Discrepancy between you want vs what you can get

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please tell me where the 500k townhomes are in vienna

I'm sure OP is a 17 year old troll and thinks this is what houses cost. Much like when I was 17 and thought the worst thing that could ever happen to me was having to wear Ann Taylor Loft like my frumpy English teacher.

[Anonymous]

The other option is to find a partner who has similar goals as yours and work together to achieve them.

I was in a similar position to you. Married my husband at 36, he was 38. After paying for our wedding ourselves, we had $200 left in our bank account. We borrowed $25k for a down payment for a condo.

But we both worked hard, I had a FT job and a side hustle that turned into a full fledged start-up. We flipped that first condo and bought and sold 7 more homes in 15 years, making $$ on each. My husband did much of the repair work on the side.

Now we have a kid in private, beautiful home in NWDC, a really nice vacation home. We did it all as a team, equal partners.

I’m sorry someone fed you a fairytale about a princess waiting for Prince Charming. If you want more, be willing to work hard to create that life for yourself, and find a partner who shares the same values.

[Anonymous]

The other thing is, you are an incel troll from one of those boards where men think this is how women end up when they don’t marry the high school loser young. That they wind up in their forties and just won’t date them because they’re “not worthy”. I have never met a woman in her 40s in DC with a good job who has not had the opportunity to marry at least once— many just know it would be better to remain single and they will never be so desperate as to date you. So could you please stop starting these threads in an effort to get someone to say “gosh you should have given that creep from high school a chance!” Because No One Is Ever Going To.

[Anonymous]

I love how so many people pointed out what an obvious troll OP is and people wrote so many detailed, scolding messages anyway. There's a trace of misogyny in it, isn't there? Like it is just that pleasurable to scold a woman who Doesn't Know Her Place.

[Anonymous]

Meh. I did that in my 20s. It’s not hard, all you have to do is 1. Workout 2. Be fun 3. Go to where those men are.

Divorced then did it all over again in my mid-30s to see if I could. Yep, still worked. Any woman can be a hottie if she wants. You just have to decide if you’d rather have the man or dessert.

Eventually I realized it’s way more fun to have your own money. The power that comes with being the primary breadwinner is awesome. And now I get to eat whatever I want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

My husband makes $100k, my kids go to a sought-after private, we live in a sfh in Bethesda, I'm writing this from Europe. Not everything fits into the categories you've defined. There are many, many people with every variation of circumstance in this world.

[Anonymous]

OP reminds me of my ex-wife, except my ex was a little more driven and actually managed to reel me in. I don't think OP is a troll and I don't think she is totally crazy, but I do think that DC is a very strange place in terms of how people think about money. Many people who don't focus very much on earning a lot of money still THINK they should be able to live like a wealthy person, mostly because they were wealthy when they were children or they went to college or graduate school with people who are now wealthy. It's strange that this is so common.

Now that I am single, I am dating all kinds of women. A few seem to have more money than I have, but most have a lot less. I'm over 50 and they range in age from mid 30s to around 60. I've been surprised by how many women OP's age or just slightly older than OP want to date me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The other option is to find a partner who has similar goals as yours and work together to achieve them.

I was in a similar position to you. Married my husband at 36, he was 38. After paying for our wedding ourselves, we had $200 left in our bank account. We borrowed $25k for a down payment for a condo.

But we both worked hard, I had a FT job and a side hustle that turned into a full fledged start-up. We flipped that first condo and bought and sold 7 more homes in 15 years, making $$ on each. My husband did much of the repair work on the side.

Now we have a kid in private, beautiful home in NWDC, a really nice vacation home. We did it all as a team, equal partners.

I’m sorry someone fed you a fairytale about a princess waiting for Prince Charming. If you want more, be willing to work hard to create that life for yourself, and find a partner who shares the same values.

+1

All of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP reminds me of my ex-wife, except my ex was a little more driven and actually managed to reel me in. I don't think OP is a troll and I don't think she is totally crazy, but I do think that DC is a very strange place in terms of how people think about money. Many people who don't focus very much on earning a lot of money still THINK they should be able to live like a wealthy person, mostly because they were wealthy when they were children or they went to college or graduate school with people who are now wealthy. It's strange that this is so common.

Now that I am single, I am dating all kinds of women. A few seem to have more money than I have, but most have a lot less. I'm over 50 and they range in age from mid 30s to around 60. I've been surprised by how many women OP's age or just slightly older than OP want to date me.

+1

I also think it is difficult for people from this are to see how this are has changed over recent decades. Okay for them to have what they have, but not anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please tell me where the 500k townhomes are in vienna

+1

No kidding.

That, and Op would not know sacrifice if it hit her off the head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

If you want those things, then go earn them. Get busy. You’re already behind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

Male here. With a SHF in Chevy Chase. Private school for my kids. You sound dull and materialistic. What do you bring to the table?

x10000000

Woman here. Exactly my thought. NP. I see so many of these shallow women where I live, I would feel bad for them, if they weren't so ......pathetic.

OP, why would someone want to marry you just because you NEED to have an S class before a certain birthday - are those life goals? Listen to yourself. GEESUS, people, get a grip. I knew a group that would go to Dewey every summer, rent a group house, and all they would talk about is marrying a man like that. Marriage is a business transaction to them, like the oldest profession in the world. I read this all the time on these boards, and see it IRL, it makes women look bad.

Oh please. Every single one of these smug married women posting above about how their lives are just like this, wanted exactly these things and found it. OP and her friends are just saying the quiet part out loud. If you don't believe me try taking one of these snotty affluent married women and have them change places with OP (sounds like a great premise for a movie). You will immediately see them completely lose their sh*t.

They don’t need to “change places with OP,” because they didn’t waste their 20s and early mid 30s turning up their noses and now find themselves facing 40, single and with not much to offer, which OP did. Oops.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Some Men want women who are fun and in great shape. Some men don’t care about your degree.

Fixed that for you.

Nope. It was right the first time.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a doctor and so are a lot of my female friends. I have many gorgeous, intelligent, well-educated, high-earning friends with serious careers who were all looking to marry in their mid to late thirties. Just so you know these women were not average looking. They were brilliant, knockouts and all-around amazing people. Here is who they married:
1. divorced veterinarian with divorced parents and 6 year old son, joint custody in inland FL (not Miami/Palm Beach), where she had to move. He stays home with their twins and works part time while she makes like $400-500K.
2. DO (not MD) trauma surgeon and Trump / Republican voter with a VERY sedate personality, who helps not at all with their 3 kids, very irritating mother in law who lives minutes away
3. Plastic surgeon who serially cheated during the first 5-7 years of marriage while they were having multiple miscarriages trying for a second baby that they did not achieve; they moved to a medium town in a western state for his job thereby severely limiting her career
4. freelance screenwriter who is intermittently employed
5. real estate developer who cheated on her (she got paged in the OR WHILE OPERATING by the guy's AP's DH); she then hastily remarried someone else and they have several kids now.
6. Very good looking nice guy who has been long term unemployed and is a SAHD.

All of these women made it work and are still married with children.

You have to be realistic.

Realistic is an understatement.

You can disparage it all you want. They are UMC, married and have familles and gorgeous houses and are happy with their lives.

The only thing they have in common, is that although they are all affluent and successful now, none of them grew up very UMC. They all worked hard in public schools then private colleges (Princeton, Georgetown, Cornell, Swarthmore, etc) and were bred to be workhorses not show ponies. Guess who became successful as adults.

Your view of life in tremendously narrow and naive and bitter, and really - no wonder you will never be happy.

You seem not to like hearing the truth.

Your truth? No, I don't subscribe to it. I think many adults, and probably you, think there are only a handful of ways to be "successful" - and they all involve more money than most people you even know. So, settle down and stay in your lane.

I don't really know what you're hung bout here but it isn't the topic of this thread. The point is OP is aiming for a certain lifestyle without a) being able to attain similar benchmarks herself and b) not understanding the compromises people make when they marry, and how even those compromises can leave you better off than holding out for a ready-made impossible ideal. She is still in "Someday my prince will come" mode. It's much more common for women who were born well-off to expect others to fulfill that for them. Meanwhile thes women I described, all of whom had A LOT more to offer than OP, made it work with the tools at hand because they were industrious and unentitled.

It sounds like we may agree that OP is shallow and not marriage worthy, but your reaching for assumptions about me is very, very, very, very far off.

Uh, I made no assumptions about you. This post like this thread were not about you. I don't think about you. What a weird response.

You tend to over react. You said I was off topic. I was absolutely not.

Whatever you say. Please leave me alone.

Get help.

And still you desperately need the last word. Are you 12?

(not the PP)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

Male here. With a SHF in Chevy Chase. Private school for my kids. You sound dull and materialistic. What do you bring to the table?

x10000000

Woman here. Exactly my thought. NP. I see so many of these shallow women where I live, I would feel bad for them, if they weren't so ......pathetic.

OP, why would someone want to marry you just because you NEED to have an S class before a certain birthday - are those life goals? Listen to yourself. GEESUS, people, get a grip. I knew a group that would go to Dewey every summer, rent a group house, and all they would talk about is marrying a man like that. Marriage is a business transaction to them, like the oldest profession in the world. I read this all the time on these boards, and see it IRL, it makes women look bad.

Oh please. Every single one of these smug married women posting above about how their lives are just like this, wanted exactly these things and found it. OP and her friends are just saying the quiet part out loud. If you don't believe me try taking one of these snotty affluent married women and have them change places with OP (sounds like a great premise for a movie). You will immediately see them completely lose their sh*t.

They don’t need to “change places with OP,” because they didn’t waste their 20s and early mid 30s turning up their noses and now find themselves facing 40, single and with not much to offer, which OP did. Oops.

This. These women didn't just walk down the street and bump into these men. They were obviously desirable enough and focused enough to make it happen. OP wasn't. End of story.