The school has arranged for us to meet with the parents of the child who has been bullying our child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% do NOT meet with them. Absolutely not. Same with the children.

But this defeats the goal of restorative justice.

I think the ethical thing to do, OP, is to honor the school’s (and the other parents) request; don’t you agree?

Restorative justice can only work if people give it a chance.

What’s the worst that could happen?

The OP doesn’t owe them anything.

As a society, don’t we all owe it to give restorative justice / social justice our absolute best efforts?

Screw off, Right Wing troll. You’re not clever and you’re not fooling anyone with a brain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would probably go just because I’d be curious as to what they have to say, but that’s just me. I’d also keep my own mouth shut and not saying anything more than some sort of non-committal generalities.

I would be curious too.

When my children have been bullied in the past, I have really only had their word to go on, and I’ve wondered how they were contributing to the situation. Both times this happened, I met with the other parents, heard their perspective, and recognized that these were not reasonable people and my child was not at fault.
Once was a little boy who was threatening my son. Met his parents, and they were rude and threatening and had no insight into why their child was wrong.
The other was a little girl who was encouraging all of the irks in the class not to talk to my daughter. I thought that maybe my daughter had gotten into an argument with this girl and was exaggerating. During this meeting, the girls’ mom mentioned that she was prom queen and her husband was a prominent attorney, then told me that some people just know how to make friends (like her child) and some just don’t. Again, no insight that her child’s behavior was not okay.

Anyway, I found it very helpful to get a better understanding of the situation and to advocate for my child.

The fact is, victims of bullying often create their own bullying. A crude way to put it is to say a kid has a punchable face. More charitably, the kid just doesn’t fit in. A SN kid doesn’t know how to carry himself, or a “regular” kid is just weird. Kids have enough going on just with learning and hormones. They don’t need to worry they’re going to shatter some kids when they’re just experimenting.

So you should attend. Technically the other kids are “at fault”, but yours plays a role. Own it.

Imagine admitting to being trash like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would probably go just because I’d be curious as to what they have to say, but that’s just me. I’d also keep my own mouth shut and not saying anything more than some sort of non-committal generalities.

I would be curious too.

When my children have been bullied in the past, I have really only had their word to go on, and I’ve wondered how they were contributing to the situation. Both times this happened, I met with the other parents, heard their perspective, and recognized that these were not reasonable people and my child was not at fault.
Once was a little boy who was threatening my son. Met his parents, and they were rude and threatening and had no insight into why their child was wrong.
The other was a little girl who was encouraging all of the irks in the class not to talk to my daughter. I thought that maybe my daughter had gotten into an argument with this girl and was exaggerating. During this meeting, the girls’ mom mentioned that she was prom queen and her husband was a prominent attorney, then told me that some people just know how to make friends (like her child) and some just don’t. Again, no insight that her child’s behavior was not okay.

Anyway, I found it very helpful to get a better understanding of the situation and to advocate for my child.

The fact is, victims of bullying often create their own bullying. A crude way to put it is to say a kid has a punchable face. More charitably, the kid just doesn’t fit in. A SN kid doesn’t know how to carry himself, or a “regular” kid is just weird. Kids have enough going on just with learning and hormones. They don’t need to worry they’re going to shatter some kids when they’re just experimenting.

So you should attend. Technically the other kids are “at fault”, but yours plays a role. Own it.

Imagine admitting to being trash like this.

DP here.

Don't bullies usually pick on kids who are different or perceived as weak in some way?

I don't think they go after popular kids with lots of friends to back them up.

[Anonymous]

The general attitudes of closed-mindedness, assumption of ill intent, and unwillingness to attempt to engage in a potentially constructive conversation (or expend any effort to make it so) that pervade throughout this thread are a sad commentary on where we're at as a society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would probably go just because I’d be curious as to what they have to say, but that’s just me. I’d also keep my own mouth shut and not saying anything more than some sort of non-committal generalities.

I would be curious too.

When my children have been bullied in the past, I have really only had their word to go on, and I’ve wondered how they were contributing to the situation. Both times this happened, I met with the other parents, heard their perspective, and recognized that these were not reasonable people and my child was not at fault.
Once was a little boy who was threatening my son. Met his parents, and they were rude and threatening and had no insight into why their child was wrong.
The other was a little girl who was encouraging all of the irks in the class not to talk to my daughter. I thought that maybe my daughter had gotten into an argument with this girl and was exaggerating. During this meeting, the girls’ mom mentioned that she was prom queen and her husband was a prominent attorney, then told me that some people just know how to make friends (like her child) and some just don’t. Again, no insight that her child’s behavior was not okay.

Anyway, I found it very helpful to get a better understanding of the situation and to advocate for my child.

The fact is, victims of bullying often create their own bullying. A crude way to put it is to say a kid has a punchable face. More charitably, the kid just doesn’t fit in. A SN kid doesn’t know how to carry himself, or a “regular” kid is just weird. Kids have enough going on just with learning and hormones. They don’t need to worry they’re going to shatter some kids when they’re just experimenting.

So you should attend. Technically the other kids are “at fault”, but yours plays a role. Own it.

Imagine admitting to being trash like this.

DP here.

Don't bullies usually pick on kids who are different or perceived as weak in some way?

I don't think they go after popular kids with lots of friends to back them up.

Well it depends. There’s lots of friend/acquaintance group bullying too. The popular kids bully each other all the time within their own group.

[Anonymous]

I’d ask for more information from the school about what the point of the meeting is.

[Anonymous]

I would not meet. And I'd tell them that, by making that offer, it seems the school has not taken your concerns seriously. Why would they put you or your child in that situation? (If you asked for it, that's one thing).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The general attitudes of closed-mindedness, assumption of ill intent, and unwillingness to attempt to engage in a potentially constructive conversation (or expend any effort to make it so) that pervade throughout this thread are a sad commentary on where we're at as a society.

+1
A lot of very angry people here. The world is not black and white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The general attitudes of closed-mindedness, assumption of ill intent, and unwillingness to attempt to engage in a potentially constructive conversation (or expend any effort to make it so) that pervade throughout this thread are a sad commentary on where we're at as a society.

+1
A lot of very angry people here. The world is not black and white.

A lot of naive people like you. This “meeting” is very black and white, fool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The general attitudes of closed-mindedness, assumption of ill intent, and unwillingness to attempt to engage in a potentially constructive conversation (or expend any effort to make it so) that pervade throughout this thread are a sad commentary on where we're at as a society.

+1
A lot of very angry people here. The world is not black and white.

A lot of naive people like you. This “meeting” is very black and white, fool.

^^^ Thank you troll for stereotyping the problematic thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The general attitudes of closed-mindedness, assumption of ill intent, and unwillingness to attempt to engage in a potentially constructive conversation (or expend any effort to make it so) that pervade throughout this thread are a sad commentary on where we're at as a society.

+1
A lot of very angry people here. The world is not black and white.

A lot of naive people like you. This “meeting” is very black and white, fool.

^^^ Thank you troll for stereotyping the problematic thinking.

You’re very welcome for discrediting yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The general attitudes of closed-mindedness, assumption of ill intent, and unwillingness to attempt to engage in a potentially constructive conversation (or expend any effort to make it so) that pervade throughout this thread are a sad commentary on where we're at as a society.

new poster. My response reflects a lack of trust in the school to have my kid's best interest in mind. I used to think they did. Since Covid, my kid's schools has been operating more like my company's HR department, which is to say, their primary interest is in protecting the institution. YMMV (and I hope it does).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The general attitudes of closed-mindedness, assumption of ill intent, and unwillingness to attempt to engage in a potentially constructive conversation (or expend any effort to make it so) that pervade throughout this thread are a sad commentary on where we're at as a society.

new poster. My response reflects a lack of trust in the school to have my kid's best interest in mind. I used to think they did. Since Covid, my kid's schools has been operating more like my company's HR department, which is to say, their primary interest is in protecting the institution. YMMV (and I hope it does).

Agree. Besides that, there is no reason whatsoever to meet with the other parents. Good intentions or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The general attitudes of closed-mindedness, assumption of ill intent, and unwillingness to attempt to engage in a potentially constructive conversation (or expend any effort to make it so) that pervade throughout this thread are a sad commentary on where we're at as a society.

new poster. My response reflects a lack of trust in the school to have my kid's best interest in mind. I used to think they did. Since Covid, my kid's schools has been operating more like my company's HR department, which is to say, their primary interest is in protecting the institution. YMMV (and I hope it does).

+1

Although we started noticing it before covid.

It's gotten to the point that I wonder whether we need to get rid of all the bullying laws, protocols and IEPs for non-severe disabilities. Instead of helping they seem to be incentivizing schools to do nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The general attitudes of closed-mindedness, assumption of ill intent, and unwillingness to attempt to engage in a potentially constructive conversation (or expend any effort to make it so) that pervade throughout this thread are a sad commentary on where we're at as a society.

new poster. My response reflects a lack of trust in the school to have my kid's best interest in mind. I used to think they did. Since Covid, my kid's schools has been operating more like my company's HR department, which is to say, their primary interest is in protecting the institution. YMMV (and I hope it does).

+1000

And it does not help we have a extremely radical school board and superintendent, helping drive our schools over a cliff.