Is this too awkward — vacationing with my BIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

My SIL is fine with it. In Laws are fine. His other sister will be jealous that my kids got a free vacation but hers didn’t.

BIL hasn’t invited the kids without me.

Still thinking about it.

As noted up thread. You've already slept with him. Are you familiar with the old adage
" Never buy your meat and potatoes at the same store!". You are a fool to even consider this offer.

Are you sure that’s an old adage? Of course most people buy their meat and potatoes at the same store, so I don’t think it has quite the kick that is intended. Don’t sh*t where you sleep makes a lot more sense.

Are you really so stupid that you think I am talking about food?! This old saying means that you sleep with your boss.

[Anonymous]

Send the teen boys without you. They know their uncle and cousins and they will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Your ILs have extended a kind and generous offer to you and your boys. There is no reason not to accept it, OP. None.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP has young teen children and is losing her husband. She will strongly driven to attempt mate poaching in this scenario. It is easy to justify. Bils kids are adults so divorce won't impact them as strongly. When the inevitable happens op will claim it.just happened and they were like twin flames. She never saw.it coming. It's not her fault. Besides she deserves to be happy. All the usual excuses.

The fact that your mind goes these is twisted. But this dark fantasy has no relationship to my situation.

—OP

[Anonymous]

I think it’s fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has young teen children and is losing her husband. She will strongly driven to attempt mate poaching in this scenario. It is easy to justify. Bils kids are adults so divorce won't impact them as strongly. When the inevitable happens op will claim it.just happened and they were like twin flames. She never saw.it coming. It's not her fault. Besides she deserves to be happy. All the usual excuses.

The fact that your mind goes these is twisted. But this dark fantasy has no relationship to my situation.

—OP

So, if that is the last thing on your mind, what is so awkward about the situation, and why did you even make a post? Go on your innocent family vacation and enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

My SIL is fine with it. In Laws are fine. His other sister will be jealous that my kids got a free vacation but hers didn’t.

BIL hasn’t invited the kids without me.

Still thinking about it.

As noted up thread. You've already slept with him. Are you familiar with the old adage
" Never buy your meat and potatoes at the same store!". You are a fool to even consider this offer.

Are you sure that’s an old adage? Of course most people buy their meat and potatoes at the same store, so I don’t think it has quite the kick that is intended. Don’t sh*t where you sleep makes a lot more sense.

Are you really so stupid that you think I am talking about food?! This old saying means that you sleep with your boss.

I am not the stupid one. Of course I understand it’s an analogy. I am telling you that it’s a poor analogy and offered the better known analogy that makes a lot more sense.

And OP should do what she wants for the trip; there’s nothing wrong with her going so long as SIL is cool with it and it sounds like she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Send the kids and you stay home. There may be nothing between you and BIL but avoid creating a hint of impropriety.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has young teen children and is losing her husband. She will strongly driven to attempt mate poaching in this scenario. It is easy to justify. Bils kids are adults so divorce won't impact them as strongly. When the inevitable happens op will claim it.just happened and they were like twin flames. She never saw.it coming. It's not her fault. Besides she deserves to be happy. All the usual excuses.

The fact that your mind goes these is twisted. But this dark fantasy has no relationship to my situation.

—OP

So, if that is the last thing on your mind, what is so awkward about the situation, and why did you even make a post? Go on your innocent family vacation and enjoy.

Maybe because of what she said?…. her soon to be ex gets jealous and other family members weren’t invited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure , why not?

+1

[Anonymous]

As long as it's fine with the wife, I would hate to miss the opportunity for a vacation with my kids.

[Anonymous]

Has the jealous Dh already expressed being upset by the idea? Will the kids miss a planned visit with their dad? If not, love your life the way you see fit and hold your head up high. You’re not doing anything wrong. You do need to get out of the habit of getting full family feedback for everything. Your in-laws’ opinions shouldn’t matter (but glad you feel supported).

[Anonymous]

live your life *

[Anonymous]

I guess it depends on other factors too. OP says her h is mentally ill and very jealous,implying that the jealousy is irrational.

Is his jealousy totally irrational, OP? Have you ever cheated.on him or let's say been with another man before or after the separation? Ever gone out on any dates? If so jealousy might not be totally.out of line on his part they are.still married.after all.

The other thing that's a little odd is op hasn't said her husband has objected to this idea. So to some extent op is projecting. .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has young teen children and is losing her husband. She will strongly driven to attempt mate poaching in this scenario. It is easy to justify. Bils kids are adults so divorce won't impact them as strongly. When the inevitable happens op will claim it.just happened and they were like twin flames. She never saw.it coming. It's not her fault. Besides she deserves to be happy. All the usual excuses.

The fact that your mind goes these is twisted. But this dark fantasy has no relationship to my situation.

—OP

So, if that is the last thing on your mind, what is so awkward about the situation, and why did you even make a post? Go on your innocent family vacation and enjoy.

Maybe because of what she said?…. her soon to be ex gets jealous and other family members weren’t invited.

She didn't say he got jealous about this though. She also claims it is totally innocent and he is mentally ill. Why would you even consider a mentally ill person's paranoia about a.totally innocent trip, especially when the mentally ill.person hasn't actually.objected to it?

Obviously the idea is inappropriate aside from her husband's jealousy because both people are.without spouses under vacation circumstances, they know each other.well,.already have a.close.emotional connection, will be in close company, there.will.likely be alcohol available too...Exactly the kind of recipe where cheating is accident.wsiting.to.hapoen..All it takes is a.careless match to light that.flsme. op knows.darn well it is.inapproproiate.regardless of.her.hisnsmds.jealousy. the tip off is when she said.how.dare you think that.possible. If op didn't think people might think that.she.wouldnt.hsve posted.