How "bad" is our dinner routine- parents eating separate from kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why have kids? Never thought to have dinner with them say 4-5 days a week? The other day you could do this dinner thing with your spouse. And if marriage needs that dinner making time to be keep you and husband happy, then it’s not a good marriage.

+1. It’s like they don’t know that having kids means they will be in the house needing to be raised. I mean , OP said they had 12 years before having kids. Is that not enough time in years to then pivot and have dinner like a family. You know your family with your kids?

[Anonymous]

The kids eat the way they do because they don’t eat with you. They are t exposed to anything else. Op likes it that way. Otherwise, they are a burden.

[Anonymous]

They are 3 and 5. It's fine. Don't stress too much.

[Anonymous]

You are more than fine, OP. Janet Lansbury (who has turned out to be correct imo on everything in my own parenting journey) even recommends this. Everyone’s needs are met and there’s no resentment. Total win.

And whatever you and DH are doing that you have the energy and interest to cook together every night should be bottled! It’s rare and I’m jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are more than fine, OP. Janet Lansbury (who has turned out to be correct imo on everything in my own parenting journey) even recommends this. Everyone’s needs are met and there’s no resentment. Total win.

And whatever you and DH are doing that you have the energy and interest to cook together every night should be bottled! It’s rare and I’m jealous.

You’re envious, not jealous. Learn the difference.

[Anonymous]

A bunch of parents on here who can’t be bothered with their kids.

[Anonymous]

A bunch of parents here who define themselves only as parents and not adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A bunch of parents here who define themselves only as parents and not adults.

It’s obvious they are adults. Not all adults are parents. There is no need to define an adult. They just are an adult by age. Also, why are you “defining” people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A bunch of parents here who define themselves only as parents and not adults.

Parents are adults. Duh! Unless you’re a teen mom/dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A bunch of parents here who define themselves only as parents and not adults.

NP

Do you get pissed when your employer list or call you an employee and not adult?
Are your siblings forbidden from calling you their sister/brother?

[Anonymous]

I am surprised by the negative feedback you are getting. We eat dinner all together 3-4 nights a week but the other 3-4 nights we do as you do: kids eat first and my DH and I sit and talk w them while they eat and then DH and I eat later. As long as you are spending quality time w your kids/all together as a family (which it sounds like you are!) and as long as they’re eating healthy foods (which it sounds like they are!) it’s fine.

[Anonymous]

OP, people on here heard something about the importance of eating dinner as a family that was based on some study in the 1990s. And they do it even if it’s too late for their kids or leads to stressful meals for them.

If your kids get adequate nutrition, have each other and you to socialize with during meals *and* have parents with a strong marriage, everyone benefits.

My guess is things will shift as kid schedules get later and palates expand.

[Anonymous]

Do what works for your family. There is nothing bad about it. The kids are really young. When they are older, their dinner time will shift a bit, so you’ll be able to enjoy dinner all together. There is really no good reason to shift things if your current routine works with everyone.

[Anonymous]

This thread is fascinating. It’s like all these parents who have been suffering with “daily family dinner” since infancy are aggrieved that there might have been a better way the whole time. It’s like when parents realize that maybe CIO wasn’t the only way to raise a great sleeper. Or that another parenting pursuit or maxim was adhered to in vain. People need to think for themselves.

OP: Eventually the family dinner will come, and nothing is lost with your status quo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, people on here heard something about the importance of eating dinner as a family that was based on some study in the 1990s. And they do it even if it’s too late for their kids or leads to stressful meals for them.

If your kids get adequate nutrition, have each other and you to socialize with during meals *and* have parents with a strong marriage, everyone benefits.

My guess is things will shift as kid schedules get later and palates expand.

This, 100%.