Millennials feel 'abandoned' by parents not available to help raise grandkids: 'Too busy'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is mostly true about white 2nd+ gen Americans.
Immigrants and their kids help each other out, helping kids to avoid student debt and exorbitant childcare expenses, and then kids help their parents avoid elder care expenses. As a result the money stays in the family and helps build generational wealth.
The traditional American middle class strategy where everyone fends for themselves isn’t working anymore. Soon most white Americans will lose their status, financial and professional, unless they rethink their generational strategies.

I am going to report this racist post.

NP here. Is this racist? I ask because my friend has parents who fled the war in Vietnam and this is what she told me their community does to help others get settled and build up their community vs outsiders. They also said it’s a little bit “pay it forward” in that once you are established, you help more recently arrived or early in life folks be successful.

Of course it’s not racist
Some people look for offense everywhere

[Anonymous]

My grandparents were older (late thirties when they had my mother who was early thirties when she had me) but they helped her constantly. She was a SAHM but my grandparents were always stopping by to take us on an outing for the day or even just out to dinner and a movie so my parents could be alone. We adored them. They also stayed with us for weeks at a time when we were elementary age so my parents could travel overseas alone.
My parents try to help but there are strings attached and stipulations. My mother is a late riser so she will not do anything before noon. My father is morbidly obese so he really can't help at all. And my mother keeps score of how often she helps vs my MIL because she wants to make sure she isn't stuck with the lions share. My kids are school age so not too much work but we are both medical workers and sometimes have strange hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is it with Boomers NEVER calling? And then complaining we never call when we call semi regularly? If they don't like the frequency, why don't they call more?

My kids would love to talk on the phone but our parents only want facetime and my kids even think that's intrusive. EVERYONE hates facetime! I can't even tell you how many tantrums my kids have had over having to be on facetime with grandparents.

Absolutely. I telephone my parents weekly, and half the time they are busy or distracted. Yet my mom's only Christmas request last year was monthly facetimes with all the grandkids at once. Nobody likes video, and coordinating time zones, nap times, and weekend activities is impossible.

My mom is always trying to do big family wide FaceTime. No one can get a word in and the kids don't feel like performing. But when I call her all she wants to talk about is gossip regarding my childhood neighbors and her exercise club. Fascinating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is it with Boomers NEVER calling? And then complaining we never call when we call semi regularly? If they don't like the frequency, why don't they call more?

My kids would love to talk on the phone but our parents only want facetime and my kids even think that's intrusive. EVERYONE hates facetime! I can't even tell you how many tantrums my kids have had over having to be on facetime with grandparents.

[phone] on the FaceTime

[Anonymous]

I think it’s clear that the whole notion that families should move to different edges of the country and fend for themselves doesn’t work. This isn’t really evident until you have kids . . . I moved from DC to a smaller town where people tend to have local family (and where I have family). It’s better to have grandma than a babysitter, but it’s also nice to be close enough to help when grandma has medical issues. No amount of hiring/outsourcing can replace the ease/comfort of family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do grandparents owe their children and grandchildren anything? Yes, it would be great if they could help out but some of your are downright entitled. You think your parents still owe you their time and effort? How messed up is that?

Why do we owe you Social security or medicare?

The average boomer never paid enough into those systems, which is why they're going broke.

That’s not how it works.

For decades Boomers vehementy opposed paying more taxes to shore up SS or medicare. Instead they always pushed for expanding yet abother benefit for themselves. So they're getting way more out of those systems than they ever paid in. Now Millennials are left holding the bag with all this national debt while Boomers basically have the gov pay for their viagra and pleasure cruises.

Precisely. Most selfish generation in history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents are absolutely worthless in so many ways that I decided they shouldn’t be around my kids anyway. Their loss!

No. It is the loss for your kids, you moron!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents are absolutely worthless in so many ways that I decided they shouldn’t be around my kids anyway. Their loss!

No. It is the loss for your kids, you moron!

Clearly not. Boomers are the worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do get a bit annoyed at my boomer parents, who are always on vacation, while I have small children at home, a demanding career, and cannot get enough sleep.

That’s weird. Why would you be annoyed by that? They’re your kids.

They live a life of leisure while I work nonstop. It gets annoying when they want to see the grandkids but cannot watch them for 15 minutes so I can get work done.

Working non stop is likely your choice to fund your lifestyle. Assuming you are making more than minimum wage and not living in a studio apartment in an unsafe area.
They’ve had their years of work. You can live a life of leisure when you retire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do get a bit annoyed at my boomer parents, who are always on vacation, while I have small children at home, a demanding career, and cannot get enough sleep.

That’s weird. Why would you be annoyed by that? They’re your kids.

They live a life of leisure while I work nonstop. It gets annoying when they want to see the grandkids but cannot watch them for 15 minutes so I can get work done.

Working non stop is likely your choice to fund your lifestyle. Assuming you are making more than minimum wage and not living in a studio apartment in an unsafe area.
They’ve had their years of work. You can live a life of leisure when you retire.

Wrong. Work nonstop to support kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do get a bit annoyed at my boomer parents, who are always on vacation, while I have small children at home, a demanding career, and cannot get enough sleep.

That’s weird. Why would you be annoyed by that? They’re your kids.

They live a life of leisure while I work nonstop. It gets annoying when they want to see the grandkids but cannot watch them for 15 minutes so I can get work done.

Working non stop is likely your choice to fund your lifestyle. Assuming you are making more than minimum wage and not living in a studio apartment in an unsafe area.
They’ve had their years of work. You can live a life of leisure when you retire.

Wrong. Work nonstop to support kids.

Chose to have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do get a bit annoyed at my boomer parents, who are always on vacation, while I have small children at home, a demanding career, and cannot get enough sleep.

That’s weird. Why would you be annoyed by that? They’re your kids.

They live a life of leisure while I work nonstop. It gets annoying when they want to see the grandkids but cannot watch them for 15 minutes so I can get work done.

Working non stop is likely your choice to fund your lifestyle. Assuming you are making more than minimum wage and not living in a studio apartment in an unsafe area.
They’ve had their years of work. You can live a life of leisure when you retire.

Wrong. Work nonstop to support kids.

Chose to have kids.

Sure but the actions of my parents have consequences. We cannot stand to be around them since they cannot lift a finger. This is a trend for boomer grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do get a bit annoyed at my boomer parents, who are always on vacation, while I have small children at home, a demanding career, and cannot get enough sleep.

That’s weird. Why would you be annoyed by that? They’re your kids.

They live a life of leisure while I work nonstop. It gets annoying when they want to see the grandkids but cannot watch them for 15 minutes so I can get work done.

Working non stop is likely your choice to fund your lifestyle. Assuming you are making more than minimum wage and not living in a studio apartment in an unsafe area.
They’ve had their years of work. You can live a life of leisure when you retire.

Wrong. Work nonstop to support kids.

Chose to have kids.

Sure but the actions of my parents have consequences. We cannot stand to be around them since they cannot lift a finger. This is a trend for boomer grandparents.

Why did you have kids and what did you really expect?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do get a bit annoyed at my boomer parents, who are always on vacation, while I have small children at home, a demanding career, and cannot get enough sleep.

That’s weird. Why would you be annoyed by that? They’re your kids.

They live a life of leisure while I work nonstop. It gets annoying when they want to see the grandkids but cannot watch them for 15 minutes so I can get work done.

Working non stop is likely your choice to fund your lifestyle. Assuming you are making more than minimum wage and not living in a studio apartment in an unsafe area.
They’ve had their years of work. You can live a life of leisure when you retire.

Wrong. Work nonstop to support kids.

Chose to have kids.

Sure but the actions of my parents have consequences. We cannot stand to be around them since they cannot lift a finger. This is a trend for boomer grandparents.

Why did you have kids and what did you really expect?

We are happy with the kids. We are not happy with the grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do get a bit annoyed at my boomer parents, who are always on vacation, while I have small children at home, a demanding career, and cannot get enough sleep.

That’s weird. Why would you be annoyed by that? They’re your kids.

They live a life of leisure while I work nonstop. It gets annoying when they want to see the grandkids but cannot watch them for 15 minutes so I can get work done.

Working non stop is likely your choice to fund your lifestyle. Assuming you are making more than minimum wage and not living in a studio apartment in an unsafe area.
They’ve had their years of work. You can live a life of leisure when you retire.

Wrong. Work nonstop to support kids.

Chose to have kids.

Sure but the actions of my parents have consequences. We cannot stand to be around them since they cannot lift a finger. This is a trend for boomer grandparents.

Why did you have kids and what did you really expect?

We are happy with the kids. We are not happy with the grandparents.

What did you expect them to do?