How "bad" is our dinner routine- parents eating separate from kids?

[Anonymous]

There are plenty of ways to bond as a family. Shared meals are one way but not the only way. The best advice I was given when pregnant was not to create problems where none exist by comparing yourself to others. If your family is healthy and thriving there is no problem to solve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are more than fine, OP. Janet Lansbury (who has turned out to be correct imo on everything in my own parenting journey) even recommends this. Everyone’s needs are met and there’s no resentment. Total win.

And whatever you and DH are doing that you have the energy and interest to cook together every night should be bottled! It’s rare and I’m jealous.

You’re envious, not jealous. Learn the difference.

You’re annoying, not obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of ways to bond as a family. Shared meals are one way but not the only way. The best advice I was given when pregnant was not to create problems where none exist by comparing yourself to others. If your family is healthy and thriving there is no problem to solve.

I wrote a long post about sharing the joy of cooking with your family, but this is really probably the right answer op. The time with your husband sounds really special. I don’t think it would hurt to share some of that magic with your kids on Sunday nights and when they are older a little more but doesn’t have to be all or nothing!

[Anonymous]

I am frankly jealous of your kids happily eating a huge variety of healthy foods, your awesome marriage, and what sounds like very relaxed evenings for having kids that age!

[Anonymous]

I'd make a traditional meal, but I'd also make a charcuterie board each evening with the foods the children like. Everyone sits together and talks. Try to introduce the children to new foods over time.

[Anonymous]

If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

[Anonymous]

My kids are the same age and we do the same thing during the weekday, and sometimes on weekends. Didn’t even realize it was controversial…just figured we’d do the family meal thing when they’re slightly older/not going to bed at 7pm.

[Anonymous]

Oh and my kids eat similarly. Didn’t occur to me to be worried about that either.

Comparison is the thief of joy- seriously.

[Anonymous]

My kid is 14 and we do this for 9 out of 10 meals. He is healthy, sweet-tempered, gets straight As, and still cuddles on the sofa with me during our weekly movie nights.

In defiance of Tolstoy, not all happy families are like.

[Anonymous]

we do this most of the time bc the kids are starving and want to eat at 5.45, but i feel bad about it and like a bad parent and person. But also feel like that about other stuff too.

[Anonymous]

I’m not going to read all the comments to say that it is so lovely you and your husband have that time together. Cherish it! Our kids are now 4, 7, 8 and 11 and that time with him for me is hard to find. Keep doing what you are doing. A strong marriage is soooo important to a healthy family. You will need to adjust your habit when the oldest is like 7-8 so enjoy it while it lasts!

[Anonymous]

We eat separately from our three children (5, 8 and 9). They eat dinner, go to bed at 7 pm (or read in their beds until they fall asleep) and then DH and I eat together. We spend all afternoon/evening and weekends doing homework, playing with them and having family time. Dinner isn’t some magical time you have to spend together. DH and I, however, have a very happy marriage and we connect well and enjoy chatting peacefully at dinner together. Maybe someday it will change but it’s great now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are more than fine, OP. Janet Lansbury (who has turned out to be correct imo on everything in my own parenting journey) even recommends this. Everyone’s needs are met and there’s no resentment. Total win.

And whatever you and DH are doing that you have the energy and interest to cook together every night should be bottled! It’s rare and I’m jealous.

You’re envious, not jealous. Learn the difference.

You’re annoying, not obnoxious.

You’re obnoxious and annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not going to read all the comments to say that it is so lovely you and your husband have that time together. Cherish it! Our kids are now 4, 7, 8 and 11 and that time with him for me is hard to find. Keep doing what you are doing. A strong marriage is soooo important to a healthy family. You will need to adjust your habit when the oldest is like 7-8 so enjoy it while it lasts!

So they wouldn’t have a strong marriage if they ate together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe anybody has a problem with this. You’re sitting with them while they eat, they get fed when they’re hungry and go to bed at a reasonable time, and you and your husband enjoy a later adult meal . What you do with the kids still sounds like a family dinner time to me.

It’s not like you’re giving them a TV dinner and ignoring them.

+100

Sounds like they are having a healthy meal (if not one that broadens their horizons) and you are also spending time with them. And, you have quality couple time with your DH!

I think it sounds ideal for kids that age. When the youngest moves into K or so, then you might want to start changing it up to one dinner.