We just started dating and she called me out over a joke. Petty?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds a little uptight. Men tease the women they like, and that is time for a woman’s wit, charm, and perspicacity to stand up for herself can shine.

In short, she doesn’t have very good girl game and that won’t change any time soon. I would end it if it were me because I personally don’t think the schoolmarmy, stick-up-the-butt attitude is attractive.

I know men like you. They are always deeply insecure and “tease” their partners as a form of leveling in an attempt to elevate themselves. It’s such a transparent tell of low self confidence, I always feel embarrassed for them.

I’m 13:38 and you said what I was trying to say.

[Anonymous]

I never watch or read those so it wouldn't occur to me that you might be serious, so I'd just laugh along and tell you it was actually Russia Today (or something else outlandish that you'd get - ESPN, Fox, Rai Due).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds a little uptight. Men tease the women they like, and that is time for a woman’s wit, charm, and perspicacity to stand up for herself can shine.

In short, she doesn’t have very good girl game and that won’t change any time soon. I would end it if it were me because I personally don’t think the schoolmarmy, stick-up-the-butt attitude is attractive.

So, because OP insinuated that she’s an idiot his girlfriend should just laugh along, otherwise she’s “uptight”.

Women who have backbones = uptight. Got it.

People have lost their ability to communicate. Prior pp was right, men tease women they like. It doesn’t mean he really thought that’s what she was doing. In fact he most likely thought the exact opposite.

In your shoes op, I’d take it as a red flag. A relationship without humor is challenging.

But she did communicate…..

OP already said she does have a sense of humor. However, “teasing” doesn’t involve insulting your partner’s intelligence. You’re allowed to tell your partner when you don’t like something. She did just that and didn’t make a big deal of out it. Speaking up shouldn’t be a dealbreaker or a red flag.

[Anonymous]

OP is one of those people who uses “petty” in every situation regardless if it fits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds a little uptight. Men tease the women they like, and that is time for a woman’s wit, charm, and perspicacity to stand up for herself can shine.

In short, she doesn’t have very good girl game and that won’t change any time soon. I would end it if it were me because I personally don’t think the schoolmarmy, stick-up-the-butt attitude is attractive.

I know men like you. They are always deeply insecure and “tease” their partners as a form of leveling in an attempt to elevate themselves. It’s such a transparent tell of low self confidence, I always feel embarrassed for them.

I’m 13:38 and you said what I was trying to say.

This.

I bet a million bucks if his gf “teased” OP the same way he would react the same way and not find it petty to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds a little uptight. Men tease the women they like, and that is time for a woman’s wit, charm, and perspicacity to stand up for herself can shine.

In short, she doesn’t have very good girl game and that won’t change any time soon. I would end it if it were me because I personally don’t think the schoolmarmy, stick-up-the-butt attitude is attractive.

I know men like you. They are always deeply insecure and “tease” their partners as a form of leveling in an attempt to elevate themselves. It’s such a transparent tell of low self confidence, I always feel embarrassed for them.

*shrugs* I’m a woman so maybe your ability to read tells isn’t as good as you think.

If a man teases me I can tease him back. I also don’t tell grown men what to do, I’m not his mother. I’d hang up if it were that bad???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:YTA

How am TA? She does enjoy celebrity gossip.

DP. You are the asshole because you made a mean-spirited joke at her expense, and when called out on it directly and in a mature fashion, you attempted to justify it instead of acknowledging it for what it was and apologizing. Your reaction to her calling it out was arguably worse than the initial comment because it shows how little respect you have for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is DCUM so you're at fault since you're a man.

I'd just ignore and move on. She's insecure about her intellectual abilities, and wasn't able to fire back with a joke back to you like "No, I stopped watching TMZ becuase it got too violent with all the Oscars coverage.."

Exactly. You two are not on the same humor page. I’d break up with her and find someone that gets you. It’ll be worth it in the long run.

You can be funny and not put people down, OP. Work on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds a little uptight. Men tease the women they like, and that is time for a woman’s wit, charm, and perspicacity to stand up for herself can shine.

In short, she doesn’t have very good girl game and that won’t change any time soon. I would end it if it were me because I personally don’t think the schoolmarmy, stick-up-the-butt attitude is attractive.

I know men like you. They are always deeply insecure and “tease” their partners as a form of leveling in an attempt to elevate themselves. It’s such a transparent tell of low self confidence, I always feel embarrassed for them.

*shrugs* I’m a woman so maybe your ability to read tells isn’t as good as you think.

If a man teases me I can tease him back. I also don’t tell grown men what to do, I’m not his mother. I’d hang up if it were that bad???

DP,

Okay…I guess you’d just laugh along when someone calls you an airhead then *shruggs*

[Anonymous]

OP, she is insecure as evidenced by her reaction. You just hit a nerve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, she is insecure as evidenced by her reaction. You just hit a nerve.

You mean OP is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t think it was that bad but I’m not her. It doesn’t matter what the rest of us think. Does she normally have a sense of humor? It sounds like your sense of humor doesn’t match with hers - that’s the issue.

Yea, she does have a sense of humor usually. That’s why this threw me off and made me think she’s petty because she doesn’t usually got offended and finds a lot of things humorous.

You have it completely backwards. That she does not get riled up over every joke shows that she is not petty. In your experience, this kind of reaction was unusual for her. Rather than trying to understand where she was coming from (or even just accepting that even if you don’t fully understand it, you get that it bothers her and won’t make that kind of joke about her anymore), you’re retaliating against her for speaking her mind by insulting her to other people.

[Anonymous]

Do you want to be happy, or do you want to be right?

H and I joke around like that. Occasionally one of us will hit a nerve and the other will get irritated. We sincerely apologize and make sure not to joke about it again. Arguing over whether or not it's petty would be counterproductive, what matters is it hurt someone we care about, and it's not that difficult to just apologize and avoid those kinds of jokes in the future.

Maybe take some time to reflect on whether you truly care about *this* woman, or if you just want an emotionless robot who will never get hurt or ask you to change (hint: they don't exist).

[Anonymous]

OP - when she asked if you thought she was an airhead what did you say?

[Anonymous]

What's petty is crowdsourcing how your gf "should" feel, rather than just acknowledging you hurt her, apologize, and move on.

Is TMZ so important to you that you really can't go the rest of your life without mentioning it in a joke?