAs waltz in while she’s left with rejection after rejection. We’re tired of being at a college everyone looks down on and want a shot at better internships. But no matter how hard she works, she’s always overlooked.

BTW I’m not forcing her to do anything. Stop trying to force your narrative onto me.

You really need to get a college counselor for an unbiased opinion on why she's getting passed by.

Still laughing to myself - 3.6 in Marketing at a no name school- Marketing!!!!! yet she thinks she’s Georgetown material 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I appreciate everyone’s input. I’m aware that my daughter isn’t a straight As valedictorian. I know she’s not getting into princeton but it also doesn’t automatically bar her from a better school. And yes, I used strong language because that’s how it’s felt watching her get rejected again and again.

We have considered “mid-level” schools, but even those seem tough to get into lately, and the ones I listed are places she’s always dreamed of attending. It’s not just me pushing some elitist agenda. I do believe she’s capable of higher-level work, or at least she wants to push herself toward that.

I think she has the potential to go farther than her current school allows. As for private counselors, we might look into it again, although some of the fees are sky high and we’ve already spent a lot on tutoring. And yes, the idea of grad school at a better-known university is on our radar, but she’d still prefer to fix her undergrad path if possible.

How is her current school preventing her from going farther?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about University of Colorado Boulder? A good friend’s daughter who was a decent not great student is thriving there. Is a communications and marketing major or something like that. Also consider where her courses will transfer.

How do you make a school recommendation when you really know nothing about the field of study/location/finances/preferences? OP is seeking T25.

Are you OP? The schools she mentioned are not all top 25 and her student is getting into neither any top 25 or any of the schools she mentioned with the profile she described.

Boulder is a state flagship that is easier to get into, gives kids a great college experience, has a strong alumni network, is not obscure, and has a program that aligns with what her DD is studying and she could possibly get into with the profile as presented.

It was food for thought.

That is all.

Exactly how was your post useful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is a Marketing major with a 3.6 or so GPA (above the recommended GPA for many programs) , lots of volunteer hours, club involvement, the whole nine yards and yet every time she tries , the door gets slammed in her face. Those so-called “flagships” that you are talking about are insanely competitive now, too. In state in Virginia and rejection after rejection. Meanwhile, community college students get priority at the same in state schools that keep turning her down. It’s infuriating to watch other kids with slightly better test scores or 0.05 better GPAs waltz in while she’s left with rejection after rejection. We’re tired of being at a college everyone looks down on and want a shot at better internships. But no matter how hard she works, she’s always overlooked.

BTW I’m not forcing her to do anything. Stop trying to force your narrative onto me.

You really need to get a college counselor for an unbiased opinion on why she's getting passed by.

Everyone commenting on this thread can see why her DD is getting passed up. That does not take a counselor. A counselor would be good for identifying options that may fit the bill in terms of what she is looking for and where she could get into.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do well in the no name college and get into a name grad school OP.

This.
My husband and I both went down this path. Me because I had ADHD and took most of high school to get my s$%t together. My husband because his parents declined to pay for undergrad if there was a free option (he got into 2 Ivies, went to his state school's honor college for free).
We both went to top "name brand" grad schools in our respective fields.

[Anonymous]

I had a 4.2 when I graduated high school in 2006, tons of extracurriculars, etc etc. I ended up at my safety school, JMU, because I didn’t get in to UVa or William and Mary. I had gotten into UGA and other out of state schools that were bigger names but it wasn’t until I was already accepted that my parents told me I couldn’t go out of state- argh!
I’m a doctor now, and I actually beat out two UVa grads for my first job. I’m doing just fine in life. It all works out in the end but to be honest, I’m still a little bitter about the UVA situation!!!

[Anonymous]

OP- you are freaking out bc you are morning the loss of a story you’ve told yourself. Great college= great and successful life. But it doesn’t always work out that way! You need to PIVOT. It is still possible for your daughter to be really successful in life but the message you are sending her is this school is not good enough, hence you are not good enough. You are shaking her confidence and filling her with doubt that she can achieve at such a low level school. There are a ton a ppl who forge their way from no name schools, or who start businesses or who dominate in sales who creates their own path. You are focused on this ONE trajectory and are not deviating from it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do well in the no name college and get into a name grad school OP.

This.
My husband and I both went down this path. Me because I had ADHD and took most of high school to get my s$%t together. My husband because his parents declined to pay for undergrad if there was a free option (he got into 2 Ivies, went to his state school's honor college for free).
We both went to top "name brand" grad schools in our respective fields.

Similar story to your husband. Agree it’ll be fine. It’s the student that matters. Not the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long time lurker needing to vent. DD (20 years old, finishing her sophomore year) has applied to more competitive schools three times (two times as a college student one time as a high schooler) and gotten rejected all times. She’s currently at a private I never wanted her at in the first place.

Back in high school, she was a decent student (mostly B’s, a few A’s, not a good test taker) but not great, so I knew the Ivies and top-tier schools would be a stretch. But I thought for sure she could work her way up once in college. She’s poured her heart into her first two years at this lower place, taking challenging classes, getting decent grades, volunteering, clubs, etc.

Yet every single “higher” school she applied to has shot her down. Northeastern, Georgetown, UCLA, Tulane, UVA, Wake Forest, William and Mary, USC (dream school), UCSD, Irvine, UT Austin, UFlorida, Georgia, BostonU, BostonC, etc. She has one more chance to apply to transfer before she hits the credit limit that makes transferring impractical not to mention the additional semesters of tuition it would cost us. If this last try doesn’t work out, she’ll be stuck finishing at the same no-name place. This feels like the end of the road for her future possibilities, and I’m heartbroken, and honestly, kind of furious.

I understand maybe this is just “how it is,” but I see other kids in her high school class who breezed into brand-name colleges left and right. We spent thousands of dollars on tutoring, SAT prep, extracurricular camps, you name it. She’s a bright kid but apparently not bright enough for the pretentious and sadistic admissions committees.

Has anyone else gone through a situation like this? I’m trying to figure out if we have any last-ditch strategies, or if I just have to come to terms with the fact that my daughter may have to remain at a school that, in my heart, I believe is beneath her potential. I just want honest opinions and some glimmer of hope. Thanks for reading, everyone.

More Bs than As in high school plus not a good test taker means she was no where near the level of the students at the schools you are trying to attain(all basically T30-50), and her grades at her current college sound as though they are less than 3.8 or you would not have used the word “decent”. Transfer students to the T50 from lower ranked schools usually need to have 3.9+, 3.8 minimum.
She is not the right caliber of student for her aims: she would likely be well below average if one of them let her in. You need to accept the kid you have and help her accept the school and do her best there. People have many great jobs from many great colleges. People who breeze into T50 from high school are a different level. And those who graduate top of the class in all the hard classes and get 5s on almost all AP without tutors are a different level still, and can get into T10/ivy. Each kid needs to do their own best and not chase untenable goals. Let her be.

+100

She’s struggling.

We didn’t pay for any of the stuff you did or groom our son. He was light years ahead from a young age w/out spending hours studying or prepping. He also was talented in other areas.

Straight As, 35 one sitting/no prep ACT sophomore year and 5s on every single Ap exam. He was accepted RD to Ivies, T10, etc unhooked.

I have seen people make the mistake you are making. They for some reason think they can just transfer after 1 year into much harder schools. It’s a fallacy. For example, transfer rate at Princeton is less than 1%. Ivies are lower rates than coming out of HS.

You need to make peace. She can do what I did, love my 3rd choice. Do well and go to grad school. It all worked out. And, yes, a lot of my co-workers are Ivy grads.

[Anonymous]

Is Marketing even a real degree?

No- she is where she should be. Let her own it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is Marketing even a real degree?

No- she is where she should be. Let her own it.

Marketing is a concentration under a business admin degree.

There are marketing professionals out there. That's why you're buying too many gadgets. 🙂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is Marketing even a real degree?

No- she is where she should be. Let her own it.

Marketing is a concentration under a business admin degree.

There are marketing professionals out there. That's why you're buying too many gadgets. 🙂

Yeah. But Marketing & Communications were the degrees the not very bright went into at my large state university. If the daughter isn’t even getting stellar grades in this lightweight major it says a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long time lurker needing to vent. DD (20 years old, finishing her sophomore year) has applied to more competitive schools three times (two times as a college student one time as a high schooler) and gotten rejected all times. She’s currently at a private I never wanted her at in the first place.

Back in high school, she was a decent student (mostly B’s, a few A’s, not a good test taker) but not great, so I knew the Ivies and top-tier schools would be a stretch. But I thought for sure she could work her way up once in college. She’s poured her heart into her first two years at this lower place, taking challenging classes, getting decent grades, volunteering, clubs, etc.

Yet every single “higher” school she applied to has shot her down. Northeastern, Georgetown, UCLA, Tulane, UVA, Wake Forest, William and Mary, USC (dream school), UCSD, Irvine, UT Austin, UFlorida, Georgia, BostonU, BostonC, etc. She has one more chance to apply to transfer before she hits the credit limit that makes transferring impractical not to mention the additional semesters of tuition it would cost us. If this last try doesn’t work out, she’ll be stuck finishing at the same no-name place. This feels like the end of the road for her future possibilities, and I’m heartbroken, and honestly, kind of furious.

I understand maybe this is just “how it is,” but I see other kids in her high school class who breezed into brand-name colleges left and right. We spent thousands of dollars on tutoring, SAT prep, extracurricular camps, you name it. She’s a bright kid but apparently not bright enough for the pretentious and sadistic admissions committees.

Has anyone else gone through a situation like this? I’m trying to figure out if we have any last-ditch strategies, or if I just have to come to terms with the fact that my daughter may have to remain at a school that, in my heart, I believe is beneath her potential. I just want honest opinions and some glimmer of hope. Thanks for reading, everyone.

More Bs than As in high school plus not a good test taker means she was no where near the level of the students at the schools you are trying to attain(all basically T30-50), and her grades at her current college sound as though they are less than 3.8 or you would not have used the word “decent”. Transfer students to the T50 from lower ranked schools usually need to have 3.9+, 3.8 minimum.
She is not the right caliber of student for her aims: she would likely be well below average if one of them let her in. You need to accept the kid you have and help her accept the school and do her best there. People have many great jobs from many great colleges. People who breeze into T50 from high school are a different level. And those who graduate top of the class in all the hard classes and get 5s on almost all AP without tutors are a different level still, and can get into T10/ivy. Each kid needs to do their own best and not chase untenable goals. Let her be.

+100

She’s struggling.

We didn’t pay for any of the stuff you did or groom our son. He was light years ahead from a young age w/out spending hours studying or prepping. He also was talented in other areas.

Straight As, 35 one sitting/no prep ACT sophomore year and 5s on every single Ap exam. He was accepted RD to Ivies, T10, etc unhooked.

I have seen people make the mistake you are making. They for some reason think they can just transfer after 1 year into much harder schools. It’s a fallacy. For example, transfer rate at Princeton is less than 1%. Ivies are lower rates than coming out of HS.

You need to make peace. She can do what I did, love my 3rd choice. Do well and go to grad school. It all worked out. And, yes, a lot of my co-workers are Ivy grads.

It’s the “everyone gets a trophy” mentality.

People expect their kids to get things they want even when they don’t deserve it. Many school districts started this crap and veered away from anything merit-based….so you get people like OP, e.g., highly frustrated when they hit a wall.

[Anonymous]

How is she feeling about the transfer or lack thereof? FWIW, my son had the option to transfer to Georgia Tech under the Conditional Pathways Transfer program (I am an alum), from a far less well ranked school, and decided he didn't want to do it. He wanted to stay with the friends he had made where he is. I don't necessarily agree with the decision, but it is completely his choice.

[Anonymous]

If your DD is not getting all As at her “no name” school, what makes you positive that she can do higher level work? She should work hard to get top grades, make connections and take advantage of all opportunities at her current school.
For what it’s worth one of my kids went to a school most of you would consider beneath them, graduated with a 4.0 and is at Georgetown Law now.
It’s what you do, not where you are - and it’s ok that your daughter isn’t at a “top” school.