Signs a guy will ditch you after sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I dated a man last year for like 6 weeks, had sex, and then he lost interest and wanted casual after previously initiating monogamy. I’m now dating again.and wondering what are signs a man will end up losing interest after sex one time?

Sorry, OP. I am sure I'm going to be flamed for this but it's the truth. I am a guy dating so take it with a grain of salt. All the posts about waiting for 3 months are BS. You do you. Based on my opinion and experience, you're not building anticipation or desire by waiting. For me, a relationship has to have both the mental and physical connection to be in sync to pursue further. If the physical connection is not there, it's just not going to work out. You don't want to wait for 3 months and be mentally attracted and then get behind closed doors and find out that the guy is a dud (or from a guy's perspective, you are a dud). Also, I've learned the hard way, that the longer a woman takes to get physical, there are major insecurities that she's dealing with, and/or, just enjoys the free meal because some guys will keep going back to get something that is not available to them.

Wasted time.

As a guy, a woman who is just as interested in a relationship as she is in sex versus a woman who is going to "wait" for some dumb timeline for sex, separates herself from the pack. We will always go for the sexually confident woman. And twice on Sunday. Those who will turn it on when they decide that this is the guy she wants to be with, good for them. If I'm interested in someone, I want to know if we're sexually compatible. Because I don't want to waste my time and money courting someone who is not going to be fun behind closed doors. And when we find someone who is fun, we go back and back for more. We don't ditch them to start the chase all over again.

Maybe (and this is harsh), you're not good at sex. There are no signs that a man will lose interest after sex. On the contrary, speaking for myself, I'm more interested in someone if the sex was good. If you're into it, men will know. If you're doing it just because you have to, we will know as well, and we will not be coming back for more.

I'm not surprised you are single. You are a jerk.

Be surprised all you want. No. I'm not single. If you can read, then you would notice that I said I am dating.

Clearly, my note hit home with you.

Of course he's "dating" trying different women

I could if I wanted to, but I'm not the cheating type. I said I am "dating". I never said, different women. You believe what you want. You are probably another woman that is probably going to go to bed tonight wondering what the world is doing for fun on a Friday night. See, I can assume as well.

Dating means you’re single. Yes, you are single.

If you’re that binary, then sure. Go hang you hat on it. You won. Sure I file my taxes as single. But single people can be partnered. I dunno, maybe even live together. But you won’t know that. I guess in your world one is either single or married. Nothing in between.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am a woman and it's enough for me to kiss with a guy to see if his kiss and touch makes me wet wanting him and to see if kissing me is getting him hard. If it doesn't, I just don't move to next stage - PIV.

I've been with plenty of women where they were good kissers but boring in bed.

So your picker is just not as sensitive if you like so many women kissing. And with this attitude you are just waiting for someone to "amaze" you in bed, rather than being interested in that partner as person, try grow into something together etc. In other words, just f... around as many women as you can. Only consider them as sexual object and it will never result in a long term commitment or a relationship.

I liked only a few men kissing me, and all of them were pretty good in bed. All of them in the first place were interesting to me as a person, cared, were involved in my life etc. When someone loves you, he/she will make you happy in bed one way or another. And when YOU are in love, you will even like a woman playing dead during sex. In fact you will find it extremely sexy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dated a man last year for like 6 weeks, had sex, and then he lost interest and wanted casual after previously initiating monogamy. I’m now dating again.and wondering what are signs a man will end up losing interest after sex one time?

Sorry, OP. I am sure I'm going to be flamed for this but it's the truth. I am a guy dating so take it with a grain of salt. All the posts about waiting for 3 months are BS. You do you. Based on my opinion and experience, you're not building anticipation or desire by waiting. For me, a relationship has to have both the mental and physical connection to be in sync to pursue further. If the physical connection is not there, it's just not going to work out. You don't want to wait for 3 months and be mentally attracted and then get behind closed doors and find out that the guy is a dud (or from a guy's perspective, you are a dud). Also, I've learned the hard way, that the longer a woman takes to get physical, there are major insecurities that she's dealing with, and/or, just enjoys the free meal because some guys will keep going back to get something that is not available to them.

Wasted time.

As a guy, a woman who is just as interested in a relationship as she is in sex versus a woman who is going to "wait" for some dumb timeline for sex, separates herself from the pack. We will always go for the sexually confident woman. And twice on Sunday. Those who will turn it on when they decide that this is the guy she wants to be with, good for them. If I'm interested in someone, I want to know if we're sexually compatible. Because I don't want to waste my time and money courting someone who is not going to be fun behind closed doors. And when we find someone who is fun, we go back and back for more. We don't ditch them to start the chase all over again.

Maybe (and this is harsh), you're not good at sex. There are no signs that a man will lose interest after sex. On the contrary, speaking for myself, I'm more interested in someone if the sex was good. If you're into it, men will know. If you're doing it just because you have to, we will know as well, and we will not be coming back for more.

I'm not surprised you are single. You are a jerk.

Be surprised all you want. No. I'm not single. If you can read, then you would notice that I said I am dating.

Clearly, my note hit home with you.

Of course he's "dating" trying different women

I could if I wanted to, but I'm not the cheating type. I said I am "dating". I never said, different women. You believe what you want. You are probably another woman that is probably going to go to bed tonight wondering what the world is doing for fun on a Friday night. See, I can assume as well.

Dating means you’re single. Yes, you are single.

If you’re that binary, then sure. Go hang you hat on it. You won. Sure I file my taxes as single. But single people can be partnered. I dunno, maybe even live together. But you won’t know that. I guess in your world one is either single or married. Nothing in between.

You guessed right. Why won’t you marry the woman you’re dating alone and want so badly not to cheat on? It’s almost like you, too, make a distinction towards the married state. Does this poor gal know you expect enthusiastic sex (but not a ring) from her indefinitely—or else??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you have a ring on your finger, the guy is sincere. Don't give up the sex until you have a ring on your finger.

Why would I get engaged to a woman who doesn’t already have enthusiastic sex with me?

It’s funny if you think she’s always going to have enthusiastic sex with you.

You didn’t answer the question. Why would I sign up for life with a woman who is already avoiding having sex?

there are many circumstances in marriage when you would not have PIV with a woman, or when a man cannot have sex: difficult pregnancy, cancer treatments etc. If someone I date told me he would always expect me to be ready to have sex, I would assume it's an extremely shallow and inexperienced person who would cheat in marriage whenever there is a health scare, or child birth etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you have a ring on your finger, the guy is sincere. Don't give up the sex until you have a ring on your finger.

Why would I get engaged to a woman who doesn’t already have enthusiastic sex with me?

It’s funny if you think she’s always going to have enthusiastic sex with you.

You didn’t answer the question. Why would I sign up for life with a woman who is already avoiding having sex?

You are never going to get through to this person or the others like her who chime in from time to time. Women like that do not look at sex as a means to pleasure or closeness with a partner. It is a way to exercise control. So any suggestion that you are not going to go along with this are going to be met with weird and illogical responses like this. They cannot answer the fundamental question you pose: why would you get engaged to someone that you haven't slept with? You wouldn't! But they hate the idea that some guy is going to call the shots. So they deflect by making it seem like you are some sex obsessed weirdo who will expect a life of enthusiastic sex on demand. But seriously, you cannot reason with people like this because any answer that suggests they are not in control will be met with these weird responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you have a ring on your finger, the guy is sincere. Don't give up the sex until you have a ring on your finger.

Why would I get engaged to a woman who doesn’t already have enthusiastic sex with me?

It’s funny if you think she’s always going to have enthusiastic sex with you.

You didn’t answer the question. Why would I sign up for life with a woman who is already avoiding having sex?

there are many circumstances in marriage when you would not have PIV with a woman, or when a man cannot have sex: difficult pregnancy, cancer treatments etc. If someone I date told me he would always expect me to be ready to have sex, I would assume it's an extremely shallow and inexperienced person who would cheat in marriage whenever there is a health scare, or child birth etc.

Since no one suggested a woman must perform sex on demand, you’re dishonest for pretending someone did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you have a ring on your finger, the guy is sincere. Don't give up the sex until you have a ring on your finger.

Why would I get engaged to a woman who doesn’t already have enthusiastic sex with me?

It’s funny if you think she’s always going to have enthusiastic sex with you.

That odds are better that enthusiastic sex will continue than no sex turning into enthusiastic sex

Actually enthusiasm for sex comes from the initial excitement and chemicals doping our brains. When the fog clears and we realize the other people has no compatibility or has issues, or doesn't help with chores or kids, our sexual enthusiasm wanes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you have a ring on your finger, the guy is sincere. Don't give up the sex until you have a ring on your finger.

Why would I get engaged to a woman who doesn’t already have enthusiastic sex with me?

It’s funny if you think she’s always going to have enthusiastic sex with you.

That odds are better that enthusiastic sex will continue than no sex turning into enthusiastic sex

I disagree. The more I know you and like you the more enthusiastic I would feel about having sex. If I don't know you well enough I wouldn’t desire sex. You wouldn't be checking my boxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you have a ring on your finger, the guy is sincere. Don't give up the sex until you have a ring on your finger.

Why would I get engaged to a woman who doesn’t already have enthusiastic sex with me?

It’s funny if you think she’s always going to have enthusiastic sex with you.

You didn’t answer the question. Why would I sign up for life with a woman who is already avoiding having sex?

You are never going to get through to this person or the others like her who chime in from time to time. Women like that do not look at sex as a means to pleasure or closeness with a partner. It is a way to exercise control. So any suggestion that you are not going to go along with this are going to be met with weird and illogical responses like this. They cannot answer the fundamental question you pose: why would you get engaged to someone that you haven't slept with? You wouldn't! But they hate the idea that some guy is going to call the shots. So they deflect by making it seem like you are some sex obsessed weirdo who will expect a life of enthusiastic sex on demand. But seriously, you cannot reason with people like this because any answer that suggests they are not in control will be met with these weird responses.

This is projection. Instilling fear in women that no man worth his salt will want her if she doesn’t have sex, and she will be replaced by the next warm hole who will, is the definition of an attempt at control and manipulation. A woman being selective about when and how she has sex is extremely prudent given that they overwhelmingly bear the brunt of irresponsible sexual decisions alone through pregnancy, disease, or delayed reproduction; and that men are overwhelmingly the perpetuators of violence and criminal behavior, more likely to have selfish motives in approaching her, and more likely to abandon her in her times of vulnerability.

A man who can’t possibly fathom why a woman would want to protect herself until an appropriate time is not a man she should be sleeping with. He expects her to put her own well-being secondary to a man’s so-called sexual needs and in the long run that dynamic will be disastrous for both parties. You are really proving the point here.

[Anonymous]

OP I’m sorry that happened to you. But another way to look at it is that it’s good the player let you out early. I dated a guy who I thought was great but played me for like six months. He acted so into me and I thought we were serious, etc. But he was playing me the entire time. I don’t really take it that personally given that I didn’t know, and he’s the one who behaved so unnecessarily weirdly. But man what a waste of my time. I truly wish he would have just dumped me early on and been done with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dated a man last year for like 6 weeks, had sex, and then he lost interest and wanted casual after previously initiating monogamy. I’m now dating again.and wondering what are signs a man will end up losing interest after sex one time?

Where did you have sex, at his house or somewhere else? In my experience men looking for casual sex won't be introducing you to friends, family or bring sexual partner to his house. And even if they do, they would expect you to be "on call" driving to his house whenever he wants "a date".

Try next time to stretch it into 3 months, short termers usually loose patience if no sex happens with a few weeks

Lol, you think a guy that is desirable to women (even one open to, or looking for, monogamy) is going to wait 3 months for sex??

Yes.

You bet he will.

-Married to a "guy that is desirable to women"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you have a ring on your finger, the guy is sincere. Don't give up the sex until you have a ring on your finger.

Why would I get engaged to a woman who doesn’t already have enthusiastic sex with me?

It’s funny if you think she’s always going to have enthusiastic sex with you.

You didn’t answer the question. Why would I sign up for life with a woman who is already avoiding having sex?

there are many circumstances in marriage when you would not have PIV with a woman, or when a man cannot have sex: difficult pregnancy, cancer treatments etc. If someone I date told me he would always expect me to be ready to have sex, I would assume it's an extremely shallow and inexperienced person who would cheat in marriage whenever there is a health scare, or child birth etc.

Since no one suggested a woman must perform sex on demand, you’re dishonest for pretending someone did.

No one suggested that women should get married prior to sex here, or avoid sex indefinitely. Women here are suggesting that they get better satisfaction from sex by taking their time developing that special connection. You suggested that a man should not absolutely wait for such woman develop a connection and instead pursue those who excitedly spread their legs after 3-5 dates. This is not how it works for many women and we read all these disappointed threads about being dumped after sex as a result.

I was never dumped after 2-3 months dating, not a single time! These relationships always developed into mid- or long term (one resulted in marriage). I was in fact dumped once after having sex on a 2nd week of seeing a guy. And that was pretty obvious that he only waited for that.

I suggest women wait developing a connection before spreading legs, so they won't feel being used for free sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you have a ring on your finger, the guy is sincere. Don't give up the sex until you have a ring on your finger.

Why would I get engaged to a woman who doesn’t already have enthusiastic sex with me?

It’s funny if you think she’s always going to have enthusiastic sex with you.

You didn’t answer the question. Why would I sign up for life with a woman who is already avoiding having sex?

there are many circumstances in marriage when you would not have PIV with a woman, or when a man cannot have sex: difficult pregnancy, cancer treatments etc. If someone I date told me he would always expect me to be ready to have sex, I would assume it's an extremely shallow and inexperienced person who would cheat in marriage whenever there is a health scare, or child birth etc.

Since no one suggested a woman must perform sex on demand, you’re dishonest for pretending someone did.

No one suggested that women should get married prior to sex here, or avoid sex indefinitely.

“ Don't give up the sex until you have a ring on your finger.”

[Anonymous]

OP, I have not read the entire 6 pages but I started having better success when I followed the Georgia Rules of Dating.

Date nights are Friday and Saturday nights. The guy initiates the dates. The guy asks you out either by Tuesday or no later than Wednesday for Friday or Saturday.

If he calls or texts you Thurs or Friday for Friday and or SAturday you have plans tell him to check back next week and for a Saturday or Friday night you make plans Tuesday or Wednesday before.

The guy selects the date site. You can always veto or make suggestions due to safety etc but make the guy come up with the date plans. Plans can be as simple as a walk in the park but you have the guy come up with the plans.

Follow these rules for about 8 weeks.

This dramatically improved my dating life. It weeded out the duds. The guys came up with some really good dates.
I'm with a great guy now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:14 here again. Also in my experience, the women who really hold off tend to be not as good in bed yet think highly of their skills. Maybe it's lack of experience for holding out so much. I'm not expecting everyone to jump in the sack after the first date, but some people really hold off like they are following some imaginary rulebook.

In my view, experience does not necessarily come from a number of partners. In fact, short term sex encounters with multiple men who are only interested in quick release doesn't allow to get that experience. With my husband we got to the point when both of us were finishing at the same time, each time we had sex! I was never able to reach it with just dates.

My experience is that men who are mostly interested in sex are actually pretty poor performers in bed: only think about themselves, rushed, limited to standard sex options etc.

It could be that women who make a big deal out of waiting also have some hang-ups about it, perhaps subconscious, and that affects their abilit to feel free and enjoy it/perform well.

I am such a women and it is because a) I get attached (can only sleep w one guy at a time) and b) sex with trust and connection is infinitely better and worth waiting for—I am an animal with someone I love and trust.

SAME. Casual sex has been underwhelming in my experience.

+1,000

This is very true for most women.