So annoyed the cheaters are not getting consequences

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So on behalf of a friend I am so annoyed. Her DH ran off with a subordinate at work (they all work at the same place); the subordinate was also married with kids (he has two with my friend). The two cheaters both divorced and are now together and it has been going on for a total of four years, on and off, with divorce just final 3m ago. Meanwhile cheaters are very happy, no one seems to know or care that they were affair partners, and my friend who was so sweet and lovely is bitter angry and devastated. Not the way things usually turn out if you listen to the people on this board who tell you the APs never wind up together or happy. It’s annoying.

She needs to accept her situation, work on her bitterness and let go. It was not her fault. If she's going to hold to bitterness towards her ex she will never be happy. She is drinking poison. Let go.

How much do you want to be that the situation OP describes is another sexless marriage? The plot twist here is that the husband didn't just put up with it.

Then the husband should have grown a pair and left before finding a new partner. But he didn’t, because he lacks integrity. It’s really just that black and white.

Doubtful. The most painful and lasting/hard to get over betrayals are the ones where the wife/husband never saw it coming--because they were 'happy marriages', still having sex. Those are brutal and so psychologically damaging.

The ones that are severely disconnected, spouses don't really like each other or have sex anymore--are much less surprising, not a total and complete shock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ But obviously lots of emotionally healthy people disagree with you and do care. I’m one. Never been cheated on but I think cheaters have a massive character defect that likely manifests itself in other areas of their life.

I think cheaters have bad character. They are liars. And, most of all, I just find them absolutely pathetic. Selfish, immature and entitled. Zero integrity.

Betrayal is a really bad flaw.

It’s one of the big sins. Adultery.

It's number 7 out of 10, Not as bad as saying the lord's name in vain, but worse than stealing.

The 10 Commandments List, Short Form
You shall have no other gods before Me.
You shall not make idols.
You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.
Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Honor your father and your mother.
You shall not murder.
You shall not commit adultery.
You shall not steal.
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
You shall not covet.

Matthew:22 36-40
36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”


I don't see anything in there about picking and choosing which is worst based on what suits your narrative, ymmv.

Don’t tell the Catholics that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So on behalf of a friend I am so annoyed. Her DH ran off with a subordinate at work (they all work at the same place); the subordinate was also married with kids (he has two with my friend). The two cheaters both divorced and are now together and it has been going on for a total of four years, on and off, with divorce just final 3m ago. Meanwhile cheaters are very happy, no one seems to know or care that they were affair partners, and my friend who was so sweet and lovely is bitter angry and devastated. Not the way things usually turn out if you listen to the people on this board who tell you the APs never wind up together or happy. It’s annoying.

She needs to accept her situation, work on her bitterness and let go. It was not her fault. If she's going to hold to bitterness towards her ex she will never be happy. She is drinking poison. Let go.

How much do you want to be that the situation OP describes is another sexless marriage? The plot twist here is that the husband didn't just put up with it.

Then the husband should have grown a pair and left before finding a new partner. But he didn’t, because he lacks integrity. It’s really just that black and white.

Doubtful. The most painful and lasting/hard to get over betrayals are the ones where the wife/husband never saw it coming--because they were 'happy marriages', still having sex. Those are brutal and so psychologically damaging.

The ones that are severely disconnected, spouses don't really like each other or have sex anymore--are much less surprising, not a total and complete shock.

Yes--that guy needs to go read the last post on 'have you caught your partner cheating' 10:39. It's exactly what he does on every thread.

[Anonymous]

I cheat occasionally and here is why. I like to have sex and that is it. I’m not emotionally attached in any way. Most of the time it’s a coworker or dancer from a club. 90% of the time there is no kissing and I honestly have no real desire to spend anytime with them other than doing the deed. I’m also happily married.

So you know that you suck as a person and a spouse. And a “dancer”? Is that what they call prostitutes now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I cheat occasionally and here is why. I like to have sex and that is it. I’m not emotionally attached in any way. Most of the time it’s a coworker or dancer from a club. 90% of the time there is no kissing and I honestly have no real desire to spend anytime with them other than doing the deed. I’m also happily married.

So you know that you suck as a person and a spouse. And a “dancer”? Is that what they call prostitutes now?

It's all about him. With the cheaters the viewpoint is only theirs. That's the only one that counts.

[Anonymous]

Life is not a morality play. Much as we like to think it is and even invent religions promising it were so, it just isn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Is it just a handful of posters who post incessantly about how cheaters are the worse? I don't get it. No one I know in real life harbors such seething resentment.

Yes, I have come to believe there is one open marriage poster on one extreme and one EVIL CHEATING on the other extreme they basically argue with each other. Perhaps they are ex spouses.

NP. That about sums it up.

This.

[Anonymous]

I think people that lie and cheat have the assumption that everyone does. I don't think they are ever fully comfortable with a relationship with a fellow cheater. I think they will have their own personal hell down the road once the bloom is off the rose. And, if they don't, oh well I wouldn't want to be either of them. I would not want to carry the weight of hurting someone that much on my back. It's why I would never 'revenge cheat'. I prefer to live my life in a way that matches kindness, integrity, loyalty and trust. Cheating would never align with my personal values, nor would banging someone committed to another person-married or bf-gf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people that lie and cheat have the assumption that everyone does. I don't think they are ever fully comfortable with a relationship with a fellow cheater. I think they will have their own personal hell down the road once the bloom is off the rose. And, if they don't, oh well I wouldn't want to be either of them. I would not want to carry the weight of hurting someone that much on my back. It's why I would never 'revenge cheat'. I prefer to live my life in a way that matches kindness, integrity, loyalty and trust. Cheating would never align with my personal values, nor would banging someone committed to another person-married or bf-gf[b].

Trash does that. Cheating and drama is so Jerry Springer. Trash can people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
That's all right by me. Frankly this board has a few mentally ill posters who seem to think that cheaters rank worse than any other criminal on the planet. It's unhealthy and creepy. Move on already. Nobody else cares but you.

+1. Who cares?

[Anonymous]

I know a cheater who ended up president and his affair partner the First Lady. They’ll get their karma some day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a cheater who ended up president and his affair partner the First Lady. They’ll get their karma some day.

Oh Melanie already has. Lol. Porn stars and all kinds of dirty whores behind her back. She never looked happy.

Ivana, on the other hand, is living her best life since divorcing Orange monkey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a cheater who ended up president and his affair partner the First Lady. They’ll get their karma some day.

Oh Melanie already has. Lol. Porn stars and all kinds of dirty whores behind her back. She never looked happy.

Ivana, on the other hand, is living her best life since divorcing Orange monkey.

Them too.

[Anonymous]

The betrayed in the marriage isn't always the victim. What if the cheater was denied intimacy? Wouldn't the consequences fall upon the betrayed spouse for withholding?

[Anonymous]

The betrayed in the marriage isn't always the victim. What if the cheater was denied intimacy? Wouldn't the consequences fall upon the betrayed spouse for withholding?

No, am actually mature adult would end the marriage first. The betrayed is ALWAYS the victim.