Worried for my friend—could this be grooming?
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Anonymous
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Over the winter my friend and her family moved. She’s a SAHM and has two preschoolers. They live sort of out in the middle of nowhere, where people drive around on golf carts and own a lot of property. When the weather started to turn warmer where she lives, she mentioned meeting an older neighbor, a widowed man in his 80s. Apparently this man has taken on a father figure role in her life and a grandfather type role for her children. I think she’s bored and lonely and living this “Little House” lifestyle. She says this man comes over daily for coffee and sits on the porch. They sometimes have afternoon desert. Now she’s saying she lets the oldest two go off on the golf cart with this man while he tends to his farm (chickens and such, a garden.)
Could be totally fine, but could also be grooming, and now she’s also she’s letting them go with him alone! How do I voice this concern to her without her thinking I think she doesn’t know how to properly make decisions for her children? |
Anonymous
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Doubt a guy in his 80s with one foot in the grave is a groomer.
Do you have anxiety OP? |
Anonymous
You’re kidding, right? |
Anonymous
| Wow, a totally normal interaction with an elderly neighbor who was probably bored out of his gourd until this kind woman and her kids showed up is now "grooming"? Come on, 99.9% of people are NOT sexual predators. Stop living your life in fear, you'll be much happier. |
Anonymous
| Well it's very unlikely, but you could always touch on the subject in passing. |
Anonymous
| It’s probably nothing. If people have said, most people are not predators. But I still would not be comfortable with letting my young preschoolers go off alone with a male stranger. Because I would worry about the off chance that something would happen. |
Anonymous
| Is his name Herbert the Pervert? 🤣🤣 |
Anonymous
| You’re a nut |
Anonymous
| Plant a hidden camera on his golf cart. |
Anonymous
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There was a man like this in my neighborhood growing up. We would ride bikes down to his house and hang out in his backyard. He would let us help him garden and give us snacks. Sometimes we’d build a little fire with him and chat while he smoked his pipe. I have some of the fondest memories of spending time with him. When he passed away (I was a teen) I cried so hard. I still miss you Mr. Leese!
Point being - not everyone is a predator. |
Anonymous
Your head is buried so deep it must be halfway to China. |
Anonymous
This is a complacent notion and the sort of nonchalance that gets kids hurt. Old men still have urges, and sexual predators don’t change. Robert De Niro is 80 and is going to be a father again. Just saying. |
Anonymous
| You can't say anything without casting aspersion on her parenting. She's the mother and has interacted with the neighbor frequently, not you. Nothing she's told you raises a flag. The most you can say is: I personally would not feel comfortable sending the kids off with him alone. |
Anonymous
| Stop watching the news 24/7 OP. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like two lonely people found each other and are enjoying each other's company. Nothing more. |