Rich white kids at Ivies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So called 'connections' is BS for the most part for normal middle class folks.

Exactly

If you come from LC/MC, what do you bring to the table that those rich white kids want to hang out with you? It is like a person who is fat, broke and lazy but yet wants to have a beautiful model girlfriend. The real world does not operate that way.

My DS, from a MC family, just finished his first-year at an Ivy school as a recruited athlete and this is what he told me: 1- Wealthy kids wanted to hang out with him because they want to be "cool"; 2- They can tag with him to cool parties and talk to pretty girls that they can't do that on their own; 3) My DS can play guitar and sing, so girls are naturally drawn to him (it also happened in HS), and those wealthy kids want to hang out with DS because they want to be like him. One of the wealthy kids, whose father is a CEO of a F500 company, flew him to Vail during winter break in a private jet to stay at his parents' vacation home for two weeks and gave him 10K spending money. He also promises DS that his mother will get DS an internship if DS is his friend during the next four years in college and beyond.

So you need a hook not just to get in these places, but also later to be part of the beneficial 'networking' environments people see there.

FWIW my kid goes to a lower tier private school and has classmates with the same sort of wealth and connected parents. Actually, you can see this at publics too. Lots of the MC athletes hang out with the fraternities (who are kids of donors and legacies and wealthy) etc. NONE of this dynamic is exclusive to Ivys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So called 'connections' is BS for the most part for normal middle class folks.

Exactly

If you come from LC/MC, what do you bring to the table that those rich white kids want to hang out with you? It is like a person who is fat, broke and lazy but yet wants to have a beautiful model girlfriend. The real world does not operate that way.

My DS, from a MC family, just finished his first-year at an Ivy school as a recruited athlete and this is what he told me: 1- Wealthy kids wanted to hang out with him because they want to be "cool"; 2- They can tag with him to cool parties and talk to pretty girls that they can't do that on their own; 3) My DS can play guitar and sing, so girls are naturally drawn to him (it also happened in HS), and those wealthy kids want to hang out with DS because they want to be like him. One of the wealthy kids, whose father is a CEO of a F500 company, flew him to Vail during winter break in a private jet to stay at his parents' vacation home for two weeks and gave him 10K spending money. He also promises DS that his mother will get DS an internship if DS is his friend during the next four years in college and beyond.

So you need a hook not just to get in these places, but also later to be part of the beneficial 'networking' environments people see there.

FWIW my kid goes to a lower tier private school and has classmates with the same sort of wealth and connected parents. Actually, you can see this at publics too. Lots of the MC athletes hang out with the fraternities (who are kids of donors and legacies and wealthy) etc. NONE of this dynamic is exclusive to Ivys.

Yes, but you can make it "in" if you're exceptionally outgoing, good looking and charismatic.
My son's a senior at a top private high school and although we're upper middle class (at best), he moves seamlessly with the popular rung of the super rich. He's invited to Nantucket and Aspen and Europe with classmates. They adore him because he's super funny, deprecating, etc and I think most importantly---weirdly confident. He doesn't feel inferior to anyone.

Now, I'm not sure if any of this is actually to be admired. We (the parents) aren't fans of aiming to be friends with the rich and popular but it's how he's wired. That's another conversation.

I have two other kids who are very different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team sports people are cliquey by nature and they have to spend a lot of time together and have common schedules. No surprise there.

This

This is one of the reasons I am an opposed to admissions preference for recruited athletes. They add very little to the school. They mostly just hang out with each other

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isnt a race thing…

Like bc all things in life, people group off in “likes “ (likes congregate together). My private high school kid, knows he’s had a privileged education. And we are high net worth; close to 9 figures, we fly privately etc , he’s had some unusual experiences as an 18yo.

As an incoming freshman at an Ivy, I’m sure he’ll socialize with a wide mix of people….and will be most comfortable with whoever he can share all parts of his background, without discomfort.

Note, he’s not white.

.
He will find that yes, race will be a factor, even with all of your money. The rich white kids will not necessarily see him as a peer that your son can say in his head to "let me be gracious and expand my social circle beyond you fellow richies!" That is not going to happen.

He’s biracial (half white & half Asian). He’s been hanging with this prep school crowd in Nantucket, Aspen and Palm Beach for the past decade - sometimes hosting them all! He’ll be ok. Whatever happens.

As someone not born into this world, what is crazy is how these kids network /know who “knows you”, so insanely quickly. Happened with summer programs and now with college (before it’s even started).

Anyway, just my 2 cents.

Well if he survived a mom that speaks like this and constantly is bragging about the family HHI on nearly every thread she posts on, I’m sure he’ll be fine in college. Unless he takes after mom.

This is WAY more common than one poster here. I’m not in the DMV and in a similar demographic (and found out abt this board from another private school parent).

None of this stuff matters, if you aren’t in these circles to begin with.

And, why do we even care? Find your people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So called 'connections' is BS for the most part for normal middle class folks.

Exactly

If you come from LC/MC, what do you bring to the table that those rich white kids want to hang out with you? It is like a person who is fat, broke and lazy but yet wants to have a beautiful model girlfriend. The real world does not operate that way.

My DS, from a MC family, just finished his first-year at an Ivy school as a recruited athlete and this is what he told me: 1- Wealthy kids wanted to hang out with him because they want to be "cool"; 2- They can tag with him to cool parties and talk to pretty girls that they can't do that on their own; 3) My DS can play guitar and sing, so girls are naturally drawn to him (it also happened in HS), and those wealthy kids want to hang out with DS because they want to be like him. One of the wealthy kids, whose father is a CEO of a F500 company, flew him to Vail during winter break in a private jet to stay at his parents' vacation home for two weeks and gave him 10K spending money. He also promises DS that his mother will get DS an internship if DS is his friend during the next four years in college and beyond.

So you need a hook not just to get in these places, but also later to be part of the beneficial 'networking' environments people see there.

FWIW my kid goes to a lower tier private school and has classmates with the same sort of wealth and connected parents. Actually, you can see this at publics too. Lots of the MC athletes hang out with the fraternities (who are kids of donors and legacies and wealthy) etc. NONE of this dynamic is exclusive to Ivys.

Isn’t this true for all of life though? I see this at play now as a professional adult at nearly 50 - and it’s been a reality for my last 25 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So called 'connections' is BS for the most part for normal middle class folks.

Exactly

If you come from LC/MC, what do you bring to the table that those rich white kids want to hang out with you? It is like a person who is fat, broke and lazy but yet wants to have a beautiful model girlfriend. The real world does not operate that way.

My DS, from a MC family, just finished his first-year at an Ivy school as a recruited athlete and this is what he told me: 1- Wealthy kids wanted to hang out with him because they want to be "cool"; 2- They can tag with him to cool parties and talk to pretty girls that they can't do that on their own; 3) My DS can play guitar and sing, so girls are naturally drawn to him (it also happened in HS), and those wealthy kids want to hang out with DS because they want to be like him. One of the wealthy kids, whose father is a CEO of a F500 company, flew him to Vail during winter break in a private jet to stay at his parents' vacation home for two weeks and gave him 10K spending money. He also promises DS that his mother will get DS an internship if DS is his friend during the next four years in college and beyond.

So you need a hook not just to get in these places, but also later to be part of the beneficial 'networking' environments people see there.

FWIW my kid goes to a lower tier private school and has classmates with the same sort of wealth and connected parents. Actually, you can see this at publics too. Lots of the MC athletes hang out with the fraternities (who are kids of donors and legacies and wealthy) etc. NONE of this dynamic is exclusive to Ivys.

Reminds me of one of my floormates during college who stayed iron tight close to one guy in the school, because he wanted to be a doctor and the other friend was the Dean of Admissions at a certain top boarding school in Cambridge...
Let's just say they were best friends senior year, and the floormate was having dinner with the Dean's family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So called 'connections' is BS for the most part for normal middle class folks.

Exactly

If you come from LC/MC, what do you bring to the table that those rich white kids want to hang out with you? It is like a person who is fat, broke and lazy but yet wants to have a beautiful model girlfriend. The real world does not operate that way.

My DS, from a MC family, just finished his first-year at an Ivy school as a recruited athlete and this is what he told me: 1- Wealthy kids wanted to hang out with him because they want to be "cool"; 2- They can tag with him to cool parties and talk to pretty girls that they can't do that on their own; 3) My DS can play guitar and sing, so girls are naturally drawn to him (it also happened in HS), and those wealthy kids want to hang out with DS because they want to be like him. One of the wealthy kids, whose father is a CEO of a F500 company, flew him to Vail during winter break in a private jet to stay at his parents' vacation home for two weeks and gave him 10K spending money. He also promises DS that his mother will get DS an internship if DS is his friend during the next four years in college and beyond.

So you need a hook not just to get in these places, but also later to be part of the beneficial 'networking' environments people see there.

FWIW my kid goes to a lower tier private school and has classmates with the same sort of wealth and connected parents. Actually, you can see this at publics too. Lots of the MC athletes hang out with the fraternities (who are kids of donors and legacies and wealthy) etc. NONE of this dynamic is exclusive to Ivys.

Reminds me of one of my floormates during college who stayed iron tight close to one guy in the school, because he wanted to be a doctor and the other friend was the Dean of Admissions at a certain top boarding school in Cambridge...
Let's just say they were best friends senior year, and the floormate was having dinner with the Dean's family.

some how my brain got jumbled...I meant MEDICAL school in Cambridge

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So called 'connections' is BS for the most part for normal middle class folks.

Exactly

If you come from LC/MC, what do you bring to the table that those rich white kids want to hang out with you? It is like a person who is fat, broke and lazy but yet wants to have a beautiful model girlfriend. The real world does not operate that way.

My DS, from a MC family, just finished his first-year at an Ivy school as a recruited athlete and this is what he told me: 1- Wealthy kids wanted to hang out with him because they want to be "cool"; 2- They can tag with him to cool parties and talk to pretty girls that they can't do that on their own; 3) My DS can play guitar and sing, so girls are naturally drawn to him (it also happened in HS), and those wealthy kids want to hang out with DS because they want to be like him. One of the wealthy kids, whose father is a CEO of a F500 company, flew him to Vail during winter break in a private jet to stay at his parents' vacation home for two weeks and gave him 10K spending money. He also promises DS that his mother will get DS an internship if DS is his friend during the next four years in college and beyond.

So you need a hook not just to get in these places, but also later to be part of the beneficial 'networking' environments people see there.

FWIW my kid goes to a lower tier private school and has classmates with the same sort of wealth and connected parents. Actually, you can see this at publics too. Lots of the MC athletes hang out with the fraternities (who are kids of donors and legacies and wealthy) etc. NONE of this dynamic is exclusive to Ivys.

Yes, but you can make it "in" if you're exceptionally outgoing, good looking and charismatic.
My son's a senior at a top private high school and although we're upper middle class (at best), he moves seamlessly with the popular rung of the super rich. He's invited to Nantucket and Aspen and Europe with classmates. They adore him because he's super funny, deprecating, etc and I think most importantly---weirdly confident. He doesn't feel inferior to anyone.

Now, I'm not sure if any of this is actually to be admired. We (the parents) aren't fans of aiming to be friends with the rich and popular but it's how he's wired. That's another conversation.

I have two other kids who are very different.

Agree 💯 - I see this with my own kids. Some are just better at this than others.

Also agree w ppl who say this is life. Good to have your kids socialize and do ECs that involve lots of interpersonal interaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So called 'connections' is BS for the most part for normal middle class folks.

Exactly

If you come from LC/MC, what do you bring to the table that those rich white kids want to hang out with you? It is like a person who is fat, broke and lazy but yet wants to have a beautiful model girlfriend. The real world does not operate that way.

My DS, from a MC family, just finished his first-year at an Ivy school as a recruited athlete and this is what he told me: 1- Wealthy kids wanted to hang out with him because they want to be "cool"; 2- They can tag with him to cool parties and talk to pretty girls that they can't do that on their own; 3) My DS can play guitar and sing, so girls are naturally drawn to him (it also happened in HS), and those wealthy kids want to hang out with DS because they want to be like him. One of the wealthy kids, whose father is a CEO of a F500 company, flew him to Vail during winter break in a private jet to stay at his parents' vacation home for two weeks and gave him 10K spending money. He also promises DS that his mother will get DS an internship if DS is his friend during the next four years in college and beyond.

So you need a hook not just to get in these places, but also later to be part of the beneficial 'networking' environments people see there.

FWIW my kid goes to a lower tier private school and has classmates with the same sort of wealth and connected parents. Actually, you can see this at publics too. Lots of the MC athletes hang out with the fraternities (who are kids of donors and legacies and wealthy) etc. NONE of this dynamic is exclusive to Ivys.

Yes, but you can make it "in" if you're exceptionally outgoing, good looking and charismatic.
My son's a senior at a top private high school and although we're upper middle class (at best), he moves seamlessly with the popular rung of the super rich. He's invited to Nantucket and Aspen and Europe with classmates. They adore him because he's super funny, deprecating, etc and I think most importantly---weirdly confident. He doesn't feel inferior to anyone.

Now, I'm not sure if any of this is actually to be admired. We (the parents) aren't fans of aiming to be friends with the rich and popular but it's how he's wired. That's another conversation.

I have two other kids who are very different.

Agree 💯 - I see this with my own kids. Some are just better at this than others.

Also agree w ppl who say this is life. Good to have your kids socialize and do ECs that involve lots of interpersonal interaction.

It's just good looks. Young people care if you're hot. If you are, they'll do anything to appeal to you. Then apply this to jobs, and the rest of life...
If you aren't hot, get back to grunt work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So called 'connections' is BS for the most part for normal middle class folks.

Exactly

If you come from LC/MC, what do you bring to the table that those rich white kids want to hang out with you? It is like a person who is fat, broke and lazy but yet wants to have a beautiful model girlfriend. The real world does not operate that way.

My DS, from a MC family, just finished his first-year at an Ivy school as a recruited athlete and this is what he told me: 1- Wealthy kids wanted to hang out with him because they want to be "cool"; 2- They can tag with him to cool parties and talk to pretty girls that they can't do that on their own; 3) My DS can play guitar and sing, so girls are naturally drawn to him (it also happened in HS), and those wealthy kids want to hang out with DS because they want to be like him. One of the wealthy kids, whose father is a CEO of a F500 company, flew him to Vail during winter break in a private jet to stay at his parents' vacation home for two weeks and gave him 10K spending money. He also promises DS that his mother will get DS an internship if DS is his friend during the next four years in college and beyond.

So you need a hook not just to get in these places, but also later to be part of the beneficial 'networking' environments people see there.

FWIW my kid goes to a lower tier private school and has classmates with the same sort of wealth and connected parents. Actually, you can see this at publics too. Lots of the MC athletes hang out with the fraternities (who are kids of donors and legacies and wealthy) etc. NONE of this dynamic is exclusive to Ivys.

That's because even public schools are now pools of wealthy students. Colleges have gotten out of hand ever sense they have successfully gaslit people into believing that the median householdm income in the US is now "low income."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So called 'connections' is BS for the most part for normal middle class folks.

Exactly

If you come from LC/MC, what do you bring to the table that those rich white kids want to hang out with you? It is like a person who is fat, broke and lazy but yet wants to have a beautiful model girlfriend. The real world does not operate that way.

My DS, from a MC family, just finished his first-year at an Ivy school as a recruited athlete and this is what he told me: 1- Wealthy kids wanted to hang out with him because they want to be "cool"; 2- They can tag with him to cool parties and talk to pretty girls that they can't do that on their own; 3) My DS can play guitar and sing, so girls are naturally drawn to him (it also happened in HS), and those wealthy kids want to hang out with DS because they want to be like him. One of the wealthy kids, whose father is a CEO of a F500 company, flew him to Vail during winter break in a private jet to stay at his parents' vacation home for two weeks and gave him 10K spending money. He also promises DS that his mother will get DS an internship if DS is his friend during the next four years in college and beyond.

So you need a hook not just to get in these places, but also later to be part of the beneficial 'networking' environments people see there.

FWIW my kid goes to a lower tier private school and has classmates with the same sort of wealth and connected parents. Actually, you can see this at publics too. Lots of the MC athletes hang out with the fraternities (who are kids of donors and legacies and wealthy) etc. NONE of this dynamic is exclusive to Ivys.

Yes, but you can make it "in" if you're exceptionally outgoing, good looking and charismatic.
My son's a senior at a top private high school and although we're upper middle class (at best), he moves seamlessly with the popular rung of the super rich. He's invited to Nantucket and Aspen and Europe with classmates. They adore him because he's super funny, deprecating, etc and I think most importantly---weirdly confident. He doesn't feel inferior to anyone.

Now, I'm not sure if any of this is actually to be admired. We (the parents) aren't fans of aiming to be friends with the rich and popular but it's how he's wired. That's another conversation.

I have two other kids who are very different.

Agree 💯 - I see this with my own kids. Some are just better at this than others.

Also agree w ppl who say this is life. Good to have your kids socialize and do ECs that involve lots of interpersonal interaction.

It's just good looks. Young people care if you're hot. If you are, they'll do anything to appeal to you. Then apply this to jobs, and the rest of life...
If you aren't hot, get back to grunt work.

Most of “good looks” is about grooming, clothing choices and signifiers of wealth/class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So called 'connections' is BS for the most part for normal middle class folks.

Exactly

If you come from LC/MC, what do you bring to the table that those rich white kids want to hang out with you? It is like a person who is fat, broke and lazy but yet wants to have a beautiful model girlfriend. The real world does not operate that way.

My DS, from a MC family, just finished his first-year at an Ivy school as a recruited athlete and this is what he told me: 1- Wealthy kids wanted to hang out with him because they want to be "cool"; 2- They can tag with him to cool parties and talk to pretty girls that they can't do that on their own; 3) My DS can play guitar and sing, so girls are naturally drawn to him (it also happened in HS), and those wealthy kids want to hang out with DS because they want to be like him. One of the wealthy kids, whose father is a CEO of a F500 company, flew him to Vail during winter break in a private jet to stay at his parents' vacation home for two weeks and gave him 10K spending money. He also promises DS that his mother will get DS an internship if DS is his friend during the next four years in college and beyond.

So you need a hook not just to get in these places, but also later to be part of the beneficial 'networking' environments people see there.

FWIW my kid goes to a lower tier private school and has classmates with the same sort of wealth and connected parents. Actually, you can see this at publics too. Lots of the MC athletes hang out with the fraternities (who are kids of donors and legacies and wealthy) etc. NONE of this dynamic is exclusive to Ivys.

Yes, but you can make it "in" if you're exceptionally outgoing, good looking and charismatic.
My son's a senior at a top private high school and although we're upper middle class (at best), he moves seamlessly with the popular rung of the super rich. He's invited to Nantucket and Aspen and Europe with classmates. They adore him because he's super funny, deprecating, etc and I think most importantly---weirdly confident. He doesn't feel inferior to anyone.

Now, I'm not sure if any of this is actually to be admired. We (the parents) aren't fans of aiming to be friends with the rich and popular but it's how he's wired. That's another conversation.

I have two other kids who are very different.

Agree 💯 - I see this with my own kids. Some are just better at this than others.

Also agree w ppl who say this is life. Good to have your kids socialize and do ECs that involve lots of interpersonal interaction.

It's just good looks. Young people care if you're hot. If you are, they'll do anything to appeal to you. Then apply this to jobs, and the rest of life...
If you aren't hot, get back to grunt work.

Most of “good looks” is about grooming, clothing choices and signifiers of wealth/class.

Yes, tell your kid that. Not everyone can be hot.

[Anonymous]

The hack to getting into rich friend groups is being a graduate of Groton or Exeter. Otherwise, you'll just need to be like the rest of us (how awful, I know)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The hack to getting into rich friend groups is being a graduate of Groton or Exeter. Otherwise, you'll just need to be like the rest of us (how awful, I know)

Agree.
Yes, there’s definite tiering to college friend groups.

Your first tier is top boarding schools.
Tier down is certain other private/prep schools (along with the kids of CEO /hedge fund/PE/banker parents bc kids want jobs)
Further down is public high school but full pay
Below that is financial aid kids of any amount.
Bottom is FGLI/questbridge etc.

Read about real experiences on Reddit if you doubt it.

One of the most popular icebreakers for new student orientation/dorms is “where do you summer” or where did you vacation post-graduation. Followed by country club geography.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So called 'connections' is BS for the most part for normal middle class folks.

Exactly

If you come from LC/MC, what do you bring to the table that those rich white kids want to hang out with you? It is like a person who is fat, broke and lazy but yet wants to have a beautiful model girlfriend. The real world does not operate that way.

My DS, from a MC family, just finished his first-year at an Ivy school as a recruited athlete and this is what he told me: 1- Wealthy kids wanted to hang out with him because they want to be "cool"; 2- They can tag with him to cool parties and talk to pretty girls that they can't do that on their own; 3) My DS can play guitar and sing, so girls are naturally drawn to him (it also happened in HS), and those wealthy kids want to hang out with DS because they want to be like him. One of the wealthy kids, whose father is a CEO of a F500 company, flew him to Vail during winter break in a private jet to stay at his parents' vacation home for two weeks and gave him 10K spending money. He also promises DS that his mother will get DS an internship if DS is his friend during the next four years in college and beyond.

So you need a hook not just to get in these places, but also later to be part of the beneficial 'networking' environments people see there.

FWIW my kid goes to a lower tier private school and has classmates with the same sort of wealth and connected parents. Actually, you can see this at publics too. Lots of the MC athletes hang out with the fraternities (who are kids of donors and legacies and wealthy) etc. NONE of this dynamic is exclusive to Ivys.

Yes, but you can make it "in" if you're exceptionally outgoing, good looking and charismatic.
My son's a senior at a top private high school and although we're upper middle class (at best), he moves seamlessly with the popular rung of the super rich. He's invited to Nantucket and Aspen and Europe with classmates. They adore him because he's super funny, deprecating, etc and I think most importantly---weirdly confident. He doesn't feel inferior to anyone.

Now, I'm not sure if any of this is actually to be admired. We (the parents) aren't fans of aiming to be friends with the rich and popular but it's how he's wired. That's another conversation.

I have two other kids who are very different.

Agree 💯 - I see this with my own kids. Some are just better at this than others.

Also agree w ppl who say this is life. Good to have your kids socialize and do ECs that involve lots of interpersonal interaction.

It's just good looks. Young people care if you're hot. If you are, they'll do anything to appeal to you. Then apply this to jobs, and the rest of life...
If you aren't hot, get back to grunt work.

Most of “good looks” is about grooming, clothing choices and signifiers of wealth/class.

Yes, tell your kid that. Not everyone can be hot.

Being “hot” is a LMC mentality. That’s not right.

It’s 100% about grooming/ presentation/ having the right clothes, shoes, bags, grooming (haircut, skincare, nails, makeup) for girls. Also, clothes matter for boys too; cars as well.

Or having your parents being able to host your group of friends for spring break at your place at Albany Club or Lyford Cay. Obviously that helps too. But your guests would need the “right” clothes.