My ex is marrying AP

[Anonymous]

If you've btdt, what helped you? What advice can you offer? I'm not in love with my ex anymore. Mostly it's the deception, lies, and humiliation that I have a hard time reconciling. We were together for over 20 years.

[Anonymous]

They'll probably cheat on the new spouse too.

[Anonymous]

One woman's trash is another one's treasure. You got out. Good for you. He's still the same lying cheat with no integrity. And since she participated and banged a married man, she's crap too.

Don't give it another thought. Living well...and all. Best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Would you feel the same if your spouse had left you first, then met their future spouse? You can't control who you fall in love with.

Living well is the best revenge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They'll probably cheat on the new spouse too.

I just read a quote today on that - when the mistress becomes the wife, her position opens up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you feel the same if your spouse had left you first, then met their future spouse? You can't control who you fall in love with.

Living well is the best revenge.

You absolutely can control who you fall in love with.
Op, it's ok to have weird a multitude of feelings about this, but don't let it consume you and prevent you from living an awesome life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They'll probably cheat on the new spouse too.

I just read a quote today on that - when the mistress becomes the wife, her position opens up.

I’d put that on a card and send it to them.

[Anonymous]

Just live your best life. She will figure out what she has married eventually. Karma is a b^tch.

[Anonymous]

You absolutely do not have to “reconcile the deception, lies, and humiliation.” Why would you need to do that? Don’t do that! You have to figure out how to deal with him/her in the way that best serves you and your family. But that doesn’t mean you have to “reconcile” or forgive any of that other stuff.

[Anonymous]

This is hard, not gonna lie. Just acknowledge that it hurts, that it’s unfair, and that they suck, and then try not to dwell in it. They aren’t your problem anymore.

For what it is worth, I was married 17 years when my ex had an affair with his admin assistant. They recently bought a house together and plan to get married. It hasn’t been easy for them… his family STRONGLY disapproved of his actions, and have continued to keep me in their lives to the extent that whatever my ex was going to get from my in-laws in their will, they advised me that they changed it to that I will get half of whatever he would have gotten. My former sister and brother in law still invite me on family vacations, and all of my ex’s aunts and uncles regularly reach out to me and make a big deal about welcoming me at big events (weddings, funerals, etc.). That’s made things hard for my ex and I imagine awkward for his affair partner.

Of course I don’t attend everything I’m invited to, but I guess this just goes to show that it’s not all rainbows and unicorns for the new couple. Some people will NEVER accept them.

As for the kids… my kids are older, and my oldest was old enough to understand that dad had a girlfriend immediately after we separated, and that dad’s girlfriend was the admin assistant he’d met a million times before. He put 2 and 2 together, and now he barely wants to even interact with his dad at all, ever. It’s sad, really.

Just hold your head high, throw yourself into your new life and live your best life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They'll probably cheat on the new spouse too.

I just read a quote today on that - when the mistress becomes the wife, her position opens up.

Credited to the late Sir James Goldsmith, whose domestic arrangements were the envy of many.

[Anonymous]

They deserve each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is hard, not gonna lie. Just acknowledge that it hurts, that it’s unfair, and that they suck, and then try not to dwell in it. They aren’t your problem anymore.

For what it is worth, I was married 17 years when my ex had an affair with his admin assistant. They recently bought a house together and plan to get married. It hasn’t been easy for them… his family STRONGLY disapproved of his actions, and have continued to keep me in their lives to the extent that whatever my ex was going to get from my in-laws in their will, they advised me that they changed it to that I will get half of whatever he would have gotten. My former sister and brother in law still invite me on family vacations, and all of my ex’s aunts and uncles regularly reach out to me and make a big deal about welcoming me at big events (weddings, funerals, etc.). That’s made things hard for my ex and I imagine awkward for his affair partner.

Of course I don’t attend everything I’m invited to, but I guess this just goes to show that it’s not all rainbows and unicorns for the new couple. Some people will NEVER accept them.

As for the kids… my kids are older, and my oldest was old enough to understand that dad had a girlfriend immediately after we separated, and that dad’s girlfriend was the admin assistant he’d met a million times before. He put 2 and 2 together, and now he barely wants to even interact with his dad at all, ever. It’s sad, really.

Just hold your head high, throw yourself into your new life and live your best life.

Hey, it's your job, mom, to encourage child to value dad and want to see dad, regardless of what he did to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is hard, not gonna lie. Just acknowledge that it hurts, that it’s unfair, and that they suck, and then try not to dwell in it. They aren’t your problem anymore.

For what it is worth, I was married 17 years when my ex had an affair with his admin assistant. They recently bought a house together and plan to get married. It hasn’t been easy for them… his family STRONGLY disapproved of his actions, and have continued to keep me in their lives to the extent that whatever my ex was going to get from my in-laws in their will, they advised me that they changed it to that I will get half of whatever he would have gotten. My former sister and brother in law still invite me on family vacations, and all of my ex’s aunts and uncles regularly reach out to me and make a big deal about welcoming me at big events (weddings, funerals, etc.). That’s made things hard for my ex and I imagine awkward for his affair partner.

Of course I don’t attend everything I’m invited to, but I guess this just goes to show that it’s not all rainbows and unicorns for the new couple. Some people will NEVER accept them.

As for the kids… my kids are older, and my oldest was old enough to understand that dad had a girlfriend immediately after we separated, and that dad’s girlfriend was the admin assistant he’d met a million times before. He put 2 and 2 together, and now he barely wants to even interact with his dad at all, ever. It’s sad, really.

Just hold your head high, throw yourself into your new life and live your best life.

Hey, it's your job, mom, to encourage child to value dad and want to see dad, regardless of what he did to you.

No. It’s dads job to have his adult children value him it’s not his ex wife’s job.

Are you insane.

[Anonymous]

Re the kids - I know plenty of people who know their parent cheated and they still have good relationships with them. Maybe they don't always want to show that to the cheated on parent.