Why do people expect a “fulfilling” career?

[Anonymous]

When I was in college it was a badge of honor to say you didn't care about money. Then we all realized the "fulfilling" jobs are just jobs that don't pay well. They still suck your soul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was in college it was a badge of honor to say you didn't care about money. Then we all realized the "fulfilling" jobs are just jobs that don't pay well. They still suck your soul.

Disagree. I turned down a job right out of college that would have paid me 3x the teaching salary I make now. I knew I’d be miserable because that company’s mission was in direct contrast to my personal morals / ethics.

I make a teacher’s salary and I’m quite content. It’s hard work (very, very hard), but I know I have directly impacted thousands. I’ve never felt this soul sucking you mention. .

If your job is sucking your soul, maybe try something else? Money actually isn’t everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was in college it was a badge of honor to say you didn't care about money. Then we all realized the "fulfilling" jobs are just jobs that don't pay well. They still suck your soul.

Disagree. I turned down a job right out of college that would have paid me 3x the teaching salary I make now. I knew I’d be miserable because that company’s mission was in direct contrast to my personal morals / ethics.

I make a teacher’s salary and I’m quite content. It’s hard work (very, very hard), but I know I have directly impacted thousands. I’ve never felt this soul sucking you mention. .

If your job is sucking your soul, maybe try something else? Money actually isn’t everything.

Thank you for the work you do. I'm grateful for it especially because I know I would be a terrible teacher and I'd absolutely hate it. I do think there are lucky people who can have a career doing something they love. I don't think that's the norm though. I have a public sector salary doing what I would think I would love. At the end of the day it is a job that I'd prefer not to have to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was in college it was a badge of honor to say you didn't care about money. Then we all realized the "fulfilling" jobs are just jobs that don't pay well. They still suck your soul.

Disagree. I turned down a job right out of college that would have paid me 3x the teaching salary I make now. I knew I’d be miserable because that company’s mission was in direct contrast to my personal morals / ethics.

I make a teacher’s salary and I’m quite content. It’s hard work (very, very hard), but I know I have directly impacted thousands. I’ve never felt this soul sucking you mention. .

If your job is sucking your soul, maybe try something else? Money actually isn’t everything.

Thank you for the work you do. I'm grateful for it especially because I know I would be a terrible teacher and I'd absolutely hate it. I do think there are lucky people who can have a career doing something they love. I don't think that's the norm though. I have a public sector salary doing what I would think I would love. At the end of the day it is a job that I'd prefer not to have to do.

+100

Also, the teaching profession is seeing a mass exodus. Lots of teachers are quitting, in part because the relentless micromanaging of teachers is indeed soul-sucking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was in college it was a badge of honor to say you didn't care about money. Then we all realized the "fulfilling" jobs are just jobs that don't pay well. They still suck your soul.

Disagree. I turned down a job right out of college that would have paid me 3x the teaching salary I make now. I knew I’d be miserable because that company’s mission was in direct contrast to my personal morals / ethics.

I make a teacher’s salary and I’m quite content. It’s hard work (very, very hard), but I know I have directly impacted thousands. I’ve never felt this soul sucking you mention. .

If your job is sucking your soul, maybe try something else? Money actually isn’t everything.

Thank you for the work you do. I'm grateful for it especially because I know I would be a terrible teacher and I'd absolutely hate it. I do think there are lucky people who can have a career doing something they love. I don't think that's the norm though. I have a public sector salary doing what I would think I would love. At the end of the day it is a job that I'd prefer not to have to do.

+100

Also, the teaching profession is seeing a mass exodus. Lots of teachers are quitting, in part because the relentless micromanaging of teachers is indeed soul-sucking.

I’m the teacher above. Yes, we are seeing major departures because of the nonsense thrown on teachers right now. I’ve posted here on DCUM about it. Still, that doesn’t change the meaningful nature of the work. My time in the classroom is important and I focus on the impact I can make there. (Actually, shielding students from the senseless decisions of central office and the non-teacher consultants they hire is a big reason my work is important.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of the why is that we have choices, so we want to make choices that align with our values whether that's money or joy. A PP mentioned being part of a blue-collar union. If you grew up knowing you'd be a farmer like your dad, or go work at the GM car factory in Detroit like all your uncles, you weren't thinking about fulfillment. You knew it was the path you were destined for and focused on financial stability. Not wealth, just stable middle class life.

Knowing I don't have to follow in my parents' footsteps I have the ability to make life choices. Our young people are being guided in schools that academics is important because it opens doors and unlocks roads to fulfillment. If that isn't coupled with hard conversations about being self-supporting, being able to save for retirement, raise children and so on then it's easy to get lost in the airy-fairy part of joy and making an impact.

You do realize it’s possible to have both an “airy-fairy” career that makes an impact AND the ability to live comfortably? I have one of those jobs, and I’m still able to save for my kids’ college and my own retirement. I may have to sit in coach when I travel, but that isn’t a problem to me since that seat ends up at the same destination as the first class seat.

It’s extremely shortsighted to think people in lower paying professions can’t have things like financial security. I’m living proof we can.

LOL I was a NP. You do realize mentors do this on our free time and receive literally no benefit from it? Do however continue calling random career services offices tattling on alumni. They can barely get any of us to sign up.

+1 the person who whom you’re responding is an absolute douche hypocrite.
Seriously a cop and govt worker here. We do all those things too. We also have advanced educations. The myopic view of those making higher incomes is bizarre.

Ivy mentor here. I think the real issue is that these kids want the airy-fairy job without realizing there is a lot of grunt work in everything to get there. I promise you they would consider your cop and government worker positions extraordinarily pathetic (esp the cops) because of social justice. I don't disagree with them, I don't think either of your professions are anything but incredibly self-serving, and then you're too poor to even donate enough to make a difference.

That being said, they don't want your jobs. They want a job defunding the police that lets them be the leader, work random hours, and also pays their bills. That just doesn't happen. If you truly want to disrupt you suck it up make the most money possible and then go ham.

Your first paragraph makes me question if you’re remotely fit for your job. I don’t care if you are at an Ivy or not. You think service professions are self-serving? You also think police and government work is “pathetic”? You have no business talking to people about their future goals. And “too poor to donate”? That was a joke, correct?

If you talk to my child from a place of mentoring/helping, and THIS is the nonsense she gets from you, I’ll be calling your direct supervisor in a flash. Of course, the previous PP may be correct. You can’t teach the soulless what it is like to have a soul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of the why is that we have choices, so we want to make choices that align with our values whether that's money or joy. A PP mentioned being part of a blue-collar union. If you grew up knowing you'd be a farmer like your dad, or go work at the GM car factory in Detroit like all your uncles, you weren't thinking about fulfillment. You knew it was the path you were destined for and focused on financial stability. Not wealth, just stable middle class life.

Knowing I don't have to follow in my parents' footsteps I have the ability to make life choices. Our young people are being guided in schools that academics is important because it opens doors and unlocks roads to fulfillment. If that isn't coupled with hard conversations about being self-supporting, being able to save for retirement, raise children and so on then it's easy to get lost in the airy-fairy part of joy and making an impact.

You do realize it’s possible to have both an “airy-fairy” career that makes an impact AND the ability to live comfortably? I have one of those jobs, and I’m still able to save for my kids’ college and my own retirement. I may have to sit in coach when I travel, but that isn’t a problem to me since that seat ends up at the same destination as the first class seat.

It’s extremely shortsighted to think people in lower paying professions can’t have things like financial security. I’m living proof we can.

+1 the person who whom you’re responding is an absolute douche hypocrite.
Seriously a cop and govt worker here. We do all those things too. We also have advanced educations. The myopic view of those making higher incomes is bizarre.

Ivy mentor here. I think the real issue is that these kids want the airy-fairy job without realizing there is a lot of grunt work in everything to get there. I promise you they would consider your cop and government worker positions extraordinarily pathetic (esp the cops) because of social justice. I don't disagree with them, I don't think either of your professions are anything but incredibly self-serving, and then you're too poor to even donate enough to make a difference.

That being said, they don't want your jobs. They want a job defunding the police that lets them be the leader, work random hours, and also pays their bills. That just doesn't happen. If you truly want to disrupt you suck it up make the most money possible and then go ham.

Your first paragraph makes me question if you’re remotely fit for your job. I don’t care if you are at an Ivy or not. You think service professions are self-serving? You also think police and government work is “pathetic”? You have no business talking to people about their future goals. And “too poor to donate”? That was a joke, correct?

If you talk to my child from a place of mentoring/helping, and THIS is the nonsense she gets from you, I’ll be calling your direct supervisor in a flash. Of course, the previous PP may be correct. You can’t teach the soulless what it is like to have a soul.

LOL I was a NP. You do realize mentors do this on our free time and receive literally no benefit from it? Do however continue calling random career services offices tattling on alumni. They can barely get any of us to sign up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of the why is that we have choices, so we want to make choices that align with our values whether that's money or joy. A PP mentioned being part of a blue-collar union. If you grew up knowing you'd be a farmer like your dad, or go work at the GM car factory in Detroit like all your uncles, you weren't thinking about fulfillment. You knew it was the path you were destined for and focused on financial stability. Not wealth, just stable middle class life.

Knowing I don't have to follow in my parents' footsteps I have the ability to make life choices. Our young people are being guided in schools that academics is important because it opens doors and unlocks roads to fulfillment. If that isn't coupled with hard conversations about being self-supporting, being able to save for retirement, raise children and so on then it's easy to get lost in the airy-fairy part of joy and making an impact.

You do realize it’s possible to have both an “airy-fairy” career that makes an impact AND the ability to live comfortably? I have one of those jobs, and I’m still able to save for my kids’ college and my own retirement. I may have to sit in coach when I travel, but that isn’t a problem to me since that seat ends up at the same destination as the first class seat.

It’s extremely shortsighted to think people in lower paying professions can’t have things like financial security. I’m living proof we can.

+1 the person who whom you’re responding is an absolute douche hypocrite.
Seriously a cop and govt worker here. We do all those things too. We also have advanced educations. The myopic view of those making higher incomes is bizarre.

Ivy mentor here. I think the real issue is that these kids want the airy-fairy job without realizing there is a lot of grunt work in everything to get there. I promise you they would consider your cop and government worker positions extraordinarily pathetic (esp the cops) because of social justice. I don't disagree with them, I don't think either of your professions are anything but incredibly self-serving, and then you're too poor to even donate enough to make a difference.

That being said, they don't want your jobs. They want a job defunding the police that lets them be the leader, work random hours, and also pays their bills. That just doesn't happen. If you truly want to disrupt you suck it up make the most money possible and then go ham.

Your first paragraph makes me question if you’re remotely fit for your job. I don’t care if you are at an Ivy or not. You think service professions are self-serving? You also think police and government work is “pathetic”? You have no business talking to people about their future goals. And “too poor to donate”? That was a joke, correct?

If you talk to my child from a place of mentoring/helping, and THIS is the nonsense she gets from you, I’ll be calling your direct supervisor in a flash. Of course, the previous PP may be correct. You can’t teach the soulless what it is like to have a soul.

LOL I was a NP. You do realize mentors do this on our free time and receive literally no benefit from it? Do however continue calling random career services offices tattling on alumni. They can barely get any of us to sign up.

PP here. And I don't think service professions are self-serving (i.e., teaching, social work, healthcare). But I do sincerely believe "cop" and "government worker" are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was in college it was a badge of honor to say you didn't care about money. Then we all realized the "fulfilling" jobs are just jobs that don't pay well. They still suck your soul.

Disagree. I turned down a job right out of college that would have paid me 3x the teaching salary I make now. I knew I’d be miserable because that company’s mission was in direct contrast to my personal morals / ethics.

I make a teacher’s salary and I’m quite content. It’s hard work (very, very hard), but I know I have directly impacted thousands. I’ve never felt this soul sucking you mention. .

If your job is sucking your soul, maybe try something else? Money actually isn’t everything.

Thank you for the work you do. I'm grateful for it especially because I know I would be a terrible teacher and I'd absolutely hate it. I do think there are lucky people who can have a career doing something they love. I don't think that's the norm though. I have a public sector salary doing what I would think I would love. At the end of the day it is a job that I'd prefer not to have to do.

+100

Also, the teaching profession is seeing a mass exodus. Lots of teachers are quitting, in part because the relentless micromanaging of teachers is indeed soul-sucking.

I’m the teacher above. Yes, we are seeing major departures because of the nonsense thrown on teachers right now. I’ve posted here on DCUM about it. Still, that doesn’t change the meaningful nature of the work. My time in the classroom is important and I focus on the impact I can make there. (Actually, shielding students from the senseless decisions of central office and the non-teacher consultants they hire is a big reason my work is important.)

I do work that is important too, but I don't enjoy it. I know in my job (not teaching) there are a lot of things that prevent my work from having the impact it should have, and that is frustrating and makes it feel a bit like a hamster wheel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post hits home! I’ve find it really hard to mentor students. I totally understand wanting to do fulfilling work. I like my job. It’s good work and I help people. AND, I like that I can afford to make 3-4 international vacations a year and enjoy fine dining etc.

I make $187k + bonus (single. No kids and I’m 38). Along the way, I took some jobs that were not great, but gave me skills I need to keep progressing. Those jobs (ie budget analyst) sucked, but I chose to see the positive and knew it was just a stop along the way.

My sister refused to “sell her soul.” She make $60k with a kid and struggles. She can’t do ANYTHING. Even a pedicure is a tough spend for her. She has to go on a 18 month payment plan for a 4 day vacation at some 3 star resort in the Bahamas or our dad pays. More often than not, dad pays.

Just curious, what is your job and what has your career path looked like? Also, just curious, why do you need a high paying job if you don’t have any kids?

NP here. So if you do not have kids, you should just take some low-paying job? That suggestion does not make sense. If PP is capable and motivated, she should make as much as she can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because from Gen X on people have been shoveling the BS message that if you do what you love the money will come so people expect to basketweave or chant and become independently wealthy. Work is to provide income. If you enjoy it you are lucky, but ultimately it is to provide income.

Exactly!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was in college it was a badge of honor to say you didn't care about money. Then we all realized the "fulfilling" jobs are just jobs that don't pay well. They still suck your soul.

Disagree. I turned down a job right out of college that would have paid me 3x the teaching salary I make now. I knew I’d be miserable because that company’s mission was in direct contrast to my personal morals / ethics.

I make a teacher’s salary and I’m quite content. It’s hard work (very, very hard), but I know I have directly impacted thousands. I’ve never felt this soul sucking you mention. .

If your job is sucking your soul, maybe try something else? Money actually isn’t everything.

Thank you for the work you do. I'm grateful for it especially because I know I would be a terrible teacher and I'd absolutely hate it. I do think there are lucky people who can have a career doing something they love. I don't think that's the norm though. I have a public sector salary doing what I would think I would love. At the end of the day it is a job that I'd prefer not to have to do.

+100

Also, the teaching profession is seeing a mass exodus. Lots of teachers are quitting, in part because the relentless micromanaging of teachers is indeed soul-sucking.

I’m the teacher above. Yes, we are seeing major departures because of the nonsense thrown on teachers right now. I’ve posted here on DCUM about it. Still, that doesn’t change the meaningful nature of the work. My time in the classroom is important and I focus on the impact I can make there. (Actually, shielding students from the senseless decisions of central office and the non-teacher consultants they hire is a big reason my work is important.)

I do work that is important too, but I don't enjoy it. I know in my job (not teaching) there are a lot of things that prevent my work from having the impact it should have, and that is frustrating and makes it feel a bit like a hamster wheel.

But you are afraid to find something that is actually fulfilling. Fear is the major reason for unhappiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was in college it was a badge of honor to say you didn't care about money. Then we all realized the "fulfilling" jobs are just jobs that don't pay well. They still suck your soul.

Disagree. I turned down a job right out of college that would have paid me 3x the teaching salary I make now. I knew I’d be miserable because that company’s mission was in direct contrast to my personal morals / ethics.

I make a teacher’s salary and I’m quite content. It’s hard work (very, very hard), but I know I have directly impacted thousands. I’ve never felt this soul sucking you mention. .

If your job is sucking your soul, maybe try something else? Money actually isn’t everything.

Thank you for the work you do. I'm grateful for it especially because I know I would be a terrible teacher and I'd absolutely hate it. I do think there are lucky people who can have a career doing something they love. I don't think that's the norm though. I have a public sector salary doing what I would think I would love. At the end of the day it is a job that I'd prefer not to have to do.

+100

Also, the teaching profession is seeing a mass exodus. Lots of teachers are quitting, in part because the relentless micromanaging of teachers is indeed soul-sucking.

I’m the teacher above. Yes, we are seeing major departures because of the nonsense thrown on teachers right now. I’ve posted here on DCUM about it. Still, that doesn’t change the meaningful nature of the work. My time in the classroom is important and I focus on the impact I can make there. (Actually, shielding students from the senseless decisions of central office and the non-teacher consultants they hire is a big reason my work is important.)

NP chiming in with another expression of appreciation for what you do.

I also have a low-paying government service job that I enjoy, and what makes it tolerable is the support of my colleagues and supervisors in appreciating the work we do. They can't give us more money, but they (for the most part) help to manage expectations and workload to provide a decent work/life balance. I sometimes get frustrated when I hear teachers complaining about not being paid enough, but the more I listen, the more I understand how the lack of autonomy more than anything pushes out of an already challenging profession.

[Anonymous]

I find my job fulfilling. I’m generation X, majored in a maligned humanity that people rolled their eyes at, but managed to pursue a career relating to it, make a decent salary with benefits doing aomething I find interesting even after 25 year, and it’s not soul-sucking. Realize I am lucky, that many on DCUM would scoff at my salary at this point in my life ($130k), but I would never tell someone they don’t need to worry about job satisfaction or that big money is the main goal of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I am glad that you were straightforward and told her publishing jobs are for rich kids. I am in my late 40' s and my peer group were not given such truths. Many of my peers naively chose those routes. We didn't know that nonprofit, museum, etc jobs are for people with trust funds.

I am a museum worker whose parents had no money or savings and I did not inherit anything when they passed except for some knicknacks.