The school has arranged for us to meet with the parents of the child who has been bullying our child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would probably go just because I’d be curious as to what they have to say, but that’s just me. I’d also keep my own mouth shut and not saying anything more than some sort of non-committal generalities.

I would be curious too.

When my children have been bullied in the past, I have really only had their word to go on, and I’ve wondered how they were contributing to the situation. Both times this happened, I met with the other parents, heard their perspective, and recognized that these were not reasonable people and my child was not at fault.
Once was a little boy who was threatening my son. Met his parents, and they were rude and threatening and had no insight into why their child was wrong.
The other was a little girl who was encouraging all of the irks in the class not to talk to my daughter. I thought that maybe my daughter had gotten into an argument with this girl and was exaggerating. During this meeting, the girls’ mom mentioned that she was prom queen and her husband was a prominent attorney, then told me that some people just know how to make friends (like her child) and some just don’t. Again, no insight that her child’s behavior was not okay.

Anyway, I found it very helpful to get a better understanding of the situation and to advocate for my child.

The fact is, victims of bullying often create their own bullying. A crude way to put it is to say a kid has a punchable face. More charitably, the kid just doesn’t fit in. A SN kid doesn’t know how to carry himself, or a “regular” kid is just weird. Kids have enough going on just with learning and hormones. They don’t need to worry they’re going to shatter some kids when they’re just experimenting.

So you should attend. Technically the other kids are “at fault”, but yours plays a role. Own it.

Are you a troll? Because that is some amazing victim-blaming. Also, it made no sense. The victim of bullying does not invite bullying by saying he himself has a punchable face, or just doesn't fit in.

DP: I'm a psychologist. Anyone can be bullied. Preventing bullying has a lot more to do with the school context (how adults monitor, how adults encourage students to act--including standing up for others, the consequences for bullying) than anything about your kid who is bullied. And actually a lot of what PP described as triggering bullying (for instance, being "weird" in some way) is far more likely to cause students to be excluded rather than bullied. People are more likely to bully someone they think could encroach on their place in a social hierarchy than someone they perceive to be fully an 'outsider' despite what decades of movie stereotypes show. Since bullying is by definition repeated aggression with intent to harm, the best way to stop it is to firmly address it the first time someone expresses aggression to them (-- the kid who experiences aggression stands firm and tells the kid to stop, ignores it and walks away, defuses the situation with humor or whatever makes sense with their specific individual situation). If it's a minor aggression, that may be enough. If it's more serious let teacher/other adult know and know how you want it handled---separation, consequence for bully, more monitoring depending on age/situation. If it ever happens more than once from the same person, even minor, let teacher/adult know and insist on letting them know how they will monitor it and what they will do if it happens again.

Sometimes people being bullied do bully others. If your kid complains of being the victim of aggression, ask your teacher if your kid has ever shown aggression to others. That's a different situation to handle.

As for OP, I'd want clarification on what this meeting is supposed to accomplish before agreeing to it.

You seem to have some reading comprehension issues, since nothing you said addresses the post you are responding to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would probably go just because I’d be curious as to what they have to say, but that’s just me. I’d also keep my own mouth shut and not saying anything more than some sort of non-committal generalities.

I would be curious too.

When my children have been bullied in the past, I have really only had their word to go on, and I’ve wondered how they were contributing to the situation. Both times this happened, I met with the other parents, heard their perspective, and recognized that these were not reasonable people and my child was not at fault.
Once was a little boy who was threatening my son. Met his parents, and they were rude and threatening and had no insight into why their child was wrong.
The other was a little girl who was encouraging all of the irks in the class not to talk to my daughter. I thought that maybe my daughter had gotten into an argument with this girl and was exaggerating. During this meeting, the girls’ mom mentioned that she was prom queen and her husband was a prominent attorney, then told me that some people just know how to make friends (like her child) and some just don’t. Again, no insight that her child’s behavior was not okay.

Anyway, I found it very helpful to get a better understanding of the situation and to advocate for my child.

The fact is, victims of bullying often create their own bullying. A crude way to put it is to say a kid has a punchable face. More charitably, the kid just doesn’t fit in. A SN kid doesn’t know how to carry himself, or a “regular” kid is just weird. Kids have enough going on just with learning and hormones. They don’t need to worry they’re going to shatter some kids when they’re just experimenting.

So you should attend. Technically the other kids are “at fault”, but yours plays a role. Own it.

Are you a troll? Because that is some amazing victim-blaming. Also, it made no sense. The victim of bullying does not invite bullying by saying he himself has a punchable face, or just doesn't fit in.

DP: I'm a psychologist. Anyone can be bullied. Preventing bullying has a lot more to do with the school context (how adults monitor, how adults encourage students to act--including standing up for others, the consequences for bullying) than anything about your kid who is bullied. And actually a lot of what PP described as triggering bullying (for instance, being "weird" in some way) is far more likely to cause students to be excluded rather than bullied. People are more likely to bully someone they think could encroach on their place in a social hierarchy than someone they perceive to be fully an 'outsider' despite what decades of movie stereotypes show. Since bullying is by definition repeated aggression with intent to harm, the best way to stop it is to firmly address it the first time someone expresses aggression to them (-- the kid who experiences aggression stands firm and tells the kid to stop, ignores it and walks away, defuses the situation with humor or whatever makes sense with their specific individual situation). If it's a minor aggression, that may be enough. If it's more serious let teacher/other adult know and know how you want it handled---separation, consequence for bully, more monitoring depending on age/situation. If it ever happens more than once from the same person, even minor, let teacher/adult know and insist on letting them know how they will monitor it and what they will do if it happens again.

Sometimes people being bullied do bully others. If your kid complains of being the victim of aggression, ask your teacher if your kid has ever shown aggression to others. That's a different situation to handle.

As for OP, I'd want clarification on what this meeting is supposed to accomplish before agreeing to it.

You seem to have some reading comprehension issues, since nothing you said addresses the post you are responding to.

Huh? It was a really insightful post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would probably go just because I’d be curious as to what they have to say, but that’s just me. I’d also keep my own mouth shut and not saying anything more than some sort of non-committal generalities.

I would be curious too.

When my children have been bullied in the past, I have really only had their word to go on, and I’ve wondered how they were contributing to the situation. Both times this happened, I met with the other parents, heard their perspective, and recognized that these were not reasonable people and my child was not at fault.
Once was a little boy who was threatening my son. Met his parents, and they were rude and threatening and had no insight into why their child was wrong.
The other was a little girl who was encouraging all of the irks in the class not to talk to my daughter. I thought that maybe my daughter had gotten into an argument with this girl and was exaggerating. During this meeting, the girls’ mom mentioned that she was prom queen and her husband was a prominent attorney, then told me that some people just know how to make friends (like her child) and some just don’t. Again, no insight that her child’s behavior was not okay.

Anyway, I found it very helpful to get a better understanding of the situation and to advocate for my child.

The fact is, victims of bullying often create their own bullying. A crude way to put it is to say a kid has a punchable face. More charitably, the kid just doesn’t fit in. A SN kid doesn’t know how to carry himself, or a “regular” kid is just weird. Kids have enough going on just with learning and hormones. They don’t need to worry they’re going to shatter some kids when they’re just experimenting.

So you should attend. Technically the other kids are “at fault”, but yours plays a role. Own it.

If you truly believe this, you are likely somewhere on the spectrum between narcissist and psychopath a la Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. Your child is not “experimenting” when they are hitting, threatening, or being deliberately cruel to other kids. And of course you should teach your child to worry about how their actions affect others. That is what it is to be a human being.
As we have seen with numerous public figures, without empathy and morality, a person may be successful, but they are not really fully human. If you cannot teach your child to care about hurting other people, then you are dooming them to exist, essentially, as monsters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would probably go just because I’d be curious as to what they have to say, but that’s just me. I’d also keep my own mouth shut and not saying anything more than some sort of non-committal generalities.

I would be curious too.

When my children have been bullied in the past, I have really only had their word to go on, and I’ve wondered how they were contributing to the situation. Both times this happened, I met with the other parents, heard their perspective, and recognized that these were not reasonable people and my child was not at fault.
Once was a little boy who was threatening my son. Met his parents, and they were rude and threatening and had no insight into why their child was wrong.
The other was a little girl who was encouraging all of the irks in the class not to talk to my daughter. I thought that maybe my daughter had gotten into an argument with this girl and was exaggerating. During this meeting, the girls’ mom mentioned that she was prom queen and her husband was a prominent attorney, then told me that some people just know how to make friends (like her child) and some just don’t. Again, no insight that her child’s behavior was not okay.

Anyway, I found it very helpful to get a better understanding of the situation and to advocate for my child.

The fact is, victims of bullying often create their own bullying. A crude way to put it is to say a kid has a punchable face. More charitably, the kid just doesn’t fit in. A SN kid doesn’t know how to carry himself, or a “regular” kid is just weird. Kids have enough going on just with learning and hormones. They don’t need to worry they’re going to shatter some kids when they’re just experimenting.

So you should attend. Technically the other kids are “at fault”, but yours plays a role. Own it.

If you truly believe this, you are likely somewhere on the spectrum between narcissist and psychopath a la Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. Your child is not “experimenting” when they are hitting, threatening, or being deliberately cruel to other kids. And of course you should teach your child to worry about how their actions affect others. That is what it is to be a human being.
As we have seen with numerous public figures, without empathy and morality, a person may be successful, but they are not really fully human. If you cannot teach your child to care about hurting other people, then you are dooming them to exist, essentially, as monsters.

For these kind of trolls that is a high compliment. You just made their day. Don't feed the trolls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would probably go just because I’d be curious as to what they have to say, but that’s just me. I’d also keep my own mouth shut and not saying anything more than some sort of non-committal generalities.

I would be curious too.

When my children have been bullied in the past, I have really only had their word to go on, and I’ve wondered how they were contributing to the situation. Both times this happened, I met with the other parents, heard their perspective, and recognized that these were not reasonable people and my child was not at fault.
Once was a little boy who was threatening my son. Met his parents, and they were rude and threatening and had no insight into why their child was wrong.
The other was a little girl who was encouraging all of the irks in the class not to talk to my daughter. I thought that maybe my daughter had gotten into an argument with this girl and was exaggerating. During this meeting, the girls’ mom mentioned that she was prom queen and her husband was a prominent attorney, then told me that some people just know how to make friends (like her child) and some just don’t. Again, no insight that her child’s behavior was not okay.

Anyway, I found it very helpful to get a better understanding of the situation and to advocate for my child.

The fact is, victims of bullying often create their own bullying. A crude way to put it is to say a kid has a punchable face. More charitably, the kid just doesn’t fit in. A SN kid doesn’t know how to carry himself, or a “regular” kid is just weird. Kids have enough going on just with learning and hormones. They don’t need to worry they’re going to shatter some kids when they’re just experimenting.

So you should attend. Technically the other kids are “at fault”, but yours plays a role. Own it.

Are you a troll? Because that is some amazing victim-blaming. Also, it made no sense. The victim of bullying does not invite bullying by saying he himself has a punchable face, or just doesn't fit in.

DP: I'm a psychologist. Anyone can be bullied. Preventing bullying has a lot more to do with the school context (how adults monitor, how adults encourage students to act--including standing up for others, the consequences for bullying) than anything about your kid who is bullied. And actually a lot of what PP described as triggering bullying (for instance, being "weird" in some way) is far more likely to cause students to be excluded rather than bullied. People are more likely to bully someone they think could encroach on their place in a social hierarchy than someone they perceive to be fully an 'outsider' despite what decades of movie stereotypes show. Since bullying is by definition repeated aggression with intent to harm, the best way to stop it is to firmly address it the first time someone expresses aggression to them (-- the kid who experiences aggression stands firm and tells the kid to stop, ignores it and walks away, defuses the situation with humor or whatever makes sense with their specific individual situation). If it's a minor aggression, that may be enough. If it's more serious let teacher/other adult know and know how you want it handled---separation, consequence for bully, more monitoring depending on age/situation. If it ever happens more than once from the same person, even minor, let teacher/adult know and insist on letting them know how they will monitor it and what they will do if it happens again.

Sometimes people being bullied do bully others. If your kid complains of being the victim of aggression, ask your teacher if your kid has ever shown aggression to others. That's a different situation to handle.

As for OP, I'd want clarification on what this meeting is supposed to accomplish before agreeing to it.

You seem to have some reading comprehension issues, since nothing you said addresses the post you are responding to.

Huh? It was a really insightful post.

The "psychologist" was responding to someone who had a problem with someone ELSE who said that people who are bullied have brought the bullying upon themselves.

Does the "psychologist" believe that? Do they address the belief that bullied people are asking for it? Maybe the "psychologist" IS saying that ("ask your teacher if your kid has shown aggression to others"). At any rate, it isn't clear what's the connection between what the "psychologist" said and the post immediately before it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would probably go just because I’d be curious as to what they have to say, but that’s just me. I’d also keep my own mouth shut and not saying anything more than some sort of non-committal generalities.

I would be curious too.

When my children have been bullied in the past, I have really only had their word to go on, and I’ve wondered how they were contributing to the situation. Both times this happened, I met with the other parents, heard their perspective, and recognized that these were not reasonable people and my child was not at fault.
Once was a little boy who was threatening my son. Met his parents, and they were rude and threatening and had no insight into why their child was wrong.
The other was a little girl who was encouraging all of the irks in the class not to talk to my daughter. I thought that maybe my daughter had gotten into an argument with this girl and was exaggerating. During this meeting, the girls’ mom mentioned that she was prom queen and her husband was a prominent attorney, then told me that some people just know how to make friends (like her child) and some just don’t. Again, no insight that her child’s behavior was not okay.

Anyway, I found it very helpful to get a better understanding of the situation and to advocate for my child.

The fact is, victims of bullying often create their own bullying. A crude way to put it is to say a kid has a punchable face. More charitably, the kid just doesn’t fit in. A SN kid doesn’t know how to carry himself, or a “regular” kid is just weird. Kids have enough going on just with learning and hormones. They don’t need to worry they’re going to shatter some kids when they’re just experimenting.

So you should attend. Technically the other kids are “at fault”, but yours plays a role. Own it.

Are you a troll? Because that is some amazing victim-blaming. Also, it made no sense. The victim of bullying does not invite bullying by saying he himself has a punchable face, or just doesn't fit in.

DP: I'm a psychologist. Anyone can be bullied. Preventing bullying has a lot more to do with the school context (how adults monitor, how adults encourage students to act--including standing up for others, the consequences for bullying) than anything about your kid who is bullied. And actually a lot of what PP described as triggering bullying (for instance, being "weird" in some way) is far more likely to cause students to be excluded rather than bullied. People are more likely to bully someone they think could encroach on their place in a social hierarchy than someone they perceive to be fully an 'outsider' despite what decades of movie stereotypes show. Since bullying is by definition repeated aggression with intent to harm, the best way to stop it is to firmly address it the first time someone expresses aggression to them (-- the kid who experiences aggression stands firm and tells the kid to stop, ignores it and walks away, defuses the situation with humor or whatever makes sense with their specific individual situation). If it's a minor aggression, that may be enough. If it's more serious let teacher/other adult know and know how you want it handled---separation, consequence for bully, more monitoring depending on age/situation. If it ever happens more than once from the same person, even minor, let teacher/adult know and insist on letting them know how they will monitor it and what they will do if it happens again.

Sometimes people being bullied do bully others. If your kid complains of being the victim of aggression, ask your teacher if your kid has ever shown aggression to others. That's a different situation to handle.

As for OP, I'd want clarification on what this meeting is supposed to accomplish before agreeing to it.

You seem to have some reading comprehension issues, since nothing you said addresses the post you are responding to.

Huh? It was a really insightful post.

The "psychologist" was responding to someone who had a problem with someone ELSE who said that people who are bullied have brought the bullying upon themselves.

Does the "psychologist" believe that? Do they address the belief that bullied people are asking for it? Maybe the "psychologist" IS saying that ("ask your teacher if your kid has shown aggression to others"). At any rate, it isn't clear what's the connection between what the "psychologist" said and the post immediately before it.

Huh. It seemed obvious to me that the psychologist is agreeing with the person directly above her and responding to the initial post in that thread with the idea that no, it's not that the bullied person has a punchable face (Whatever the hell that is), but in fact anyone can be bullied. Psychologist is also noting that someone who has been bullied can in turn bully someone else.

It really wasn't that hard to see the psychologist's point, but even if you couldn't, you were oddly aggressive in your reaction.

[Anonymous]

Amazing to me how many of these posts just automatically assume bad intent on behalf of the other family. Maybe, just maybe, they want to hear what you're hearing from your kid and understand it so that they can validate where their kid is creating an issue vs. responding to provocation, and doing so with an open mind, so they can better engage their own kid and provide appropriate guidance for them? And maybe just maybe your own precious angel is subtly provoking the other child with dirty looks or exclusionary behaviors?

I mean, that's what I'd do. Sure, I'd be ready to acknowledge that my child may have behavioral issues to address, but I also wouldn't just take the school's/other parent's feedback at gospel truth... "Oh, someone else said my kid is doing X? Well that must be the WHOLE story, thanks!" So yeah, if I had an opportunity to meet with the other family for an ongoing issue like this, I'd do so... and try to work constructively with them and the school to help resolve it, not just for this instance, but so that it doesn't become a recurring pattern/theme next year and beyond.

And someone even said to bring a lawyer? WTAF is wrong with you people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Amazing to me how many of these posts just automatically assume bad intent on behalf of the other family. Maybe, just maybe, they want to hear what you're hearing from your kid and understand it so that they can validate where their kid is creating an issue vs. responding to provocation, and doing so with an open mind, so they can better engage their own kid and provide appropriate guidance for them? And maybe just maybe your own precious angel is subtly provoking the other child with dirty looks or exclusionary behaviors?

I mean, that's what I'd do. Sure, I'd be ready to acknowledge that my child may have behavioral issues to address, but I also wouldn't just take the school's/other parent's feedback at gospel truth... "Oh, someone else said my kid is doing X? Well that must be the WHOLE story, thanks!" So yeah, if I had an opportunity to meet with the other family for an ongoing issue like this, I'd do so... and try to work constructively with them and the school to help resolve it, not just for this instance, but so that it doesn't become a recurring pattern/theme next year and beyond.

And someone even said to bring a lawyer? WTAF is wrong with you people?

The OP owes nothing to the other family. Bad intent or not. Why do you want the OP to do them favors? You are a damn fool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amazing to me how many of these posts just automatically assume bad intent on behalf of the other family. Maybe, just maybe, they want to hear what you're hearing from your kid and understand it so that they can validate where their kid is creating an issue vs. responding to provocation, and doing so with an open mind, so they can better engage their own kid and provide appropriate guidance for them? And maybe just maybe your own precious angel is subtly provoking the other child with dirty looks or exclusionary behaviors?

I mean, that's what I'd do. Sure, I'd be ready to acknowledge that my child may have behavioral issues to address, but I also wouldn't just take the school's/other parent's feedback at gospel truth... "Oh, someone else said my kid is doing X? Well that must be the WHOLE story, thanks!" So yeah, if I had an opportunity to meet with the other family for an ongoing issue like this, I'd do so... and try to work constructively with them and the school to help resolve it, not just for this instance, but so that it doesn't become a recurring pattern/theme next year and beyond.

And someone even said to bring a lawyer? WTAF is wrong with you people?

The OP owes nothing to the other family. Bad intent or not. Why do you want the OP to do them favors? You are a damn fool.

What is your problem, PP? You’ve now told multiple posters that they were “naive,” “foolish,” “ridiculous,” “completely ridiculous,” and a “damn fool,” for suggesting that the meeting could conceivably be helpful, but you have not explained your reasoning. It’s hard to take you seriously.

Op, please let us know what you decide to do!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100% do NOT meet with them. Absolutely not. Same with the children.

+1. We were offered this at one point and declined. Situation still got resolved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amazing to me how many of these posts just automatically assume bad intent on behalf of the other family. Maybe, just maybe, they want to hear what you're hearing from your kid and understand it so that they can validate where their kid is creating an issue vs. responding to provocation, and doing so with an open mind, so they can better engage their own kid and provide appropriate guidance for them? And maybe just maybe your own precious angel is subtly provoking the other child with dirty looks or exclusionary behaviors?

I mean, that's what I'd do. Sure, I'd be ready to acknowledge that my child may have behavioral issues to address, but I also wouldn't just take the school's/other parent's feedback at gospel truth... "Oh, someone else said my kid is doing X? Well that must be the WHOLE story, thanks!" So yeah, if I had an opportunity to meet with the other family for an ongoing issue like this, I'd do so... and try to work constructively with them and the school to help resolve it, not just for this instance, but so that it doesn't become a recurring pattern/theme next year and beyond.

And someone even said to bring a lawyer? WTAF is wrong with you people?

The OP owes nothing to the other family. Bad intent or not. Why do you want the OP to do them favors? You are a damn fool.

Who said they owed anything to the other family? Why is that the critiera? In what sense are they doing them a "favor"? Maybe OP is open-minded to learn a different perspective on their own child's behavior than just what their kid is telling them directly. In short, maybe OP is actually a decent human being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't go just because I don't have the time in the day for that kind of nonsense.

It's emotional labor being asked of the OP, particularly if somehow the other parents turn out to be manipulative bullies as well.

It's just time out of the day when OP could be doing literally anything else.

You've just described most of the things in life. Living in the world involves interacting with other people. That's how it works.

See, but you can choose to do certain things and not others. That is also living in the world. I occasionally get the choice about whether or not to have meaningless and potentially harmful interactions. I'd be dumb if I chose to have those interactions.

Pretty much any interaction has the potential to be harmful or helpful, meaningless or meaningful. There's not enough information here to make an assumption that this one would be one way or the other. You'd be equivalently dumb if you avoided potentially helpful interactions just because there was a chance it might be a harmful one. So you show up, and if it goes sideways, you leave... but most other parents I've met are sincere, and you might have the opportunity to realize that the situation as your kid has presented it to you isn't quite as black and white as it seems (it hardly EVER is).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amazing to me how many of these posts just automatically assume bad intent on behalf of the other family. Maybe, just maybe, they want to hear what you're hearing from your kid and understand it so that they can validate where their kid is creating an issue vs. responding to provocation, and doing so with an open mind, so they can better engage their own kid and provide appropriate guidance for them? And maybe just maybe your own precious angel is subtly provoking the other child with dirty looks or exclusionary behaviors?

I mean, that's what I'd do. Sure, I'd be ready to acknowledge that my child may have behavioral issues to address, but I also wouldn't just take the school's/other parent's feedback at gospel truth... "Oh, someone else said my kid is doing X? Well that must be the WHOLE story, thanks!" So yeah, if I had an opportunity to meet with the other family for an ongoing issue like this, I'd do so... and try to work constructively with them and the school to help resolve it, not just for this instance, but so that it doesn't become a recurring pattern/theme next year and beyond.

And someone even said to bring a lawyer? WTAF is wrong with you people?

The OP owes nothing to the other family. Bad intent or not. Why do you want the OP to do them favors? You are a damn fool.

What is your problem, PP? You’ve now told multiple posters that they were “naive,” “foolish,” “ridiculous,” “completely ridiculous,” and a “damn fool,” for suggesting that the meeting could conceivably be helpful, but you have not explained your reasoning. It’s hard to take you seriously.

Op, please let us know what you decide to do!

I also don't understand the person that is really adamant that OP go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't go just because I don't have the time in the day for that kind of nonsense.

It's emotional labor being asked of the OP, particularly if somehow the other parents turn out to be manipulative bullies as well.

It's just time out of the day when OP could be doing literally anything else.

You've just described most of the things in life. Living in the world involves interacting with other people. That's how it works.

See, but you can choose to do certain things and not others. That is also living in the world. I occasionally get the choice about whether or not to have meaningless and potentially harmful interactions. I'd be dumb if I chose to have those interactions.

Pretty much any interaction has the potential to be harmful or helpful, meaningless or meaningful. There's not enough information here to make an assumption that this one would be one way or the other. You'd be equivalently dumb if you avoided potentially helpful interactions just because there was a chance it might be a harmful one. So you show up, and if it goes sideways, you leave... but most other parents I've met are sincere, and you might have the opportunity to realize that the situation as your kid has presented it to you isn't quite as black and white as it seems (it hardly EVER is).

I conceivably can run into traffic and still be fine, but there is zero benefit to doing so and lots of risk.

You can't be this pollyannaish in reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amazing to me how many of these posts just automatically assume bad intent on behalf of the other family. Maybe, just maybe, they want to hear what you're hearing from your kid and understand it so that they can validate where their kid is creating an issue vs. responding to provocation, and doing so with an open mind, so they can better engage their own kid and provide appropriate guidance for them? And maybe just maybe your own precious angel is subtly provoking the other child with dirty looks or exclusionary behaviors?

I mean, that's what I'd do. Sure, I'd be ready to acknowledge that my child may have behavioral issues to address, but I also wouldn't just take the school's/other parent's feedback at gospel truth... "Oh, someone else said my kid is doing X? Well that must be the WHOLE story, thanks!" So yeah, if I had an opportunity to meet with the other family for an ongoing issue like this, I'd do so... and try to work constructively with them and the school to help resolve it, not just for this instance, but so that it doesn't become a recurring pattern/theme next year and beyond.

And someone even said to bring a lawyer? WTAF is wrong with you people?

The OP owes nothing to the other family. Bad intent or not. Why do you want the OP to do them favors? You are a damn fool.

What is your problem, PP? You’ve now told multiple posters that they were “naive,” “foolish,” “ridiculous,” “completely ridiculous,” and a “damn fool,” for suggesting that the meeting could conceivably be helpful, but you have not explained your reasoning. It’s hard to take you seriously.

Op, please let us know what you decide to do!

You seemingly are nosy, that’s why you want OP to go.