are "racist text message acceptable now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting that so many people are worried about statements being recorded or possible college admissions blow back. How about just raising a decent human being who conducts themselves with integrity and treats people with respect - like most of our parents taught us?

They don't care that they are racists, they only care that people knowing they are racist will negatively affect their lives. Hence these parents think it's fine to say all this stuff, just don't post it on twitter or your college might see and rescind your admission. Keep that racism on the DL!

Yes, once someone voices a thought outside of the bounds that you have determined, they should be cancelled. College admissions and job offers rescinded, publicly shamed and shunned,

What a world you want to live in...

Look, we aren't talking about Galileo here. Your talking about other races. Stay in you neighborhood where this sort of thing seems acceptable.

All races talk shit about other races. Get real.

Not they don’t!! HATE HAS NO HOME HERE! Nor do people that aren’t white…

If you honestly think that you have no legit friends of other races.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe, but its more that at 14/15/16, everything is a joke. Or, maybe everything is an opportunity to get a laugh from your friends.

It's no different from when we were kids.

We live in a very diverse area of MoCo, and its the same across all the kids of that age. It's all racial jokes. And I think its totally fine. It's a way to give themselves power over all of it, and tbh, a way to show they are above. If you're white, and you're hispanic friend makes a lame joke about how bad you are dancing, and you make a joke about their parents being illegals, it demonstrates how they are above the fray.

Now, if it just a bunch of white kids using the n-word, that's different. But context really does matter. Especially at this age

I do not agree at all and I do NOT think "its totally fine." Joking that someone is a bad dancer is NOT the same as joking that their parents are illegals. Joking that their parents are illegals (whether true or not) is NOT something to joke about and is a form of racial microaggression. Microaggression is rampant and sadly most people don't even realize they are doing it. Microaggression is a way to "give themselves power" as you say above.

Well, I guess we can agree to disagree. These kids are the best of friends.

When the Korean kid gets a text from his mom and says "I gotta go home for dinner" and the AA kid says "oh what's for dinner tonight? Dog?". Its totally fine.

Its these kids taking ownership of the racial stereotypes and taking away the hate from them. These boys are truly the best of friends and this is how they interact.

It's not a microaggression. It's not the AA kid taking the power from the Korean kid. Or the white kid taking the power from the hispanic kid. It's them, as a group, taking the power back together.

It's a good thing, imo. These kids love each other despite the adults always telling them how different they are from each other

As a black girl in my teens I lived in a majority white area and experienced a lot of what you describe. I also loved my friends and don’t believe my friends were racist. However, problematic things were said. Some I laughed off although they made me uncomfortable at the time. Others I did not realize how/why they were problematic until I was older and knew more.

I say this to suggest to you that although your son’s friendships may be exactly as you describe, they may not. The “jokes” may not feel the same to his friends. Don’t assume you have all the answers, especially with respect to his friends that may be experiencing life differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting that so many people are worried about statements being recorded or possible college admissions blow back. How about just raising a decent human being who conducts themselves with integrity and treats people with respect - like most of our parents taught us?

They don't care that they are racists, they only care that people knowing they are racist will negatively affect their lives. Hence these parents think it's fine to say all this stuff, just don't post it on twitter or your college might see and rescind your admission. Keep that racism on the DL!

This is so stupid.

Most regular people disagree with your premise. Joking about race, even in a “offensive” way, doesn’t constitute “racism.” Deal with it.

At the same time, we’re also pragmatic and care about the welfare of our kids, so we don’t want them subjected to this Scarlet Letter BS (typically at the hands of some middle-aged white lady or a “DEI professional”); so yes, they should learn to keep certain comments private.

[Anonymous]

Most regular people disagree with your premise. Joking about race, even in a “offensive” way, doesn’t constitute “racism.” Deal with it.

"Regular people" aka people who are ok with racist comments. Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

you mean in my non lilly white racially diverse neighborhood where teens all get along and mess with each other and don’t care to have someone policing their every word? Ok, I will!

Name the neighborhood or I call BS.

I won’t name the neighborhood, but it’s one of the ones zoned for Blair. My white kids are a minority in many of their classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Most regular people disagree with your premise. Joking about race, even in a “offensive” way, doesn’t constitute “racism.” Deal with it.

"Regular people" aka people who are ok with racist comments. Got it.

DP
Regular people = those of us who don’t have sticks up out a$$ and can find the humor is most situations where there is no ill intent. I mean keep calling us racists if it makes you feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting that so many people are worried about statements being recorded or possible college admissions blow back. How about just raising a decent human being who conducts themselves with integrity and treats people with respect - like most of our parents taught us?

They don't care that they are racists, they only care that people knowing they are racist will negatively affect their lives. Hence these parents think it's fine to say all this stuff, just don't post it on twitter or your college might see and rescind your admission. Keep that racism on the DL!

This is so stupid.

Most regular people disagree with your premise. Joking about race, even in a “offensive” way, doesn’t constitute “racism.” Deal with it.

At the same time, we’re also pragmatic and care about the welfare of our kids, so we don’t want them subjected to this Scarlet Letter BS (typically at the hands of some middle-aged white lady or a “DEI professional”); so yes, they should learn to keep certain comments private.

I reject your premise. People who are fine with racist jokes don't find it offensive, you're right. Racists don't care about other people being racist - shocking development!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting that so many people are worried about statements being recorded or possible college admissions blow back. How about just raising a decent human being who conducts themselves with integrity and treats people with respect - like most of our parents taught us?

They don't care that they are racists, they only care that people knowing they are racist will negatively affect their lives. Hence these parents think it's fine to say all this stuff, just don't post it on twitter or your college might see and rescind your admission. Keep that racism on the DL!

Yes, once someone voices a thought outside of the bounds that you have determined, they should be cancelled. College admissions and job offers rescinded, publicly shamed and shunned,

What a world you want to live in...

Look, we aren't talking about Galileo here. Your talking about other races. Stay in you neighborhood where this sort of thing seems acceptable.

NP - you mean in my non lilly white racially diverse neighborhood where teens all get along and mess with each other and don’t care to have someone policing their every word? Ok, I will!

Having Asians and the random African American is not really diverse but you tell yourself what ever you want
- Asian

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just make sure your kid knows that it’s not ok to make dog-eating jokes to Asians other than his “best friend.” A lot of us don’t think that’s funny. And the fact that he has an Asian best friend doesn’t give him a pass.

Well sure, knowing that you can't joke with strangers the same way you joke with your best friends is a good lesson.

And the fact that his best friend doesnt mind absolutely does give him a pass to joke with that specific best friend. That's the whole point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting that so many people are worried about statements being recorded or possible college admissions blow back. How about just raising a decent human being who conducts themselves with integrity and treats people with respect - like most of our parents taught us?

Because jokes made in private are not an indictment of an individual. Nor even are occasional insults or offensive language.

+100.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting that so many people are worried about statements being recorded or possible college admissions blow back. How about just raising a decent human being who conducts themselves with integrity and treats people with respect - like most of our parents taught us?

They don't care that they are racists, they only care that people knowing they are racist will negatively affect their lives. Hence these parents think it's fine to say all this stuff, just don't post it on twitter or your college might see and rescind your admission. Keep that racism on the DL!

Yes, once someone voices a thought outside of the bounds that you have determined, they should be cancelled. College admissions and job offers rescinded, publicly shamed and shunned,

What a world you want to live in...

Look, we aren't talking about Galileo here. Your talking about other races. Stay in you neighborhood where this sort of thing seems acceptable.

NP - you mean in my non lilly white racially diverse neighborhood where teens all get along and mess with each other and don’t care to have someone policing their every word? Ok, I will!

That's the thing these people are missing. Usually the kids ragging on each other about racial stereotypes have the most diverse group of friends. This is the world that you fought for people, a world where the black kid can call the Korean kid 'Short Round' and every gets a laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

you mean in my non lilly white racially diverse neighborhood where teens all get along and mess with each other and don’t care to have someone policing their every word? Ok, I will!

Name the neighborhood or I call BS.

I'm a white Dad that lives in Montgomery Village and my white son (the one who I posted earlier with a diverse group of friends) goes to Gaithersburg HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just make sure your kid knows that it’s not ok to make dog-eating jokes to Asians other than his “best friend.” A lot of us don’t think that’s funny. And the fact that he has an Asian best friend doesn’t give him a pass.

Well sure, knowing that you can't joke with strangers the same way you joke with your best friends is a good lesson.

And the fact that his best friend doesnt mind absolutely does give him a pass to joke with that specific best friend. That's the whole point.

Give it time. He'll feel something about it when he's older. Odds are they won't be friends forever. I let stuff slide when I was younger that I realized I really didn't like, but what can you do when you are a kid and your friend starts talking like that because you have to prove you are the low maintenance minority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe, but its more that at 14/15/16, everything is a joke. Or, maybe everything is an opportunity to get a laugh from your friends.

It's no different from when we were kids.

We live in a very diverse area of MoCo, and its the same across all the kids of that age. It's all racial jokes. And I think its totally fine. It's a way to give themselves power over all of it, and tbh, a way to show they are above. If you're white, and you're hispanic friend makes a lame joke about how bad you are dancing, and you make a joke about their parents being illegals, it demonstrates how they are above the fray.

Now, if it just a bunch of white kids using the n-word, that's different. But context really does matter. Especially at this age

I do not agree at all and I do NOT think "its totally fine." Joking that someone is a bad dancer is NOT the same as joking that their parents are illegals. Joking that their parents are illegals (whether true or not) is NOT something to joke about and is a form of racial microaggression. Microaggression is rampant and sadly most people don't even realize they are doing it. Microaggression is a way to "give themselves power" as you say above.

Well, I guess we can agree to disagree. These kids are the best of friends.

When the Korean kid gets a text from his mom and says "I gotta go home for dinner" and the AA kid says "oh what's for dinner tonight? Dog?". Its totally fine.

Its these kids taking ownership of the racial stereotypes and taking away the hate from them. These boys are truly the best of friends and this is how they interact.

It's not a microaggression. It's not the AA kid taking the power from the Korean kid. Or the white kid taking the power from the hispanic kid. It's them, as a group, taking the power back together.

It's a good thing, imo. These kids love each other despite the adults always telling them how different they are from each other

As a black girl in my teens I lived in a majority white area and experienced a lot of what you describe. I also loved my friends and don’t believe my friends were racist. However, problematic things were said. Some I laughed off although they made me uncomfortable at the time. Others I did not realize how/why they were problematic until I was older and knew more.

I say this to suggest to you that although your son’s friendships may be exactly as you describe, they may not. The “jokes” may not feel the same to his friends. Don’t assume you have all the answers, especially with respect to his friends that may be experiencing life differently.

I 100% believe you; I do.

But I didn't say its the one asian kid getting picked on, or the one AA kid getting the brunt of the jokes. In our neighbhorhood, there really is no majority race.

It's way different if you're the one AA teen and your friend group is 9 other white kids. But when its 2 Hispanics, 1 asian, 1 caucasian, and 2 AA kids, and they ALL rag on each other. Often initiated by the historically marginalized kids, you don't just roll with it, you celebrate it.

These kids are living in the post-racial dream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe, but its more that at 14/15/16, everything is a joke. Or, maybe everything is an opportunity to get a laugh from your friends.

It's no different from when we were kids.

We live in a very diverse area of MoCo, and its the same across all the kids of that age. It's all racial jokes. And I think its totally fine. It's a way to give themselves power over all of it, and tbh, a way to show they are above. If you're white, and you're hispanic friend makes a lame joke about how bad you are dancing, and you make a joke about their parents being illegals, it demonstrates how they are above the fray.

Now, if it just a bunch of white kids using the n-word, that's different. But context really does matter. Especially at this age

I do not agree at all and I do NOT think "its totally fine." Joking that someone is a bad dancer is NOT the same as joking that their parents are illegals. Joking that their parents are illegals (whether true or not) is NOT something to joke about and is a form of racial microaggression. Microaggression is rampant and sadly most people don't even realize they are doing it. Microaggression is a way to "give themselves power" as you say above.

Well, I guess we can agree to disagree. These kids are the best of friends.

When the Korean kid gets a text from his mom and says "I gotta go home for dinner" and the AA kid says "oh what's for dinner tonight? Dog?". Its totally fine.

Its these kids taking ownership of the racial stereotypes and taking away the hate from them. These boys are truly the best of friends and this is how they interact.

It's not a microaggression. It's not the AA kid taking the power from the Korean kid. Or the white kid taking the power from the hispanic kid. It's them, as a group, taking the power back together.

It's a good thing, imo. These kids love each other despite the adults always telling them how different they are from each other

As a black girl in my teens I lived in a majority white area and experienced a lot of what you describe. I also loved my friends and don’t believe my friends were racist. However, problematic things were said. Some I laughed off although they made me uncomfortable at the time. Others I did not realize how/why they were problematic until I was older and knew more.

I say this to suggest to you that although your son’s friendships may be exactly as you describe, they may not. The “jokes” may not feel the same to his friends. Don’t assume you have all the answers, especially with respect to his friends that may be experiencing life differently.

I 100% believe you; I do.

But I didn't say its the one asian kid getting picked on, or the one AA kid getting the brunt of the jokes. In our neighbhorhood, there really is no majority race.

It's way different if you're the one AA teen and your friend group is 9 other white kids. But when its 2 Hispanics, 1 asian, 1 caucasian, and 2 AA kids, and they ALL rag on each other. Often initiated by the historically marginalized kids, you don't just roll with it, you celebrate it.

These kids are living in the post-racial dream.

And it's offensive to middle aged white ladies.