are "racist text message acceptable now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe, but its more that at 14/15/16, everything is a joke. Or, maybe everything is an opportunity to get a laugh from your friends.

It's no different from when we were kids.

We live in a very diverse area of MoCo, and its the same across all the kids of that age. It's all racial jokes. And I think its totally fine. It's a way to give themselves power over all of it, and tbh, a way to show they are above. If you're white, and you're hispanic friend makes a lame joke about how bad you are dancing, and you make a joke about their parents being illegals, it demonstrates how they are above the fray.

Now, if it just a bunch of white kids using the n-word, that's different. But context really does matter. Especially at this age

I do not agree at all and I do NOT think "its totally fine." Joking that someone is a bad dancer is NOT the same as joking that their parents are illegals. Joking that their parents are illegals (whether true or not) is NOT something to joke about and is a form of racial microaggression. Microaggression is rampant and sadly most people don't even realize they are doing it. Microaggression is a way to "give themselves power" as you say above.

Well, I guess we can agree to disagree. These kids are the best of friends.

When the Korean kid gets a text from his mom and says "I gotta go home for dinner" and the AA kid says "oh what's for dinner tonight? Dog?". Its totally fine.

Its these kids taking ownership of the racial stereotypes and taking away the hate from them. These boys are truly the best of friends and this is how they interact.

It's not a microaggression. It's not the AA kid taking the power from the Korean kid. Or the white kid taking the power from the hispanic kid. It's them, as a group, taking the power back together.

It's a good thing, imo. These kids love each other despite the adults always telling them how different they are from each other

+1

My best friend is Indian. We travel together a lot. One time we were somewhere where there were tons of Indians and I said “oh they must be all your cousins.” She couldn’t stop laughing. She says stuff like that all the time. She makes fun of me too.

This is life people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think todays kids are fighting back about the policing of language and calling everyone a racist.
What did they specifically say? Was it actually something racist or just a generalization about a specific race? There is a difference.

That's some fantasy you have. No, that's not happening.

Also, your distinction is pretty weird. Repeating stereotypes about race is, in fact, a racist mindset. In infer from your comment you think it's acceptable.

But, no, teens are not "fighting back about the policing of language." And, no, people aren't "calling everyone a racist." If you feel like you're being called a racist a lot, that's just a you thing. And it's likely you are, in fact, a racist, especially since you seem to believe repeating stereotypes or generalizations about race is acceptable.

It is absolutely happening in the Blair cluster. Where it is very diverse. It’s probably not happening in the non diverse schools, with all their virtue signaling.

it's happening on TikTok as well. TikTok is also very diverse. kids (boys especially) are more relaxed about this, while parents i.e. mothers, are the pearl clutchers of yore. we wonder how our parents could be so uptight about some topics, yet we are the same.

[Anonymous]

If you have to start a sentence “I am not a racist but” then you shouldn’t finish the sentence.

[Anonymous]

No teenagers are not following your script at all times. They will sometimes joke around with friends and say things that get close to the line or even cross the line. I agree with PP that at that age everything is a joke. A lot of it depends on context and the nature of the relationship, none of which is information the OP probably has.

We are not meant to be seeing everything they're saying and doing but of course with this generation, we can see so much more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have to start a sentence “I am not a racist but” then you shouldn’t finish the sentence.

right. the thing about teens today is that a lot of them don't care if you call them racist. it's just doesn't sound so devastating to them as it does to us. they won't be parading around their black friend (which they typically have in much more significant numbers) trying to plead their case; instead, they will just shrug it off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have to start a sentence “I am not a racist but” then you shouldn’t finish the sentence.

What if the intent is to not come off as racist or mean something to be racist if taken out of context, but their following statement is logical and and/or factual?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have to start a sentence “I am not a racist but” then you shouldn’t finish the sentence.

What if the intent is to not come off as racist or mean something to be racist if taken out of context, but their following statement is logical and and/or factual?

You’ll get called a racist no matter what you say. Just roll with it.

[Anonymous]

I monitor my kids text threads and recently saw some stuff that I felt was iffy. I printed a number of articles about kids who lost opportunities because of inappropriate texts and also on the impact text, even "joking" ones have on others, and made them read them all. I don't know how to navigate this world either but I want them to understand that their written words, in any context, have meaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe, but its more that at 14/15/16, everything is a joke. Or, maybe everything is an opportunity to get a laugh from your friends.

It's no different from when we were kids.

We live in a very diverse area of MoCo, and its the same across all the kids of that age. It's all racial jokes. And I think its totally fine. It's a way to give themselves power over all of it, and tbh, a way to show they are above. If you're white, and you're hispanic friend makes a lame joke about how bad you are dancing, and you make a joke about their parents being illegals, it demonstrates how they are above the fray.

Now, if it just a bunch of white kids using the n-word, that's different. But context really does matter. Especially at this age

I do not agree at all and I do NOT think "its totally fine." Joking that someone is a bad dancer is NOT the same as joking that their parents are illegals. Joking that their parents are illegals (whether true or not) is NOT something to joke about and is a form of racial microaggression. Microaggression is rampant and sadly most people don't even realize they are doing it. Microaggression is a way to "give themselves power" as you say above.

Well, I guess we can agree to disagree. These kids are the best of friends.

When the Korean kid gets a text from his mom and says "I gotta go home for dinner" and the AA kid says "oh what's for dinner tonight? Dog?". Its totally fine.

Its these kids taking ownership of the racial stereotypes and taking away the hate from them. These boys are truly the best of friends and this is how they interact.

It's not a microaggression. It's not the AA kid taking the power from the Korean kid. Or the white kid taking the power from the hispanic kid. It's them, as a group, taking the power back together.

It's a good thing, imo. These kids love each other despite the adults always telling them how different they are from each other

+1

My best friend is Indian. We travel together a lot. One time we were somewhere where there were tons of Indians and I said “oh they must be all your cousins.” She couldn’t stop laughing. She says stuff like that all the time. She makes fun of me too.

This is life people.

And what type of similar comments has she made to you?? Just because she says it is ok, doesn’t mean it is ok. I want to hear from a minority person that they are ok receiving these comments. I do not care to hear from someone that they are ok dishing out these comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Well, I guess we can agree to disagree. These kids are the best of friends.

When the Korean kid gets a text from his mom and says "I gotta go home for dinner" and the AA kid says "oh what's for dinner tonight? Dog?". Its totally fine.

Its these kids taking ownership of the racial stereotypes and taking away the hate from them. These boys are truly the best of friends and this is how they interact.

It's not a microaggression. It's not the AA kid taking the power from the Korean kid. Or the white kid taking the power from the hispanic kid. It's them, as a group, taking the power back together.

It's a good thing, imo. These kids love each other despite the adults always telling them how different they are from each other

Are you Korean? This happened to my kid, and they were upset. They might be joking, but intention is different from impact. I don't think this is okay. And it wouldn't be okay for the Korean kid to say something racist to the AA kid either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe, but its more that at 14/15/16, everything is a joke. Or, maybe everything is an opportunity to get a laugh from your friends.

It's no different from when we were kids.

We live in a very diverse area of MoCo, and its the same across all the kids of that age. It's all racial jokes. And I think its totally fine. It's a way to give themselves power over all of it, and tbh, a way to show they are above. If you're white, and you're hispanic friend makes a lame joke about how bad you are dancing, and you make a joke about their parents being illegals, it demonstrates how they are above the fray.

Now, if it just a bunch of white kids using the n-word, that's different. But context really does matter. Especially at this age

I do not agree at all and I do NOT think "its totally fine." Joking that someone is a bad dancer is NOT the same as joking that their parents are illegals. Joking that their parents are illegals (whether true or not) is NOT something to joke about and is a form of racial microaggression. Microaggression is rampant and sadly most people don't even realize they are doing it. Microaggression is a way to "give themselves power" as you say above.

Well, I guess we can agree to disagree. These kids are the best of friends.

When the Korean kid gets a text from his mom and says "I gotta go home for dinner" and the AA kid says "oh what's for dinner tonight? Dog?". Its totally fine.

Its these kids taking ownership of the racial stereotypes and taking away the hate from them. These boys are truly the best of friends and this is how they interact.

It's not a microaggression. It's not the AA kid taking the power from the Korean kid. Or the white kid taking the power from the hispanic kid. It's them, as a group, taking the power back together.

It's a good thing, imo. These kids love each other despite the adults always telling them how different they are from each other

+1

My best friend is Indian. We travel together a lot. One time we were somewhere where there were tons of Indians and I said “oh they must be all your cousins.” She couldn’t stop laughing. She says stuff like that all the time. She makes fun of me too.

This is life people.

And what type of similar comments has she made to you?? Just because she says it is ok, doesn’t mean it is ok. I want to hear from a minority person that they are ok receiving these comments. I do not care to hear from someone that they are ok dishing out these comments.

She is 100% ok receiving it. She makes similar comments herself all the time. Of course she doesn’t speak for all Indian people, but she’s pretty laid back. The point is if she’s comfortable with it and someone overheard me saying it, calling me a racist is just ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, I guess we can agree to disagree. These kids are the best of friends.

When the Korean kid gets a text from his mom and says "I gotta go home for dinner" and the AA kid says "oh what's for dinner tonight? Dog?". Its totally fine.

Its these kids taking ownership of the racial stereotypes and taking away the hate from them. These boys are truly the best of friends and this is how they interact.

It's not a microaggression. It's not the AA kid taking the power from the Korean kid. Or the white kid taking the power from the hispanic kid. It's them, as a group, taking the power back together.

It's a good thing, imo. These kids love each other despite the adults always telling them how different they are from each other

Are you Korean? This happened to my kid, and they were upset. They might be joking, but intention is different from impact. I don't think this is okay. And it wouldn't be okay for the Korean kid to say something racist to the AA kid either.

Some people don’t care, some people do. Know your audience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, I guess we can agree to disagree. These kids are the best of friends.

When the Korean kid gets a text from his mom and says "I gotta go home for dinner" and the AA kid says "oh what's for dinner tonight? Dog?". Its totally fine.

Its these kids taking ownership of the racial stereotypes and taking away the hate from them. These boys are truly the best of friends and this is how they interact.

It's not a microaggression. It's not the AA kid taking the power from the Korean kid. Or the white kid taking the power from the hispanic kid. It's them, as a group, taking the power back together.

It's a good thing, imo. These kids love each other despite the adults always telling them how different they are from each other

Are you Korean? This happened to my kid, and they were upset. They might be joking, but intention is different from impact. I don't think this is okay. And it wouldn't be okay for the Korean kid to say something racist to the AA kid either.

Some people don’t care, some people do. Know your audience.

kids also like to play victims with parents and act differently with friends. I am friendly with a mother of one of my kid's friends and she tells me he is devastated that kids call him by a certain name. my kid tells me that, at school, he is laughing and calling himself that name as well. everyone agrees my kid doesn't kill him by that name, so she is not motivated to lie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, I guess we can agree to disagree. These kids are the best of friends.

When the Korean kid gets a text from his mom and says "I gotta go home for dinner" and the AA kid says "oh what's for dinner tonight? Dog?". Its totally fine.

Its these kids taking ownership of the racial stereotypes and taking away the hate from them. These boys are truly the best of friends and this is how they interact.

It's not a microaggression. It's not the AA kid taking the power from the Korean kid. Or the white kid taking the power from the hispanic kid. It's them, as a group, taking the power back together.

It's a good thing, imo. These kids love each other despite the adults always telling them how different they are from each other

Are you Korean? This happened to my kid, and they were upset. They might be joking, but intention is different from impact. I don't think this is okay. And it wouldn't be okay for the Korean kid to say something racist to the AA kid either.

Well, we're never going to see eye to eye, but I completely disagree. I think its not only totally fine, I think its great. I do think the kid are unknowingly pushing back against having to tiptoe around certain subjects/language or of how people are so quick to be offended.

I think its great and I won't stop them when I hear them ragging on each other like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have to start a sentence “I am not a racist but” then you shouldn’t finish the sentence.

I'm not a racist but I don't think someone should be condemned based on an unsubstantiated not-detailed accusation.