Nephew thinks our house is an Airbnb

[Anonymous]

My spouse's nephew lives few hours away, he visits our town almost every month for one reason or the other and stays for few days. I like him and his wife and wouldn't mind once or twice every year but i don't appreciate them treating our home as free Airbnb. We've to get room and bathroom ready, provide food and company and sometimes ride to and from airport AND clean again once the leave. What would be a polite way to make them realize they are unintentionally taking advantage of us.

[Anonymous]

You're family. Be glad they are staying with you. Jeez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're family. Be glad they are staying with you. Jeez.

Family takes advantage of family? I'm tired of cooking and cleaning.

[Anonymous]

We are getting old and have ailments and this is extra labor.

[Anonymous]

It also becoming a regular monthly expense.

[Anonymous]

If they are going to act like really close family, I would start treating them as such and asking them to help out more. They want to come visit for a weekend, tell them you had a very busy week and haven’t been able to stock up on groceries - send them to the grocery store with instructions to pick up whatever they plan to eat. Ask them to please wash the sheets and put them back on the bed before they leave so the guest room will be ready for the next visitors.

Or just say no to individual requests until you feel up to accommodating them again?

[Anonymous]

I think you could also use this to your advantage. You’re getting older and it’s harder to take the leaves or do some home repair project. They can come visit but while they are there you want them to help with XYZ.

[Anonymous]

I can ask to leave towels and sheets in washer but can't ask to to clean bathroom or mop the room etc which bothers me the most, neither can i ask to cover extra expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you could also use this to your advantage. You’re getting older and it’s harder to take the leaves or do some home repair project. They can come visit but while they are there you want them to help with XYZ.

This is a really good idea. It would be bonding for you all. Maybe you'll end up with a really special relationship with this nephew and his family.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, we’re busy and these weekends don’t work for us. Why is that so hard? They’re married adults. They can get a hotel. Let them propose meeting for dinner and then let them pay. Your husband needs to step up.

[Anonymous]

Do people still drive people back and forth to the airport? Have the nephew and his wife take an Uber or cab. Guests should take their hosts out for dinner at least once during the stay, too. Is the nephew doing this? It almost sounds like you're hosting children instead of adult guests. And since they're family, stop bending over backwards for them. They can be more self sufficient when they stay with you.

[Anonymous]

I can appreciate that this would be annoying and too much.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for some good tips and empathy.

[Anonymous]

OP, no is a complete sentence. Set boundaries!

[Anonymous]

What does your husband say about it?