Morning bike to school has become drama

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Just tell her to ride with her friend on the back. She doesn't have to dump her group. They are going to dump her for riding with her friend.

Then, there's a teaching moment for you.

OP here-- yeah that's what happened- the group dumped her. And they're good friends of hers, so she's upset since she wants to ride with all of them. They all used to meet at our house, so it's not so simple as all riding together since the group has now just been going on their own. First world problem but it's really upset DD and she doesn't know how to handle.

Why don’t they like the new girl? Is there some merit based reason like she is really mean? Or do they just not like her because she is a “dork” or not “cool enough” or something shallow?

If it’s the latter then I would 100% discuss with DD that original group is shallow not to mention willing to dump her easily. Maybe they aren’t such good friends.

If the other girl is drama, then my advice may be different.

It does not matter; they really need to be inclusive.

Can you get the guidance counselor involved to make these boys be inclusive like they should?

No they don’t. They can’t punt her to the curb or be actively cruel, but they do not have to coordinate their day around this girl who they have no friendship with. Are you arranging your commute to work with other people headed the same way you are not friends with?

These kids are growing up and part of that is realizing that not everyone is part of every group. This isn’t first grade “you have to invite the whole class” party.

I say this as someone who was left out of things as a tween/teen. I had my feelings hurt a time or two, but it is a learning curve for social situations. Better this girl learn to knock off the matchmaking now than continue to alienate herself into HS as a busy body creating awkward situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Just tell her to ride with her friend on the back. She doesn't have to dump her group. They are going to dump her for riding with her friend.

Then, there's a teaching moment for you.

OP here-- yeah that's what happened- the group dumped her. And they're good friends of hers, so she's upset since she wants to ride with all of them. They all used to meet at our house, so it's not so simple as all riding together since the group has now just been going on their own. First world problem but it's really upset DD and she doesn't know how to handle.

Why don’t they like the new girl? Is there some merit based reason like she is really mean? Or do they just not like her because she is a “dork” or not “cool enough” or something shallow?

If it’s the latter then I would 100% discuss with DD that original group is shallow not to mention willing to dump her easily. Maybe they aren’t such good friends.

If the other girl is drama, then my advice may be different.

It does not matter; they really need to be inclusive.

Can you get the guidance counselor involved to make these boys be inclusive like they should?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many boy moms on this thread justifying their kids being a-holes. Honestly, I'm sure they are the same ones who justify their collage age sons bullying women.

Most of my friends with boys would be worried about a girl riding alone, even if they didn't like her.

I am hopefully it's just one really ignorant #boymom and not a lot of you being such terrible parents.

The two girls are able to ride together. What is your problem?

My problem is the OP's DD wanted to ride with her friends. The boys are not only excluding the one girl, but dropped the OP's DD and all you boy moms are defending that behavior.

I wouldn't want my DD to have anything to do with a group of boys like this - but maybe as a #boymom OMG YAY you approve of this type of behavior?

You clearly don't have a middle school boy or girl. They aren't all going to be friends skipping to school singing Kumbaya all the time.

I have three middle school kids. Two girls and a boy. My son would never ditch a "friend" but I also wouldn't allow him to have friends like your kids.

+10000

Two boys and a girl here(boy + girl in MS, one boy in ES).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many boy moms on this thread justifying their kids being a-holes. Honestly, I'm sure they are the same ones who justify their collage age sons bullying women.

Most of my friends with boys would be worried about a girl riding alone, even if they didn't like her.

I am hopefully it's just one really ignorant #boymom and not a lot of you being such terrible parents.

I have a boy and a girl, so I’m a both mom I guess? It sounds like the boys don’t like this 1 particular girl, not all girls. She makes them uncomfortable. If the situation were reversed I doubt you’d be calling a group of girls a-holes for not wanting to ride with a boy who tries to arrange romantic relationships that make them uncomfortable. This is such a double standard. And the boys do not owe this girl protection. Her parents should be monitoring how she can get to school safely not assuming other children will take on that responsibility.

The issue is NOT that they don't want to ride with the one girl, but they dropped the other girl who was supposedly their friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many boy moms on this thread justifying their kids being a-holes. Honestly, I'm sure they are the same ones who justify their collage age sons bullying women.

Most of my friends with boys would be worried about a girl riding alone, even if they didn't like her.

I am hopefully it's just one really ignorant #boymom and not a lot of you being such terrible parents.

The two girls are able to ride together. What is your problem?

My problem is the OP's DD wanted to ride with her friends. The boys are not only excluding the one girl, but dropped the OP's DD and all you boy moms are defending that behavior.

I wouldn't want my DD to have anything to do with a group of boys like this - but maybe as a #boymom OMG YAY you approve of this type of behavior?

You clearly don't have a middle school boy or girl. They aren't all going to be friends skipping to school singing Kumbaya all the time.

I have three middle school kids. Two girls and a boy. My son would never ditch a "friend" but I also wouldn't allow him to have friends like your kids.

I have two boys and a girl. My girl has suffered FAR more abuse from other girls than from any of the boys. ever. I don't believe you at all.

Again, red herring.

The issue is THIS group of boys dropped their friend because she wanted to be inclusive. If you feel the need to talk about your kids, start another post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many boy moms on this thread justifying their kids being a-holes. Honestly, I'm sure they are the same ones who justify their collage age sons bullying women.

Most of my friends with boys would be worried about a girl riding alone, even if they didn't like her.

I am hopefully it's just one really ignorant #boymom and not a lot of you being such terrible parents.

The two girls are able to ride together. What is your problem?

My problem is the OP's DD wanted to ride with her friends. The boys are not only excluding the one girl, but dropped the OP's DD and all you boy moms are defending that behavior.

I wouldn't want my DD to have anything to do with a group of boys like this - but maybe as a #boymom OMG YAY you approve of this type of behavior?

You clearly don't have a middle school boy or girl. They aren't all going to be friends skipping to school singing Kumbaya all the time.

I have three middle school kids. Two girls and a boy. My son would never ditch a "friend" but I also wouldn't allow him to have friends like your kids.

You sound mature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many boy moms on this thread justifying their kids being a-holes. Honestly, I'm sure they are the same ones who justify their collage age sons bullying women.

Most of my friends with boys would be worried about a girl riding alone, even if they didn't like her.

I am hopefully it's just one really ignorant #boymom and not a lot of you being such terrible parents.

The two girls are able to ride together. What is your problem?

My problem is the OP's DD wanted to ride with her friends. The boys are not only excluding the one girl, but dropped the OP's DD and all you boy moms are defending that behavior.

I wouldn't want my DD to have anything to do with a group of boys like this - but maybe as a #boymom OMG YAY you approve of this type of behavior?

You clearly don't have a middle school boy or girl. They aren't all going to be friends skipping to school singing Kumbaya all the time.

I have three middle school kids. Two girls and a boy. My son would never ditch a "friend" but I also wouldn't allow him to have friends like your kids.

I have two boys and a girl. My girl has suffered FAR more abuse from other girls than from any of the boys. ever. I don't believe you at all.

Again, red herring.

The issue is THIS group of boys dropped their friend because she wanted to be inclusive. If you feel the need to talk about your kids, start another post.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many boy moms on this thread justifying their kids being a-holes. Honestly, I'm sure they are the same ones who justify their collage age sons bullying women.

Most of my friends with boys would be worried about a girl riding alone, even if they didn't like her.

I am hopefully it's just one really ignorant #boymom and not a lot of you being such terrible parents.

The two girls are able to ride together. What is your problem?

My problem is the OP's DD wanted to ride with her friends. The boys are not only excluding the one girl, but dropped the OP's DD and all you boy moms are defending that behavior.

I wouldn't want my DD to have anything to do with a group of boys like this - but maybe as a #boymom OMG YAY you approve of this type of behavior?

You clearly don't have a middle school boy or girl. They aren't all going to be friends skipping to school singing Kumbaya all the time.

I have three middle school kids. Two girls and a boy. My son would never ditch a "friend" but I also wouldn't allow him to have friends like your kids.

I have two boys and a girl. My girl has suffered FAR more abuse from other girls than from any of the boys. ever. I don't believe you at all.

Again, red herring.

The issue is THIS group of boys dropped their friend because she wanted to be inclusive. If you feel the need to talk about your kids, start another post.

Are you lost hall monitor? OP asks "anyone BTDT" it's an invitation to talk about your experiences. So crawl back under your rock. If the boys don't want to be around this girl, and it seems OP gave a valid reason, there is nothing OP can do about that. She can't make the boys be inclusive. There is nothing to be done, the daughter has decided to ride with the other girl so that's that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many boy moms on this thread justifying their kids being a-holes. Honestly, I'm sure they are the same ones who justify their collage age sons bullying women.

Most of my friends with boys would be worried about a girl riding alone, even if they didn't like her.

I am hopefully it's just one really ignorant #boymom and not a lot of you being such terrible parents.

The two girls are able to ride together. What is your problem?

My problem is the OP's DD wanted to ride with her friends. The boys are not only excluding the one girl, but dropped the OP's DD and all you boy moms are defending that behavior.

I wouldn't want my DD to have anything to do with a group of boys like this - but maybe as a #boymom OMG YAY you approve of this type of behavior?

You clearly don't have a middle school boy or girl. They aren't all going to be friends skipping to school singing Kumbaya all the time.

I have three middle school kids. Two girls and a boy. My son would never ditch a "friend" but I also wouldn't allow him to have friends like your kids.

You sound mature.

DP. Sarcasm doesn’t work when you’re just telling the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many boy moms on this thread justifying their kids being a-holes. Honestly, I'm sure they are the same ones who justify their collage age sons bullying women.

Most of my friends with boys would be worried about a girl riding alone, even if they didn't like her.

I am hopefully it's just one really ignorant #boymom and not a lot of you being such terrible parents.

I have a boy and a girl, so I’m a both mom I guess? It sounds like the boys don’t like this 1 particular girl, not all girls. She makes them uncomfortable. If the situation were reversed I doubt you’d be calling a group of girls a-holes for not wanting to ride with a boy who tries to arrange romantic relationships that make them uncomfortable. This is such a double standard. And the boys do not owe this girl protection. Her parents should be monitoring how she can get to school safely not assuming other children will take on that responsibility.

The issue is NOT that they don't want to ride with the one girl, but they dropped the other girl who was supposedly their friend.

They dropped her because OP's daughter insisted on hanging around he friend who made them uncomfortable. Op's daughter made a choice . Choices have consequences and sometimes the consequences suck. But tha's life.

[Anonymous]

[code]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the have her tell the girl to join, but ride in back with her. Over time the groups will either naturally split or the boys will realize it does not really matter that someone else has joined.

Also, is there a reason the other girl is not welcome? Is she flakey or always late? Maybe just tell your daughter it’s fine to agree that the group leaves on time regardless of who shows up. I could see kids not wanting to have to risk being late.

They don’t like her because- and this is such typical MS BS- she tried to play matchmaker with mutual friends and was annoying when it didn’t work out.

The girls can’t ride in the back- the boys aren’t meeting them at our house anymore. Since last week they’ve just been riding on their own. I assume this will all blow over but DD has been good friends with these boys since they were in elementary school and doesn’t want to lose their friendship.

Then maybe she should tell her trouble making besties to shut up and apologize. Or she'll just have to hang out seprately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Just tell her to ride with her friend on the back. She doesn't have to dump her group. They are going to dump her for riding with her friend.

Then, there's a teaching moment for you.

OP here-- yeah that's what happened- the group dumped her. And they're good friends of hers, so she's upset since she wants to ride with all of them. They all used to meet at our house, so it's not so simple as all riding together since the group has now just been going on their own. First world problem but it's really upset DD and she doesn't know how to handle.

So that was quick.
When people show you who they are, believe them.

Surprised that boys (this feels more like a mean girls' move) would pull this move--over riding bikes to school.

Yes, throw the girls under the bus. When will the sexism end?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many boy moms on this thread justifying their kids being a-holes. Honestly, I'm sure they are the same ones who justify their collage age sons bullying women.

Most of my friends with boys would be worried about a girl riding alone, even if they didn't like her.

I am hopefully it's just one really ignorant #boymom and not a lot of you being such terrible parents.

I have a boy and a girl, so I’m a both mom I guess? It sounds like the boys don’t like this 1 particular girl, not all girls. She makes them uncomfortable. If the situation were reversed I doubt you’d be calling a group of girls a-holes for not wanting to ride with a boy who tries to arrange romantic relationships that make them uncomfortable. This is such a double standard. And the boys do not owe this girl protection. Her parents should be monitoring how she can get to school safely not assuming other children will take on that responsibility.

The issue is NOT that they don't want to ride with the one girl, but they dropped the other girl who was supposedly their friend.

They dropped her because OP's daughter insisted on hanging around he friend who made them uncomfortable. Op's daughter made a choice . Choices have consequences and sometimes the consequences suck. But tha's life.

The boys sound like dicks. Good riddance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many boy moms on this thread justifying their kids being a-holes. Honestly, I'm sure they are the same ones who justify their collage age sons bullying women.

Most of my friends with boys would be worried about a girl riding alone, even if they didn't like her.

I am hopefully it's just one really ignorant #boymom and not a lot of you being such terrible parents.

I have a boy and a girl, so I’m a both mom I guess? It sounds like the boys don’t like this 1 particular girl, not all girls. She makes them uncomfortable. If the situation were reversed I doubt you’d be calling a group of girls a-holes for not wanting to ride with a boy who tries to arrange romantic relationships that make them uncomfortable. This is such a double standard. And the boys do not owe this girl protection. Her parents should be monitoring how she can get to school safely not assuming other children will take on that responsibility.

The issue is NOT that they don't want to ride with the one girl, but they dropped the other girl who was supposedly their friend.

They dropped her because OP's daughter insisted on hanging around he friend who made them uncomfortable. Op's daughter made a choice . Choices have consequences and sometimes the consequences suck. But tha's life.

The boys sound like dicks. Good riddance

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many boy moms on this thread justifying their kids being a-holes. Honestly, I'm sure they are the same ones who justify their collage age sons bullying women.

Most of my friends with boys would be worried about a girl riding alone, even if they didn't like her.

I am hopefully it's just one really ignorant #boymom and not a lot of you being such terrible parents.

I have a boy and a girl, so I’m a both mom I guess? It sounds like the boys don’t like this 1 particular girl, not all girls. She makes them uncomfortable. If the situation were reversed I doubt you’d be calling a group of girls a-holes for not wanting to ride with a boy who tries to arrange romantic relationships that make them uncomfortable. This is such a double standard. And the boys do not owe this girl protection. Her parents should be monitoring how she can get to school safely not assuming other children will take on that responsibility.

The issue is NOT that they don't want to ride with the one girl, but they dropped the other girl who was supposedly their friend.

They dropped her because OP's daughter insisted on hanging around he friend who made them uncomfortable. Op's daughter made a choice . Choices have consequences and sometimes the consequences suck. But tha's life.

This. Reverse the sexes...OP's son allowed his friend who made a group of girls uncomfortable with his matchmaking ride with him to school. The girls stop riding with OP's son because the boy who makes them uncomfortable will be there. No one would have a problem with that.

Honestly it sounds like the boys have done a good job avoiding the drama maker.