We just started dating and she called me out over a joke. Petty?

[Anonymous]

You sound like an asshole, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[vimeo][/vimeo]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, she is insecure as evidenced by her reaction. You just hit a nerve.

You mean OP is.

No, if she weren’t insecure, she would have laughed it off. OP was being playful and she took it seriously. It wasn’t a big deal, she made it a big deal.

This 100%.

This. She's insecure about her like of celebrity culture. She thinks people think she's an airhead and maybe someone told her that in the past. . She was projecting. . You weren't being mean OP, you were teasing like a guy. She's not being petty just sensitive.

I'm sure you have things you are sensitive about.

Ideally the conversation would have gone with her saying something like" I know .
You were just joking, but I'm sensitive about this I'd appreciate it if you didn't joke about it"

And you could have.responded with something like" I'm sorry it wasn't my intention to hurt your feelings and now that I know I won't tease you about it again."


Moving forward if you think of moving forward with her or others you need to consider your senses of humor it's important to partners to match.none thing that made me know my guy was my guy is we've got the same style of humor.

It's also important to give grace, even when we are hurt not to assume the worst of the other. And not turn things into who is right or who is wrong but how can we find a way to move forward as a team and sometimes that means falling on your own sword.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t think it was that bad but I’m not her. It doesn’t matter what the rest of us think. Does she normally have a sense of humor? It sounds like your sense of humor doesn’t match with hers - that’s the issue.

This isn’t even a remotely funny “joke.” Even with all of OP’s context around how she likes celeb gossip…I mean, where’s the funny part? *What* was he even laughing at?

OP is negging and insecure. I’d not hesitate to move on and find someone clever with a real sense of humor.

Yes, and one who knows how to spell “whoa”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[vimeo][/vimeo]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, she is insecure as evidenced by her reaction. You just hit a nerve.

You mean OP is.

No, if she weren’t insecure, she would have laughed it off. OP was being playful and she took it seriously. It wasn’t a big deal, she made it a big deal.

This 100%.

This. She's insecure about her like of celebrity culture. She thinks people think she's an airhead and maybe someone told her that in the past. . She was projecting. . You weren't being mean OP, you were teasing like a guy. She's not being petty just sensitive.

I'm sure you have things you are sensitive about.

Ideally the conversation would have gone with her saying something like" I know .
You were just joking, but I'm sensitive about this I'd appreciate it if you didn't joke about it"

And you could have.responded with something like" I'm sorry it wasn't my intention to hurt your feelings and now that I know I won't tease you about it again."


Moving forward if you think of moving forward with her or others you need to consider your senses of humor it's important to partners to match.none thing that made me know my guy was my guy is we've got the same style of humor.

It's also important to give grace, even when we are hurt not to assume the worst of the other. And not turn things into who is right or who is wrong but how can we find a way to move forward as a team and sometimes that means falling on your own sword.

Eh, disagree. If I tell someone I’m reading the news, and they’re like “Oh, like what, People magazine? National Enquirer?” then that’s asshole behavior. And yes, OP was implying that the woman is dumb, and vapid. I’m confused that he thought that would go over well with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[vimeo][/vimeo]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, she is insecure as evidenced by her reaction. You just hit a nerve.

You mean OP is.

No, if she weren’t insecure, she would have laughed it off. OP was being playful and she took it seriously. It wasn’t a big deal, she made it a big deal.

This 100%.

This. She's insecure about her like of celebrity culture. She thinks people think she's an airhead and maybe someone told her that in the past. . She was projecting. . You weren't being mean OP, you were teasing like a guy. She's not being petty just sensitive.

I'm sure you have things you are sensitive about.

Ideally the conversation would have gone with her saying something like" I know .
You were just joking, but I'm sensitive about this I'd appreciate it if you didn't joke about it"

And you could have.responded with something like" I'm sorry it wasn't my intention to hurt your feelings and now that I know I won't tease you about it again."


Moving forward if you think of moving forward with her or others you need to consider your senses of humor it's important to partners to match.none thing that made me know my guy was my guy is we've got the same style of humor.

It's also important to give grace, even when we are hurt not to assume the worst of the other. And not turn things into who is right or who is wrong but how can we find a way to move forward as a team and sometimes that means falling on your own sword.

+1

I also think sometimes you need to have a really solid, secure relationship with somebody to be able to tease them about certain things. Like my mom teases me about being dumb and I hate it because I know she actually thinks I’m kind of stupid. My husband teases me when I do something dumb but it’s actually funny when he does it because I know he genuinely thinks I’m highly intelligent and he really likes my personality.

[Anonymous]

Not petty. You are the one butthurt by her response. The correct thing to do would’ve been to say “Oh I’m sorry, you know I think you’re very intelligent and certainly not an airhead. I know you enjoy celebrity gossip too, so I was just teasing you.”

[Anonymous]

Red flag. My ex was like this. It got exhausting quick.

She took everything in the works as a perceived slight.

Some people like to rib one another. I grew up that way, my friends and family are that way and the woman I fell in love with and have been married to 23 years is that way.

If someone can’t laugh at themselves there are deep seated issues. Looking to start a fight abs have drama constantly ….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[vimeo][/vimeo]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, she is insecure as evidenced by her reaction. You just hit a nerve.

You mean OP is.

No, if she weren’t insecure, she would have laughed it off. OP was being playful and she took it seriously. It wasn’t a big deal, she made it a big deal.

This 100%.

This. She's insecure about her like of celebrity culture. She thinks people think she's an airhead and maybe someone told her that in the past. . She was projecting. . You weren't being mean OP, you were teasing like a guy. She's not being petty just sensitive.

I'm sure you have things you are sensitive about.

Ideally the conversation would have gone with her saying something like" I know .
You were just joking, but I'm sensitive about this I'd appreciate it if you didn't joke about it"

And you could have.responded with something like" I'm sorry it wasn't my intention to hurt your feelings and now that I know I won't tease you about it again."


Moving forward if you think of moving forward with her or others you need to consider your senses of humor it's important to partners to match.none thing that made me know my guy was my guy is we've got the same style of humor.

It's also important to give grace, even when we are hurt not to assume the worst of the other. And not turn things into who is right or who is wrong but how can we find a way to move forward as a team and sometimes that means falling on your own sword.

Eh, disagree. If I tell someone I’m reading the news, and they’re like “Oh, like what, People magazine? National Enquirer?” then that’s asshole behavior. And yes, OP was implying that the woman is dumb, and vapid. I’m confused that he thought that would go over well with her.

Perhaps she is.

[Anonymous]

If she can't laugh at herself, then move on, OP. You are not a good fit together. It would be a dismal, walk-on-eggshells existence with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[vimeo][/vimeo]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, she is insecure as evidenced by her reaction. You just hit a nerve.

You mean OP is.

No, if she weren’t insecure, she would have laughed it off. OP was being playful and she took it seriously. It wasn’t a big deal, she made it a big deal.

This 100%.

This. She's insecure about her like of celebrity culture. She thinks people think she's an airhead and maybe someone told her that in the past. . She was projecting. . You weren't being mean OP, you were teasing like a guy. She's not being petty just sensitive.

I'm sure you have things you are sensitive about.

Ideally the conversation would have gone with her saying something like" I know .
You were just joking, but I'm sensitive about this I'd appreciate it if you didn't joke about it"

And you could have.responded with something like" I'm sorry it wasn't my intention to hurt your feelings and now that I know I won't tease you about it again."


Moving forward if you think of moving forward with her or others you need to consider your senses of humor it's important to partners to match.none thing that made me know my guy was my guy is we've got the same style of humor.

It's also important to give grace, even when we are hurt not to assume the worst of the other. And not turn things into who is right or who is wrong but how can we find a way to move forward as a team and sometimes that means falling on your own sword.

Eh, disagree. If I tell someone I’m reading the news, and they’re like “Oh, like what, People magazine? National Enquirer?” then that’s asshole behavior. And yes, OP was implying that the woman is dumb, and vapid. I’m confused that he thought that would go over well with her.

Perhaps she is.

If so, then they’re probably a good match, since OP asked her if she just finished watching Star magazine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she can't laugh at herself, then move on, OP. You are not a good fit together. It would be a dismal, walk-on-eggshells existence with her.

Then instead you’ll get the cool girl who wants to be easy-going and low maintenance but then someday realizes she has been prioritizing somebody else’s comfort over her own. And that never goes well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[vimeo][/vimeo]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, she is insecure as evidenced by her reaction. You just hit a nerve.

You mean OP is.

No, if she weren’t insecure, she would have laughed it off. OP was being playful and she took it seriously. It wasn’t a big deal, she made it a big deal.

This 100%.

This. She's insecure about her like of celebrity culture. She thinks people think she's an airhead and maybe someone told her that in the past. . She was projecting. . You weren't being mean OP, you were teasing like a guy. She's not being petty just sensitive.

I'm sure you have things you are sensitive about.

Ideally the conversation would have gone with her saying something like" I know .
You were just joking, but I'm sensitive about this I'd appreciate it if you didn't joke about it"

And you could have.responded with something like" I'm sorry it wasn't my intention to hurt your feelings and now that I know I won't tease you about it again."


Moving forward if you think of moving forward with her or others you need to consider your senses of humor it's important to partners to match.none thing that made me know my guy was my guy is we've got the same style of humor.

It's also important to give grace, even when we are hurt not to assume the worst of the other. And not turn things into who is right or who is wrong but how can we find a way to move forward as a team and sometimes that means falling on your own sword.

Eh, disagree. If I tell someone I’m reading the news, and they’re like “Oh, like what, People magazine? National Enquirer?” then that’s asshole behavior. And yes, OP was implying that the woman is dumb, and vapid. I’m confused that he thought that would go over well with her.

Perhaps she is.

If so, then they’re probably a good match, since OP asked her if she just finished watching Star magazine.

Hahaha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she can't laugh at herself, then move on, OP. You are not a good fit together. It would be a dismal, walk-on-eggshells existence with her.

Then instead you’ll get the cool girl who wants to be easy-going and low maintenance but then someday realizes she has been prioritizing somebody else’s comfort over her own. And that never goes well.

I agree with PP. There is a happy medium between being the cool girl doormat and the brittle person who scolds the minute her insecurities are hit unknowingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she can't laugh at herself, then move on, OP. You are not a good fit together. It would be a dismal, walk-on-eggshells existence with her.

Laughing at yourself doesn’t mean laughing at whatever someone else finds “funny” about you. That’s enabling.

But the more I think of this OP the less I think this is a “girlfriend” so much as “another woman who won’t sleep with me”

[Anonymous]

Not sure why you would make a joke about a woman in this area with all the inflated egos. Yikes. Anyways, a women who takes herself too seriously or gets angry easily could turn into a nag or yeller. Move on when you find someone else