Verbally abusive mother at the park - what would you do?

[Anonymous]

https://evergreencaregiversupport.org/no-bed-no-blanket-social-workers-blow-whistle-on-washington-forcing-foster-youth-to-sleep-in-cars-offices-as-punishment/

This is the type of abuse YOU are encouraging and perpetuating, Pp @14:58.
Pure evil.

[Anonymous]

A child being placed in foster care or even a family being investigated would be 1000 times more damaging to a child than being yelled at by a frazzled mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those that would call the police/CPS, what would your end goal be? Would you want this child taken away from his mother and put in the foster care system?

I was a poster who said I would, if I saw a second instance, make a video and report to CPS. There is no chance of a child being removed from their parent *solely* based on a video of them swearing, but it might trigger a home check and so if the child was genuinely in danger, that child might be saved. I know it would be a huge hassle and stress on the parent, but weighed against the possibility of another child dying of abuse and neglect I would consider that a reasonable risk.

PP that asked here

I have been considering looking into being a foster parent and have been doing some research online, including reading various social media groups for foster parents. Something I've seen come up a lot is the horrible conditions that many of these foster children face. There are not enough foster homes/beds. Children are forced to sleep in offices, and in cars without proper bedding/blankets. These children are not in a better place than they were with their parents.

The horrific conditions in foster homes is a huge part of what lead to the shooting death of foster child Ma'Khia Bryant last year in Columbus Ohio.

Is that what you really want to happen to children? What a horrible life you must live--knowing you are evil and with no conscience.

+1 and then it always seems like the really bad child abuse cases fall through the cracks, like Gabriel Fernandez.

I get that this is disturbing if you’ve lived a fairly sheltered/privileged life, but CPS has way bigger fish to fry than a mom yelling and cursing at her uncooperative kid in their car seat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once told a woman that the things she was saying were inappropriate to say to a small child and she threatened to beat me and chased me in her car. I was on a bicycle with my kid. Never again. People are crazy! If she's actively beating the kid get her license plate number and quietly call the police for a welfare check otherwise MYOB.

Well you are an idiot

I'm not surprised. What did you expect PP? You actually escalated the situation by becoming confrontational and smug.

You take that as confrontational and smug. This is the training I've been given for corporate leadership when it comes to DEI. Call out bad behavior. Folks here seem to want to brush it under the carpet. Social pressure is not always a bad thing.

This was a joke, right? Sarcasm?

I agree. That post is pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never cussed at, threatened, hit or even yelled at my kids ever. I know many of you do and think nothing of it. I was the child who was treated that way by my mother. It was abuse. Try to think long term when interacting with your child. I have a very distant relationship with my mom and feel no guilt or regret. She was a terrible parent and, if you do these things to your kids, you are too.

Your kid(s) are brats because you never say no and give into their every whim. This is as bad as screaming.

NP. Huh??? it is totally possible to set firm boundaries/limits etc without yelling, threatening, cursing or hitting one's kid. Unlike the pp - I suspect at some point I may lose it and yell (kid is still very young) but if I do that will not be a good parenting moment - just a human moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a myth that “everybody” screams at their kid or curses. Every parent reaches a breaking point, sometimes. How you deal with that varies. I would not yell or curse, but I might burst into tears or grip an arm too hard (not like injury hard).

Basically though OP what you witnessed is sad and horrible but there’s nothing appropriate to do about it. It doesn’t rise to the level of reporting.

I would say gripping an arm too hard is worse than yelling or cursing!! Way worse in my book.

Lol, this. "I don't yell but I [i]do[i] physically hurt my child."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those that would call the police/CPS, what would your end goal be? Would you want this child taken away from his mother and put in the foster care system?[/quote

No. We want parents to recieve classes in how to treat and raise their children, and possibly anger management. Clearly there is a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This... isn't unusual. Unfortunate, sure. Not pleasant to witness. But not something that would leave me "shaken." You witnessed a bit more of the real world that you are used to.

You have a high tolerance for inappropriate behavior.

You don’t leave your UMC bubble much. This is a how many parents behave all the time

My umc mother treated me that way. I knew it was wrong then and, as a mother myself, I know it is wrong now. I have no tolerance for bad treatment of children. Just because people do it doesn't make it normal. I do live in a bubble because I want no part of that sh1t.

+1

I hope I never normalize emotional (or physical) abuse of children or anyone else. Rather live in a bubble than a world where this is normal parenting.

What planet are you moving to?

The one where what OP witnessed is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://evergreencaregiversupport.org/no-bed-no-blanket-social-workers-blow-whistle-on-washington-forcing-foster-youth-to-sleep-in-cars-offices-as-punishment/

This is the type of abuse YOU are encouraging and perpetuating, Pp @14:58.
Pure evil.

Evil? That's a leap. My end goal would be that the mom is supported in learning the appropriate treatment of her children, not to get the kids removed. I think you are strange for jumping to this conclusion. It says more about you than it does about me. Removal of children isn't the answer in most cases. Start with the assumption that she Ioves her children and needs some support. Perhaps she didn't have the right parent role models, help her with this.

And don't call well intentioned strangers 'evil' because of you're too stupid to see beyond your own experience and bias. That's just myopic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never cussed at, threatened, hit or even yelled at my kids ever. I know many of you do and think nothing of it. I was the child who was treated that way by my mother. It was abuse. Try to think long term when interacting with your child. I have a very distant relationship with my mom and feel no guilt or regret. She was a terrible parent and, if you do these things to your kids, you are too.

Your kid(s) are brats because you never say no and give into their every whim. This is as bad as screaming.

NP. Huh??? it is totally possible to set firm boundaries/limits etc without yelling, threatening, cursing or hitting one's kid. Unlike the pp - I suspect at some point I may lose it and yell (kid is still very young) but if I do that will not be a good parenting moment - just a human moment.

Well that's the point, isn't it. Instead of acting like this mom at the park is probably abusing her kids, why not just admit we've all had a bad parenting moment? It happens to the best of us. This one was witnessed by OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://evergreencaregiversupport.org/no-bed-no-blanket-social-workers-blow-whistle-on-washington-forcing-foster-youth-to-sleep-in-cars-offices-as-punishment/

This is the type of abuse YOU are encouraging and perpetuating, Pp @14:58.
Pure evil.

Evil? That's a leap. My end goal would be that the mom is supported in learning the appropriate treatment of her children, not to get the kids removed. I think you are strange for jumping to this conclusion. It says more about you than it does about me. Removal of children isn't the answer in most cases. Start with the assumption that she Ioves her children and needs some support. Perhaps she didn't have the right parent role models, help her with this.

And don't call well intentioned strangers 'evil' because of you're too stupid to see beyond your own experience and bias. That's just myopic.

Me again. Just wanted to add most public schools offer free parenting classes if these parents need them. They can also get some free through social services if they meet income requirements. It is also possible to get free anger management classes. Not all social services are bad. Sometimes if you take advantage of them they can be quite good. These would/should be CPS's first action of the child is not in immediate danger, which it doesn't seem like this kid was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Video. license plate, anonymous tip to cops.

This is what I would have done if possible. It’s excuses like so many here are saying ‘o she’s just a stressed mom, myob’ that leaves vulnerable children in horrible situations. If it truly was just a stressed out mom losing her cool, then hopefully the welfare check will remind her for next time and no harm done. But if one kid is saved from an abusive home because a stranger took notice didn’t just mind their own business, I think that’s a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://evergreencaregiversupport.org/no-bed-no-blanket-social-workers-blow-whistle-on-washington-forcing-foster-youth-to-sleep-in-cars-offices-as-punishment/

This is the type of abuse YOU are encouraging and perpetuating, Pp @14:58.
Pure evil.

14:58 here. My question for you is, what about the hundreds of children killed every year by their parents or their parents partners, for whom no one calls cps? Are those deaths fine because at least no one stressed out the parents more?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A child being placed in foster care or even a family being investigated would be 1000 times more damaging to a child than being yelled at by a frazzled mom.

But potentially save that child’s life. Or is death not considered damaging?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://evergreencaregiversupport.org/no-bed-no-blanket-social-workers-blow-whistle-on-washington-forcing-foster-youth-to-sleep-in-cars-offices-as-punishment/

This is the type of abuse YOU are encouraging and perpetuating, Pp @14:58.
Pure evil.

https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubpdfs/fatality.pdf

About 75% of fatalities from abuse and neglect are perpetrated by parents. A dramatically smaller number by childcare/foster care. So who is “evil” when a parent isn’t reported and goes on to kill their child— which happens to nearly 2,000 children per year, mostly under the age of three.