Nephew thinks our house is an Airbnb

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this cleaning bathroom after visiting family leaves. Can someone explain? We usually clean bathrooms on regular schedule and I can see maybe straightening a little bit before a guest arrives but why do you need to clean right after they leave? We just go ahead and use sink/tub/toilet as usual.

Cleaning up after someone you love or someone who is disable is different vs someone who is capable and you don't have any emotional attachment to.

Guests is some one who is invited and visit to stay once a year or other year. Someone who comes every month to stay without invitations is imposing, no matter whose nephew it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will you really be happier when no one comes to visit you anymore? Because once you make them feel awkward, they won't come just once or twice a year. They'll know they're not welcome and won't come at all. Is that really what you want? Lots of mean spirited shrews on this thread, but personally I'd rather mop the floor several times a year for relatives who visit me than just be me and my DH, getting older alone, like Ma and Pa Kettle. That's just me.

He isn't the only relative and its not once a year but once a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this cleaning bathroom after visiting family leaves. Can someone explain? We usually clean bathrooms on regular schedule and I can see maybe straightening a little bit before a guest arrives but why do you need to clean right after they leave? We just go ahead and use sink/tub/toilet as usual.

Cleaning up after someone you love or someone who is disable is different vs someone who is capable and you don't have any emotional attachment to.

Guests is some one who is invited and visit to stay once a year or other year. Someone who comes every month to stay without invitations is imposing, no matter whose nephew it is.

Maybe he thinks he has a wonderful, deep relationship with his favorite uncle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think i feels worst when i clean bathroom after they leave, they aren't slobs but still its not something we like to do. Husband is too kind to all and scared of backlash from his sister.

FFS THEN WHY DON'T YOU MAKE YOUR HUSBAND CLEAN THE BATHROOM AT THE VERY LEAST? MAKE HIM AFRAID OF *YOU,* NOT HIS SISTER.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think he wants to take advantage of us but it saves him money to have a free place here to live and eat.

OK, so he's young and a little thoughtless because he has not yet had the experience of having to host repeated guests. There is no reason to think he will react badly to gently being told the truth. "Larlo, we've enjoyed seeing you but honestly we're getting older and hosting all these visits is a bit much. The extra driving, cooking, and cleaning is starting to take a toll on me. We'd love to keep hosting you, but need to start limiting it to a couple times of year. November and May are the best months for us."

If he is a decent person he will agree. If he is immature or selfish, he will argue, so you need to be prepared to stick to your guns. I mean, he is a grown up. He can pay for a hotel and restaurants.

Not an unemployed student but 30 year old, gainfully employed, married.

[Anonymous]

Husband is too polite to say anything and I don't want the wrath of inlaws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse's nephew lives few hours away, he visits our town almost every month for one reason or the other and stays for few days. I like him and his wife and wouldn't mind once or twice every year but i don't appreciate them treating our home as free Airbnb. We've to get room and bathroom ready, provide food and company and sometimes ride to and from airport AND clean again once the leave. What would be a polite way to make them realize they are unintentionally taking advantage of us.

I believe these are the key words here. You believe you have to entertain them like they aren't close family. Why not treat them like close family? Your "spouse's nephew" is also your nephew you know? Treat him like you would treat your "blood" nephew.

If my nephew visited a dozen times a year and stayed several days, i would discuss it with him. My husband can't. Its not that he isn't bothered by it. To be honest, i only hardly saw his nephew or his mom few times in my life before he moved to our state so I don't have any emotional attachment to them.

So in other words, I am right. you don't consider him your family. That is really bad.

She was not put on earth to save DH nephew money. Yes it is dh’s nephew. Freeloaders suck!

Yeah, I’m a NP and I tend to fall on the side of family being important, including extended family, but 12 times a year, each several days at a time, is totally excessive.

[Anonymous]

OP, you obviously don't like your nephew much. You have followed up multiple times filling us in on how much he actually sucks. He must be truly clueless to think he is welcome, and not to notice how much you dislike him. Poor guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are they coming to visit you? Or are they coming in mini-vacations? Start saying “this month isn’t good” and stretch out the time between visits. Leave clean sheets on the bed for them to make the bed. Don’t clean specially before they come. Have easy-grab food around and don’t spend a ton on food. Do they take you and your DH out to eat when they visit, or help in any way? And why in the world is anyone picking them up at the airport? Adults get a cab. Where do you live?

Not to visit us. Sometimes to shop, to visit local friends, to use our airport to fly to other places etc because our town is main city of the state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think he wants to take advantage of us but it saves him money to have a free place here to live and eat.

OK, so he's young and a little thoughtless because he has not yet had the experience of having to host repeated guests. There is no reason to think he will react badly to gently being told the truth. "Larlo, we've enjoyed seeing you but honestly we're getting older and hosting all these visits is a bit much. The extra driving, cooking, and cleaning is starting to take a toll on me. We'd love to keep hosting you, but need to start limiting it to a couple times of year. November and May are the best months for us."

If he is a decent person he will agree. If he is immature or selfish, he will argue, so you need to be prepared to stick to your guns. I mean, he is a grown up. He can pay for a hotel and restaurants.

Not an unemployed student but 30 year old, gainfully employed, married.

Right. As I said, he's young and a little thoughtless because he has not yet been in OP's position, but he is also a grown up who can pay for a hotel and restaurants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you obviously don't like your nephew much. You have followed up multiple times filling us in on how much he actually sucks. He must be truly clueless to think he is welcome, and not to notice how much you dislike him. Poor guy.

Who visits anyone this often and spends zero while costing them money and work and loss of privacy? This is a common sense issue. People get upset if their mother in law visits once a month, this is is just one of the two dozen nieces and nephews.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband is too polite to say anything and I don't want the wrath of inlaws.

Then he will keep coming, OP. There is literally nothing we can do if neither you nor your husband will speak to him.

[Anonymous]

I guess frequents reciprocal visits to stay at their home would solve this issue.

[Anonymous]

Thanksgiving, Christmas and New year weeks at their home.

[Anonymous]

"No, we're not available that weekend"

Practice.