People treating my “big” 8-year-old as much older than she is
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| OP, it's wonderful that your DD is tall. It may be hard in the early years as people are just SO ignorant (even the 'educated' ones in the DMV), but don't worry, your DD will have the last laugh later in life when she's looking down on all the short women and men. Hahahahahah! |
Anonymous
She is not obese or even overweight. Is she a thin kid? No. He’d BMI is on the high end of healthy. Our doctor is not concerned. She has had these proportions literally since and probably always will. I’m not worried about her weight and I won’t shame my daughter for a body she has. |
Anonymous
The doctor didn’t say anything about looking different. It was about being fully developed with a C cup bra and hips in the 3rd grade while managing a period. People would not treat her like a child but she would still act like an child and it would affect her mental health. It’s called Central Precocious Puberty. There are tests involved to determine whether it is necessary to block puberty until age 11 or 12. More girls are affected by this but boys are treated too. Most cases have no reason found but puberty is starting earlier on average, but sometimes it’s even earlier caused by diet or obesity or ethnicity or genetics. |
Anonymous
NP. What else did you get totally wrong? 
https://www.cdc.gov/obesity/basics/childhood-defining.html And she's at 96%, not 97%, given the numbers. 
https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/bmi/calculator.html However, OP wrote "around 100 pounds." She might be 95 or 96, and even just at 93 pounds, she would not be in the obese category anymore. That's not "in the obese category by a significant amount." Obesity is a technically defined term and generally doesn't mean what people think it means -- however, you aren't even technically right. Go pound sand, PP, and drop this. You have no idea what you are talking about. |
Anonymous
The data OP gave does indicate she is obese. “About 100 lbs” could also mean over 100 lbs. OP cannot to anything about her child’s height or how people react to it. But she can help her to slow down her weight gain. |
Anonymous
The PP state -- and I quote exactly -- "She is in these obese category by significant amount. BMI over >85th percentile is considered obese and she is at 97th percentile" Literally none of these thigs is true. Is the child in the obese category? Probably, even if that doesn't necessarily mean what people think it means. But PP is wrong on every count there, despite speaking with the certainty and aggression you'd expect from someone who actually got things right. |
Anonymous
It’s not only the girls. Plenty of people of people post here worrying about their short boys. Recently a mom posted about her balding college son. Parents always worry about their kids being different, though I’m not advocating taking extreme measures to avoid it. |
Anonymous
Right. My 8 year old DD is 55" tall and at least 97th percentile. We get comments all the time that she's sooooooooooo tall. She's young for her grade and taller than most kids in her class except a couple that were held back. I would be concerned about her weight, OP. My DD is 55" tall and around 80 lbs and technically overweight per BMI (for whatever stock you put in that). I can't imagine her 20 lbs heavier. |
Anonymous
Just to clarify here, she is not technically overweight if she is 8 yrs 6 months. She is that close to the cutoff -- a few months makes the difference between overweight and healthy categories for her. Of course, you and your pediatrician know her best, and of course you don't need to put her exact age here! I'm just noting this because parents sometimes read very closely and extrapolate to their own children. |
Anonymous
OP, my family is built this way and it does really help to be active. Sports like running and swimming help us match our proportions to our height. You might try swim team or Girls on the Run for her. Being fit and trim may help her confidence as she heads into puberty as the "tall kid." Nothing drastic, just healthy activities that can carry through adulthood. |
Anonymous
Not to split hairs, but here is the CDC BMI calculator that indicates overweight, obesity, severe obesity. https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/bmi/calculator.html |
Anonymous
|
PS: I'm the pediatrician who posted the calculations above for PP's kid and OP's kid (just so you I can identify myself for multiple posts).
These categories are clearly and neatly defined. That helps for making predictions and identifying risk -- to talk about risks, you first have to talk about groups of people, and to do that, you have to identify them. "Overweight" and "obese" are clinically defined categories. They have sharp lines. As a clinical assessment, they don't come with "buts" and "not reallys" -- the edges are precise, unlike life. That's because they are clinical constructs. They are very useful as flags to clinicians (and parents) to take a closer look at a situation, but they don't directly correlate to judgements about good and bad behavior. We know -- and get reminded in these threads all the time -- that BMI isn't a great predictor or assessment at the granular level ("severe" obesity is different, but we are talking about the standard overweight and obese categories). But these are broad categories, and someone who is doing well can exist at those edges. Body phenotype is so varied. You can have a child in the "obese" category who looks physically fit, who can be doing just fine even if not an Olympic athlete, and who does not need to make changes. The "obese" category is the flag to look closer at the details and think about actual risk. - Do we have an increasing rate of overweight, obese, and severely obese children in the US? Yes. - If a child falls into the overweight or obese category, should that prompt further assessment and discussion? Yes. - Is the mental picture you form of a child *just* based on the fact that they fall into the "overweight" or "obese" category going to be accurate? Probably not, because the phenotype varies so broadly. (Again, I am excepting "severe obesity" from these comments, because that is a different range of the chart and not as subject tot his sort of variability.) I do think it's fair gently to suggest that a parent check in with their child's pediatrician if they are posting numbers that calculate out to underweight (also risky), overweight, or obese. The granularity of focus with more details of a particular child in a particular context is warranted. But if that's already happening -- look, we all are harsh enough on each other, and the world has enough bullies already. Don't be a dick. If you are worried, suggest once that there be a conversation with a pediatrician and then drop that. Past that, it's diminishing returns, and it's also pretty mean. Regardless, please also make the effort to be correct in your calculations and in your reference to the categories. People are doing damage by being wrong, and it's so easy to get it correct. The definitions are precise and clear. |
Anonymous
Yes. And I am honestly at a loss as to what hairs you think you are splitting, but maybe I am misreading you. Here is the calculation from your link for a girl at 55 inches and 80 pounds at 8 years 6 months old. I am highlighting for clarity. 
|
Anonymous
| This is my DD. She is now 11 and is routine confused for a younger teenager. She has gone through puberty before all her friends but that's just life. Its always a little shocking when I see her with her friends because they all look like little kids to me since my perspective is skewed. Her pediatrician has never been concerned about her weight/height or progress. My biggest concern is the attention she gets from older boys. She had a boy ask her for her snap chat this summer at our pool - she responded "I'm 11 and I don't have a phone." Kind of funny but also I wish she didn't have to deal with that kind of attention so early. |
Anonymous
OP’s daughter is 100 pounds, not 80. I think I weighed 80 pounds in middle school and 100 pounds in high school. 100 in 3rd grade is heavy. |