Sister in law told my elderly mother this is the last Christmas she’ll see their family

[Anonymous]

OP is deliberately evading the question about her brother. It’s clear it was his decision equally and she’s just scapegoating the SIL.
Grow up and stop whining, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh no, your SIL is widowed, or divorced? Or your brother is a deaf, mute, blind quadriplegic who can’t communicate in any way?

OH WAIT. Your brother is also equally responsible for this decision. And yet you only blame the woman, you sexist jerk.

Just because she strongarmed her husband into agreeing with her doesn't mean she doesn't get the lion's share of the blame. SIL can't have it both ways - getting what she wants (Christmas Eve and Day with her family, not having to see DH's family on Christmas at all) AND also getting to play "this was our joint decision, teeheehee."

Sorry, honey. Married couples are jointly responsible for decisions. It doesn't matter which one of the couple feels more strongly, or if one wants to “go along to get along.” They still co-signed. If you buy a house with your husband that he likes more than you do, your signatures on the documents are still equally legally binding. And you blaming the woman makes you a sexist jerk. The end.

[Anonymous]

Hah I read the title and thought SIL was planning to kill off the poor mother!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it a huge deal if they visit with your mother on a day that is not exactly Dec 24-25?

This. I just sat through 5 days where I worked my a$$ of while my mom sat around on her phone playing solitaire and games and maybe tried to engage with my kids once. Took her out to dinner 3 times and cooked two huge meals entertaining her family that I do not care about. I see them once a year. In return my kids and I got $25 gift cards. She forgot to get anything for DH. I am done. Next year, I plan to buy the kids one big gift and some small things that we can bring in a suitcase. I’m going somewhere that I can actually enjoy myself and spend time with my kids.

You’re projecting. Nobody said anything about a five day Christmas. It’s literally one day. Usually Christmas Eve until 10 p.m., when they leave to go to church with her family. This year it was Eve Eve. Even Eve Eve no longer works for them.

Actually, dear, Christmas is LITERALLY TWELVE DAYS.

Not to most Americans. 12 days is just a song.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hah I read the title and thought SIL was planning to kill off the poor mother!

Hahaha! I ❤️ you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your brother and SIL have every right to make other plans and should not be expected on the 24th or 25th (or any specific day) each year. It would be nice to celebrate Christmas together another day- many extended families do! I’d go that route. Invite your mom to your house for Christmas.

We already pushed it to the 23rd for them this year. I guess even that wasn’t enough. And for those saying break is short. Private school Christmas break is at least two weeks. Delaying a beach vacation with private school families a day or two is not the end of the world. I would bet anything they go to a place in Florida where her parents can rent an Airbnb or stay in a luxury hotel, so they still spend all of Christmas with her family.

Oh my god, listen to yourself. You don't even know where they are traveling? You "would bet anything" her parents are going to travel there too so it's some kind of conspiracy to have Christmas with her family and not yours? You don't sound like you know exactly how long their break is or what their travel plans are, but you are convinced you know everything about this decision and what went into it?

You sound like an absolute snake. I would refuse to spend Christmas with you even if I wasn't traveling, because I wouldn't want to spend hours listening/watching you pick apart my family, may passive-aggressive remarks, and criticize my every move. Life is too short. I hope they have a great Christmas next year spending it just with people who like them.

+100. I love that they will be having fun next year, while the most enjoyable thing OP will be doing is gossiping with anyone who will listen to her about how horrible her SIL is (never mind her equally responsible brother). I love it. I hope they have a fabulous time each and every year. Good for them!

[Anonymous]

Christmas celebrations are nice, but warm weather vacations are even better. I doubt SIL had to “strongarm” her husband into anything. Lol.

Also, they live nearby…this isn’t a “but it is the only time a year we see each other!” sort of thing. They can spend time with your mom any other time.

Their kids are getting older (and most likely less Santa-focused) and now have school breaks etc to work around also. Makes total sense for their family to consider traveling over break now, even though they didn’t before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Christmas celebrations are nice, but warm weather vacations are even better. I doubt SIL had to “strongarm” her husband into anything. Lol.

Also, they live nearby…this isn’t a “but it is the only time a year we see each other!” sort of thing. They can spend time with your mom any other time.

Their kids are getting older (and most likely less Santa-focused) and now have school breaks etc to work around also. Makes total sense for their family to consider traveling over break now, even though they didn’t before.

They are in the same region—ex Bethesda to Baltimore—not the same town. My mother only sees them a handful of times per year. Her parents live in their same town and see them practically every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is deliberately evading the question about her brother. It’s clear it was his decision equally and she’s just scapegoating the SIL.
Grow up and stop whining, OP.

My brother is a pushover. Is that what you want me to say? She pretty much wears the pants. She wants to orbit the families at the private school. And as I’ve repeated, I would bet anything her parents are given the address where they plan to vacation so they can arrange travel and lodging there for next Christmas, while she “nicely” tells our mom this is their last local Christmas.

[Anonymous]

That seems egregiously cruel on her part.

[Anonymous]

Ah yes, the “Old, Local Mom Will Die Soon” card. You know, the one my aunt played about my grandmother for TWENTY YEARS? My grandmother died at the age of 98, and while I loved her, I saw her a lot and would have liked to have a few Christmas vacations with my immediate family here and there, especially before college and adulthood changed everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Christmas celebrations are nice, but warm weather vacations are even better. I doubt SIL had to “strongarm” her husband into anything. Lol.

Also, they live nearby…this isn’t a “but it is the only time a year we see each other!” sort of thing. They can spend time with your mom any other time.

Their kids are getting older (and most likely less Santa-focused) and now have school breaks etc to work around also. Makes total sense for their family to consider traveling over break now, even though they didn’t before.

They are in the same region—ex Bethesda to Baltimore—not the same town. My mother only sees them a handful of times per year. Her parents live in their same town and see them practically every day.

If your mother only sees them a handful of times a year and it’s less than an hour of driving distance, then clearly seeing her is not that much of a priority to YOUR BROTHER, THE SON SHE RAISED, irrespective of holidays or travel plans.

Your. Brother. Doesn’t. Care. That. Much. About. Your. Family. Be upset about that, and stop bashing your SIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah yes, the “Old, Local Mom Will Die Soon” card. You know, the one my aunt played about my grandmother for TWENTY YEARS? My grandmother died at the age of 98, and while I loved her, I saw her a lot and would have liked to have a few Christmas vacations with my immediate family here and there, especially before college and adulthood changed everything.

I think there’s a difference between announcing in October that your immediate family will be away for Christmas that one year, and instead telling a mother that this will be the last Christmas she shares with her child and grandchildren because you have to keep up with the private school families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Christmas celebrations are nice, but warm weather vacations are even better. I doubt SIL had to “strongarm” her husband into anything. Lol.

Also, they live nearby…this isn’t a “but it is the only time a year we see each other!” sort of thing. They can spend time with your mom any other time.

Their kids are getting older (and most likely less Santa-focused) and now have school breaks etc to work around also. Makes total sense for their family to consider traveling over break now, even though they didn’t before.

They are in the same region—ex Bethesda to Baltimore—not the same town. My mother only sees them a handful of times per year. Her parents live in their same town and see them practically every day.

Answer the question. Where is your brother in all this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ah yes, the “Old, Local Mom Will Die Soon” card. You know, the one my aunt played about my grandmother for TWENTY YEARS? My grandmother died at the age of 98, and while I loved her, I saw her a lot and would have liked to have a few Christmas vacations with my immediate family here and there, especially before college and adulthood changed everything.

I think there’s a difference between announcing in October that your immediate family will be away for Christmas that one year, and instead telling a mother that this will be the last Christmas she shares with her child and grandchildren because you have to keep up with the private school families.

Any time your BROTHER announced this would be crappy for you, wouldn't it, OP?
You are so jealous, it's coming out of your pores.