Rich white kids at Ivies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it's weird and naive to think all the kids are just hanging out together.

there has always been a super strata of rich kids who dont mix with others. your kids - kids of law firm partners - are not in that group. sorry.

no need to apologize! hard to believe i know but some of us don’t admire the super strata of rich people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's a lot of data to support some hypothesis. Perhaps submit it as a dissertation.

lol. For realz.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it's weird and naive to think all the kids are just hanging out together.

there has always been a super strata of rich kids who dont mix with others. your kids - kids of law firm partners - are not in that group. sorry.

Not the case with my kids in close-in VA. My kid is the only Caucasian on his club team and many scholarship kids. These are good friends. He had friends that were foster kids—as well as law partner kids. There also were many friends from the public housing. Our public elementary is like the sane stratification 1/4 poor- 2/3 umc/wealthy

[Anonymous]

Name the school because the DMV is one of the most socially stratified places in the US

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

[b wrote:Anonymous]Who cares
Get a lifec

[/b]


OP is trolling for something. I went to Harvard and was not wealthy. To this day I don't know who in my class was wealthy. It's not like "Love Story". If you want to be bitter like OP, for some strange reason, go ahead. But be aware how you are feeding into someone's inexperienced stereotypes

So you probably went in the 80s or 90s. Things are different now. The rich kids today really do stick together. At quite a few schools, its not a shared experience anymore. It's a shame. Smart kids really need to choose their colleges carefully these days.

False. My kids are there now. They have no clue who is wealthy. Students ARE careful not to be flashy. OP is basing this entire thread on what she thinks three private school kids said to her DS. Talk about stirring the pot and you all fell for it!

X1000 this whole thread is filled with stereotypes that do not represent current ivy/elite schools

And at this point, and certainly going forward with the elimination of legacy admissions, how many rich white kids will there really be? I was on an Ivy campus last week and it was very diverse. Even the white kids didn't look like the New England preps of the old days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Name the school because the DMV is one of the most socially stratified places in the US

There are no Ivies in the DMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it's weird and naive to think all the kids are just hanging out together.

there has always been a super strata of rich kids who dont mix with others. your kids - kids of law firm partners - are not in that group. sorry.

no need to apologize! hard to believe i know but some of us don’t admire the super strata of rich people

Not the point. The point is these “my kids mix with the FA kids” is just dumb and provincial. There are rich kids who are not hanging w your kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Name the school because the DMV is one of the most socially stratified places in the US

There are no Ivies in the DMV.

Can you read? The poster stated “close-in VA,” referring to their child’s HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

[b wrote:Anonymous]Who cares
Get a lifec

[/b]


OP is trolling for something. I went to Harvard and was not wealthy. To this day I don't know who in my class was wealthy. It's not like "Love Story". If you want to be bitter like OP, for some strange reason, go ahead. But be aware how you are feeding into someone's inexperienced stereotypes

So you probably went in the 80s or 90s. Things are different now. The rich kids today really do stick together. At quite a few schools, its not a shared experience anymore. It's a shame. Smart kids really need to choose their colleges carefully these days.

Which schools do you recommend? Seriously asking. My DC is doing well and if things are this dire at our nation's best schools, what are better schools to aim for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS just saw some friends from HS who go to Princeton, Duke and Dartmouth. He reports that all three (boys) say that the only people they hang with are either legacies or athletes.

All three are legacies.

I don’t find this at all surprising as kids from similar backgrounds tend to hang together but it’s also so disappointing and telling about those schools.

FWIW, my son goes to a big public and yes, his friends are mostly white but not mostly legacies or athletes.

I’m a teacher, and guess what I’ve noticed after all these years??? Kids tend to group with those they have things in common with. Indian kids always sit together and group together. Even when I’ve noticed other kids try to invite them to sit with them, etc. My point is, who cares? Why are you focused on white people of a particular background. Really way more telling of you than them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:
So called 'connections' is BS for the most part for normal middle class folks.

Exactly

If you come from LC/MC, what do you bring to the table that those rich white kids want to hang out with you? It is like a person who is fat, broke and lazy but yet wants to have a beautiful model girlfriend. The real world does not operate that way.

My DS, from a MC family, just finished his first-year at an Ivy school as a recruited athlete and this is what he told me: 1- Wealthy kids wanted to hang out with him because they want to be "cool"; 2- They can tag with him to cool parties and talk to pretty girls that they can't do that on their own; 3) My DS can play guitar and sing, so girls are naturally drawn to him (it also happened in HS), and those wealthy kids want to hang out with DS because they want to be like him. One of the wealthy kids, whose father is a CEO of a F500 company, flew him to Vail during winter break in a private jet to stay at his parents' vacation home for two weeks and gave him 10K spending money. He also promises DS that his mother will get DS an internship if DS is his friend during the next four years in college and beyond.

So you need a hook not just to get in these places, but also later to be part of the beneficial 'networking' environments people see there.

FWIW my kid goes to a lower tier private school and has classmates with the same sort of wealth and connected parents. Actually, you can see this at publics too. Lots of the MC athletes hang out with the fraternities (who are kids of donors and legacies and wealthy) etc. NONE of this dynamic is exclusive to Ivys.

Yes, but you can make it "in" if you're exceptionally outgoing, good looking and charismatic.
My son's a senior at a top private high school and although we're upper middle class (at best), he moves seamlessly with the popular rung of the super rich. He's invited to Nantucket and Aspen and Europe with classmates. They adore him because he's super funny, deprecating, etc and I think most importantly---weirdly confident. He doesn't feel inferior to anyone.

Now, I'm not sure if any of this is actually to be admired. We (the parents) aren't fans of aiming to be friends with the rich and popular but it's how he's wired. That's another conversation.

I have two other kids who are very different.

Agree 💯 - I see this with my own kids. Some are just better at this than others.

Also agree w ppl who say this is life. Good to have your kids socialize and do ECs that involve lots of interpersonal interaction.

It's just good looks. Young people care if you're hot. If you are, they'll do anything to appeal to you. Then apply this to jobs, and the rest of life...
If you aren't hot, get back to grunt work.

Most of “good looks” is about grooming, clothing choices and signifiers of wealth/class.

Yes, tell your kid that. Not everyone can be hot.

Being “hot” is a LMC mentality. That’s not right.

It’s 100% about grooming/ presentation/ having the right clothes, shoes, bags, grooming (haircut, skincare, nails, makeup) for girls. Also, clothes matter for boys too; cars as well.

Or having your parents being able to host your group of friends for spring break at your place at Albany Club or Lyford Cay. Obviously that helps too. But your guests would need the “right” clothes.

I know you mean well, but rich kids at NYU dress like homeless people who just woke up from their third overdose of the week. Being hot is a physical thing, secondary to status. Your not magically hot for wearing the right clothes.

lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

[b wrote:Anonymous]Who cares
Get a lifec

[/b]


OP is trolling for something. I went to Harvard and was not wealthy. To this day I don't know who in my class was wealthy. It's not like "Love Story". If you want to be bitter like OP, for some strange reason, go ahead. But be aware how you are feeding into someone's inexperienced stereotypes

So you probably went in the 80s or 90s. Things are different now. The rich kids today really do stick together. At quite a few schools, its not a shared experience anymore. It's a shame. Smart kids really need to choose their colleges carefully these days.

Which schools do you recommend? Seriously asking. My DC is doing well and if things are this dire at our nation's best schools, what are better schools to aim for?

For good vibes for smart kids among all income levels - Notre Dame, Rice, MIT, Carleton, West Point, Annapolis, St. John's, McGill

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most top colleges are like this. The richest students, across incomes, hang out with one another. The athletes, usually white outside of mainstream sports, hang out with one another. The Middle Class figure it out. The fgli hang out with the fgli.

Yup. This is why I roll my eyes when posters here think that going to a top school is going to open the world of the top .01%.

The super rich only hang out with each other.

Source: middle class person who went to a top Ivy.

Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg and Larry Page say hello!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

[b wrote:Anonymous]Who cares
Get a lifec

[/b]


OP is trolling for something. I went to Harvard and was not wealthy. To this day I don't know who in my class was wealthy. It's not like "Love Story". If you want to be bitter like OP, for some strange reason, go ahead. But be aware how you are feeding into someone's inexperienced stereotypes

So you probably went in the 80s or 90s. Things are different now. The rich kids today really do stick together. At quite a few schools, its not a shared experience anymore. It's a shame. Smart kids really need to choose their colleges carefully these days.

False. My kids are there now. They have no clue who is wealthy. Students ARE careful not to be flashy. OP is basing this entire thread on what she thinks three private school kids said to her DS. Talk about stirring the pot and you all fell for it!

X1000 this whole thread is filled with stereotypes that do not represent current ivy/elite schools

And at this point, and certainly going forward with the elimination of legacy admissions, how many rich white kids will there really be? I was on an Ivy campus last week and it was very diverse. Even the white kids didn't look like the New England preps of the old days.

Agree, though there are plenty of rich white non-legacies to choose from. My white kids who are not legacies but are brilliant and are rich are at two different ivies, not from New England prep either. Their white friends at theirs or different ivies are not legacies either. Legacies are already much more rare at these schools. They do have hispanic and asian legacy friends. We make 600k household though we are quiet about it and do not have a second home or fancy cars, and are easily full pay. Sure there are some uber rich whites at ivies who are flashy about it but that is not common. There are also rich asians, poor whites, rich africans ...on and on. Racial diversity and socioeconomic diversity is about as maxed as it can be at these schools, now that SFFA case is done. The Ivies all brag about over half on financial aid: some are truly poor with parents paying $0, and others upper middle class making 200k who manage to get a little need-based aid. The ivies also brag about over 50% non-white. These schools are at their goals of racial and SES diversity and got there in the last 3-4 cycles. They will easily be able to stay there. There is not only a complete lack of white-rich-majority at these schools, there is neither a white nor a rich majority taken separately! Anyone who has kids at ivies currently understands this empirically from being on campus at move-in, family weekends, poster sessions etc.

TL;DR: Any parent who is looking at ivies, do not fall for the drama of these posts! ALL kinds are at ivies; the common denominator is smart, ambitious, and able to juggle a lot of things. That kid from any background will fit well in at ivies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

[b wrote:Anonymous]Who cares
Get a lifec

[/b]


OP is trolling for something. I went to Harvard and was not wealthy. To this day I don't know who in my class was wealthy. It's not like "Love Story". If you want to be bitter like OP, for some strange reason, go ahead. But be aware how you are feeding into someone's inexperienced stereotypes

So you probably went in the 80s or 90s. Things are different now. The rich kids today really do stick together. At quite a few schools, its not a shared experience anymore. It's a shame. Smart kids really need to choose their colleges carefully these days.

Which schools do you recommend? Seriously asking. My DC is doing well and if things are this dire at our nation's best schools, what are better schools to aim for?

Ivies or other Top10 privates! Things are not "dire" at ivies or any of these schools. There is amazing diversity, and the education is world class, with the combination of brilliant faculty & a high percent of "genius"/top1% peers. Some of these posters must be trying to get folks to not apply to help their own kids chances