Why do people expect a “fulfilling” career?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I am glad that you were straightforward and told her publishing jobs are for rich kids. I am in my late 40' s and my peer group were not given such truths. Many of my peers naively chose those routes. We didn't know that nonprofit, museum, etc jobs are for people with trust funds.

I am a museum worker whose parents had no money or savings and I did not inherit anything when they passed except for some knicknacks.

So you’re either full of regret or married well, correct?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was in college it was a badge of honor to say you didn't care about money. Then we all realized the "fulfilling" jobs are just jobs that don't pay well. They still suck your soul.

Disagree. I turned down a job right out of college that would have paid me 3x the teaching salary I make now. I knew I’d be miserable because that company’s mission was in direct contrast to my personal morals / ethics.

I make a teacher’s salary and I’m quite content. It’s hard work (very, very hard), but I know I have directly impacted thousands. I’ve never felt this soul sucking you mention. .

If your job is sucking your soul, maybe try something else? Money actually isn’t everything.

Thank you for the work you do. I'm grateful for it especially because I know I would be a terrible teacher and I'd absolutely hate it. I do think there are lucky people who can have a career doing something they love. I don't think that's the norm though. I have a public sector salary doing what I would think I would love. At the end of the day it is a job that I'd prefer not to have to do.

+100

Also, the teaching profession is seeing a mass exodus. Lots of teachers are quitting, in part because the relentless micromanaging of teachers is indeed soul-sucking.

I’m the teacher above. Yes, we are seeing major departures because of the nonsense thrown on teachers right now. I’ve posted here on DCUM about it. Still, that doesn’t change the meaningful nature of the work. My time in the classroom is important and I focus on the impact I can make there. (Actually, shielding students from the senseless decisions of central office and the non-teacher consultants they hire is a big reason my work is important.)

I do work that is important too, but I don't enjoy it. I know in my job (not teaching) there are a lot of things that prevent my work from having the impact it should have, and that is frustrating and makes it feel a bit like a hamster wheel.

But you are afraid to find something that is actually fulfilling. Fear is the major reason for unhappiness.

Maybe OP is “afraid” to find something ”actually fulfilling” because she’s worried about paying her mortgage or for her kids’ college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I am glad that you were straightforward and told her publishing jobs are for rich kids. I am in my late 40' s and my peer group were not given such truths. Many of my peers naively chose those routes. We didn't know that nonprofit, museum, etc jobs are for people with trust funds.

I am a museum worker whose parents had no money or savings and I did not inherit anything when they passed except for some knicknacks.

So you’re either full of regret or married well, correct?

Could be she is a middle aged singleton, living her best life in a cozy urban apartment and hitting museum sponsored galas as every week.

If she doesn’t ever have kids, life is greatly simplified and a lot of millennials are going that route.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I am glad that you were straightforward and told her publishing jobs are for rich kids. I am in my late 40' s and my peer group were not given such truths. Many of my peers naively chose those routes. We didn't know that nonprofit, museum, etc jobs are for people with trust funds.

I am a museum worker whose parents had no money or savings and I did not inherit anything when they passed except for some knicknacks.

So you’re either full of regret or married well, correct?

Could be she is a middle aged singleton, living her best life in a cozy urban apartment and hitting museum sponsored galas as every week.

If she doesn’t ever have kids, life is greatly simplified and a lot of millennials are going that route.

Hah, we bought our house from one of these. Hadn’t paid her water bill in 3 years, tax lien on the house, but left tons of designer trash for us to clean up.

Only if you’re white, for real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I am glad that you were straightforward and told her publishing jobs are for rich kids. I am in my late 40' s and my peer group were not given such truths. Many of my peers naively chose those routes. We didn't know that nonprofit, museum, etc jobs are for people with trust funds.

I am a museum worker whose parents had no money or savings and I did not inherit anything when they passed except for some knicknacks.

So you’re either full of regret or married well, correct?

Could be she is a middle aged singleton, living her best life in a cozy urban apartment and hitting museum sponsored galas as every week.

If she doesn’t ever have kids, life is greatly simplified and a lot of millennials are going that route.

Hah, we bought our house from one of these. Hadn’t paid her water bill in 3 years, tax lien on the house, but left tons of designer trash for us to clean up.

Only if you’re white, for real.

This.

Also, being “child free” seems depressing as hell to me. Every parent I know talks about how their kids bring so much meaning to their life. And seeing the childless 40 year olds in DC go out for adult kickball leagues or museum sponsored galas just seems depressing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I am glad that you were straightforward and told her publishing jobs are for rich kids. I am in my late 40' s and my peer group were not given such truths. Many of my peers naively chose those routes. We didn't know that nonprofit, museum, etc jobs are for people with trust funds.

I am a museum worker whose parents had no money or savings and I did not inherit anything when they passed except for some knicknacks.

So you’re either full of regret or married well, correct?

Could be she is a middle aged singleton, living her best life in a cozy urban apartment and hitting museum sponsored galas as every week.

If she doesn’t ever have kids, life is greatly simplified and a lot of millennials are going that route.

Hah, we bought our house from one of these. Hadn’t paid her water bill in 3 years, tax lien on the house, but left tons of designer trash for us to clean up.

Only if you’re white, for real.

This.

Also, being “child free” seems depressing as hell to me. Every parent I know talks about how their kids bring so much meaning to their life. And seeing the childless 40 year olds in DC go out for adult kickball leagues or museum sponsored galas just seems depressing.

Seems depressing for you, but may be fulfilling to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of the why is that we have choices, so we want to make choices that align with our values whether that's money or joy. A PP mentioned being part of a blue-collar union. If you grew up knowing you'd be a farmer like your dad, or go work at the GM car factory in Detroit like all your uncles, you weren't thinking about fulfillment. You knew it was the path you were destined for and focused on financial stability. Not wealth, just stable middle class life.

Knowing I don't have to follow in my parents' footsteps I have the ability to make life choices. Our young people are being guided in schools that academics is important because it opens doors and unlocks roads to fulfillment. If that isn't coupled with hard conversations about being self-supporting, being able to save for retirement, raise children and so on then it's easy to get lost in the airy-fairy part of joy and making an impact.

You do realize it’s possible to have both an “airy-fairy” career that makes an impact AND the ability to live comfortably? I have one of those jobs, and I’m still able to save for my kids’ college and my own retirement. I may have to sit in coach when I travel, but that isn’t a problem to me since that seat ends up at the same destination as the first class seat.

It’s extremely shortsighted to think people in lower paying professions can’t have things like financial security. I’m living proof we can.

+1 the person who whom you’re responding is an absolute douche hypocrite.
Seriously a cop and govt worker here. We do all those things too. We also have advanced educations. The myopic view of those making higher incomes is bizarre.

Ivy mentor here. I think the real issue is that these kids want the airy-fairy job without realizing there is a lot of grunt work in everything to get there. I promise you they would consider your cop and government worker positions extraordinarily pathetic (esp the cops) because of social justice. I don't disagree with them, I don't think either of your professions are anything but incredibly self-serving, and then you're too poor to even donate enough to make a difference.

That being said, they don't want your jobs. They want a job defunding the police that lets them be the leader, work random hours, and also pays their bills. That just doesn't happen. If you truly want to disrupt you suck it up make the most money possible and then go ham.

Your first paragraph makes me question if you’re remotely fit for your job. I don’t care if you are at an Ivy or not. You think service professions are self-serving? You also think police and government work is “pathetic”? You have no business talking to people about their future goals. And “too poor to donate”? That was a joke, correct?

If you talk to my child from a place of mentoring/helping, and THIS is the nonsense she gets from you, I’ll be calling your direct supervisor in a flash. Of course, the previous PP may be correct. You can’t teach the soulless what it is like to have a soul.

LOL I was a NP. You do realize mentors do this on our free time and receive literally no benefit from it? Do however continue calling random career services offices tattling on alumni. They can barely get any of us to sign up.

Is that why they get the bottom of the barrel? Having a bad mentor is not better than having no mentor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I am glad that you were straightforward and told her publishing jobs are for rich kids. I am in my late 40' s and my peer group were not given such truths. Many of my peers naively chose those routes. We didn't know that nonprofit, museum, etc jobs are for people with trust funds.

I am a museum worker whose parents had no money or savings and I did not inherit anything when they passed except for some knicknacks.

So you’re either full of regret or married well, correct?

Could be she is a middle aged singleton, living her best life in a cozy urban apartment and hitting museum sponsored galas as every week.

If she doesn’t ever have kids, life is greatly simplified and a lot of millennials are going that route.

Hah, we bought our house from one of these. Hadn’t paid her water bill in 3 years, tax lien on the house, but left tons of designer trash for us to clean up.

Only if you’re white, for real.

You guys are literally the people we avoid our whole lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I am glad that you were straightforward and told her publishing jobs are for rich kids. I am in my late 40' s and my peer group were not given such truths. Many of my peers naively chose those routes. We didn't know that nonprofit, museum, etc jobs are for people with trust funds.

I am a museum worker whose parents had no money or savings and I did not inherit anything when they passed except for some knicknacks.

So you’re either full of regret or married well, correct?

Could be she is a middle aged singleton, living her best life in a cozy urban apartment and hitting museum sponsored galas as every week.

If she doesn’t ever have kids, life is greatly simplified and a lot of millennials are going that route.

Hah, we bought our house from one of these. Hadn’t paid her water bill in 3 years, tax lien on the house, but left tons of designer trash for us to clean up.

Only if you’re white, for real.

You guys are literally the people we avoid our whole lives.

Oh no, how dare an adult have to take responsibility!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I am glad that you were straightforward and told her publishing jobs are for rich kids. I am in my late 40' s and my peer group were not given such truths. Many of my peers naively chose those routes. We didn't know that nonprofit, museum, etc jobs are for people with trust funds.

I am a museum worker whose parents had no money or savings and I did not inherit anything when they passed except for some knicknacks.

So you’re either full of regret or married well, correct?

Could be she is a middle aged singleton, living her best life in a cozy urban apartment and hitting museum sponsored galas as every week.

If she doesn’t ever have kids, life is greatly simplified and a lot of millennials are going that route.

Hah, we bought our house from one of these. Hadn’t paid her water bill in 3 years, tax lien on the house, but left tons of designer trash for us to clean up.

Only if you’re white, for real.

This.

Also, being “child free” seems depressing as hell to me. Every parent I know talks about how their kids bring so much meaning to their life. And seeing the childless 40 year olds in DC go out for adult kickball leagues or museum sponsored galas just seems depressing.

Children are not the only way to have meaning in life and eventually they grow up and move away from you so they shouldn’t be your main source of self fulfilment. They can also be more trouble than they are worth, ask Jeffery Dahmers parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I am glad that you were straightforward and told her publishing jobs are for rich kids. I am in my late 40' s and my peer group were not given such truths. Many of my peers naively chose those routes. We didn't know that nonprofit, museum, etc jobs are for people with trust funds.

I am a museum worker whose parents had no money or savings and I did not inherit anything when they passed except for some knicknacks.

So you’re either full of regret or married well, correct?

Could be she is a middle aged singleton, living her best life in a cozy urban apartment and hitting museum sponsored galas as every week.

If she doesn’t ever have kids, life is greatly simplified and a lot of millennials are going that route.

Hah, we bought our house from one of these. Hadn’t paid her water bill in 3 years, tax lien on the house, but left tons of designer trash for us to clean up.

Only if you’re white, for real.

You guys are literally the people we avoid our whole lives.

Oh no, how dare an adult have to take responsibility!!

Lol right? Literally responding to a post about a debtor who should have been evicted ten times over but wasn’t because white lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of the why is that we have choices, so we want to make choices that align with our values whether that's money or joy. A PP mentioned being part of a blue-collar union. If you grew up knowing you'd be a farmer like your dad, or go work at the GM car factory in Detroit like all your uncles, you weren't thinking about fulfillment. You knew it was the path you were destined for and focused on financial stability. Not wealth, just stable middle class life.

Knowing I don't have to follow in my parents' footsteps I have the ability to make life choices. Our young people are being guided in schools that academics is important because it opens doors and unlocks roads to fulfillment. If that isn't coupled with hard conversations about being self-supporting, being able to save for retirement, raise children and so on then it's easy to get lost in the airy-fairy part of joy and making an impact.

You do realize it’s possible to have both an “airy-fairy” career that makes an impact AND the ability to live comfortably? I have one of those jobs, and I’m still able to save for my kids’ college and my own retirement. I may have to sit in coach when I travel, but that isn’t a problem to me since that seat ends up at the same destination as the first class seat.

It’s extremely shortsighted to think people in lower paying professions can’t have things like financial security. I’m living proof we can.

+1 the person who whom you’re responding is an absolute douche hypocrite.
Seriously a cop and govt worker here. We do all those things too. We also have advanced educations. The myopic view of those making higher incomes is bizarre.

Ivy mentor here. I think the real issue is that these kids want the airy-fairy job without realizing there is a lot of grunt work in everything to get there. I promise you they would consider your cop and government worker positions extraordinarily pathetic (esp the cops) because of social justice. I don't disagree with them, I don't think either of your professions are anything but incredibly self-serving, and then you're too poor to even donate enough to make a difference.

That being said, they don't want your jobs. They want a job defunding the police that lets them be the leader, work random hours, and also pays their bills. That just doesn't happen. If you truly want to disrupt you suck it up make the most money possible and then go ham.

Your first paragraph makes me question if you’re remotely fit for your job. I don’t care if you are at an Ivy or not. You think service professions are self-serving? You also think police and government work is “pathetic”? You have no business talking to people about their future goals. And “too poor to donate”? That was a joke, correct?

If you talk to my child from a place of mentoring/helping, and THIS is the nonsense she gets from you, I’ll be calling your direct supervisor in a flash. Of course, the previous PP may be correct. You can’t teach the soulless what it is like to have a soul.

LOL I was a NP. You do realize mentors do this on our free time and receive literally no benefit from it? Do however continue calling random career services offices tattling on alumni. They can barely get any of us to sign up.

Is that why they get the bottom of the barrel? Having a bad mentor is not better than having no mentor.

Nah we know how to mentor the kids with potential. Idiots who can’t figure out why easy airy-fairy jobs aren’t the way to optimize your impact regardless of your goal are not those kids.

We don’t waste our time trying to help kids whose mommies get involved in their college kids’ career prospects. But let’s be real, your kids aren’t at Ivies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of the why is that we have choices, so we want to make choices that align with our values whether that's money or joy. A PP mentioned being part of a blue-collar union. If you grew up knowing you'd be a farmer like your dad, or go work at the GM car factory in Detroit like all your uncles, you weren't thinking about fulfillment. You knew it was the path you were destined for and focused on financial stability. Not wealth, just stable middle class life.

Knowing I don't have to follow in my parents' footsteps I have the ability to make life choices. Our young people are being guided in schools that academics is important because it opens doors and unlocks roads to fulfillment. If that isn't coupled with hard conversations about being self-supporting, being able to save for retirement, raise children and so on then it's easy to get lost in the airy-fairy part of joy and making an impact.

You do realize it’s possible to have both an “airy-fairy” career that makes an impact AND the ability to live comfortably? I have one of those jobs, and I’m still able to save for my kids’ college and my own retirement. I may have to sit in coach when I travel, but that isn’t a problem to me since that seat ends up at the same destination as the first class seat.

It’s extremely shortsighted to think people in lower paying professions can’t have things like financial security. I’m living proof we can.

+1 the person who whom you’re responding is an absolute douche hypocrite.
Seriously a cop and govt worker here. We do all those things too. We also have advanced educations. The myopic view of those making higher incomes is bizarre.

Ivy mentor here. I think the real issue is that these kids want the airy-fairy job without realizing there is a lot of grunt work in everything to get there. I promise you they would consider your cop and government worker positions extraordinarily pathetic (esp the cops) because of social justice. I don't disagree with them, I don't think either of your professions are anything but incredibly self-serving, and then you're too poor to even donate enough to make a difference.

That being said, they don't want your jobs. They want a job defunding the police that lets them be the leader, work random hours, and also pays their bills. That just doesn't happen. If you truly want to disrupt you suck it up make the most money possible and then go ham.

Your first paragraph makes me question if you’re remotely fit for your job. I don’t care if you are at an Ivy or not. You think service professions are self-serving? You also think police and government work is “pathetic”? You have no business talking to people about their future goals. And “too poor to donate”? That was a joke, correct?

If you talk to my child from a place of mentoring/helping, and THIS is the nonsense she gets from you, I’ll be calling your direct supervisor in a flash. Of course, the previous PP may be correct. You can’t teach the soulless what it is like to have a soul.

LOL I was a NP. You do realize mentors do this on our free time and receive literally no benefit from it? Do however continue calling random career services offices tattling on alumni. They can barely get any of us to sign up.

Is that why they get the bottom of the barrel? Having a bad mentor is not better than having no mentor.

Nah we know how to mentor the kids with potential. Idiots who can’t figure out why easy airy-fairy jobs aren’t the way to optimize your impact regardless of your goal are not those kids.

We don’t waste our time trying to help kids whose mommies get involved in their college kids’ career prospects. But let’s be real, your kids aren’t at Ivies.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I am glad that you were straightforward and told her publishing jobs are for rich kids. I am in my late 40' s and my peer group were not given such truths. Many of my peers naively chose those routes. We didn't know that nonprofit, museum, etc jobs are for people with trust funds.

I am a museum worker whose parents had no money or savings and I did not inherit anything when they passed except for some knicknacks.

So you’re either full of regret or married well, correct?

Could be she is a middle aged singleton, living her best life in a cozy urban apartment and hitting museum sponsored galas as every week.

If she doesn’t ever have kids, life is greatly simplified and a lot of millennials are going that route.

Hah, we bought our house from one of these. Hadn’t paid her water bill in 3 years, tax lien on the house, but left tons of designer trash for us to clean up.

Only if you’re white, for real.

This.

Also, being “child free” seems depressing as hell to me. Every parent I know talks about how their kids bring so much meaning to their life. And seeing the childless 40 year olds in DC go out for adult kickball leagues or museum sponsored galas just seems depressing.

Children are not the only way to have meaning in life and eventually they grow up and move away from you so they shouldn’t be your main source of self fulfilment. They can also be more trouble than they are worth, ask Jeffery Dahmers parents.

For the vast majority of parents, their kids ARE their main source of self fulfillment. Full stop.

[Anonymous]

And that’s why there are so many crazy stage, sports etc parents. They live vicariously through their children. That’s depressing!