Why do people expect a “fulfilling” career?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an alumni mentor for my college (an Ivy FWIW), and I keep seeing a misconception among the college students I’m assigned to mentee — that your job/career will bring you meaning or fulfillment in life.

For example, I was recently paired with a sophomore from my college who was in the same major as me (English). I’m guessing she’s from a low income background as her Linkedin says that she’s a Questbridge student. She reached out to me and asked for suggestions on careers for an English major that don’t require law school — I suggested software sales (my career), corporate communications, management consulting, and investment banking (the last two being more achievable if she double majors in Econ).

She told me that these options sounded “soul-sucking and depressing,” and that she was hoping to go into journalism or publishing. I told her that those are fields only for rich kids — poor kids like her shouldn’t touch those with a ten-foot pole.

I don’t understand why this generation expects work to be meaningful or fulfilling. Work is a way to make money for all but the wealthy. So why the navel-gazing and entitlement?

Part of the privilege of going to an Ivy is the ability to get a job that makes a ton of money while also being meaningful and fulfilling. That you haven’t figured this out for yourself makes you a poor alumni mentor. I hope this student realizes this and finds a better mentor.

+100. I’m living the cushy life I have today because of connections I got through my Ivy mentors. That’s the job of a mentor— to show alumni how to use the network. Not to tell them to take soul sucking jobs.

I went to an Ivy. How in the world did you get mentors to invest in you or even meet any? I’ve been to dozens of local alumni meetups, reunions, but never had someone take any professional interest in my career. Do you seek them out somehow and pester them about what they did??

[Anonymous]

I have done consulting, finance, IT, sales. banking etc and found it fulfilling.

Non profit is all crap work that really helps no one. I interviewed a few of those type places and most are holding pens for lazy people who pretend to care

[Anonymous]

Why do they have the soulless mentoring?

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why this generation expects work to be meaningful or fulfilling. Work is a way to make money for all but the wealthy. So why the navel-gazing and entitlement?

Perhaps mentoring is not for you. These students are making it clear that they think work can be meaningful and fulfilling, and you're missing their cues to guide them towards professions and jobs that might fulfill that.

My parents worked public service jobs that they found meaningful and fulfilling, and so do I. Work makes me money but it also helps me feel like my existence makes a difference (for the people I work with). It's certainly not entitlement, as I am working-class. But it works for me and many other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an alumni mentor for my college (an Ivy FWIW), and I keep seeing a misconception among the college students I’m assigned to mentee — that your job/career will bring you meaning or fulfillment in life.

For example, I was recently paired with a sophomore from my college who was in the same major as me (English). I’m guessing she’s from a low income background as her Linkedin says that she’s a Questbridge student. She reached out to me and asked for suggestions on careers for an English major that don’t require law school — I suggested software sales (my career), corporate communications, management consulting, and investment banking (the last two being more achievable if she double majors in Econ).

She told me that these options sounded “soul-sucking and depressing,” and that she was hoping to go into journalism or publishing. I told her that those are fields only for rich kids — poor kids like her shouldn’t touch those with a ten-foot pole.

I don’t understand why this generation expects work to be meaningful or fulfilling. Work is a way to make money for all but the wealthy. So why the navel-gazing and entitlement?

Part of the privilege of going to an Ivy is the ability to get a job that makes a ton of money while also being meaningful and fulfilling. That you haven’t figured this out for yourself makes you a poor alumni mentor. I hope this student realizes this and finds a better mentor.

+100. I’m living the cushy life I have today because of connections I got through my Ivy mentors. That’s the job of a mentor— to show alumni how to use the network. Not to tell them to take soul sucking jobs.

I went to an Ivy. How in the world did you get mentors to invest in you or even meet any? I’ve been to dozens of local alumni meetups, reunions, but never had someone take any professional interest in my career. Do you seek them out somehow and pester them about what they did??

Can someone tell me more about finding mentors? I’m 40s now and too old and never had one of any kind other than a random professor in my major who wanted all his students to become his TAs in grad school. But for my kids, how do people find these if they don’t exist at work or as personal family/friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I don’t understand why this generation expects work to be meaningful or fulfilling. Work is a way to make money for all but the wealthy. So why the navel-gazing and entitlement?

Perhaps mentoring is not for you. These students are making it clear that they think work can be meaningful and fulfilling, and you're missing their cues to guide them towards professions and jobs that might fulfill that.

My parents worked public service jobs that they found meaningful and fulfilling, and so do I. Work makes me money but it also helps me feel like my existence makes a difference (for the people I work with). It's certainly not entitlement, as I am working-class. But it works for me and many other people.

I love this response.

I could have done many things in my life after attending a great college and getting two useful degrees. I went into teaching instead of following the path of my masters, which would have led to more money. I wanted a meaningful and fulfilling job. It doesn’t pay tons, but it pays enough that I can live comfortably.

I’m not sure you should be mentoring, OP. There are tons of meaningful jobs, and there is nothing wrong with living a modest, yet comfortable, life. I find value in my work, not in what type of travel I can afford. There are many like me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don’t understand why this generation expects work to be meaningful or fulfilling. Work is a way to make money for all but the wealthy. So why the navel-gazing and entitlement?

Perhaps mentoring is not for you. These students are making it clear that they think work can be meaningful and fulfilling, and you're missing their cues to guide them towards professions and jobs that might fulfill that.

My parents worked public service jobs that they found meaningful and fulfilling, and so do I. Work makes me money but it also helps me feel like my existence makes a difference (for the people I work with). It's certainly not entitlement, as I am working-class. But it works for me and many other people.

I love this response.

I could have done many things in my life after attending a great college and getting two useful degrees. I went into teaching instead of following the path of my masters, which would have led to more money. I wanted a meaningful and fulfilling job. It doesn’t pay tons, but it pays enough that I can live comfortably.

I’m not sure you should be mentoring, OP. There are tons of meaningful jobs, and there is nothing wrong with living a modest, yet comfortable, life. I find value in my work, not in what type of travel I can afford. There are many like me.

What does your spouse do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don’t understand why this generation expects work to be meaningful or fulfilling. Work is a way to make money for all but the wealthy. So why the navel-gazing and entitlement?

Perhaps mentoring is not for you. These students are making it clear that they think work can be meaningful and fulfilling, and you're missing their cues to guide them towards professions and jobs that might fulfill that.

My parents worked public service jobs that they found meaningful and fulfilling, and so do I. Work makes me money but it also helps me feel like my existence makes a difference (for the people I work with). It's certainly not entitlement, as I am working-class. But it works for me and many other people.

I love this response.

I could have done many things in my life after attending a great college and getting two useful degrees. I went into teaching instead of following the path of my masters, which would have led to more money. I wanted a meaningful and fulfilling job. It doesn’t pay tons, but it pays enough that I can live comfortably.

I’m not sure you should be mentoring, OP. There are tons of meaningful jobs, and there is nothing wrong with living a modest, yet comfortable, life. I find value in my work, not in what type of travel I can afford. There are many like me.

What does your spouse do?

He is also a teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a whole wide world between publishing and investment banking. How about psychology, public health, technical writing, or teaching? Not for profits are not all the same, and many of them (like mine) are practically indistinguishable from organizations that do the same work but take a profit. We pay market rate for researchers, financial analysts, software developers, managers, and strategy designers. Do I make a fortune? No. I make about $130 at age 50. But it is plenty, and I don’t give a hoot about being rich. I have enough, and I have a job that gives me meaning. Young people can have that, too. They should of course know what the jobs they are considering pay, though, so they aren’t blindsided.

What jobs are there in “psychology?” Even private practice psychologists have relatively low salaries and tons of student debt.

Most charge $400/hr

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don’t understand why this generation expects work to be meaningful or fulfilling. Work is a way to make money for all but the wealthy. So why the navel-gazing and entitlement?

Perhaps mentoring is not for you. These students are making it clear that they think work can be meaningful and fulfilling, and you're missing their cues to guide them towards professions and jobs that might fulfill that.

My parents worked public service jobs that they found meaningful and fulfilling, and so do I. Work makes me money but it also helps me feel like my existence makes a difference (for the people I work with). It's certainly not entitlement, as I am working-class. But it works for me and many other people.

I love this response.

I could have done many things in my life after attending a great college and getting two useful degrees. I went into teaching instead of following the path of my masters, which would have led to more money. I wanted a meaningful and fulfilling job. It doesn’t pay tons, but it pays enough that I can live comfortably.

I’m not sure you should be mentoring, OP. There are tons of meaningful jobs, and there is nothing wrong with living a modest, yet comfortable, life. I find value in my work, not in what type of travel I can afford. There are many like me.

Me too.

My H is a cop and did child abuser investigations. Very hard work but fulfilling.

I worked doing computer support for doctors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don’t understand why this generation expects work to be meaningful or fulfilling. Work is a way to make money for all but the wealthy. So why the navel-gazing and entitlement?

Perhaps mentoring is not for you. These students are making it clear that they think work can be meaningful and fulfilling, and you're missing their cues to guide them towards professions and jobs that might fulfill that.

My parents worked public service jobs that they found meaningful and fulfilling, and so do I. Work makes me money but it also helps me feel like my existence makes a difference (for the people I work with). It's certainly not entitlement, as I am working-class. But it works for me and many other people.

I love this response.

I could have done many things in my life after attending a great college and getting two useful degrees. I went into teaching instead of following the path of my masters, which would have led to more money. I wanted a meaningful and fulfilling job. It doesn’t pay tons, but it pays enough that I can live comfortably.

I’m not sure you should be mentoring, OP. There are tons of meaningful jobs, and there is nothing wrong with living a modest, yet comfortable, life. I find value in my work, not in what type of travel I can afford. There are many like me.

Me too.

My H is a cop and did child abuser investigations. Very hard work but fulfilling.

I worked doing computer support for doctors.

Thank you to your H for doing that important (and likely heartbreaking) work.

I guess that’s why I don’t get the point of threads like this. There is truly valuable work that needs to be done in schools, in the community, etc. What is so wrong about raising kids who want to make the world a better place? Why would anyone dissuade a student from selecting a meaningful, contributing job? (Looking at you now, OP.)

My college-bound kid is looking to nursing or teaching. I’m proud of her, as I am all students who select fields that give back.

[Anonymous]

Part of the why is that we have choices, so we want to make choices that align with our values whether that's money or joy. A PP mentioned being part of a blue-collar union. If you grew up knowing you'd be a farmer like your dad, or go work at the GM car factory in Detroit like all your uncles, you weren't thinking about fulfillment. You knew it was the path you were destined for and focused on financial stability. Not wealth, just stable middle class life.

Knowing I don't have to follow in my parents' footsteps I have the ability to make life choices. Our young people are being guided in schools that academics is important because it opens doors and unlocks roads to fulfillment. If that isn't coupled with hard conversations about being self-supporting, being able to save for retirement, raise children and so on then it's easy to get lost in the airy-fairy part of joy and making an impact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Part of the why is that we have choices, so we want to make choices that align with our values whether that's money or joy. A PP mentioned being part of a blue-collar union. If you grew up knowing you'd be a farmer like your dad, or go work at the GM car factory in Detroit like all your uncles, you weren't thinking about fulfillment. You knew it was the path you were destined for and focused on financial stability. Not wealth, just stable middle class life.

Knowing I don't have to follow in my parents' footsteps I have the ability to make life choices. Our young people are being guided in schools that academics is important because it opens doors and unlocks roads to fulfillment. If that isn't coupled with hard conversations about being self-supporting, being able to save for retirement, raise children and so on then it's easy to get lost in the airy-fairy part of joy and making an impact.

You do realize it’s possible to have both an “airy-fairy” career that makes an impact AND the ability to live comfortably? I have one of those jobs, and I’m still able to save for my kids’ college and my own retirement. I may have to sit in coach when I travel, but that isn’t a problem to me since that seat ends up at the same destination as the first class seat.

It’s extremely shortsighted to think people in lower paying professions can’t have things like financial security. I’m living proof we can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don’t understand why this generation expects work to be meaningful or fulfilling. Work is a way to make money for all but the wealthy. So why the navel-gazing and entitlement?

Perhaps mentoring is not for you. These students are making it clear that they think work can be meaningful and fulfilling, and you're missing their cues to guide them towards professions and jobs that might fulfill that.

My parents worked public service jobs that they found meaningful and fulfilling, and so do I. Work makes me money but it also helps me feel like my existence makes a difference (for the people I work with). It's certainly not entitlement, as I am working-class. But it works for me and many other people.

I love this response.

I could have done many things in my life after attending a great college and getting two useful degrees. I went into teaching instead of following the path of my masters, which would have led to more money. I wanted a meaningful and fulfilling job. It doesn’t pay tons, but it pays enough that I can live comfortably.

I’m not sure you should be mentoring, OP. There are tons of meaningful jobs, and there is nothing wrong with living a modest, yet comfortable, life. I find value in my work, not in what type of travel I can afford. There are many like me.

Me too.

My H is a cop and did child abuser investigations. Very hard work but fulfilling.

I worked doing computer support for doctors.

Thank you to your H for doing that important (and likely heartbreaking) work.

I guess that’s why I don’t get the point of threads like this. There is truly valuable work that needs to be done in schools, in the community, etc. What is so wrong about raising kids who want to make the world a better place? Why would anyone dissuade a student from selecting a meaningful, contributing job? (Looking at you now, OP.)

My college-bound kid is looking to nursing or teaching. I’m proud of her, as I am all students who select fields that give back.

The point of this thread is to illiterate everything that is wrong with an Ivy mentor and their ilk.

It’s what’s wrong with how kids are raised to think Ivy-> Wall Street (or dr/lawyer) or you are a failure.

It shows how thinking you must make a HHI of $400K is all wrong and actually terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Part of the why is that we have choices, so we want to make choices that align with our values whether that's money or joy. A PP mentioned being part of a blue-collar union. If you grew up knowing you'd be a farmer like your dad, or go work at the GM car factory in Detroit like all your uncles, you weren't thinking about fulfillment. You knew it was the path you were destined for and focused on financial stability. Not wealth, just stable middle class life.

Knowing I don't have to follow in my parents' footsteps I have the ability to make life choices. Our young people are being guided in schools that academics is important because it opens doors and unlocks roads to fulfillment. If that isn't coupled with hard conversations about being self-supporting, being able to save for retirement, raise children and so on then it's easy to get lost in the airy-fairy part of joy and making an impact.

You do realize it’s possible to have both an “airy-fairy” career that makes an impact AND the ability to live comfortably? I have one of those jobs, and I’m still able to save for my kids’ college and my own retirement. I may have to sit in coach when I travel, but that isn’t a problem to me since that seat ends up at the same destination as the first class seat.

It’s extremely shortsighted to think people in lower paying professions can’t have things like financial security. I’m living proof we can.

Seriously a cop and govt worker here. We do all those things too. We also have advanced educations. The myopic view of those making higher incomes is bizarre.