Son blind sided by GF

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boyfriend is not serious about the relationship and his mom is a nightmare. Good for her to run away.

Pretty much. At least that's how it seems from this thread. For all we know, its a loving mom, concerned about her kid and his conundrum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, you are a rough crowd, my DS contacted me to discuss. My involvement is just a spectator and loving mom who does not want to see her son unhappy by someone who misrepresented herself. Just wondered how other couples manage this situation and thought this group would comment on that experience.

I am sure his GF will be so happy to hear her boyfriend mom posted about their relationship on dcum. Plus dragged her through mud with insane fake narrative of blindsided????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son has a GF of three years and they were ready to take the next step. He called me bc the GF now wants to move from DC back to her hometown 6 hours away to be with her family and would like him to come. At the outset of the relationship they had aligned their goals and she agreed she like DC and was going to stay, so this was a surprise to him. We get why she wants to move home, but that is not his home, DC is and he has built relationships and friends and a business network here. Additionally she is tight with her family and when there was some misunderstanding with one of her siblings with him (dumb stuff) the GF immediately aligned with her family which makes him uncomfortable following her back to her hometown, knowing his support system there might be shaky. He loved her and imagined a life with her, just not this one. In addition they have travel plans in the next few months and he is trying to figure out if he should just end the relationship now, or do something that may or may not work for him.
I'm just a Mom, but I see danger ahead if he goes, I had a tight family, not anymore, but his unease with this I feel is well founded. I just let him talk it out but was noncommittal, because I already don't think the GF really likes me for a number of reasons but keep that to myself, if they have a family I would never see my grandchildren and I know it.

I dated my BF for two years and when he moved from the midwest to NYC, I quit my job and went with him. We got married two years later. If your son wanted to, he would.

PS--butt out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son has a GF of three years and they were ready to take the next step. He called me bc the GF now wants to move from DC back to her hometown 6 hours away to be w[b]ith her family and would like him to come. At the outset of the relationship they had aligned their goals and she agreed she lik[/b]e DC and was going to stay, so this was a surprise to him. We get why she wants to move home, but that is not his home, DC is and he has built relationships and friends and a business network here. Additionally she is tight with her family and when there was some misunderstanding with one of her siblings with him (dumb stuff) the GF immediately aligned with her family which makes him uncomfortable following her back to her hometown, knowing his support system there might be shaky. He loved her and imagined a life with her, just not this one. In addition they have travel plans in the next few months and he is trying to figure out if he should just end the relationship now, or do something that may or may not work for him.
I'm just a Mom, but I see danger ahead if he goes, I had a tight family, not anymore, but his unease with this I feel is well founded. I just let him talk it out but was noncommittal, because I already don't think the GF really likes me for a number of reasons but keep that to myself, if they have a family I would never see my grandchildren and I know it.

I need clarification on the “and would like him to come”. Is this “I think WE should move here for next stage of life” or I’m moving and I hope you join me? Does she have a job there? Is she moving home for lower housing costs and help with eventual children? Or is this “I can work from anywhere and don’t want to be far from my family anymore” ?

That’s all for son to figure out. Not his mommy.

Who can men ask for advice? Daughters ask for advice all the time.

Their father? Close friends?

Anyone but their mom? That is insane.

This is unfair and sexist. Moms are as capable to give a sound and fair advice as any other adult.

Moms are fine but fathers can provide a different perspective. Close friends are going through the same life stage and can relate as a peer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, you are a rough crowd, my DS contacted me to discuss. My involvement is just a spectator and loving mom who does not want to see her son unhappy by someone who misrepresented herself. Just wondered how other couples manage this situation and thought this group would comment on that experience.

"Misrepresented herself'? Are people not allowed to change their minds? Maybe she is sick of waiting for your son to make a bigger commitment. I would love to hear her side.

Everyone gets a broken heart. He will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, you are a rough crowd, my DS contacted me to discuss. My involvement is just a spectator and loving mom who does not want to see her son unhappy by someone who misrepresented herself. Just wondered how other couples manage this situation and thought this group would comment on that experience.

I am sure his GF will be so happy to hear her boyfriend mom posted about their relationship on dcum. Plus dragged her through mud with insane fake narrative of blindsided????

Unlikely. This is an anonymous forum with posters from all over the US. See the advertising stats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son has a GF of three years and they were ready to take the next step. He called me bc the GF now wants to move from DC back to her hometown 6 hours away to be w[b]ith her family and would like him to come. At the outset of the relationship they had aligned their goals and she agreed she lik[/b]e DC and was going to stay, so this was a surprise to him. We get why she wants to move home, but that is not his home, DC is and he has built relationships and friends and a business network here. Additionally she is tight with her family and when there was some misunderstanding with one of her siblings with him (dumb stuff) the GF immediately aligned with her family which makes him uncomfortable following her back to her hometown, knowing his support system there might be shaky. He loved her and imagined a life with her, just not this one. In addition they have travel plans in the next few months and he is trying to figure out if he should just end the relationship now, or do something that may or may not work for him.
I'm just a Mom, but I see danger ahead if he goes, I had a tight family, not anymore, but his unease with this I feel is well founded. I just let him talk it out but was noncommittal, because I already don't think the GF really likes me for a number of reasons but keep that to myself, if they have a family I would never see my grandchildren and I know it.

I need clarification on the “and would like him to come”. Is this “I think WE should move here for next stage of life” or I’m moving and I hope you join me? Does she have a job there? Is she moving home for lower housing costs and help with eventual children? Or is this “I can work from anywhere and don’t want to be far from my family anymore” ?

That’s all for son to figure out. Not his mommy.

Who can men ask for advice? Daughters ask for advice all the time.

Their father? Close friends?

Anyone but their mom? That is insane.

This is unfair and sexist. Moms are as capable to give a sound and fair advice as any other adult.

Moms are fine but fathers can provide a different perspective. Close friends are going through the same life stage and can relate as a peer.

Friends give a lot of bad advice. Tell you want you want to hear and don't give it to you straight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son has a GF of three years and they were ready to take the next step. He called me bc the GF now wants to move from DC back to her hometown 6 hours away to be w[b]ith her family and would like him to come. At the outset of the relationship they had aligned their goals and she agreed she lik[/b]e DC and was going to stay, so this was a surprise to him. We get why she wants to move home, but that is not his home, DC is and he has built relationships and friends and a business network here. Additionally she is tight with her family and when there was some misunderstanding with one of her siblings with him (dumb stuff) the GF immediately aligned with her family which makes him uncomfortable following her back to her hometown, knowing his support system there might be shaky. He loved her and imagined a life with her, just not this one. In addition they have travel plans in the next few months and he is trying to figure out if he should just end the relationship now, or do something that may or may not work for him.
I'm just a Mom, but I see danger ahead if he goes, I had a tight family, not anymore, but his unease with this I feel is well founded. I just let him talk it out but was noncommittal, because I already don't think the GF really likes me for a number of reasons but keep that to myself, if they have a family I would never see my grandchildren and I know it.

I need clarification on the “and would like him to come”. Is this “I think WE should move here for next stage of life” or I’m moving and I hope you join me? Does she have a job there? Is she moving home for lower housing costs and help with eventual children? Or is this “I can work from anywhere and don’t want to be far from my family anymore” ?

That’s all for son to figure out. Not his mommy.

Who can men ask for advice? Daughters ask for advice all the time.

Their father? Close friends?

Anyone but their mom? That is insane.

This is unfair and sexist. Moms are as capable to give a sound and fair advice as any other adult.

Moms are fine but fathers can provide a different perspective. Close friends are going through the same life stage and can relate as a peer.

Friends give a lot of bad advice. Tell you want you want to hear and don't give it to you straight.

Heh while Mom will tell you you're a prince, a prince, and this no good lying slut had no right to... move home to be close to her family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boyfriend is not serious about the relationship and his mom is a nightmare. Good for her to run away.

She's not running away. She's asking him to move with her. He's the one running away from her with his "cut my losses and drop her now" attitude. Good riddance. She deserves a man who loves her enough to stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son has a GF of three years and they were ready to take the next step. He called me bc the GF now wants to move from DC back to her hometown 6 hours away to be w[b]ith her family and would like him to come. At the outset of the relationship they had aligned their goals and she agreed she lik[/b]e DC and was going to stay, so this was a surprise to him. We get why she wants to move home, but that is not his home, DC is and he has built relationships and friends and a business network here. Additionally she is tight with her family and when there was some misunderstanding with one of her siblings with him (dumb stuff) the GF immediately aligned with her family which makes him uncomfortable following her back to her hometown, knowing his support system there might be shaky. He loved her and imagined a life with her, just not this one. In addition they have travel plans in the next few months and he is trying to figure out if he should just end the relationship now, or do something that may or may not work for him.
I'm just a Mom, but I see danger ahead if he goes, I had a tight family, not anymore, but his unease with this I feel is well founded. I just let him talk it out but was noncommittal, because I already don't think the GF really likes me for a number of reasons but keep that to myself, if they have a family I would never see my grandchildren and I know it.

I need clarification on the “and would like him to come”. Is this “I think WE should move here for next stage of life” or I’m moving and I hope you join me? Does she have a job there? Is she moving home for lower housing costs and help with eventual children? Or is this “I can work from anywhere and don’t want to be far from my family anymore” ?

That’s all for son to figure out. Not his mommy.

Who can men ask for advice? Daughters ask for advice all the time.

Their father? Close friends?

Anyone but their mom? That is insane.

This is unfair and sexist. Moms are as capable to give a sound and fair advice as any other adult.

Moms are fine but fathers can provide a different perspective. Close friends are going through the same life stage and can relate as a peer.

Friends give a lot of bad advice. Tell you want you want to hear and don't give it to you straight.

Maybe your friends do. Mine have always given me unselfish, honest advice.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am glad I gave the group so much satisfaction. Keep on hating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son has a GF of three years and they were ready to take the next step. He called me bc the GF now wants to move from DC back to her hometown 6 hours away to be w[b]ith her family and would like him to come. At the outset of the relationship they had aligned their goals and she agreed she lik[/b]e DC and was going to stay, so this was a surprise to him. We get why she wants to move home, but that is not his home, DC is and he has built relationships and friends and a business network here. Additionally she is tight with her family and when there was some misunderstanding with one of her siblings with him (dumb stuff) the GF immediately aligned with her family which makes him uncomfortable following her back to her hometown, knowing his support system there might be shaky. He loved her and imagined a life with her, just not this one. In addition they have travel plans in the next few months and he is trying to figure out if he should just end the relationship now, or do something that may or may not work for him.
I'm just a Mom, but I see danger ahead if he goes, I had a tight family, not anymore, but his unease with this I feel is well founded. I just let him talk it out but was noncommittal, because I already don't think the GF really likes me for a number of reasons but keep that to myself, if they have a family I would never see my grandchildren and I know it.

I need clarification on the “and would like him to come”. Is this “I think WE should move here for next stage of life” or I’m moving and I hope you join me? Does she have a job there? Is she moving home for lower housing costs and help with eventual children? Or is this “I can work from anywhere and don’t want to be far from my family anymore” ?

That’s all for son to figure out. Not his mommy.

Who can men ask for advice? Daughters ask for advice all the time.

Their father? Close friends?

Anyone but their mom? That is insane.

This is unfair and sexist. Moms are as capable to give a sound and fair advice as any other adult.

Moms are fine but fathers can provide a different perspective. Close friends are going through the same life stage and can relate as a peer.

Friends give a lot of bad advice. Tell you want you want to hear and don't give it to you straight.

Maybe your friends do. Mine have always given me unselfish, honest advice.

You just think they do. Nobody wants tough love or honest advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boyfriend is not serious about the relationship and his mom is a nightmare. Good for her to run away.

Pretty much. At least that's how it seems from this thread. For all we know, its a loving mom, concerned about her kid and his conundrum.

You 2 are psychotic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son has a GF of three years and they were ready to take the next step. He called me bc the GF now wants to move from DC back to her hometown 6 hours away to be w[b]ith her family and would like him to come. At the outset of the relationship they had aligned their goals and she agreed she lik[/b]e DC and was going to stay, so this was a surprise to him. We get why she wants to move home, but that is not his home, DC is and he has built relationships and friends and a business network here. Additionally she is tight with her family and when there was some misunderstanding with one of her siblings with him (dumb stuff) the GF immediately aligned with her family which makes him uncomfortable following her back to her hometown, knowing his support system there might be shaky. He loved her and imagined a life with her, just not this one. In addition they have travel plans in the next few months and he is trying to figure out if he should just end the relationship now, or do something that may or may not work for him.
I'm just a Mom, but I see danger ahead if he goes, I had a tight family, not anymore, but his unease with this I feel is well founded. I just let him talk it out but was noncommittal, because I already don't think the GF really likes me for a number of reasons but keep that to myself, if they have a family I would never see my grandchildren and I know it.

I need clarification on the “and would like him to come”. Is this “I think WE should move here for next stage of life” or I’m moving and I hope you join me? Does she have a job there? Is she moving home for lower housing costs and help with eventual children? Or is this “I can work from anywhere and don’t want to be far from my family anymore” ?

That’s all for son to figure out. Not his mommy.

Who can men ask for advice? Daughters ask for advice all the time.

Their father? Close friends?

Anyone but their mom? That is insane.

This is unfair and sexist. Moms are as capable to give a sound and fair advice as any other adult.

Moms are fine but fathers can provide a different perspective. Close friends are going through the same life stage and can relate as a peer.

Friends give a lot of bad advice. Tell you want you want to hear and don't give it to you straight.

Maybe your friends do. Mine have always given me unselfish, honest advice.

You just think they do. Nobody wants tough love or honest advice.

Sorry you don’t have real friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son has a GF of three years and they were ready to take the next step. He called me bc the GF now wants to move from DC back to her hometown 6 hours away to be w[b]ith her family and would like him to come. At the outset of the relationship they had aligned their goals and she agreed she lik[/b]e DC and was going to stay, so this was a surprise to him. We get why she wants to move home, but that is not his home, DC is and he has built relationships and friends and a business network here. Additionally she is tight with her family and when there was some misunderstanding with one of her siblings with him (dumb stuff) the GF immediately aligned with her family which makes him uncomfortable following her back to her hometown, knowing his support system there might be shaky. He loved her and imagined a life with her, just not this one. In addition they have travel plans in the next few months and he is trying to figure out if he should just end the relationship now, or do something that may or may not work for him.
I'm just a Mom, but I see danger ahead if he goes, I had a tight family, not anymore, but his unease with this I feel is well founded. I just let him talk it out but was noncommittal, because I already don't think the GF really likes me for a number of reasons but keep that to myself, if they have a family I would never see my grandchildren and I know it.

I need clarification on the “and would like him to come”. Is this “I think WE should move here for next stage of life” or I’m moving and I hope you join me? Does she have a job there? Is she moving home for lower housing costs and help with eventual children? Or is this “I can work from anywhere and don’t want to be far from my family anymore” ?

That’s all for son to figure out. Not his mommy.

Who can men ask for advice? Daughters ask for advice all the time.

I really don’t think DS wants advice. He knows that he doesn’t want to go but wants someone on his side. Don’t we all need a little coddling sometime. He knows mom will give it. Of course his GF can change her mind, he knows that, he just wants someone in his side of breakup. And to all those people mocking “mommy” sorry you didn’t have a family that provided your comfort when needed.

It's not that. Your son never really grew up.

You sound like you have no positive adult relationships… so you grew up but not emotionally.