My ex is marrying AP

[ameliaaria]

One piece of advice I can offer is to focus on your own healing and personal growth. This may involve seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist. It's essential to prioritize self-care and take time to process your emotions and experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the emotional trauma of adultery... lmfao

Jesus Christ. I had a friend in high school whose father embezzled money and went to prison for years. Dishonesty, theft, public humiliation, moral failure, etc -- but my friend still loved his father because THAT'S HIS DAD. Some people have war in their country. Some people had their lives destroyed by earthquakes, hurricanes, or tornadoes. Some people lost loved ones to covid.

One parent cheating on another which results in a divorce is NOTHING on the life spectrum. So your spouse decided to leave you for another person: big effing deal. It's not homicide. Grow up and move on.

I agree with this and my ex-DH cheated on me when I was pregnant, married his much younger mistress just weeks after our divorce, and did many other terrible things. It was the most difficult thing I've ever dealt with and I recognize that makes me lucky indeed. Spouse cheating and leaving sucks but is a tale as old as time and nothing compared with these other tragedies.

[Anonymous]

As a financial planner who has worked with dozens of couples it’s even more intimate than a therapist. When money is involved you really see people’s deepest characteristics with no filter. I think men would be shocked and maybe a little afraid of getting married. 1) there is a huge percentage of women who would rather die than lose the narrative in their heads. 2) a huge percentage of women will avoid accountability at any cost.
If there is difficulty in a marriage these characteristics completely destroy any marriage therapy effectiveness. I see a lot of those characteristics in these posts. In my experience men are more often accountable and willing to admit deficiencies.

[Anonymous]

It leaves that position open. Wonder how long he'll take to fill it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a financial planner who has worked with dozens of couples it’s even more intimate than a therapist. When money is involved you really see people’s deepest characteristics with no filter. I think men would be shocked and maybe a little afraid of getting married. 1) there is a huge percentage of women who would rather die than lose the narrative in their heads. 2) a huge percentage of women will avoid accountability at any cost.
If there is difficulty in a marriage these characteristics completely destroy any marriage therapy effectiveness. I see a lot of those characteristics in these posts. In my experience men are more often accountable and willing to admit deficiencies.

You are completely FOS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the emotional trauma of adultery... lmfao

Jesus Christ. I had a friend in high school whose father embezzled money and went to prison for years. Dishonesty, theft, public humiliation, moral failure, etc -- but my friend still loved his father because THAT'S HIS DAD. Some people have war in their country. Some people had their lives destroyed by earthquakes, hurricanes, or tornadoes. Some people lost loved ones to covid.

One parent cheating on another which results in a divorce is NOTHING on the life spectrum. So your spouse decided to leave you for another person: big effing deal. It's not homicide. Grow up and move on.

If there is a God, your spouse will cheat on you and you will have to live with the NOTHING you think it is. Just from the way you write, you sound like a vile and soulless person who deserves to live through what you think is no “big effing deal”. I am stunned there are so many truly horrible and insensitive people out there.

NP. Every case is unique and the true details are critical. Most of this discussion is dominated by women who are not nice people either. They think it’s ok to abort a baby. It seems better to marry an affair partner than to throw one away. It’s better there be actual love involved than for all the difficulty be only about sex and no redeeming quality. I think this is what really hurts OP that it would be easier to destroy her ex as someone who was so selfish he destroyed his marriage just for sex .. but his getting married shows he was in love and is not a serial cheater but that something may have been wrong with OP. Everybody needs to manage their own lives.

Marrying the AP shows redeeming qualities that makes life complicated and blows up simple or satisfying narratives.

Getting married dies not mean he’s not a serial cheater. Trump has been married 4 times. Lol. Being a cheater means he’s more likely to cheat again.

And not to stage the obvious, but it also means he’s a liar with poor character and zero integrity.

Trumps wives all still like or love him. His children are healthy and Ivy educated. Biden can’t even run his family

HA!! REALLY??? It's fairly obvious Melania can't stand him. Marla certainly has no love for Trump.

[Anonymous]

As a financial planner who has worked with dozens of couples it’s even more intimate than a therapist. When money is involved you really see people’s deepest characteristics with no filter. I think men would be shocked and maybe a little afraid of getting married. 1) there is a huge percentage of women who would rather die than lose the narrative in their heads. 2) a huge percentage of women will avoid accountability at any cost.
If there is difficulty in a marriage these characteristics completely destroy any marriage therapy effectiveness. I see a lot of those characteristics in these posts. In my experience men are more often accountable and willing to admit deficiencies.

Do you realize how stupid you sound? You are a financial planner. Not a therapist, not a psychiatrist. You have a small sample size of couples. Your personal opinions about the inner psychology of males vs females is literally no more accurate or valuable than your average observer of any fill in the blank reality TV show. Your opinion reflects more about YOUR psychology than it does about the couples you interact with for financial planning sessions. Stop embarassing yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As a financial planner who has worked with dozens of couples it’s even more intimate than a therapist. When money is involved you really see people’s deepest characteristics with no filter. I think men would be shocked and maybe a little afraid of getting married. 1) there is a huge percentage of women who would rather die than lose the narrative in their heads. 2) a huge percentage of women will avoid accountability at any cost.
If there is difficulty in a marriage these characteristics completely destroy any marriage therapy effectiveness. I see a lot of those characteristics in these posts. In my experience men are more often accountable and willing to admit deficiencies.

Do you realize how stupid you sound? You are a financial planner. Not a therapist, not a psychiatrist. You have a small sample size of couples. Your personal opinions about the inner psychology of males vs females is literally no more accurate or valuable than your average observer of any fill in the blank reality TV show. Your opinion reflects more about YOUR psychology than it does about the couples you interact with for financial planning sessions. Stop embarassing yourself.

Uh huh. Totally in character.

[Anonymous]

Financial planner dude is a classic gaslighter. FOS, and when called on it through indisputable facts, tries to gaslight women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As a financial planner who has worked with dozens of couples it’s even more intimate than a therapist. When money is involved you really see people’s deepest characteristics with no filter. I think men would be shocked and maybe a little afraid of getting married. 1) there is a huge percentage of women who would rather die than lose the narrative in their heads. 2) a huge percentage of women will avoid accountability at any cost.
If there is difficulty in a marriage these characteristics completely destroy any marriage therapy effectiveness. I see a lot of those characteristics in these posts. In my experience men are more often accountable and willing to admit deficiencies.

Do you realize how stupid you sound? You are a financial planner. Not a therapist, not a psychiatrist. You have a small sample size of couples. Your personal opinions about the inner psychology of males vs females is literally no more accurate or valuable than your average observer of any fill in the blank reality TV show. Your opinion reflects more about YOUR psychology than it does about the couples you interact with for financial planning sessions. Stop embarassing yourself.

DP. Man, you were really triggered by that post.

[Anonymous]

Don’t worry, she’ll stop sleeping with him shortly after being married, then another AP will come along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t worry, she’ll stop sleeping with him shortly after being married, then another AP will come along.

Or, the OP can be the AP and break their marriage up.

[Anonymous]

Would it be bad if they are happy?

[Anonymous]

DP. Man, you were really triggered by that post.

No, not triggered. Just a psychologist who actually understands these issues for a living and am not willing to sit silently while some guy with no training whatsoever pretends to be knowledgeable on an issue that he is not qualified to speak about. I wouldn’t provide financial planning advice to someone. He shouldn’t pretend understand differences in gender based on his limited interactions with them during his sessions. Imagine him trying to write that up for an academic journal…. Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the emotional trauma of adultery... lmfao

Jesus Christ. I had a friend in high school whose father embezzled money and went to prison for years. Dishonesty, theft, public humiliation, moral failure, etc -- but my friend still loved his father because THAT'S HIS DAD. Some people have war in their country. Some people had their lives destroyed by earthquakes, hurricanes, or tornadoes. Some people lost loved ones to covid.

One parent cheating on another which results in a divorce is NOTHING on the life spectrum. So your spouse decided to leave you for another person: big effing deal. It's not homicide. Grow up and move on.

If there is a God, your spouse will cheat on you and you will have to live with the NOTHING you think it is. Just from the way you write, you sound like a vile and soulless person who deserves to live through what you think is no “big effing deal”. I am stunned there are so many truly horrible and insensitive people out there.

NP. Every case is unique and the true details are critical. Most of this discussion is dominated by women who are not nice people either. They think it’s ok to abort a baby. It seems better to marry an affair partner than to throw one away. It’s better there be actual love involved than for all the difficulty be only about sex and no redeeming quality. I think this is what really hurts OP that it would be easier to destroy her ex as someone who was so selfish he destroyed his marriage just for sex .. but his getting married shows he was in love and is not a serial cheater but that something may have been wrong with OP. Everybody needs to manage their own lives.

Marrying the AP shows redeeming qualities that makes life complicated and blows up simple or satisfying narratives.

Getting married dies not mean he’s not a serial cheater. Trump has been married 4 times. Lol. Being a cheater means he’s more likely to cheat again.

And not to stage the obvious, but it also means he’s a liar with poor character and zero integrity.

Trumps wives all still like or love him. His children are healthy and Ivy educated. Biden can’t even run his family

They all still like or love Trump’s money, you simpleton.