Just got ghosted

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if one [date] results in sex that doesn’t guarantee that the man stops pursuing [others].

Men have time constraints and learn what feels right. Before the first date, women are legitimately concerned about safety and poseurs. But when the man shows up, is not a serial killer, and matches his profile, then the date turns into a two-way audition. I walked out on first dates and declined second dates when women were difficult. Avoiding "excessive communication" and having multiple "pleasant" dates, WTF? I don't shower, shave, and flush my Tinder pipeline to exchange pleasantries. Sex is neither necessary nor sufficient to continue exploring a relationship. But playing games and withholding communication is unacceptable. If you treat a prince like a frog, then he will probably jump away.

Harsh but probably something OP needs to hear. I do wonder if she’s actually playing games though. What seems more likely is that she is just a reserved person for whom the online dating world doesn’t always work well. Or (more likely) she actually wasn’t attracted to this guy at all, but believes she needs to go through all the paces because that’s just what one does. Either way, my advice to OP is to get more assertive about what SHE actually wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now imagine being ghosted after being in a serious relationship with someone for 6 months or a year.

So I’m curious. In that situation, how do you know you were ghosted vs someone dying or being kidnapped or something?

She's alive. Later she posted IG photos with her new boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It takes at least a month ... [to] check if he is actually single, has a clean place of his own, caring and not an a..ole.

A considerate gentleman would give his home and work numbers and then invite you to inspect his place on the first date.

Anonymous wrote:I do wonder if she’s actually playing games [or] is just a reserved person

She seems both reserved and solipsistic. A similar thread laments "abysmal online dating" after matching with batches of men and then ignoring most. These women reject thousands of men and never risk rejection by initiating messages or asking men on dates. They criticize "ass..oles" who "ghost" by failing to ask for a third date. This lack of empathy probably explains why these women get so many first dates, and so few repeat dates.

Don't hate me; hate those conniving women who appreciate, smile, blush, and flirt with their dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It takes at least a month ... [to] check if he is actually single, has a clean place of his own, caring and not an a..ole.

A considerate gentleman would give his home and work numbers and then invite you to inspect his place on the first date.

Anonymous wrote:I do wonder if she’s actually playing games [or] is just a reserved person

She seems both reserved and solipsistic. A similar thread laments "abysmal online dating" after matching with batches of men and then ignoring most. These women reject thousands of men and never risk rejection by initiating messages or asking men on dates. They criticize "ass..oles" who "ghost" by failing to ask for a third date. This lack of empathy probably explains why these women get so many first dates, and so few repeat dates.

Don't hate me; hate those conniving women who appreciate, smile, blush, and flirt with their dates.

You are highlighting very hypocritical behavior by women on dating sites. Do others agree, that many women on these sites have a double standard regarding their own behavior vs. the behavior of men? I think relationships where one partner is totally out of touch with observing the golden rule are not healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It takes at least a month ... [to] check if he is actually single, has a clean place of his own, caring and not an a..ole.

A considerate gentleman would give his home and work numbers and then invite you to inspect his place on the first date.

Anonymous wrote:I do wonder if she’s actually playing games [or] is just a reserved person

She seems both reserved and solipsistic. A similar thread laments "abysmal online dating" after matching with batches of men and then ignoring most. These women reject thousands of men and never risk rejection by initiating messages or asking men on dates. They criticize "ass..oles" who "ghost" by failing to ask for a third date. This lack of empathy probably explains why these women get so many first dates, and so few repeat dates.

Don't hate me; hate those conniving women who appreciate, smile, blush, and flirt with their dates.

You are highlighting very hypocritical behavior by women on dating sites. Do others agree, that many women on these sites have a double standard regarding their own behavior vs. the behavior of men? I think relationships where one partner is totally out of touch with observing the golden rule are not healthy.

I agree. If women didn't have double standards, they wouldn't have any standards at all.