Nephew thinks our house is an Airbnb

[Anonymous]

I think you're within your rights to tell him you can't host as much/at all anymore, but there's definitely some martyrdom on your part. You claim the cleaning is the worst part, but you refuse to ask the nephew or your husband to do it instead because you think you're the only one who can do it right. You continue to offer rides and meals even though it would be incredibly easy to just not do that. You don't want to have a conversation with your spouse about the situation.

[Anonymous]

Will you really be happier when no one comes to visit you anymore? Because once you make them feel awkward, they won't come just once or twice a year. They'll know they're not welcome and won't come at all. Is that really what you want? Lots of mean spirited shrews on this thread, but personally I'd rather mop the floor several times a year for relatives who visit me than just be me and my DH, getting older alone, like Ma and Pa Kettle. That's just me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your nephew is not demanding 5-star treatment then how is it a problem to host him? He should be treated like a member of the family.

Make your normal food, do normal amount of cleaning, show him around the kitchen so he can help himself, ask him to take a uber to your place.

I think the problem is you, OP.

why are you gaslighting her and trying to make her feel bad? what is your agenda?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your nephew is not demanding 5-star treatment then how is it a problem to host him? He should be treated like a member of the family.

Make your normal food, do normal amount of cleaning, show him around the kitchen so he can help himself, ask him to take a uber to your place.

I think the problem is you, OP.

why are you gaslighting her and trying to make her feel bad? what is your agenda?

My agenda is to push OP into getting a boob job and having a threesome. What do you think my agenda is, you imbecile?

[Anonymous]

OP should be thankful that because of the frequent visits of her nephew she has to maintain some kind of cleanliness in her home. Otherwise, it is quite likely OP and her DH will start living like wolves. OOOOooooooooooowwwwwww

[Anonymous]

Next time just say you haven’t been feeling well so, while he’s welcome to stay, you can’t be the hostess you have been. No pick up, sheets there for him to make up his own bed, no meals or something super simple like soup and sandwich. Then ask him to tidy the bathroom before he leaves. It sets the tone for future visits. People aren’t mind readers so there’s no way for him to know he’s imposing unless you find a way to gently tell him.

And how often do you have guests? If it’s regularly then you can certainly decline a few of his visits now and then so that he sees your hospitality is not a given all the time.

[Anonymous]

Are they coming to visit you? Or are they coming in mini-vacations? Start saying “this month isn’t good” and stretch out the time between visits. Leave clean sheets on the bed for them to make the bed. Don’t clean specially before they come. Have easy-grab food around and don’t spend a ton on food. Do they take you and your DH out to eat when they visit, or help in any way? And why in the world is anyone picking them up at the airport? Adults get a cab. Where do you live?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Husband would clean himself but cleaning is not his strong point. I'll have to clean afterwards as we use that hall bath too and when kids come they use it.

Husband takes on all responsibility. Prepares the room, buys groceries, picks them up/drops them off, cleans up afterwards.

If he does a bad job cleaning, march him back into the bathroom, point out what he missed, make him do it again.

You do absolutely nothing. NOTHING. I have never helped my H prepare our home for when his family visits.

NP and I was coming to say the bolded. Your husband can do everything. It's his family, not yours. If they arrive and ask why the bed isn't made, tell them husband didn't get around to it yet. What's for breakfast? Ask husband. How do we get to the airport? Ask husband.

[Anonymous]

Yuck! I cannot believe the low class and low bred advice on this board. No wonder y'all are so lonely and hated. Nasty, nasty culture.

You should be ashamed. What a bunch of beetches.

[Anonymous]

OP should divorce her DH.

[Anonymous]

Why not say you are busy when they ask? Entertaining someone else, etc?

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand this cleaning bathroom after visiting family leaves. Can someone explain? We usually clean bathrooms on regular schedule and I can see maybe straightening a little bit before a guest arrives but why do you need to clean right after they leave? We just go ahead and use sink/tub/toilet as usual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this cleaning bathroom after visiting family leaves. Can someone explain? We usually clean bathrooms on regular schedule and I can see maybe straightening a little bit before a guest arrives but why do you need to clean right after they leave? We just go ahead and use sink/tub/toilet as usual.

I suspect that OP usually keeps a dirty house. She is forced to clean up because nephew comes and lives with them. There are a lot of dirty people and hosting or entertaining is very stressful for them.

There is no reason to clean the guest bathroom when the guests leave. Clean on the regular schedule. Ditto for the sheets etc. It is really not a hardship. I cannot fathom that family becomes a burden on these people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this cleaning bathroom after visiting family leaves. Can someone explain? We usually clean bathrooms on regular schedule and I can see maybe straightening a little bit before a guest arrives but why do you need to clean right after they leave? We just go ahead and use sink/tub/toilet as usual.

I suspect that OP usually keeps a dirty house. She is forced to clean up because nephew comes and lives with them. There are a lot of dirty people and hosting or entertaining is very stressful for them.

There is no reason to clean the guest bathroom when the guests leave. Clean on the regular schedule. Ditto for the sheets etc. It is really not a hardship. I cannot fathom that family becomes a burden on these people.

Messy people don’t clean when guests leave, they panic clean before they arrive. (It’s me, I’m messy people.)

I think OP sounds neurotic and like she has to sterilize where guests have been.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand this cleaning bathroom after visiting family leaves. Can someone explain? We usually clean bathrooms on regular schedule and I can see maybe straightening a little bit before a guest arrives but why do you need to clean right after they leave? We just go ahead and use sink/tub/toilet as usual.

Cleaning up after someone you love or someone who is disable is different vs someone who is capable and you don't have any emotional attachment to.