Is it creepy that a bartender remembered my drink after one visit three weeks ago?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It honestly made me feel uncomfortable. My drink was just a basic two ingredient cocktail. I think I look pretty normal and forgettable. I made sure to pay cash because I didn’t want him taking down my name and then social media or Google stalking me.

Did you get drunk when you went to several weeks ago? Do you feel insecure about the amount of drinks that you ordered? I sense that some sort of specious element here.

Just one drink. Tipped normally, nothing too low or too high. Nothing about my brief visit was memorable. I do not want to be remembered and treated like a barfly on a first name basis with any server. I don’t want to be served like “oh, the usual?” It is not courteous, it is rude to conduct yourself like this to a woman in a drinking establishment. And it is a little creepy to remember woman and her drink when she briefly visited several weeks ago.

No, it’s really not.

But you seem paranoid and mentally ill, and you probably need a stronger reality check than what an online discussion board can send you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s kinda what they do, no?

Not something I appreciate, want, or tip extra for. If it’s not creepy and stalkerish, it gives off an alcoholic bar fly vibe, like you must go there so often and booze sort of thing, so the bartender knows your name and drink. Even if it’s inadvertent, it is not appreciated and makes me uncomfortable. Especially uncouth to do to a single woman.

This is a deeply strange way to view the world, most likely the result of reading and highlighting multiple copies of The Gift of Fear.

Also, that's not what uncouth means. If you're going to be paranoid and hyper-sensitive, at least use the correct vocabulary.

[Anonymous]

There was a bartender at Manny's in Minneapolis that remembered my drink more than a year after the one time I had been there. The previous time, I'd sat at the packed bar on a weeknight for about an hour and had 2 drinks and dinner. I *wish* I had a memory like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s kinda what they do, no?

Not something I appreciate, want, or tip extra for. If it’s not creepy and stalkerish, it gives off an alcoholic bar fly vibe, like you must go there so often and booze sort of thing, so the bartender knows your name and drink. Even if it’s inadvertent, it is not appreciated and makes me uncomfortable. Especially uncouth to do to a single woman.

This is the least surprised I’ve ever been to find someone is single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s kinda what they do, no?

Not something I appreciate, want, or tip extra for. If it’s not creepy and stalkerish, it gives off an alcoholic bar fly vibe, like you must go there so often and booze sort of thing, so the bartender knows your name and drink. Even if it’s inadvertent, it is not appreciated and makes me uncomfortable. Especially uncouth to do to a single woman.

This is a deeply strange way to view the world, most likely the result of reading and highlighting multiple copies of The Gift of Fear.

Also, that's not what uncouth means. If you're going to be paranoid and hyper-sensitive, at least use the correct vocabulary.

This thread made me think of The Gift of Fear as well. Whenever posters here are like “trust your gut” I think “but what if they’re crazy and their gut is like this OP?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing creepy about this.

Bartenders, however, deal with plenty of creeps. They are not being nice, or remembering you or your drink, because they like you or think you are special. It is to increase tips.

Why would I tip more because he remembered me and my drink? Who asked for or seeks such a thing?

Who the eff goes to a bar as a single person? Someone looking to socialize. And then goes back and complains that the bartender remembered their order (which is bartender for socialization; they're not really your friend)? It's ingratiating behavior in the service industry, and you should just accept your weirdnesses and either drink alone or sober up altogether.

You're a mess.

I have a work account in that area. I went once three weeks ago for one drink. I returned three weeks later for one drink. Zero interest in socializing. I don’t consider it good service to be talked to like a bar fly or remembered by a male bartender. It made me feel uncomfortable and I’m sure most solo women would agree.

We can all see this is what you think, but you are getting a bit presumptuous about others here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s kinda what they do, no?

Not something I appreciate, want, or tip extra for. If it’s not creepy and stalkerish, it gives off an alcoholic bar fly vibe, like you must go there so often and booze sort of thing, so the bartender knows your name and drink. Even if it’s inadvertent, it is not appreciated and makes me uncomfortable. Especially uncouth to do to a single woman.

I literally just laughed at your answer. Are you replying from the Victorian era?

I tipped the same few dollars for a drink that I would. But I will literally never go back there. I just don’t want to be noticed or remember by a random bartender I’ve literally seen one time in my life. I don’t get how that is considered good service from a solo female POV. Sorry, it’s a little creepy coming from a male server and made me feel uncomfortable and slightly embarrassed that this was overheard by others in the establishment.

You think they were paying that kind of detailed attention to you?

I don’t care. It’s the implication. It’s not good manners nor is it good service to make a woman feel like a bar fly. And sorry, it is creepy to remember me and what I drank several weeks after a brief visit.

No, that's on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s kinda what they do, no?

Not something I appreciate, want, or tip extra for. If it’s not creepy and stalkerish, it gives off an alcoholic bar fly vibe, like you must go there so often and booze sort of thing, so the bartender knows your name and drink. Even if it’s inadvertent, it is not appreciated and makes me uncomfortable. Especially uncouth to do to a single woman.

This is the least surprised I’ve ever been to find someone is single.

I know, right?

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of people who are great at remembering people. They make good bartenders.

This is normal.

You are not.

[Anonymous]

When they call your name at the doctor's office, do you think they're calling you out for being a harlot?

[Anonymous]

NP. This is so interesting to me. I also prefer to remain anonymous even at grocery stores where I see the same checkers all the time.

But that’s a me thing.

When I was a teenager I spent the summers working at a beachside mini-mart. People loved it that I could remember their preferred brand of cigarettes even if they had just stopped in once at the start of the summer. My boss thought it was great customer service. I bet this bartender’s manager thinks he’s great too.

[Anonymous]

to answer the original Queston: No! that's='s the mark of a good bartender! Think Cheers!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When they call your name at the doctor's office, do you think they're calling you out for being a harlot?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s kinda what they do, no?

Not something I appreciate, want, or tip extra for. If it’s not creepy and stalkerish, it gives off an alcoholic bar fly vibe, like you must go there so often and booze sort of thing, so the bartender knows your name and drink. Even if it’s inadvertent, it is not appreciated and makes me uncomfortable. Especially uncouth to do to a single woman.

This is a deeply strange way to view the world, most likely the result of reading and highlighting multiple copies of The Gift of Fear.

Also, that's not what uncouth means. If you're going to be paranoid and hyper-sensitive, at least use the correct vocabulary.

This thread made me think of The Gift of Fear as well. Whenever posters here are like “trust your gut” I think “but what if they’re crazy and their gut is like this OP?”

It's the favorite book of paranoids everywhere

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It honestly made me feel uncomfortable. My drink was just a basic two ingredient cocktail. I think I look pretty normal and forgettable. I made sure to pay cash because I didn’t want him taking down my name and then social media or Google stalking me.

Did you get drunk when you went to several weeks ago? Do you feel insecure about the amount of drinks that you ordered? I sense that some sort of specious element here.

Just one drink. Tipped normally, nothing too low or too high. Nothing about my brief visit was memorable. I do not want to be remembered and treated like a barfly on a first name basis with any server. I don’t want to be served like “oh, the usual?” It is not courteous, it is rude to conduct yourself like this to a woman in a drinking establishment. And it is a little creepy to remember woman and her drink when she briefly visited several weeks ago.

OP, were you with someone the second time, either a friend or another customer you met at the bar? It sounds like you were embarrassed to admit you had been there drinking alone in the past.