New boyfriend loves this comedy routine- red flag? Or am I overthinking?

[Anonymous]

Men, do not take your girlfriend to a comedy show. Women, do not date men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men, do not take your girlfriend to a comedy show. Women, do not date men.

It's not him laughing at the show, it's what he said after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of women here really want the guy you read in your romance novels that doesn’t exist in real life. And you want him to be filthy rich so you can not work and live off his fortune.

Some of you sound very miserable.

Yes, indeed it is quite absurd that women like the OP expect a man who respects them and doesn’t tell lewd jokes at their expense. What a ridiculous fantasy that doesn’t exist in real life.

Nothing about the OPs post indicated that her boyfriend did not respect her, or that he told lewd jokes at her expense. He laughed at a comedy routine she did not like. That is all he did.

No, they both laughed at the provocative comedy routine about men wanting to kill their wives and women over 30 being worthless. Then he went into an unnecessary monologue about how the comedy routine represents how all men actually feel about women. I think Patrice O'Neill is hilarious. I also think OP's boyfriend is a walking red flag and at the very least an adult man with no social skills.

Not how OP described it - she described it as a conversation after they watched it, which I suspect was her giving him the third degree about why he was laughing. The whole thing is ridiculous - even OP's title of this thread - "Boyfriend loves this comedy routine" Makes it sounds like organizes his life around it, not like he watched it once and laughed at it.
.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men, do not take your girlfriend to a comedy show. Women, do not date men.

It's not him laughing at the show, it's what he said after.

Men, do not laugh at comedians. Men and women-do not talk about comedy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New boyfriend of 3 months and I watched a comedy routine last night. We're both 41yo. The comedy routine was Patrice O'Neil from 2011 and the comedian has admitted in interviews he's a misogynist. He talks a lot about "old pu**y" (e.g., women over 40 years old), and how every man thinks about killing his wife to get her to shut up, etc. He also talks about how men are like fishermen and just want to catch a fish (a woman), show it off to his friends, and then toss it back into the sea immediately.

We were both laughing. Obviously it's meant to be provocative. However, we were talking afterwards and bf said that's how men really think and they don't want women to know, and he could relate to a lot of it.

I laughed it off but now I'm thinking more about it. Does he really hold those disrespectful views toward women? I have not seen any evidence of that in real life, but it gave me pause. Is this a red flag, or am I overthinking it?

This is why OP is upset. This is similar to when your DH or BF says so and so attractive. You compare yourself to that person and it goes down hill. Comedy routine makes fun of old pu**y and she thinks hey that is me….why are you laughing at that/me. You must agree about old pu**y. It just makes it personal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of women here really want the guy you read in your romance novels that doesn’t exist in real life. And you want him to be filthy rich so you can not work and live off his fortune.

Some of you sound very miserable.

Yes, indeed it is quite absurd that women like the OP expect a man who respects them and doesn’t tell lewd jokes at their expense. What a ridiculous fantasy that doesn’t exist in real life.

Nothing about the OPs post indicated that her boyfriend did not respect her, or that he told lewd jokes at her expense. He laughed at a comedy routine she did not like. That is all he did.

No, they both laughed at the provocative comedy routine about men wanting to kill their wives and women over 30 being worthless. Then he went into an unnecessary monologue about how the comedy routine represents how all men actually feel about women. I think Patrice O'Neill is hilarious. I also think OP's boyfriend is a walking red flag and at the very least an adult man with no social skills.

Not how OP described it - she described it as a conversation after they watched it, which I suspect was her giving him the third degree about why he was laughing. The whole thing is ridiculous - even OP's title of this thread - "Boyfriend loves this comedy routine" Makes it sounds like organizes his life around it, not like he watched it once and laughed at it.
.

If OP was capable of a third degree she wouldn't be here crowdsourcing analogies. This guy has no EQ at best and is a creepy misogynist at worst. And I repeat: I think Patrice O'Neill is hilarious. This isn't about the comedy, it's about his post-mortem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New boyfriend of 3 months and I watched a comedy routine last night. We're both 41yo. The comedy routine was Patrice O'Neil from 2011 and the comedian has admitted in interviews he's a misogynist. He talks a lot about "old pu**y" (e.g., women over 40 years old), and how every man thinks about killing his wife to get her to shut up, etc. He also talks about how men are like fishermen and just want to catch a fish (a woman), show it off to his friends, and then toss it back into the sea immediately.

We were both laughing. Obviously it's meant to be provocative. However, we were talking afterwards and bf said that's how men really think and they don't want women to know, and he could relate to a lot of it.

I laughed it off but now I'm thinking more about it. Does he really hold those disrespectful views toward women? I have not seen any evidence of that in real life, but it gave me pause. Is this a red flag, or am I overthinking it?

This is why OP is upset. This is similar to when your DH or BF says so and so attractive. You compare yourself to that person and it goes down hill. Comedy routine makes fun of old pu**y and she thinks hey that is me….why are you laughing at that/me. You must agree about old pu**y. It just makes it personal.

So basically, OP is making up something to be mad at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, the most important thing in this is that your instincts are giving you warning bells. Many times we find we are in years of a bad relationship, wasting a lot of time, because we shrugged early things off and didn’t trust our instincts. Then we acknowledge later that we should have listened.

As said above, the issue isn’t the comedy routine or laughing at extreme comments. The issue is that he has stated, out in the open, that he agrees with it all. All comedy is made up of kernels of truth, but completely agreeing with extreme comments is different. To your point, if you were to tell a man that the only thing they’re good for is paying the bills, and you hate having to be in a room with them the rest of the time, and any aging on them disgusts you…odds are he would have an issue being in a relationship with you if that’s how you really felt.

I agree with others that you should find an opportunity soon to suss out more about what he meant when he said he agreed with everything the comedian said. He may not have meant that comment the way you are interpreting it. If he clarifies that yes, he meant what he said at face value, that he truly believes all the extreme sentiment, or he blows off your question and says you are being too sensitive/can’t take a joke, then your instincts are right. You should move on.

1000% this, OP. Listen to your body's reactions. Are there reasons why you wouldn't trust yourself and your responses? Do you have past patterns in other relationships you don't trust?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of women here really want the guy you read in your romance novels that doesn’t exist in real life. And you want him to be filthy rich so you can not work and live off his fortune.

Some of you sound very miserable.

Yes, indeed it is quite absurd that women like the OP expect a man who respects them and doesn’t tell lewd jokes at their expense. What a ridiculous fantasy that doesn’t exist in real life.

Nothing about the OPs post indicated that her boyfriend did not respect her, or that he told lewd jokes at her expense. He laughed at a comedy routine she did not like. That is all he did.

No, they both laughed at the provocative comedy routine about men wanting to kill their wives and women over 30 being worthless. Then he went into an unnecessary monologue about how the comedy routine represents how all men actually feel about women. I think Patrice O'Neill is hilarious. I also think OP's boyfriend is a walking red flag and at the very least an adult man with no social skills.

Not how OP described it - she described it as a conversation after they watched it, which I suspect was her giving him the third degree about why he was laughing. The whole thing is ridiculous - even OP's title of this thread - "Boyfriend loves this comedy routine" Makes it sounds like organizes his life around it, not like he watched it once and laughed at it.
.

If OP was capable of a third degree she wouldn't be here crowdsourcing analogies. This guy has no EQ at best and is a creepy misogynist at worst. And I repeat: I think Patrice O'Neill is hilarious. This isn't about the comedy, it's about his post-mortem.

People love, I mean love using the word misogyny whenever and wherever they can insert it.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, he's gross. OP, please listen to your inner voice. You're posting here because you know they guy is, at his core, not worthy and possibly a creep. Ick.

[Anonymous]

He should only watch wholesome comedians like Bill Cosby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New boyfriend of 3 months and I watched a comedy routine last night. We're both 41yo. The comedy routine was Patrice O'Neil from 2011 and the comedian has admitted in interviews he's a misogynist. He talks a lot about "old pu**y" (e.g., women over 40 years old), and how every man thinks about killing his wife to get her to shut up, etc. He also talks about how men are like fishermen and just want to catch a fish (a woman), show it off to his friends, and then toss it back into the sea immediately.

We were both laughing. Obviously it's meant to be provocative. However, we were talking afterwards and bf said that's how men really think and they don't want women to know, and he could relate to a lot of it.

I laughed it off but now I'm thinking more about it. Does he really hold those disrespectful views toward women? I have not seen any evidence of that in real life, but it gave me pause. Is this a red flag, or am I overthinking it?

This is why OP is upset. This is similar to when your DH or BF says so and so attractive. You compare yourself to that person and it goes down hill. Comedy routine makes fun of old pu**y and she thinks hey that is me….why are you laughing at that/me. You must agree about old pu**y. It just makes it personal.

So basically, OP is making up something to be mad at.

No she is upset that she is the butt of the joke. BF should not have laughed.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you don't like that he said that (I personally would not either) trust it. He's not for you. Maybe one of the people on this thread who are defending him and calling you and others oversensitive harpies can date him. They sound like a better match.

Men can be weird about comedy. A lot of comedy is designed to upend social norms. As society has gotten more politically correct, it creates this building tension -- people see there are more and more things they are not "supposed" to say or think, and it makes them desperately want to say them out load. A lot of comedy offers that release.

But it's dicy. I've certainly seen a comedian say some offensive, not PC things and laughed so hard at the relief of hearing these things said out loud. I've also heard a comedian say stuff like this, watched other people bust a gut, and thought "oh wow, no, that's just straight up racist/misogynist -- it's weird that hearing that is a relief to you."

If I were you, I'd be grateful for this experience because it reveals where the divide is for you, and that he's on the other side of it. That's a-ok. He's welcome to go find a woman who also relishes thinking about how women over 40 have old pu*** and no men want to love or commit to women. There are lots and lots of people like that in the world. You aren't one of them. Go find a man who shares your basic outlook on romantic relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of women here really want the guy you read in your romance novels that doesn’t exist in real life. And you want him to be filthy rich so you can not work and live off his fortune.

Some of you sound very miserable.

Yes, indeed it is quite absurd that women like the OP expect a man who respects them and doesn’t tell lewd jokes at their expense. What a ridiculous fantasy that doesn’t exist in real life.

Nothing about the OPs post indicated that her boyfriend did not respect her, or that he told lewd jokes at her expense. He laughed at a comedy routine she did not like. That is all he did.

No, they both laughed at the provocative comedy routine about men wanting to kill their wives and women over 30 being worthless. Then he went into an unnecessary monologue about how the comedy routine represents how all men actually feel about women. I think Patrice O'Neill is hilarious. I also think OP's boyfriend is a walking red flag and at the very least an adult man with no social skills.

Not how OP described it - she described it as a conversation after they watched it, which I suspect was her giving him the third degree about why he was laughing. The whole thing is ridiculous - even OP's title of this thread - "Boyfriend loves this comedy routine" Makes it sounds like organizes his life around it, not like he watched it once and laughed at it.
.

If OP was capable of a third degree she wouldn't be here crowdsourcing analogies. This guy has no EQ at best and is a creepy misogynist at worst. And I repeat: I think Patrice O'Neill is hilarious. This isn't about the comedy, it's about his post-mortem.

People love, I mean love using the word misogyny whenever and wherever they can insert it.

Including textbook examples, like OP's DH stating that men want to kill women and women have no value once they're not sexually attractive to men.

[Anonymous]

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Drop him, you’re better off hanging out with friends.