Today’s young adults want apologies from their parents; parents want a thank you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomers have a lot to apologize for and money to pay to their children

We’ve paid plenty already in reparations. Find some other tree to shake.

What are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think this is a real dynamic?

Young adults (18-23) with a sense of being wronged. They’re exhausted parents who did everything they could.

Lots of resentment bubbling over.

I think so. If their parents didn't want to procreate, young people wouldn't have a single problem to begin with. You bring other humans into this world without their consents, pass your subpar genes, do flawed parenting with your limited emotional and financial resources in a messed up world, the least you can do is to apologize. I'm only half kidding here, even the best of parents are literally the source of half of the problems kids face.

Wow. Speechless.

Well kids cause a lot of expense and trouble for the unsuspecting parents too. It evens the score.

I'm honestly saying this all with a light heart (I'm not either of those PPs), but he response to this is why would the parent be unsuspecting? Shouldn't we know what we are getting into when we bring a child into the world?

No. You are told it’s really hard and you see that it’s really hard, but you don’t *really* get it until it’s too late! And Mother Nature sets it up so you decide to have another one right when your first is getting easier but still really cute and importantly, small enough to control easily. You don't get how the teen years will go until it’s too late and you have more than one! Such a bait and switch! If they started as teens, 75% would be only children.

Honest question: what was it you didn’t understand about raising children until you had kids?

I did not understand how biased our society is against mothers. It seems that we are praising motherhood while quietly stubbing mothers in the back.

Can you provide an example?

E.g. an enormous pressure to breastfeed without any consideration of what it means for a particular woman on a practical level. I am saying it as a working mom of three whose kids never had formula - breastfeeding or pumped milk only for at least a year each.

[Anonymous]

Hey Z’s: Get off your phones, then we’ll talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's forget passing genetic disorders, abandoning or abusing children and other bigger issues, just passing mediocre looks and IQ and then raising them with little resources while they compete with beautiful, intelligent and resourceful peers, is it really fair? Hard to say but how many parents actually even consider these thoughts?

Less resources and wisdom parents have, more kids they want to bring to this world. Its a complex issue and no body knows the answer but yes, even with best of intentions and efforts, plenty of mistakes are made.

Ooh, in the name of improving this world, let's limit who can procreate. Let's examine everyone, find the defective ones and sterilize them, so no future kid will have to suffer.

Wait, hasn't this already been tried somewhere?

Having information and resources to make educated decisions isn't the same as decisions being forced upon you. Is it?

NP. So the information would be “your average children would have to compete against h average children and having a child wouldn’t really be fair to them?” So not eugenics, just eugenicist propaganda?

Don't try to twist the argument of parents taking more responsibility into propagation of eugenics. Cousin marriage is still allowed in most states, no fenetic testing required.

[Anonymous]

*no genetic testing

[Anonymous]

On one side we don't want to play the god and require people to consider scientific help. On other we are fine with people freezing and thawing embryos. No one is forcing anyone todo anything, just get tested and decide according to your limits, if you don't have ability or resources to care, think twice, take time to get your ducks in order beforehand etc.

[Anonymous]

... or consider to adopt kids whose parents passed away, have genuine limitations or are too selfish to get their act together.

[Anonymous]

Nobody has answers but at least everybody has arguments, that's what starts a discussion and help improve. Its fine if we keep doing as always but thinking neutrally helps do same things in better ways.

[Anonymous]

Parental training to better deal with toddler and teen years would be a good start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think this is a real dynamic?

Young adults (18-23) with a sense of being wronged. They’re exhausted parents who did everything they could.

Lots of resentment bubbling over.

I think so. If their parents didn't want to procreate, young people wouldn't have a single problem to begin with. You bring other humans into this world without their consents, pass your subpar genes, do flawed parenting with your limited emotional and financial resources in a messed up world, the least you can do is to apologize. I'm only half kidding here, even the best of parents are literally the source of half of the problems kids face.

Wow. Speechless.

Well kids cause a lot of expense and trouble for the unsuspecting parents too. It evens the score.

I'm honestly saying this all with a light heart (I'm not either of those PPs), but he response to this is why would the parent be unsuspecting? Shouldn't we know what we are getting into when we bring a child into the world?

No. You are told it’s really hard and you see that it’s really hard, but you don’t *really* get it until it’s too late! And Mother Nature sets it up so you decide to have another one right when your first is getting easier but still really cute and importantly, small enough to control easily. You don't get how the teen years will go until it’s too late and you have more than one! Such a bait and switch! If they started as teens, 75% would be only children.

Honest question: what was it you didn’t understand about raising children until you had kids?

I did not understand how biased our society is against mothers. It seems that we are praising motherhood while quietly stubbing mothers in the back.

Can you provide an example?

E.g. an enormous pressure to breastfeed without any consideration of what it means for a particular woman on a practical level. I am saying it as a working mom of three whose kids never had formula - breastfeeding or pumped milk only for at least a year each.

There should at be more paid maternal leave with no career repercussions for mom at least with first baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boomers have a lot to apologize for and money to pay to their children

Have you considered seeking some therapy for this compulsive narcissistic obsession you have with blaming everything on boomers? It really might help you have a better life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey Z’s: Get off your phones, then we’ll talk.

Who provided the phones (he asks ironically).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think this is a real dynamic?

Young adults (18-23) with a sense of being wronged. They’re exhausted parents who did everything they could.

Lots of resentment bubbling over.

I think so. If their parents didn't want to procreate, young people wouldn't have a single problem to begin with. You bring other humans into this world without their consents, pass your subpar genes, do flawed parenting with your limited emotional and financial resources in a messed up world, the least you can do is to apologize. I'm only half kidding here, even the best of parents are literally the source of half of the problems kids face.

Wow. Speechless.

Well kids cause a lot of expense and trouble for the unsuspecting parents too. It evens the score.

I'm honestly saying this all with a light heart (I'm not either of those PPs), but he response to this is why would the parent be unsuspecting? Shouldn't we know what we are getting into when we bring a child into the world?

No. You are told it’s really hard and you see that it’s really hard, but you don’t *really* get it until it’s too late! And Mother Nature sets it up so you decide to have another one right when your first is getting easier but still really cute and importantly, small enough to control easily. You don't get how the teen years will go until it’s too late and you have more than one! Such a bait and switch! If they started as teens, 75% would be only children.

Honest question: what was it you didn’t understand about raising children until you had kids?

I did not understand how biased our society is against mothers. It seems that we are praising motherhood while quietly stubbing mothers in the back.

Can you provide an example?

E.g. an enormous pressure to breastfeed without any consideration of what it means for a particular woman on a practical level. I am saying it as a working mom of three whose kids never had formula - breastfeeding or pumped milk only for at least a year each.

We must live in different worlds. In my circle ($300k+ HHI) most of us formula feed without any sort of guilt or issue after attempting nursing. If you feel pressure to breastfeed, it’s the circle you’re running in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think this is a real dynamic?

Young adults (18-23) with a sense of being wronged. They’re exhausted parents who did everything they could.

Lots of resentment bubbling over.

I think so. If their parents didn't want to procreate, young people wouldn't have a single problem to begin with. You bring other humans into this world without their consents, pass your subpar genes, do flawed parenting with your limited emotional and financial resources in a messed up world, the least you can do is to apologize. I'm only half kidding here, even the best of parents are literally the source of half of the problems kids face.

Wow. Speechless.

Well kids cause a lot of expense and trouble for the unsuspecting parents too. It evens the score.

I'm honestly saying this all with a light heart (I'm not either of those PPs), but he response to this is why would the parent be unsuspecting? Shouldn't we know what we are getting into when we bring a child into the world?

No. You are told it’s really hard and you see that it’s really hard, but you don’t *really* get it until it’s too late! And Mother Nature sets it up so you decide to have another one right when your first is getting easier but still really cute and importantly, small enough to control easily. You don't get how the teen years will go until it’s too late and you have more than one! Such a bait and switch! If they started as teens, 75% would be only children.

Honest question: what was it you didn’t understand about raising children until you had kids?

I did not understand how biased our society is against mothers. It seems that we are praising motherhood while quietly stubbing mothers in the back.

Can you provide an example?

E.g. an enormous pressure to breastfeed without any consideration of what it means for a particular woman on a practical level. I am saying it as a working mom of three whose kids never had formula - breastfeeding or pumped milk only for at least a year each.

We must live in different worlds. In my circle ($300k+ HHI) most of us formula feed without any sort of guilt or issue after attempting nursing. If you feel pressure to breastfeed, it’s the circle you’re running in.

PP. I felt it beginning with the nurses at the hospital where I gave birth, and the lactation specialists who stopped by my bed without me asking for it, etc. Nothing to do with my income (about the same as yours) or circle. Plus, my oldest and youngest are 13 years apart, and I could see how the pressure intensified since the late 90s when I had my oldest. Again, breastfeeding my kids was my choice, but by the time I had my last child, way more people made it their business to opine on how babies should be fed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's forget passing genetic disorders, abandoning or abusing children and other bigger issues, just passing mediocre looks and IQ and then raising them with little resources while they compete with beautiful, intelligent and resourceful peers, is it really fair? Hard to say but how many parents actually even consider these thoughts?

Less resources and wisdom parents have, more kids they want to bring to this world. Its a complex issue and no body knows the answer but yes, even with best of intentions and efforts, plenty of mistakes are made.

Ooh, in the name of improving this world, let's limit who can procreate. Let's examine everyone, find the defective ones and sterilize them, so no future kid will have to suffer.

Wait, hasn't this already been tried somewhere?

Having information and resources to make educated decisions isn't the same as decisions being forced upon you. Is it?

NP. So the information would be “your average children would have to compete against h average children and having a child wouldn’t really be fair to them?” So not eugenics, just eugenicist propaganda?

Don't try to twist the argument of parents taking more responsibility into propagation of eugenics. Cousin marriage is still allowed in most states, no fenetic testing required.

There is no way you can compare telling a potential parent that kids are a lot of responsibility with telling potential parents that it might not be fair to bring a child into the world who has below-average looks or intelligence. That’s blatantly eugenicist. If you yourself are even within the realm of average intelligence you can read a Wikipedia page to confirm this. (You could also Google “cousin marriage” and see that it’s legality doesn’t exactly prop up the argument you’re trying to make).