Millennials feel 'abandoned' by parents not available to help raise grandkids: 'Too busy'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do grandparents owe their children and grandchildren anything? Yes, it would be great if they could help out but some of your are downright entitled. You think your parents still owe you their time and effort? How messed up is that?

Why do we owe you Social security or medicare?

The average boomer never paid enough into those systems, which is why they're going broke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait till these grandparents need help.

I can assure you, their parents are not counting on any help seeing how inept and fragile these people are. It’s laughable to think that you can’t handle your own children but somehow will be of any use in elder care. Kids are a piece of cake compared to the elderly.

Little kids are much harder. What planet are you from?

I have little kids and a parent with dementia. Elder care is much much harder.

+ 1. Emotionally and physically. And it’s not recognized by society either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait till these grandparents need help.

I can assure you, their parents are not counting on any help seeing how inept and fragile these people are. It’s laughable to think that you can’t handle your own children but somehow will be of any use in elder care. Kids are a piece of cake compared to the elderly.

Little kids are much harder. What planet are you from?

I have little kids and a parent with dementia. Elder care is much much harder.

I agree! I'd rather have a toddler than a dementia elderly person. After all, I can pay for people to take care of my toddler and I pick her up at night. That apparently isn't a thing with the elderly.

I just don't understand why kids are only the responsibility of the parents. Seems like it's a responsibility for the entire family to ensure their family continues. I assume it's based on legal issues that it's only parents' responsibilities. (And no, I'm not someone looking for more grandparent help).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do grandparents owe their children and grandchildren anything? Yes, it would be great if they could help out but some of your are downright entitled. You think your parents still owe you their time and effort? How messed up is that?

Why do we owe you Social security or medicare?

The average boomer never paid enough into those systems, which is why they're going broke.

That’s not how it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m gen x but my grandparents were very involved with my life. My boomer mom never even calls my kids. It’s very sad.

This. Don’t come knocking on my door when you need someone to put everything on hold to help you to the bathroom, get dressed, and feed you for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is mostly true about white 2nd+ gen Americans.
Immigrants and their kids help each other out, helping kids to avoid student debt and exorbitant childcare expenses, and then kids help their parents avoid elder care expenses. As a result the money stays in the family and helps build generational wealth.
The traditional American middle class strategy where everyone fends for themselves isn’t working anymore. Soon most white Americans will lose their status, financial and professional, unless they rethink their generational strategies.

I am going to report this racist post.

NP here. Is this racist? I ask because my friend has parents who fled the war in Vietnam and this is what she told me their community does to help others get settled and build up their community vs outsiders. They also said it’s a little bit “pay it forward” in that once you are established, you help more recently arrived or early in life folks be successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do grandparents owe their children and grandchildren anything? Yes, it would be great if they could help out but some of your are downright entitled. You think your parents still owe you their time and effort? How messed up is that?

Why do we owe you Social security or medicare?

The average boomer never paid enough into those systems, which is why they're going broke.

Amen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do grandparents owe their children and grandchildren anything? Yes, it would be great if they could help out but some of your are downright entitled. You think your parents still owe you their time and effort? How messed up is that?

Why do we owe you Social security or medicare?

The average boomer never paid enough into those systems, which is why they're going broke.

That’s not how it works.

For decades Boomers vehementy opposed paying more taxes to shore up SS or medicare. Instead they always pushed for expanding yet abother benefit for themselves. So they're getting way more out of those systems than they ever paid in. Now Millennials are left holding the bag with all this national debt while Boomers basically have the gov pay for their viagra and pleasure cruises.

[Anonymous]

My parents, the first gen immigrants, worked so hard raising me, I don’t have a problem with their decision to enjoy their retirement.

It wasn’t easy for DH and I as we worked full time all through the kids’ early years. But it was our decision to have kids, so we need to take full ownership of being financially, physically and emotionally responsible as parents to our kids.


Hang in there young parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do grandparents owe their children and grandchildren anything? Yes, it would be great if they could help out but some of your are downright entitled. You think your parents still owe you their time and effort? How messed up is that?

Why do we owe you Social security or medicare?

The average boomer never paid enough into those systems, which is why they're going broke.

That’s not how it works.[/quote
Right it's setup to suck the youth dry while the boomers spend and live lavish lives or waste it all on end of life care in their 70s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do grandparents owe their children and grandchildren anything? Yes, it would be great if they could help out but some of your are downright entitled. You think your parents still owe you their time and effort? How messed up is that?

Why do we owe you Social security or medicare?

The average boomer never paid enough into those systems, which is why they're going broke.

That’s not how it works.

For decades Boomers vehementy opposed paying more taxes to shore up SS or medicare. Instead they always pushed for expanding yet abother benefit for themselves. So they're getting way more out of those systems than they ever paid in. Now Millennials are left holding the bag with all this national debt while Boomers basically have the gov pay for their viagra and pleasure cruises.

Right it's setup to suck the youth dry while the boomers spend and live lavish lives or waste it all on end of life care in their 70s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like a lot of millennials refuse to do the math. When I was small, my grandma was in her 50s. People complaining about lack of help when “my parents’ parents helped them”: how old are your parents? My guess is, substantially older than their parents were when you were born.

It’s nobody’s fault. It’s just a societal change. Complaining won’t help.

DP. I feel like this is going to be an underrated post, but that you are likely correct.

Except 70 today is like 50 back then. Upper middle class boomers in their 70s are playing golf, tennis, traveling, and living fully while 70 year old grandmothers in the 1970s were much more decrepit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is it with Boomers NEVER calling? And then complaining we never call when we call semi regularly? If they don't like the frequency, why don't they call more?

My kids would love to talk on the phone but our parents only want facetime and my kids even think that's intrusive. EVERYONE hates facetime! I can't even tell you how many tantrums my kids have had over having to be on facetime with grandparents.

Absolutely. I telephone my parents weekly, and half the time they are busy or distracted. Yet my mom's only Christmas request last year was monthly facetimes with all the grandkids at once. Nobody likes video, and coordinating time zones, nap times, and weekend activities is impossible.

[Anonymous]

I don’t have this problem personally, but I do think wealthy Boomers are generally pretty selfish. It’s the whole “I got mine, screw everyone else” attitude that they seem to take to everything.

My grandmother passed away at 92 last year. I didn’t grow up near my grandparents, but my cousins did and she helped a lot with raising them. I do remember her coming down to help take care of my sibling and me in a pinch like when my mom was hospitalized once. She had a saying, “Be nice to your kids; they’ll pick your nursing home one day!”. As it happened she never had to move out of her home because my aunts and cousins lived around the corner and were there all the time helping her. She never developed dementia thankfully. I’m sure these Boomers are living it up right now but things can change quickly when you get old. I do wonder what they will expect from their adult children if/when aging really starts coming for them. It’s not so simple as you just move in to a facility when things start going downhill. There is so much to navigate and most elderly people need someone younger asking the right questions and advocating for them if not providing full on care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do get a bit annoyed at my boomer parents, who are always on vacation, while I have small children at home, a demanding career, and cannot get enough sleep.

That’s weird. Why would you be annoyed by that? They’re your kids.

They live a life of leisure while I work nonstop. It gets annoying when they want to see the grandkids but cannot watch them for 15 minutes so I can get work done.

Did your grandparents watch you while you're parents worked?

DP. Yes, my grandparents watched us after school and for evening events and sometimes during the summer. They also watched us full time for two separate 3 week vacations my parents took.