Is this too awkward — vacationing with my BIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bad idea unless you like drama.

OP loves drama and keeps posting here.

[Anonymous]

Go and get some D. Report back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t your kids go with BIL and their cousins? You’d end up spending a lot of one on one time with BIL. Just no.

Probably because BIL does not want to be responsible is one for all the kids.

So he doesn’t want his own brother to go with him? That would make a lot more sense

Again not his brother. BIL is married to DH sister

As a father, I would not want to be responsible sole adult for a group of teens on a road trip for a variety of reasons. How old are OP kids again?

[Anonymous]

1) screw your stbx - why are you even calling him DH?!
2) BIL wants to screw you

Now that we got the facts straight, you can make your decision!

[Anonymous]

I would totally do this with my BILs - they're my brothers, as you said.

I don't see what the problem is at all, since you're about to get divorced and you don't care about your husband's opinion on this anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a separated, but not yet divorced, mother of teens. My husband has pretty significant mental illness and his contact with the kids is limited due to it.

Over the years, I’ve become close to DH’s family. His sister and her husband have been very generous with their time and resources during a very challenging time and my BIL in particular has spent a lot of time with my boys.

BIL is planning a vacation with his college aged kids. SIL has a demanding career and isn’t going. BIL has suggested that since there is room in his SUV and the house he rented we should just come along for an almost free vacation. The trip is to a place my kids would love, and they would love being with their cousins. I could not afford to them them alone.

I would love to go, and my kids would love it but it feels awkward. DH can be very jealous about me spending time with any adult males, and DH has other siblings who wouldn’t be invited either.

There is absolutely nothing romantic. It would be like traveling with a brother.

Sorry, but are you crazy or stupid? With your DH's mental illness, nothing good is going to happen to your family and the BIL if you do that.

[Anonymous]

I don't know OP I would consider it for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) screw your stbx - why are you even calling him DH?!
2) BIL wants to screw you

Now that we got the facts straight, you can make your decision!

D can stand for all sorts of things.

2 made me laugh. My SIL and BIL are very happily married. There is no way that's what's going on.

[Anonymous]

Don’t go. Or you will regret it.

It’s just a bad taste to begin with, however you also mentioned that your husband has mental health issues. Why on earth would you wanna create all kinds of drama for all of these people, and perhaps trigger your ex.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the BIL. I could vacation with my BIL alone and all of our kids and my husband and sister would be fine with it. There would truly never be anything romantic there. He’s come on extended family vacations with us and my parents without our spouses there. My sister and my husband have jobs where they couldn’t take off. No one would think anything of it.

If you are about to start the divorce process, I personally would not do anything to cause unnecessary drama with your soon to be ex. Skip the trip right now if it could make him upset.

[Anonymous]

OP this will not end well.

Send the kids if you feel comfortable.

You stay home.

[Anonymous]

Generally, if I got along well with them and it was a quick getaway, I'd be fine with this (not separated so I would check with DH though).

[Anonymous]

Give us the stats on the BIL so we can make an informed decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give us the stats on the BIL so we can make an informed decision.

Stats?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds way to likely to cause drama.

+1
WAY likely to cause drama.

His sister may be very understanding, but I guarantee that his other siblings will have raised eyebrows, as well as possibly your in-laws.
Their loyalty is to their brother... mental health challenges or not.

Don't you see how this will look?
You'll be on vacation, going to restaurants and activities essentialy as one big happy family -- with you & BIL in the mommy & daddy roles.

This is HIS family, not yours anymore... find someone from your side of the family to go on vacation with.