People treating my “big” 8-year-old as much older than she is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My now 11 year old was showing signs of puberty at 8 years old. The doctor said that we didn’t want her to look much older than her peers because she would be treated differently in a negative way.

Three years later she’s growing normally and will remove the hormone blockers soon. She’s now 5’3” and about 105-110 lbs.

I really disagree with this. Not wanting a kid to “look different” is a terrible reason to interfere with their natural development. And it’s only the girls that people worry about.

The doctor didn’t say anything about looking different. It was about being fully developed with a C cup bra and hips in the 3rd grade while managing a period. People would not treat her like a child but she would still act like an child and it would affect her mental health. It’s called Central Precocious Puberty. There are tests involved to determine whether it is necessary to block puberty until age 11 or 12.

More girls are affected by this but boys are treated too. Most cases have no reason found but puberty is starting earlier on average, but sometimes it’s even earlier caused by diet or obesity or ethnicity or genetics.

puberty at 8 is early but within normal range. my DS started to show signs of puberty at 8 and nobody ever suggested it was a problem. This is just something people do to girls based on fear of sexuality, as well as the marketing of puberty supression drugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 8.5 and in 3rd grade. She has always been off the charts in height and 95+ percentile for weight since in the womb.

I’m average size (5’6” & 145 pounds) and her father was a very big man (6’6” and usually around 285-300 pounds). His entire family is the same. Big and tall.

DD is 4’8” already and around 100 pounds. Doctor is not concerned about either as she’s been consistently on the same curve and she’s not overweight.

She eats healthy and plays sports. She doesn’t have an athletic build but excels in the sports she’s interested in (swimming and softball).

She also looks much older despite her personality and interests being like your average 3rd grader. She’s starting to have some signs of puberty but nothing concerning yearly. People often guess she’s 10 or 11 and I’ve noticed if she’s in a group or her peers other adults and even kids often have expectations of her beyond the rest of her classmates. Like they just assume she’s more mature because she looks physically mature.

It’s pretty frustrating and I feel like she’s not allowed to be a little girl. She just wants to play horses and Barbies.

My daughter was about 4’8” in 3rd grade and she wasn’t the only one. She didn’t reach 100 lbs until she was past 5’ tall. She was in the tall end of normal. If she was over 5’ at 8 years old I would get it .

She's 3" taller and 40 lbs heavier than my 5th grade girl. That's a lot of weight and I think a bigger delta than her height.

Your kid is on the small side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 8.5 and in 3rd grade. She has always been off the charts in height and 95+ percentile for weight since in the womb.

I’m average size (5’6” & 145 pounds) and her father was a very big man (6’6” and usually around 285-300 pounds). His entire family is the same. Big and tall.

DD is 4’8” already and around 100 pounds. Doctor is not concerned about either as she’s been consistently on the same curve and she’s not overweight.

She eats healthy and plays sports. She doesn’t have an athletic build but excels in the sports she’s interested in (swimming and softball).

She also looks much older despite her personality and interests being like your average 3rd grader. She’s starting to have some signs of puberty but nothing concerning yearly. People often guess she’s 10 or 11 and I’ve noticed if she’s in a group or her peers other adults and even kids often have expectations of her beyond the rest of her classmates. Like they just assume she’s more mature because she looks physically mature.

It’s pretty frustrating and I feel like she’s not allowed to be a little girl. She just wants to play horses and Barbies.

My daughter was about 4’8” in 3rd grade and she wasn’t the only one. She didn’t reach 100 lbs until she was past 5’ tall. She was in the tall end of normal. If she was over 5’ at 8 years old I would get it .

She's 3" taller and 40 lbs heavier than my 5th grade girl. That's a lot of weight and I think a bigger delta than her height.

Read it carefully. The 100 lbs is when she grew over 5’. Your daughter is on the other side of the chart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is 4’8 considered tall? My ds is 4’11 at 8 and he’s tall but not extraordinary and the girls overall seem to be taller than or equal to boys at this age.

You do not have an 8 year old, or you don’t know his height. 99th percentile at 8.5 years is 54.5” and 59” is way off the charts. And for girls, 99th is 54.8”. If your child was really 4’11” you’d be at an endocrinologist and would know these things.

Right. My 8 year old DD is 55" tall and at least 97th percentile. We get comments all the time that she's sooooooooooo tall. She's young for her grade and taller than most kids in her class except a couple that were held back.

I would be concerned about her weight, OP. My DD is 55" tall and around 80 lbs and technically overweight per BMI (for whatever stock you put in that). I can't imagine her 20 lbs heavier.

Just to clarify here, she is not technically overweight if she is 8 yrs 6 months. She is that close to the cutoff -- a few months makes the difference between overweight and healthy categories for her.

Of course, you and your pediatrician know her best, and of course you don't need to put her exact age here! I'm just noting this because parents sometimes read very closely and extrapolate to their own children.

Not to split hairs, but here is the CDC BMI calculator that indicates overweight, obesity, severe obesity.

https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/bmi/calculator.html

Yes. And I am honestly at a loss as to what hairs you think you are splitting, but maybe I am misreading you.

Here is the calculation from your link for a girl at 55 inches and 80 pounds at 8 years 6 months old. I am highlighting for clarity.

OP’s daughter is 100 pounds, not 80.

I think I weighed 80 pounds in middle school and 100 pounds in high school. 100 in 3rd grade is heavy.

There's the problem, I believe you missed part of the conversation. You can expanded the post thread by clicking on the "click to show earlier posts" tab at the top of the post. I am highlighting in the screengrab below.

Ahh ic. I have the opposite problem of having skinny kids. My DD weighs 46 pounds and is about 4 ft tall. She is in first grade. Even if she grew 5 in, I can’t imagine her weighing double.

I believe pp who thinks her DD is overweight at 80 pounds. She probably isn’t technically overweight but she probably looks chubby next to her classmates the same age. Our school has no fat girls, like none.

I'm PP with the 80 pounder lol. She actually doesn't look chubby at all, but she's not a stick. She's very active and has really muscular legs. She doesn't have a belly at all and her face doesn't look chubby.

I didn’t read all the responses. I thought pp said that you were saying 80 pounds was overweight.

I’m not even sure why I am posting on this thread. My kids are not the same age as OP and I have very thin children. My daughter and all her friends are very thin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is 4’8 considered tall? My ds is 4’11 at 8 and he’s tall but not extraordinary and the girls overall seem to be taller than or equal to boys at this age.

You do not have an 8 year old, or you don’t know his height. 99th percentile at 8.5 years is 54.5” and 59” is way off the charts. And for girls, 99th is 54.8”. If your child was really 4’11” you’d be at an endocrinologist and would know these things.

Right. My 8 year old DD is 55" tall and at least 97th percentile. We get comments all the time that she's sooooooooooo tall. She's young for her grade and taller than most kids in her class except a couple that were held back.

I would be concerned about her weight, OP. My DD is 55" tall and around 80 lbs and technically overweight per BMI (for whatever stock you put in that). I can't imagine her 20 lbs heavier.

Just to clarify here, she is not technically overweight if she is 8 yrs 6 months. She is that close to the cutoff -- a few months makes the difference between overweight and healthy categories for her.

Of course, you and your pediatrician know her best, and of course you don't need to put her exact age here! I'm just noting this because parents sometimes read very closely and extrapolate to their own children.

Not to split hairs, but here is the CDC BMI calculator that indicates overweight, obesity, severe obesity.

https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/bmi/calculator.html

Yes. And I am honestly at a loss as to what hairs you think you are splitting, but maybe I am misreading you.

Here is the calculation from your link for a girl at 55 inches and 80 pounds at 8 years 6 months old. I am highlighting for clarity.

OP’s daughter is 100 pounds, not 80.

I think I weighed 80 pounds in middle school and 100 pounds in high school. 100 in 3rd grade is heavy.

There's the problem, I believe you missed part of the conversation. You can expanded the post thread by clicking on the "click to show earlier posts" tab at the top of the post. I am highlighting in the screengrab below.

Ahh ic. I have the opposite problem of having skinny kids. My DD weighs 46 pounds and is about 4 ft tall. She is in first grade. Even if she grew 5 in, I can’t imagine her weighing double.

I believe pp who thinks her DD is overweight at 80 pounds. She probably isn’t technically overweight but she probably looks chubby next to her classmates the same age. Our school has no fat girls, like none.

I'm PP with the 80 pounder lol. She actually doesn't look chubby at all, but she's not a stick. She's very active and has really muscular legs. She doesn't have a belly at all and her face doesn't look chubby.

I didn’t read all the responses. I thought pp said that you were saying 80 pounds was overweight.

I’m not even sure why I am posting on this thread. My kids are not the same age as OP and I have very thin children. My daughter and all her friends are very thin.

OK?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My now 11 year old was showing signs of puberty at 8 years old. The doctor said that we didn’t want her to look much older than her peers because she would be treated differently in a negative way.

Three years later she’s growing normally and will remove the hormone blockers soon. She’s now 5’3” and about 105-110 lbs.

I really disagree with this. Not wanting a kid to “look different” is a terrible reason to interfere with their natural development. And it’s only the girls that people worry about.

The doctor didn’t say anything about looking different. It was about being fully developed with a C cup bra and hips in the 3rd grade while managing a period. People would not treat her like a child but she would still act like an child and it would affect her mental health. It’s called Central Precocious Puberty. There are tests involved to determine whether it is necessary to block puberty until age 11 or 12.

More girls are affected by this but boys are treated too. Most cases have no reason found but puberty is starting earlier on average, but sometimes it’s even earlier caused by diet or obesity or ethnicity or genetics.

puberty at 8 is early but within normal range. my DS started to show signs of puberty at 8 and nobody ever suggested it was a problem. This is just something people do to girls based on fear of sexuality, as well as the marketing of puberty supression drugs.

Surely you realize that “beginning to show signs” and being a fully developed adolescent with a C cup are not the same.

— DP

[Anonymous]

My recently turned 10 year old is 4’7” and 65 lbs. She looks average compared to her classmates. She has not started puberty yet, but I can see that some of her classmates already have.
Looking at my daughter’s class, the tallest white girls have a very tall dad or are AA (with tallish, but not super tall parents).

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is 4’8 considered tall? My ds is 4’11 at 8 and he’s tall but not extraordinary and the girls overall seem to be taller than or equal to boys at this age.[/quote]

You do not have an 8 year old, or you don’t know his height. 99th percentile at 8.5 years is 54.5” and 59” is way off the charts. And for girls, 99th is 54.8”. If your child was really 4’11” you’d be at an endocrinologist and would know these things.[/quote]

+1.

My DD is 4'10" at 8.5, and she looks like she is a whole head taller than most of her classmates. She stands out as extremely tall.

[Anonymous]

I hear you, OP. Brace yourself. It only gets worse. DD is 11 and looks like she’s 15. I see high schools boys checking her out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is 4’8 considered tall? My ds is 4’11 at 8 and he’s tall but not extraordinary and the girls overall seem to be taller than or equal to boys at this age.

You do not have an 8 year old, or you don’t know his height. 99th percentile at 8.5 years is 54.5” and 59” is way off the charts. And for girls, 99th is 54.8”. If your child was really 4’11” you’d be at an endocrinologist and would know these things.

Right. My 8 year old DD is 55" tall and at least 97th percentile. We get comments all the time that she's sooooooooooo tall. She's young for her grade and taller than most kids in her class except a couple that were held back.

I would be concerned about her weight, OP. My DD is 55" tall and around 80 lbs and technically overweight per BMI (for whatever stock you put in that). I can't imagine her 20 lbs heavier.

Just to clarify here, she is not technically overweight if she is 8 yrs 6 months. She is that close to the cutoff -- a few months makes the difference between overweight and healthy categories for her.

Of course, you and your pediatrician know her best, and of course you don't need to put her exact age here! I'm just noting this because parents sometimes read very closely and extrapolate to their own children.

Not to split hairs, but here is the CDC BMI calculator that indicates overweight, obesity, severe obesity.

https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/bmi/calculator.html

Yes. And I am honestly at a loss as to what hairs you think you are splitting, but maybe I am misreading you.

Here is the calculation from your link for a girl at 55 inches and 80 pounds at 8 years 6 months old. I am highlighting for clarity.

OP’s daughter is 100 pounds, not 80.

I think I weighed 80 pounds in middle school and 100 pounds in high school. 100 in 3rd grade is heavy.

There's the problem, I believe you missed part of the conversation. You can expanded the post thread by clicking on the "click to show earlier posts" tab at the top of the post. I am highlighting in the screengrab below.

Ahh ic. I have the opposite problem of having skinny kids. My DD weighs 46 pounds and is about 4 ft tall. She is in first grade. Even if she grew 5 in, I can’t imagine her weighing double.

I believe pp who thinks her DD is overweight at 80 pounds. She probably isn’t technically overweight but she probably looks chubby next to her classmates the same age. Our school has no fat girls, like none.

I'm PP with the 80 pounder lol. She actually doesn't look chubby at all, but she's not a stick. She's very active and has really muscular legs. She doesn't have a belly at all and her face doesn't look chubby.

I didn’t read all the responses. I thought pp said that you were saying 80 pounds was overweight.

I’m not even sure why I am posting on this thread. My kids are not the same age as OP and I have very thin children. My daughter and all her friends are very thin.

Right. However, although you've posted a few times, I'm not really clear on whether your daughter is very thin, and how skinny all the girls at her school are. Could you comment on that, as I'm sure it will help the OP with her question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My now 11 year old was showing signs of puberty at 8 years old. The doctor said that we didn’t want her to look much older than her peers because she would be treated differently in a negative way.

Three years later she’s growing normally and will remove the hormone blockers soon. She’s now 5’3” and about 105-110 lbs.

I really disagree with this. Not wanting a kid to “look different” is a terrible reason to interfere with their natural development. And it’s only the girls that people worry about.

The doctor didn’t say anything about looking different. It was about being fully developed with a C cup bra and hips in the 3rd grade while managing a period. People would not treat her like a child but she would still act like an child and it would affect her mental health. It’s called Central Precocious Puberty. There are tests involved to determine whether it is necessary to block puberty until age 11 or 12.

More girls are affected by this but boys are treated too. Most cases have no reason found but puberty is starting earlier on average, but sometimes it’s even earlier caused by diet or obesity or ethnicity or genetics.

puberty at 8 is early but within normal range. my DS started to show signs of puberty at 8 and nobody ever suggested it was a problem. This is just something people do to girls based on fear of sexuality, as well as the marketing of puberty supression drugs.

Surely you realize that “beginning to show signs” and being a fully developed adolescent with a C cup are not the same.

— DP

that sounds like a scare tactic. but yes - I think it’s healthier to let a girl develop normally than interfere with her hormones because you are scared of breasts. ask yourself why the number of girls dx’d with “precocious puberty” is many times higher than boys. it’s because we are not scared of boys secondar sex characteristics.

[Anonymous]

Being the tallest girl in elementary is hard. Being overweight/obese as a child is hard. Being both is brutal. Extra weight contributes to early puberty too. I would seriously look at what you can do to get her to a healthier weight so puberty is less likely to come early and for her general health and well being.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is 4’8 considered tall? My ds is 4’11 at 8 and he’s tall but not extraordinary and the girls overall seem to be taller than or equal to boys at this age.[/quote]

You do not have an 8 year old, or you don’t know his height. 99th percentile at 8.5 years is 54.5” and 59” is way off the charts. And for girls, 99th is 54.8”. If your child was really 4’11” you’d be at an endocrinologist and would know these things.[/quote]

+1.

My DD is 4'10" at 8.5, and she looks like she is a whole head taller than most of her classmates. She stands out as extremely tall.

[/quote]

Yeah, you're either confused about your kid's height or age or.... really have your head in the sand. You cannot have a 59" 8 yar old and not realize he is tall. My 8 year old is 53" and easily in the tallest 3rd of her class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 8.5 and in 3rd grade. She has always been off the charts in height and 95+ percentile for weight since in the womb.

I’m average size (5’6” & 145 pounds) and her father was a very big man (6’6” and usually around 285-300 pounds). His entire family is the same. Big and tall.

DD is 4’8” already and around 100 pounds. Doctor is not concerned about either as she’s been consistently on the same curve and she’s not overweight.

She eats healthy and plays sports. She doesn’t have an athletic build but excels in the sports she’s interested in (swimming and softball).

She also looks much older despite her personality and interests being like your average 3rd grader. She’s starting to have some signs of puberty but nothing concerning yearly. People often guess she’s 10 or 11 and I’ve noticed if she’s in a group or her peers other adults and even kids often have expectations of her beyond the rest of her classmates. Like they just assume she’s more mature because she looks physically mature.

It’s pretty frustrating and I feel like she’s not allowed to be a little girl. She just wants to play horses and Barbies.

My daughter was about 4’8” in 3rd grade and she wasn’t the only one. She didn’t reach 100 lbs until she was past 5’ tall. She was in the tall end of normal. If she was over 5’ at 8 years old I would get it .

She's 3" taller and 40 lbs heavier than my 5th grade girl. That's a lot of weight and I think a bigger delta than her height.

Read it carefully. The 100 lbs is when she grew over 5’. Your daughter is on the other side of the chart.

OP's daughter is 4'8" and over 100lbs. You need to go reread the OP. I wasn't talking about your daughter.

I maintain that the OP's daughter's weight is a bigger issue than her height. And that's something that can be influenced with more activity and a healthy diet.

[Anonymous]

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