Verbally abusive mother at the park - what would you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in the changing room at Macys when a woman was yelling at her small child. It was awful and she clearly thought she was alone. I’m a nanny and just couldn’t believe what I said. I said in a quiet and calm voice from inside my locked change room: “When you speak to your child like that, you are changing who they are as a person”. The mom was quiet after that and I have no regrets.

That is the truth!

And some of these yelling, spanking, "frustrated" dcums should take that to heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do nothing. People have different situations in life and honestly it’s none of your business.

I once saw a mom acting similarly to her kid. When they stopped near where I was sitting I complimented the kid’s shoes. I complimented the mom on the kid. She sat next to me and started talking. She had just gotten out of the hospital and had no family support. She was doing her best but she was overwhelmed. The poor kid and poor mom. That’s where my mind goes.

I don’t see what being in the hospital has anything to do with telling your toddler you are “going to beat their stupid a**”

DP, but you don’t understand how being incredibly stressed can lead parents to lose their shit with their kids? Really?

There’s not much you can do in these cases, other than to offer some empathy as the PP did. It’s hard.

First PP here. Exactly. It’s about being a community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do nothing. People have different situations in life and honestly it’s none of your business.

I once saw a mom acting similarly to her kid. When they stopped near where I was sitting I complimented the kid’s shoes. I complimented the mom on the kid. She sat next to me and started talking. She had just gotten out of the hospital and had no family support. She was doing her best but she was overwhelmed. The poor kid and poor mom. That’s where my mind goes.

I don’t see what being in the hospital has anything to do with telling your toddler you are “going to beat their stupid a**”

DP, but you don’t understand how being incredibly stressed can lead parents to lose their shit with their kids? Really?

There’s not much you can do in these cases, other than to offer some empathy as the PP did. It’s hard.

First PP here. Exactly. It’s about being a community.

I can see how this is being a community for the mother. Not sure how this represents being a community for the child whose mother is threatening to beat him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do nothing. People have different situations in life and honestly it’s none of your business.

I once saw a mom acting similarly to her kid. When they stopped near where I was sitting I complimented the kid’s shoes. I complimented the mom on the kid. She sat next to me and started talking. She had just gotten out of the hospital and had no family support. She was doing her best but she was overwhelmed. The poor kid and poor mom. That’s where my mind goes.

I don’t see what being in the hospital has anything to do with telling your toddler you are “going to beat their stupid a**”

DP, but you don’t understand how being incredibly stressed can lead parents to lose their shit with their kids? Really?

There’s not much you can do in these cases, other than to offer some empathy as the PP did. It’s hard.

First PP here. Exactly. It’s about being a community.

This isn't something even stressed parents say. Dont blame stress. This is something parents would say if they are uneducated and/or raised by an abusive and uneducated parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do nothing. People have different situations in life and honestly it’s none of your business.

I once saw a mom acting similarly to her kid. When they stopped near where I was sitting I complimented the kid’s shoes. I complimented the mom on the kid. She sat next to me and started talking. She had just gotten out of the hospital and had no family support. She was doing her best but she was overwhelmed. The poor kid and poor mom. That’s where my mind goes.

I don’t see what being in the hospital has anything to do with telling your toddler you are “going to beat their stupid a**”

DP, but you don’t understand how being incredibly stressed can lead parents to lose their shit with their kids? Really?

There’s not much you can do in these cases, other than to offer some empathy as the PP did. It’s hard.

First PP here. Exactly. It’s about being a community.

I can see how this is being a community for the mother. Not sure how this represents being a community for the child whose mother is threatening to beat him.

The mother nurtures the child. Helping the mother helps the child. You really don't understand that basic relationship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do nothing. People have different situations in life and honestly it’s none of your business.

I once saw a mom acting similarly to her kid. When they stopped near where I was sitting I complimented the kid’s shoes. I complimented the mom on the kid. She sat next to me and started talking. She had just gotten out of the hospital and had no family support. She was doing her best but she was overwhelmed. The poor kid and poor mom. That’s where my mind goes.

I don’t see what being in the hospital has anything to do with telling your toddler you are “going to beat their stupid a**”

DP, but you don’t understand how being incredibly stressed can lead parents to lose their shit with their kids? Really?

There’s not much you can do in these cases, other than to offer some empathy as the PP did. It’s hard.

First PP here. Exactly. It’s about being a community.

I can see how this is being a community for the mother. Not sure how this represents being a community for the child whose mother is threatening to beat him.

The mother nurtures the child. Helping the mother helps the child. You really don't understand that basic relationship?

I don't understand why the abuse of a child is less important to you than coddling a psycho b#tch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do nothing. People have different situations in life and honestly it’s none of your business.

I once saw a mom acting similarly to her kid. When they stopped near where I was sitting I complimented the kid’s shoes. I complimented the mom on the kid. She sat next to me and started talking. She had just gotten out of the hospital and had no family support. She was doing her best but she was overwhelmed. The poor kid and poor mom. That’s where my mind goes.

I don’t see what being in the hospital has anything to do with telling your toddler you are “going to beat their stupid a**”

DP, but you don’t understand how being incredibly stressed can lead parents to lose their shit with their kids? Really?

There’s not much you can do in these cases, other than to offer some empathy as the PP did. It’s hard.

First PP here. Exactly. It’s about being a community.

I can see how this is being a community for the mother. Not sure how this represents being a community for the child whose mother is threatening to beat him.

The mother nurtures the child. Helping the mother helps the child. You really don't understand that basic relationship?

I don’t consider threatening a beating to be someone “nurturing” a child, personally. I think getting some real help/intervention for the mother would actually be more supportive of the child’s well being.

[Anonymous]

I’m surprised so many people are surprised. Do you all live under a rock? Never leave Bethesda? This is how a very large percentage of parents speak to their children on a regular basis

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised so many people are surprised. Do you all live under a rock? Never leave Bethesda? This is how a very large percentage of parents speak to their children on a regular basis

So sad 😞 and so true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do nothing. People have different situations in life and honestly it’s none of your business.

I once saw a mom acting similarly to her kid. When they stopped near where I was sitting I complimented the kid’s shoes. I complimented the mom on the kid. She sat next to me and started talking. She had just gotten out of the hospital and had no family support. She was doing her best but she was overwhelmed. The poor kid and poor mom. That’s where my mind goes.

I don’t see what being in the hospital has anything to do with telling your toddler you are “going to beat their stupid a**”

DP, but you don’t understand how being incredibly stressed can lead parents to lose their shit with their kids? Really?

There’s not much you can do in these cases, other than to offer some empathy as the PP did. It’s hard.

First PP here. Exactly. It’s about being a community.

I can see how this is being a community for the mother. Not sure how this represents being a community for the child whose mother is threatening to beat him.

It's only a village when they want free child care or housework

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised so many people are surprised. Do you all live under a rock? Never leave Bethesda? This is how a very large percentage of parents speak to their children on a regular basis

So sad 😞 and so true.

This is incredibly true. I used to be a camp counselor for a camp that served low income kids. Many had social workers, some were in foster care (one of my kids had been in over 10 foster homes by the age of 11), and many were raised by single moms or extended family members. One night I walked into a conversation my older campers were having about what items they’d been “whupped” with and were sharing stories. Switches and belts were most common but the girls also mentioned sticks, wooden paddles, wooden spoons, and the worst one was an electric cord with the plug on it. This was a group of 10 girls. I realized clearly that the difficulties I thought I had as a kid growing up were literally nothing compared to what these kids experienced.

From that experience I learned that the CPS and foster care systems are completely and utterly horrific. I left the camp having been brought to tears multiple times by stories these kids told me about their foster parents. One girl came to camp with lice—a horrific case—the foster parents ignored. Another only had ill fitting and out of style hand me down clothes because the foster mother used the money she received for being a foster mom for her foster daughter to buy new clothes for her biological daughter and gave the foster child all the bio child’s old clothes. (That little girl is now grown up, stayed in foster care, and has 3 kids by 3 different dads, and a long criminal Record for drug abuse, shoplifting, and drunk driving, among many other issues.). Another one of them, an 8 year old whose mom had abandoned her and her sister, asked me to adopt them multiple
Times. I was 22 and in college - in no way able to help her. She is now a single mom with a drug problem and has lost 2 of her 4 kids already.

Every parent has hard moments. All parents are doing their best with the resources they have. What OP witnessed was a mom who likely was at the end of
Her rope and needed support and a break. The kids were not in imminent danger. I understand some of you are perfect parents with perfect kids who never raise your voice or lose your patience with little perfect Larla or utter a curse word but most of us are human and screw up with our kids from time to time and that is NOT a reason to call CPS on some one. You call CPS for a child who is in danger, for abuse, neglect, etc. Not because you saw something you disliked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do nothing. People have different situations in life and honestly it’s none of your business.

I once saw a mom acting similarly to her kid. When they stopped near where I was sitting I complimented the kid’s shoes. I complimented the mom on the kid. She sat next to me and started talking. She had just gotten out of the hospital and had no family support. She was doing her best but she was overwhelmed. The poor kid and poor mom. That’s where my mind goes.

I don’t see what being in the hospital has anything to do with telling your toddler you are “going to beat their stupid a**”

DP, but you don’t understand how being incredibly stressed can lead parents to lose their shit with their kids? Really?

There’s not much you can do in these cases, other than to offer some empathy as the PP did. It’s hard.

First PP here. Exactly. It’s about being a community.

I can see how this is being a community for the mother. Not sure how this represents being a community for the child whose mother is threatening to beat him.

The mother nurtures the child. Helping the mother helps the child. You really don't understand that basic relationship?

I don’t consider threatening a beating to be someone “nurturing” a child, personally. I think getting some real help/intervention for the mother would actually be more supportive of the child’s well being.

That was the point. I see you are arguing for the sake of arguing. Bye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised so many people are surprised. Do you all live under a rock? Never leave Bethesda? This is how a very large percentage of parents speak to their children on a regular basis

So sad 😞 and so true.

This is incredibly true. I used to be a camp counselor for a camp that served low income kids. Many had social workers, some were in foster care (one of my kids had been in over 10 foster homes by the age of 11), and many were raised by single moms or extended family members. One night I walked into a conversation my older campers were having about what items they’d been “whupped” with and were sharing stories. Switches and belts were most common but the girls also mentioned sticks, wooden paddles, wooden spoons, and the worst one was an electric cord with the plug on it. This was a group of 10 girls. I realized clearly that the difficulties I thought I had as a kid growing up were literally nothing compared to what these kids experienced.

From that experience I learned that the CPS and foster care systems are completely and utterly horrific. I left the camp having been brought to tears multiple times by stories these kids told me about their foster parents. One girl came to camp with lice—a horrific case—the foster parents ignored. Another only had ill fitting and out of style hand me down clothes because the foster mother used the money she received for being a foster mom for her foster daughter to buy new clothes for her biological daughter and gave the foster child all the bio child’s old clothes. (That little girl is now grown up, stayed in foster care, and has 3 kids by 3 different dads, and a long criminal Record for drug abuse, shoplifting, and drunk driving, among many other issues.). Another one of them, an 8 year old whose mom had abandoned her and her sister, asked me to adopt them multiple
Times. I was 22 and in college - in no way able to help her. She is now a single mom with a drug problem and has lost 2 of her 4 kids already.

Every parent has hard moments. All parents are doing their best with the resources they have. What OP witnessed was a mom who likely was at the end of
Her rope and needed support and a break. The kids were not in imminent danger. I understand some of you are perfect parents with perfect kids who never raise your voice or lose your patience with little perfect Larla or utter a curse word but most of us are human and screw up with our kids from time to time and that is NOT a reason to call CPS on some one. You call CPS for a child who is in danger, for abuse, neglect, etc. Not because you saw something you disliked.

I could swap stories with those girls about what my mother beat me with. Most of the things you listed, actually. One time, she beat me with a log. That's right, a log. I don't yell at, cuss or beat my kids, I value them and make sure they know their thoughts, needs and feelings are important. I am not perfect by any stretch (I have had several rounds of therapy and cope with cPTSD) but I sure as sh1t DO NOT take my "bad day" out on my kids. I survived my childhood by fantasizing about the family I would have when I grew up. Everything, from the devoted, faithful, gentle, loving husband to the 2 boys (who are a handful) has come true. If anyone should have failed at being a decent parent, it's me. I have a zero tolerance for abuse of children, mine or yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear Karen,

You must not be from the DC area if you never heard moms telling their kids "you better ____, or I'm gonna beat your ass."

You sound like you are from east bumF-

Signed,

The *Real* DC Urban Moms.

Dear Racist €un+,

We are concerned about the welfare of the child and the future of society.

Signed,
A nice person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised so many people are surprised. Do you all live under a rock? Never leave Bethesda? This is how a very large percentage of parents speak to their children on a regular basis

So sad 😞 and so true.

This is incredibly true. I used to be a camp counselor for a camp that served low income kids. Many had social workers, some were in foster care (one of my kids had been in over 10 foster homes by the age of 11), and many were raised by single moms or extended family members. One night I walked into a conversation my older campers were having about what items they’d been “whupped” with and were sharing stories. Switches and belts were most common but the girls also mentioned sticks, wooden paddles, wooden spoons, and the worst one was an electric cord with the plug on it. This was a group of 10 girls. I realized clearly that the difficulties I thought I had as a kid growing up were literally nothing compared to what these kids experienced.

From that experience I learned that the CPS and foster care systems are completely and utterly horrific. I left the camp having been brought to tears multiple times by stories these kids told me about their foster parents. One girl came to camp with lice—a horrific case—the foster parents ignored. Another only had ill fitting and out of style hand me down clothes because the foster mother used the money she received for being a foster mom for her foster daughter to buy new clothes for her biological daughter and gave the foster child all the bio child’s old clothes. (That little girl is now grown up, stayed in foster care, and has 3 kids by 3 different dads, and a long criminal Record for drug abuse, shoplifting, and drunk driving, among many other issues.). Another one of them, an 8 year old whose mom had abandoned her and her sister, asked me to adopt them multiple
Times. I was 22 and in college - in no way able to help her. She is now a single mom with a drug problem and has lost 2 of her 4 kids already.

Every parent has hard moments. All parents are doing their best with the resources they have. What OP witnessed was a mom who likely was at the end of
Her rope and needed support and a break. The kids were not in imminent danger. I understand some of you are perfect parents with perfect kids who never raise your voice or lose your patience with little perfect Larla or utter a curse word but most of us are human and screw up with our kids from time to time and that is NOT a reason to call CPS on some one. You call CPS for a child who is in danger, for abuse, neglect, etc. Not because you saw something you disliked.

I could swap stories with those girls about what my mother beat me with. Most of the things you listed, actually. One time, she beat me with a log. That's right, a log. I don't yell at, cuss or beat my kids, I value them and make sure they know their thoughts, needs and feelings are important. I am not perfect by any stretch (I have had several rounds of therapy and cope with cPTSD) but I sure as sh1t DO NOT take my "bad day" out on my kids. I survived my childhood by fantasizing about the family I would have when I grew up. Everything, from the devoted, faithful, gentle, loving husband to the 2 boys (who are a handful) has come true. If anyone should have failed at being a decent parent, it's me. I have a zero tolerance for abuse of children, mine or yours.

Wow! I hope you do some community outreach. I can see how you might be very valuable and inspiring to these women. You can make a huge impact to your kids' generation, much more so than the UMC bubble women.