People treating my “big” 8-year-old as much older than she is

[Anonymous]

I wish my sons were built like OP’s DD. We can’t get them to gain weight. My 12yo son weighs 85 pounds at 5’1”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is 4’8 considered tall? My ds is 4’11 at 8 and he’s tall but not extraordinary and the girls overall seem to be taller than or equal to boys at this age.

You do not have an 8 year old, or you don’t know his height. 99th percentile at 8.5 years is 54.5” and 59” is way off the charts. And for girls, 99th is 54.8”. If your child was really 4’11” you’d be at an endocrinologist and would know these things.

Right. My 8 year old DD is 55" tall and at least 97th percentile. We get comments all the time that she's sooooooooooo tall. She's young for her grade and taller than most kids in her class except a couple that were held back.

I would be concerned about her weight, OP. My DD is 55" tall and around 80 lbs and technically overweight per BMI (for whatever stock you put in that). I can't imagine her 20 lbs heavier.

Just to clarify here, she is not technically overweight if she is 8 yrs 6 months. She is that close to the cutoff -- a few months makes the difference between overweight and healthy categories for her.

Of course, you and your pediatrician know her best, and of course you don't need to put her exact age here! I'm just noting this because parents sometimes read very closely and extrapolate to their own children.

Not to split hairs, but here is the CDC BMI calculator that indicates overweight, obesity, severe obesity.

https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/bmi/calculator.html

Yes. And I am honestly at a loss as to what hairs you think you are splitting, but maybe I am misreading you.

Here is the calculation from your link for a girl at 55 inches and 80 pounds at 8 years 6 months old. I am highlighting for clarity.

OP’s daughter is 100 pounds, not 80.

I think I weighed 80 pounds in middle school and 100 pounds in high school. 100 in 3rd grade is heavy.

There's the problem, I believe you missed part of the conversation. You can expanded the post thread by clicking on the "click to show earlier posts" tab at the top of the post. I am highlighting in the screengrab below.

[Anonymous]

^^"Click to show earlier quotes"

[Anonymous]

I feel this so much.

My 8 year old is also super tall and gets treated like an older tween. This becomes especially obvious when she’s with her best friend who is roughly a head shorter AND 6 months older. It makes me sad but I don’t know what to do about it. Her friend being her regular 8 year old goofy self gets a completely different reaction than when my daughter acts the same way.

The part that hurts the most is when others assume she’s past her little kid interests just because she’s tall.

I hate it so much. This has been going on since she was a toddler.

[Anonymous]

She has a pediatrician who knows the child much better than any of you, so stop opining on her weight and health. It does not address OP's question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is 4’8 considered tall? My ds is 4’11 at 8 and he’s tall but not extraordinary and the girls overall seem to be taller than or equal to boys at this age.

You do not have an 8 year old, or you don’t know his height. 99th percentile at 8.5 years is 54.5” and 59” is way off the charts. And for girls, 99th is 54.8”. If your child was really 4’11” you’d be at an endocrinologist and would know these things.

Right. My 8 year old DD is 55" tall and at least 97th percentile. We get comments all the time that she's sooooooooooo tall. She's young for her grade and taller than most kids in her class except a couple that were held back.

I would be concerned about her weight, OP. My DD is 55" tall and around 80 lbs and technically overweight per BMI (for whatever stock you put in that). I can't imagine her 20 lbs heavier.

Just to clarify here, she is not technically overweight if she is 8 yrs 6 months. She is that close to the cutoff -- a few months makes the difference between overweight and healthy categories for her.

Of course, you and your pediatrician know her best, and of course you don't need to put her exact age here! I'm just noting this because parents sometimes read very closely and extrapolate to their own children.

Not to split hairs, but here is the CDC BMI calculator that indicates overweight, obesity, severe obesity.

https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/bmi/calculator.html

Yes. And I am honestly at a loss as to what hairs you think you are splitting, but maybe I am misreading you.

Here is the calculation from your link for a girl at 55 inches and 80 pounds at 8 years 6 months old. I am highlighting for clarity.

OP’s daughter is 100 pounds, not 80.

I think I weighed 80 pounds in middle school and 100 pounds in high school. 100 in 3rd grade is heavy.

There's the problem, I believe you missed part of the conversation. You can expanded the post thread by clicking on the "click to show earlier posts" tab at the top of the post. I am highlighting in the screengrab below.

Ahh ic. I have the opposite problem of having skinny kids. My DD weighs 46 pounds and is about 4 ft tall. She is in first grade. Even if she grew 5 in, I can’t imagine her weighing double.

I believe pp who thinks her DD is overweight at 80 pounds. She probably isn’t technically overweight but she probably looks chubby next to her classmates the same age. Our school has no fat girls, like none.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is 4’8 considered tall? My ds is 4’11 at 8 and he’s tall but not extraordinary and the girls overall seem to be taller than or equal to boys at this age.

You do not have an 8 year old, or you don’t know his height. 99th percentile at 8.5 years is 54.5” and 59” is way off the charts. And for girls, 99th is 54.8”. If your child was really 4’11” you’d be at an endocrinologist and would know these things.

Right. My 8 year old DD is 55" tall and at least 97th percentile. We get comments all the time that she's sooooooooooo tall. She's young for her grade and taller than most kids in her class except a couple that were held back.

I would be concerned about her weight, OP. My DD is 55" tall and around 80 lbs and technically overweight per BMI (for whatever stock you put in that). I can't imagine her 20 lbs heavier.

Just to clarify here, she is not technically overweight if she is 8 yrs 6 months. She is that close to the cutoff -- a few months makes the difference between overweight and healthy categories for her.

Of course, you and your pediatrician know her best, and of course you don't need to put her exact age here! I'm just noting this because parents sometimes read very closely and extrapolate to their own children.

Not to split hairs, but here is the CDC BMI calculator that indicates overweight, obesity, severe obesity.

https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/bmi/calculator.html

Yes. And I am honestly at a loss as to what hairs you think you are splitting, but maybe I am misreading you.

Here is the calculation from your link for a girl at 55 inches and 80 pounds at 8 years 6 months old. I am highlighting for clarity.

OP’s daughter is 100 pounds, not 80.

I think I weighed 80 pounds in middle school and 100 pounds in high school. 100 in 3rd grade is heavy.

There's the problem, I believe you missed part of the conversation. You can expanded the post thread by clicking on the "click to show earlier posts" tab at the top of the post. I am highlighting in the screengrab below.

Oh, so you aren’t referring to OP’s kid then, rather to another poster’s child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She has a pediatrician who knows the child much better than any of you, so stop opining on her weight and health. It does not address OP's question.

Pediatricians don’t want to discuss weight with mothers. Especially if they kid is overweight/obese bc mom gets offended and writes a bad review

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is 4’8 considered tall? My ds is 4’11 at 8 and he’s tall but not extraordinary and the girls overall seem to be taller than or equal to boys at this age.

You do not have an 8 year old, or you don’t know his height. 99th percentile at 8.5 years is 54.5” and 59” is way off the charts. And for girls, 99th is 54.8”. If your child was really 4’11” you’d be at an endocrinologist and would know these things.

Right. My 8 year old DD is 55" tall and at least 97th percentile. We get comments all the time that she's sooooooooooo tall. She's young for her grade and taller than most kids in her class except a couple that were held back.

I would be concerned about her weight, OP. My DD is 55" tall and around 80 lbs and technically overweight per BMI (for whatever stock you put in that). I can't imagine her 20 lbs heavier.

Just to clarify here, she is not technically overweight if she is 8 yrs 6 months. She is that close to the cutoff -- a few months makes the difference between overweight and healthy categories for her.

Of course, you and your pediatrician know her best, and of course you don't need to put her exact age here! I'm just noting this because parents sometimes read very closely and extrapolate to their own children.

Not to split hairs, but here is the CDC BMI calculator that indicates overweight, obesity, severe obesity.

https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/bmi/calculator.html

Yes. And I am honestly at a loss as to what hairs you think you are splitting, but maybe I am misreading you.

Here is the calculation from your link for a girl at 55 inches and 80 pounds at 8 years 6 months old. I am highlighting for clarity.

OP’s daughter is 100 pounds, not 80.

I think I weighed 80 pounds in middle school and 100 pounds in high school. 100 in 3rd grade is heavy.

There's the problem, I believe you missed part of the conversation. You can expanded the post thread by clicking on the "click to show earlier posts" tab at the top of the post. I am highlighting in the screengrab below.

Oh, so you aren’t referring to OP’s kid then, rather to another poster’s child

Yes, the posts in a thead as above work this way -- the post that is below is in response to the post above, which was quoted at the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She has a pediatrician who knows the child much better than any of you, so stop opining on her weight and health. It does not address OP's question.

Pediatricians don’t want to discuss weight with mothers. Especially if they kid is overweight/obese bc mom gets offended and writes a bad review

That is so not true, pediatricians and family doctors have no qualms about flagging and discussing weight concerns with children or adults. It's one of the most common things they do. Parents don't write bad reviews when things are flagged, they write bad reviews when they aren't flagged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She has a pediatrician who knows the child much better than any of you, so stop opining on her weight and health. It does not address OP's question.

Pediatricians don’t want to discuss weight with mothers. Especially if they kid is overweight/obese bc mom gets offended and writes a bad review

That is so not true, pediatricians and family doctors have no qualms about flagging and discussing weight concerns with children or adults. It's one of the most common things they do. Parents don't write bad reviews when things are flagged, they write bad reviews when they aren't flagged.

Well, considering OP’s doctor has never once brought up that her child is overweight, and has entered into clinical obese category, clearly not all Drs want to discuss it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She has a pediatrician who knows the child much better than any of you, so stop opining on her weight and health. It does not address OP's question.

Pediatricians don’t want to discuss weight with mothers. Especially if they kid is overweight/obese bc mom gets offended and writes a bad review

That is so not true, pediatricians and family doctors have no qualms about flagging and discussing weight concerns with children or adults. It's one of the most common things they do. Parents don't write bad reviews when things are flagged, they write bad reviews when they aren't flagged.

Well, considering OP’s doctor has never once brought up that her child is overweight, and has entered into clinical obese category, clearly not all Drs want to discuss it.

And how do you know this child is not very muscular?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is 4’8 considered tall? My ds is 4’11 at 8 and he’s tall but not extraordinary and the girls overall seem to be taller than or equal to boys at this age.

You do not have an 8 year old, or you don’t know his height. 99th percentile at 8.5 years is 54.5” and 59” is way off the charts. And for girls, 99th is 54.8”. If your child was really 4’11” you’d be at an endocrinologist and would know these things.

Right. My 8 year old DD is 55" tall and at least 97th percentile. We get comments all the time that she's sooooooooooo tall. She's young for her grade and taller than most kids in her class except a couple that were held back.

I would be concerned about her weight, OP. My DD is 55" tall and around 80 lbs and technically overweight per BMI (for whatever stock you put in that). I can't imagine her 20 lbs heavier.

Just to clarify here, she is not technically overweight if she is 8 yrs 6 months. She is that close to the cutoff -- a few months makes the difference between overweight and healthy categories for her.

Of course, you and your pediatrician know her best, and of course you don't need to put her exact age here! I'm just noting this because parents sometimes read very closely and extrapolate to their own children.

Not to split hairs, but here is the CDC BMI calculator that indicates overweight, obesity, severe obesity.

https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/bmi/calculator.html

Yes. And I am honestly at a loss as to what hairs you think you are splitting, but maybe I am misreading you.

Here is the calculation from your link for a girl at 55 inches and 80 pounds at 8 years 6 months old. I am highlighting for clarity.

OP’s daughter is 100 pounds, not 80.

I think I weighed 80 pounds in middle school and 100 pounds in high school. 100 in 3rd grade is heavy.

There's the problem, I believe you missed part of the conversation. You can expanded the post thread by clicking on the "click to show earlier posts" tab at the top of the post. I am highlighting in the screengrab below.

Ahh ic. I have the opposite problem of having skinny kids. My DD weighs 46 pounds and is about 4 ft tall. She is in first grade. Even if she grew 5 in, I can’t imagine her weighing double.

I believe pp who thinks her DD is overweight at 80 pounds. She probably isn’t technically overweight but she probably looks chubby next to her classmates the same age. Our school has no fat girls, like none.

I'm PP with the 80 pounder lol. She actually doesn't look chubby at all, but she's not a stick. She's very active and has really muscular legs. She doesn't have a belly at all and her face doesn't look chubby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is 8.5 and in 3rd grade. She has always been off the charts in height and 95+ percentile for weight since in the womb.

I’m average size (5’6” & 145 pounds) and her father was a very big man (6’6” and usually around 285-300 pounds). His entire family is the same. Big and tall.

DD is 4’8” already and around 100 pounds. Doctor is not concerned about either as she’s been consistently on the same curve and she’s not overweight.

She eats healthy and plays sports. She doesn’t have an athletic build but excels in the sports she’s interested in (swimming and softball).

She also looks much older despite her personality and interests being like your average 3rd grader. She’s starting to have some signs of puberty but nothing concerning yearly. People often guess she’s 10 or 11 and I’ve noticed if she’s in a group or her peers other adults and even kids often have expectations of her beyond the rest of her classmates. Like they just assume she’s more mature because she looks physically mature.

It’s pretty frustrating and I feel like she’s not allowed to be a little girl. She just wants to play horses and Barbies.

My daughter was about 4’8” in 3rd grade and she wasn’t the only one. She didn’t reach 100 lbs until she was past 5’ tall. She was in the tall end of normal. If she was over 5’ at 8 years old I would get it .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 8.5 and in 3rd grade. She has always been off the charts in height and 95+ percentile for weight since in the womb.

I’m average size (5’6” & 145 pounds) and her father was a very big man (6’6” and usually around 285-300 pounds). His entire family is the same. Big and tall.

DD is 4’8” already and around 100 pounds. Doctor is not concerned about either as she’s been consistently on the same curve and she’s not overweight.

She eats healthy and plays sports. She doesn’t have an athletic build but excels in the sports she’s interested in (swimming and softball).

She also looks much older despite her personality and interests being like your average 3rd grader. She’s starting to have some signs of puberty but nothing concerning yearly. People often guess she’s 10 or 11 and I’ve noticed if she’s in a group or her peers other adults and even kids often have expectations of her beyond the rest of her classmates. Like they just assume she’s more mature because she looks physically mature.

It’s pretty frustrating and I feel like she’s not allowed to be a little girl. She just wants to play horses and Barbies.

My daughter was about 4’8” in 3rd grade and she wasn’t the only one. She didn’t reach 100 lbs until she was past 5’ tall. She was in the tall end of normal. If she was over 5’ at 8 years old I would get it .

She's 3" taller and 40 lbs heavier than my 5th grade girl. That's a lot of weight and I think a bigger delta than her height.