Worried for my friend—could this be grooming?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's in his 80's for pete's sake. I think you are projecting your own mental issues onto this poor man.

Literally JUST dealt with an 80 year old pervert on the metro. Perverts do not stop being perverts just because they’re old.

This is not some city pervert. This is an old guy who has urges to garden. Most men that old don't even have prostates anymore. I'd be more worried he'd die of a heart attack or stroke while driving the golf cart.

So there are no sex offenders in the country? That’s absurd.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if a lot of the “you have anxiety” and “he’s just nice” posters are men and sex offenders themselves - gaslighting mothers to make them feel rude or paranoid for taking reasonable precautions to protect their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's in his 80's for pete's sake. I think you are projecting your own mental issues onto this poor man.

Literally JUST dealt with an 80 year old pervert on the metro. Perverts do not stop being perverts just because they’re old.

This is not some city pervert. This is an old guy who has urges to garden. Most men that old don't even have prostates anymore. I'd be more worried he'd die of a heart attack or stroke while driving the golf cart.

So there are no sex offenders in the country? That’s absurd.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if a lot of the “you have anxiety” and “he’s just nice” posters are men and sex offenders themselves - gaslighting mothers to make them feel rude or paranoid for taking reasonable precautions to protect their children.

JFC. No wonder so many kids these days have anxiety if this is what their parents instill in them. You have completely lost your mind.

[Anonymous]

It's none of your business.

It's literally your friend's job to assess the risk to her children.

Butt out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's in his 80's for pete's sake. I think you are projecting your own mental issues onto this poor man.

Literally JUST dealt with an 80 year old pervert on the metro. Perverts do not stop being perverts just because they’re old.

This is not some city pervert. This is an old guy who has urges to garden. Most men that old don't even have prostates anymore. I'd be more worried he'd die of a heart attack or stroke while driving the golf cart.

So there are no sex offenders in the country? That’s absurd.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if a lot of the “you have anxiety” and “he’s just nice” posters are men and sex offenders themselves - gaslighting mothers to make them feel rude or paranoid for taking reasonable precautions to protect their children.

JFC. No wonder so many kids these days have anxiety if this is what their parents instill in them. You have completely lost your mind.

You must be new to the internet. You never know who you’re really talking to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's in his 80's for pete's sake. I think you are projecting your own mental issues onto this poor man.

Literally JUST dealt with an 80 year old pervert on the metro. Perverts do not stop being perverts just because they’re old.

This is not some city pervert. This is an old guy who has urges to garden. Most men that old don't even have prostates anymore. I'd be more worried he'd die of a heart attack or stroke while driving the golf cart.

So there are no sex offenders in the country? That’s absurd.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if a lot of the “you have anxiety” and “he’s just nice” posters are men and sex offenders themselves - gaslighting mothers to make them feel rude or paranoid for taking reasonable precautions to protect their children.

JFC. No wonder so many kids these days have anxiety if this is what their parents instill in them. You have completely lost your mind.

+1000
Some of these posts are absurd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's in his 80's for pete's sake. I think you are projecting your own mental issues onto this poor man.

Literally JUST dealt with an 80 year old pervert on the metro. Perverts do not stop being perverts just because they’re old.

This is not some city pervert. This is an old guy who has urges to garden. Most men that old don't even have prostates anymore. I'd be more worried he'd die of a heart attack or stroke while driving the golf cart.

So there are no sex offenders in the country? That’s absurd.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if a lot of the “you have anxiety” and “he’s just nice” posters are men and sex offenders themselves - gaslighting mothers to make them feel rude or paranoid for taking reasonable precautions to protect their children.

JFC. No wonder so many kids these days have anxiety if this is what their parents instill in them. You have completely lost your mind.

+1000
Some of these posts are absurd.

Actually, it sounds like someone touched a nerve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's in his 80's for pete's sake. I think you are projecting your own mental issues onto this poor man.

Literally JUST dealt with an 80 year old pervert on the metro. Perverts do not stop being perverts just because they’re old.

This is not some city pervert. This is an old guy who has urges to garden. Most men that old don't even have prostates anymore. I'd be more worried he'd die of a heart attack or stroke while driving the golf cart.

So there are no sex offenders in the country? That’s absurd.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if a lot of the “you have anxiety” and “he’s just nice” posters are men and sex offenders themselves - gaslighting mothers to make them feel rude or paranoid for taking reasonable precautions to protect their children.

JFC. No wonder so many kids these days have anxiety if this is what their parents instill in them. You have completely lost your mind.

You must be new to the internet. You never know who you’re really talking to.

People playing without a full deck of cards is who I am talking to. You, for one and all the rest of the loons on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's in his 80's for pete's sake. I think you are projecting your own mental issues onto this poor man.

Literally JUST dealt with an 80 year old pervert on the metro. Perverts do not stop being perverts just because they’re old.

This is not some city pervert. This is an old guy who has urges to garden. Most men that old don't even have prostates anymore. I'd be more worried he'd die of a heart attack or stroke while driving the golf cart.

So there are no sex offenders in the country? That’s absurd.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if a lot of the “you have anxiety” and “he’s just nice” posters are men and sex offenders themselves - gaslighting mothers to make them feel rude or paranoid for taking reasonable precautions to protect their children.

JFC. No wonder so many kids these days have anxiety if this is what their parents instill in them. You have completely lost your mind.

+1000
Some of these posts are absurd.

Actually, it sounds like someone touched a nerve.

Yep, you got me. I'm totally a sex offender.

[Anonymous]

If these kids are never alone with him there is no issue.

Some people are just lonely and seeking connection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not let my little kids go off with ANYONE I have only know for a few months.

This is the correct answer. It’s just not smart at all. He could be Mr Rodgers or he could be a predator- it’s way too soon to know. Heck, women MARRY men who, years later, they find out were after them just for access to the kids.

Agree, it could be harmless or it could be predatory. In any case, an elderly man taking such a close interest in a single mom w very young kids that he comes over DAILY is not normal, so it deserves some scrutiny. We have a sweet elderly neighbor and she gives our kids gifts like sidewalk chalk and invites them to help her toss birdseed on her driveway when we happen to be outside at the same time. She doesn’t come over every day or take my kids into her house.

If OP had posted, “I am a single SAHM and my 80 year old male neighbor has been coming over every day to have coffee and donuts with me, and I let my 3/4 year olds go on their own with him to his farm”, I don’t there there would be so many of you saying, “Go for it! Sounds wonderful, nothing to worry about”.

The friend is a SAHM. I didn't see anything about her being single. And it sounds like they live in an an area where there's not much to do. I'm not saying to blindly trust everyone. But at the same time there is nothing nefarious about neighbors enjoying each others' company. Good grief people.

Right, I assumed the friend was single because of the mention that they appreciated a "father figure". In either case, a neighbor you have known for six months coming over every day is not normal in this day and age. Does anyone here have a neighbor who comes over daily to have coffee and hang out? Who then takes your preschoolers to their property on their own? I haven't heard of such a thing. This is not a typical "neighbors enjoying each others' company" situation. No one, especially on this anonymous forum, can say with certainty that there's nothing nefarious going on.

I'll change my statement - if OP had posted, "I live in the middle of nowhere and I am a SAHM. My elderly male neighbor, whom I have known for 6 or 7 months, comes over every day to have coffee and donuts with me, and then he puts my preschoolers on his golf cart and goes back to his farm", this website would have blown up with advice to be cautious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If these kids are never alone with him there is no issue.

Some people are just lonely and seeking connection.

But they are alone with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's in his 80's for pete's sake. I think you are projecting your own mental issues onto this poor man.

Literally JUST dealt with an 80 year old pervert on the metro. Perverts do not stop being perverts just because they’re old.

This is not some city pervert. This is an old guy who has urges to garden. Most men that old don't even have prostates anymore. I'd be more worried he'd die of a heart attack or stroke while driving the golf cart.

So there are no sex offenders in the country? That’s absurd.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if a lot of the “you have anxiety” and “he’s just nice” posters are men and sex offenders themselves - gaslighting mothers to make them feel rude or paranoid for taking reasonable precautions to protect their children.

JFC. No wonder so many kids these days have anxiety if this is what their parents instill in them. You have completely lost your mind.

You must be new to the internet. You never know who you’re really talking to.

People playing without a full deck of cards is who I am talking to. You, for one and all the rest of the loons on this thread.

Who you’re talking to is someone who has two friends molested by a stepfather or family “friend” and a DC with a friend who developed an online friendship with a man pretending to be a young girl. Their parents weren’t awful, negligent people: they just didn’t know.

You are unbelievably naive about people and the internet, yes.

[Anonymous]

People are in rare form today!

I am close with a lot of people, both male and female, who I would find it strange if they requested 1:1 alone time with my children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Over the winter my friend and her family moved. She’s a SAHM and has two preschoolers. They live sort of out in the middle of nowhere, where people drive around on golf carts and own a lot of property. When the weather started to turn warmer where she lives, she mentioned meeting an older neighbor, a widowed man in his 80s. Apparently this man has taken on a father figure role in her life and a grandfather type role for her children. I think she’s bored and lonely and living this “Little House” lifestyle. She says this man comes over daily for coffee and sits on the porch. They sometimes have afternoon desert. Now she’s saying she lets the oldest two go off on the golf cart with this man while he tends to his farm (chickens and such, a garden.)

Could be totally fine, but could also be grooming, and now she’s also she’s letting them go with him alone!

How do I voice this concern to her without her thinking I think she doesn’t know how to properly make decisions for her children?

I would never let young children leave to go alone to a mans house. No way!!

[Anonymous]

Call CPS and report mom and neighbor.