41M too old for LTR with me (26F)?

[Anonymous]

Too old. Is he controlling? Why doesn’t he want someone his age? That’s a red flag to me.

[Anonymous]

Yes too much of an age gap when you're only 26. I know it doesn't seem like it now but 26 is very young and it's concerning when an older man goes after somebody that young. Your family and friends are looking out for you. Normal middle-aged men are attracted to younger women, sure, but would rather be in a relationship with somebody closer to their own age.

On the other hand, a lot of millennial men suck. They want a wife to be a modern women and bring in 50% of the income, but they also want her to be like like their mothers who did all the housekeeping and childcare. Maybe a 41-year old man (yes I know technically a millennial but still) would't be like that as much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh honey, the world is your oyster. You are young, you are done with kids, your kid is past the daycare years. Now is the time to build a career, whether you choose to go to college or another route. You have tons of time and way less pressure to keep dating and find just the right fit. Don’t chain yourself to a middle aged guy with 3 kids. He has been there, done that.

This is BS. She is young but the world isn’t her oyster lol. She’s undereducated and has baggage ie her kid. Do you really think she has the money or free time to go to college or do something other than a menial job? This 41 year old might be one of the better options she has going on.

Whatever you do don't listen to clowns like this who don't want you to do better and want to shame you and punish you for being a single mom.

+1000

So many single moms go to college degrees and great jobs! I went to college with many of them. And even if you don't, that doesn't mean you have to settle. Nothing is wrong with being a single mom without a college degree. Nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh honey, the world is your oyster. You are young, you are done with kids, your kid is past the daycare years. Now is the time to build a career, whether you choose to go to college or another route. You have tons of time and way less pressure to keep dating and find just the right fit. Don’t chain yourself to a middle aged guy with 3 kids. He has been there, done that.

This is BS. She is young but the world isn’t her oyster lol. She’s undereducated and has baggage ie her kid. Do you really think she has the money or free time to go to college or do something other than a menial job? This 41 year old might be one of the better options she has going on.

Whatever you do don't listen to clowns like this who don't want you to do better and want to shame you and punish you for being a single mom.

+1000

So many single moms go to college degrees and great jobs! I went to college with many of them. And even if you don't, that doesn't mean you have to settle. Nothing is wrong with being a single mom without a college degree. Nothing.

She’s better served not listening to fools like you and PP who don’t live in reality. She’s 26 with no education and a kid. Who will take care of her kid if she goes to college? Unless she has someone willing to do free childcare, she’ll accumulate childcare expenses in addition to the loans for college. By then, she’ll be 30 with huge debt and the bare minimum education for a professional job. It will take years to dig herself out at that point.

The issue isn’t her being a single mom. It’s having a kid early 20’s when your family isn’t rich and supportive and you weren’t even able to complete a basic schooling requirement. Even OP knows this-that’s why she’s dating a 41 yr old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh honey, the world is your oyster. You are young, you are done with kids, your kid is past the daycare years. Now is the time to build a career, whether you choose to go to college or another route. You have tons of time and way less pressure to keep dating and find just the right fit. Don’t chain yourself to a middle aged guy with 3 kids. He has been there, done that.

This is BS. She is young but the world isn’t her oyster lol. She’s undereducated and has baggage ie her kid. Do you really think she has the money or free time to go to college or do something other than a menial job? This 41 year old might be one of the better options she has going on.

Whatever you do don't listen to clowns like this who don't want you to do better and want to shame you and punish you for being a single mom.

+1000

So many single moms go to college degrees and great jobs! I went to college with many of them. And even if you don't, that doesn't mean you have to settle. Nothing is wrong with being a single mom without a college degree. Nothing.

She’s better served not listening to fools like you and PP who don’t live in reality. She’s 26 with no education and a kid. Who will take care of her kid if she goes to college? Unless she has someone willing to do free childcare, she’ll accumulate childcare expenses in addition to the loans for college. By then, she’ll be 30 with huge debt and the bare minimum education for a professional job. It will take years to dig herself out at that point.

The issue isn’t her being a single mom. It’s having a kid early 20’s when your family isn’t rich and supportive and you weren’t even able to complete a basic schooling requirement. Even OP knows this-that’s why she’s dating a 41 yr old.

She already resolved the child care issue - read - she lives with her parents. Doesn’t need to put out for a 41 yo man for that. And it’s unclear how HE would assist with HER child if he already has 3 of his own. He’s not super wealthy

She can also get an online accounting degree or similar (from Nova for example). That would be zero college debt and a stable profession in 4 years from now.

I see no point for her to date this guy at all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s less about the age gap than it is about who actually wants to sign up for an old divorcee with 3 kids? You can’t do any better than that?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh honey, the world is your oyster. You are young, you are done with kids, your kid is past the daycare years. Now is the time to build a career, whether you choose to go to college or another route. You have tons of time and way less pressure to keep dating and find just the right fit. Don’t chain yourself to a middle aged guy with 3 kids. He has been there, done that.

This is BS. She is young but the world isn’t her oyster lol. She’s undereducated and has baggage ie her kid. Do you really think she has the money or free time to go to college or do something other than a menial job? This 41 year old might be one of the better options she has going on.

Whatever you do don't listen to clowns like this who don't want you to do better and want to shame you and punish you for being a single mom.

+1000

So many single moms go to college degrees and great jobs! I went to college with many of them. And even if you don't, that doesn't mean you have to settle. Nothing is wrong with being a single mom without a college degree. Nothing.

She’s better served not listening to fools like you and PP who don’t live in reality. She’s 26 with no education and a kid. Who will take care of her kid if she goes to college? Unless she has someone willing to do free childcare, she’ll accumulate childcare expenses in addition to the loans for college. By then, she’ll be 30 with huge debt and the bare minimum education for a professional job. It will take years to dig herself out at that point.

The issue isn’t her being a single mom. It’s having a kid early 20’s when your family isn’t rich and supportive and you weren’t even able to complete a basic schooling requirement. Even OP knows this-that’s why she’s dating a 41 yr old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Too old. Is he controlling? Why doesn’t he want someone his age? That’s a red flag to me.

Why doesn't he want someone his age? Because he can get someone who is younger, hotter, and tighter. The red flag would be if he is forced to date someone just like him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh honey, the world is your oyster. You are young, you are done with kids, your kid is past the daycare years. Now is the time to build a career, whether you choose to go to college or another route. You have tons of time and way less pressure to keep dating and find just the right fit. Don’t chain yourself to a middle aged guy with 3 kids. He has been there, done that.

This is BS. She is young but the world isn’t her oyster lol. She’s undereducated and has baggage ie her kid. Do you really think she has the money or free time to go to college or do something other than a menial job? This 41 year old might be one of the better options she has going on.

Whatever you do don't listen to clowns like this who don't want you to do better and want to shame you and punish you for being a single mom.

+1000

So many single moms go to college degrees and great jobs! I went to college with many of them. And even if you don't, that doesn't mean you have to settle. Nothing is wrong with being a single mom without a college degree. Nothing.

She’s better served not listening to fools like you and PP who don’t live in reality. She’s 26 with no education and a kid. Who will take care of her kid if she goes to college? Unless she has someone willing to do free childcare, she’ll accumulate childcare expenses in addition to the loans for college. By then, she’ll be 30 with huge debt and the bare minimum education for a professional job. It will take years to dig herself out at that point.

The issue isn’t her being a single mom. It’s having a kid early 20’s when your family isn’t rich and supportive and you weren’t even able to complete a basic schooling requirement. Even OP knows this-that’s why she’s dating a 41 yr old.

She already resolved the child care issue - read - she lives with her parents. Doesn’t need to put out for a 41 yo man for that. And it’s unclear how HE would assist with HER child if he already has 3 of his own. He’s not super wealthy

She can also get an online accounting degree or similar (from Nova for example). That would be zero college debt and a stable profession in 4 years from now.

I see no point for her to date this guy at all!

NOVA isn't free. No guarantee of zero debt if she goes to NOVA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh honey, the world is your oyster. You are young, you are done with kids, your kid is past the daycare years. Now is the time to build a career, whether you choose to go to college or another route. You have tons of time and way less pressure to keep dating and find just the right fit. Don’t chain yourself to a middle aged guy with 3 kids. He has been there, done that.

This is BS. She is young but the world isn’t her oyster lol. She’s undereducated and has baggage ie her kid. Do you really think she has the money or free time to go to college or do something other than a menial job? This 41 year old might be one of the better options she has going on.

Whatever you do don't listen to clowns like this who don't want you to do better and want to shame you and punish you for being a single mom.

+1000

So many single moms go to college degrees and great jobs! I went to college with many of them. And even if you don't, that doesn't mean you have to settle. Nothing is wrong with being a single mom without a college degree. Nothing.

She’s better served not listening to fools like you and PP who don’t live in reality. She’s 26 with no education and a kid. Who will take care of her kid if she goes to college? Unless she has someone willing to do free childcare, she’ll accumulate childcare expenses in addition to the loans for college. By then, she’ll be 30 with huge debt and the bare minimum education for a professional job. It will take years to dig herself out at that point.

The issue isn’t her being a single mom. It’s having a kid early 20’s when your family isn’t rich and supportive and you weren’t even able to complete a basic schooling requirement. Even OP knows this-that’s why she’s dating a 41 yr old.

She already resolved the child care issue - read - she lives with her parents. Doesn’t need to put out for a 41 yo man for that. And it’s unclear how HE would assist with HER child if he already has 3 of his own. He’s not super wealthy

She can also get an online accounting degree or similar (from Nova for example). That would be zero college debt and a stable profession in 4 years from now.

I see no point for her to date this guy at all!

NOVA isn't free. No guarantee of zero debt if she goes to NOVA.

It’s dirt cheap

[Anonymous]

Find hot guys to hookup with not some gross divorcee.

[Anonymous]

A lot of younger males will not find a 26 year old with a 3 year old attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh honey, the world is your oyster. You are young, you are done with kids, your kid is past the daycare years. Now is the time to build a career, whether you choose to go to college or another route. You have tons of time and way less pressure to keep dating and find just the right fit. Don’t chain yourself to a middle aged guy with 3 kids. He has been there, done that.

This is BS. She is young but the world isn’t her oyster lol. She’s undereducated and has baggage ie her kid. Do you really think she has the money or free time to go to college or do something other than a menial job? This 41 year old might be one of the better options she has going on.

Whatever you do don't listen to clowns like this who don't want you to do better and want to shame you and punish you for being a single mom.

+1000

So many single moms go to college degrees and great jobs! I went to college with many of them. And even if you don't, that doesn't mean you have to settle. Nothing is wrong with being a single mom without a college degree. Nothing.

She’s better served not listening to fools like you and PP who don’t live in reality. She’s 26 with no education and a kid. Who will take care of her kid if she goes to college? Unless she has someone willing to do free childcare, she’ll accumulate childcare expenses in addition to the loans for college. By then, she’ll be 30 with huge debt and the bare minimum education for a professional job. It will take years to dig herself out at that point.

The issue isn’t her being a single mom. It’s having a kid early 20’s when your family isn’t rich and supportive and you weren’t even able to complete a basic schooling requirement. Even OP knows this-that’s why she’s dating a 41 yr old.

She already resolved the child care issue - read - she lives with her parents. Doesn’t need to put out for a 41 yo man for that. And it’s unclear how HE would assist with HER child if he already has 3 of his own. He’s not super wealthy

She can also get an online accounting degree or similar (from Nova for example). That would be zero college debt and a stable profession in 4 years from now.

I see no point for her to date this guy at all!

NOVA isn't free. No guarantee of zero debt if she goes to NOVA.

It’s dirt cheap

+1.

My aunt did this as a 33 year old single mom. She got her bachelors in nursing and is now a Nurse Practitioner. She makes about 130K a year, and she and her kid are doing very well. There were about 3 rough years, but she had help from family and she powered through.

She is about 50 years old now and dates other 50 year old men. She just broke up with a handsome 50 year old due to long distance. Her dating life is just fine.

This guy cannot provide for OP. He has 3 children, and she will take care of him in his old age while he leaves his money(if he has any) to his children.

OP should focus on herself, go back to school, study nursing or accounting. There are always jobs in these two fields. By 30, she will be all set. She can date divorced or widowed dads her age. And she can make enough to not have to depend on anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh honey, the world is your oyster. You are young, you are done with kids, your kid is past the daycare years. Now is the time to build a career, whether you choose to go to college or another route. You have tons of time and way less pressure to keep dating and find just the right fit. Don’t chain yourself to a middle aged guy with 3 kids. He has been there, done that.

This is BS. She is young but the world isn’t her oyster lol. She’s undereducated and has baggage ie her kid. Do you really think she has the money or free time to go to college or do something other than a menial job? This 41 year old might be one of the better options she has going on.

Whatever you do don't listen to clowns like this who don't want you to do better and want to shame you and punish you for being a single mom.

+1000

So many single moms go to college degrees and great jobs! I went to college with many of them. And even if you don't, that doesn't mean you have to settle. Nothing is wrong with being a single mom without a college degree. Nothing.

She’s better served not listening to fools like you and PP who don’t live in reality. She’s 26 with no education and a kid. Who will take care of her kid if she goes to college? Unless she has someone willing to do free childcare, she’ll accumulate childcare expenses in addition to the loans for college. By then, she’ll be 30 with huge debt and the bare minimum education for a professional job. It will take years to dig herself out at that point.

The issue isn’t her being a single mom. It’s having a kid early 20’s when your family isn’t rich and supportive and you weren’t even able to complete a basic schooling requirement. Even OP knows this-that’s why she’s dating a 41 yr old.

She already resolved the child care issue - read - she lives with her parents. Doesn’t need to put out for a 41 yo man for that. And it’s unclear how HE would assist with HER child if he already has 3 of his own. He’s not super wealthy

She can also get an online accounting degree or similar (from Nova for example). That would be zero college debt and a stable profession in 4 years from now.

I see no point for her to date this guy at all!

Online degree, online professional training, employer paid degree, learn to code, hairstylist, makeup artist, Etsy business. I can come up with a hundred things she can do. They will be infinitely better than being tied to a divorced, cash strapped dad of three.

Don’t derail your life OP, take charge of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Too old. Is he controlling? Why doesn’t he want someone his age? That’s a red flag to me.

Why doesn't he want someone his age? Because he can get someone who is younger, hotter, and tighter. The red flag would be if he is forced to date someone just like him.

Then he should pay for it, not drag a naive and vulnerable mom of a young kid into his mess.