So annoyed the cheaters are not getting consequences

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I understand where you are coming from and your sentiment about the situation. It feels unjust that your friend had to endure so much pain and humiliation while there appears to be no consequences for her ex.

I get it and want to point to something from my own experience. In high school I was bullied unmercifully by a boy a couple years older than me (I’m female FWIW). He’d throw things at me in the parking lot, scream foul obscenities, mock me, tell me that I needed to commit suicide. I literally did nothing to him and had very little interaction with him previously. His behavior, and that of several others in his circle, fundamentally transformed how I saw myself as a person, left me anxious and fearful of literally everyone, and made me not want to leave the house, ever. I was so scared of him that I refused to go to school and nearly flunked out.

Fast forward 20 years. He died an untimely death in a sports accident. The amount of the outpouring of love, admiration for, and happy stories from growing up with him that he received on social media that I saw really shook me up. This was a boy that I knew a very different side of. I was terrified of him. He was crude and hateful. How could so many people see nothing bit the opposite? It made me angry and once again had me questioning my own self worth.

People show certain sides to themselves to certain audiences. It does not make them a good person just because they’re fun and cool toward one person. It doesn’t diminish the value and love that person brought to others if they happened to be a jerk to someone else. I’ve always believed that we have a karmic path on this earth in which there are certain experiences we need to have to become our best selves. I’m on mine, and he was on his. Your friend is on hers, and her ex is on his. Please don’t take this to mean she got what she deserves. Most folks have a pretty narrow understanding of what karma is. If she can understand that these experiences are intended at the highest level for her greater good, then all of this wasn’t wasted. It takes time and it is hard. But it’s required. All the best to her.

Gobbledygook.

[Anonymous]

Question for OP: if your cheating ex suddenly hit a terrible disease that would guarantee him a terrible death how would you feel?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question for OP: if your cheating ex suddenly hit a terrible disease that would guarantee him a terrible death how would you feel?

Did he change his life insurance policy benefactor yet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Is it just a handful of posters who post incessantly about how cheaters are the worse? I don't get it. No one I know in real life harbors such seething resentment.

Yes, I have come to believe there is one open marriage poster on one extreme and one EVIL CHEATING on the other extreme they basically argue with each other. Perhaps they are ex spouses.

And a poster who thinks all fat people deserve to be unloved and celibate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Is it just a handful of posters who post incessantly about how cheaters are the worse? I don't get it. No one I know in real life harbors such seething resentment.

Yes, I have come to believe there is one open marriage poster on one extreme and one EVIL CHEATING on the other extreme they basically argue with each other. Perhaps they are ex spouses.

And a poster who thinks all fat people deserve to be unloved and celibate

It’s not one poster.

A Gallup poll conducted found that 91% of Americans consider it to be either always or almost always wrong for married people to have sexual relations with someone other than their spouses, and in response to a separate but related question, 89% say that "married men and women having an affair" is morally unacceptable. Unlike many sexual mores in American society, intolerance of infidelity has actually grown over the last two decades

Of course every cheater makes up some reason to justify it for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Is it just a handful of posters who post incessantly about how cheaters are the worse? I don't get it. No one I know in real life harbors such seething resentment.

Yes, I have come to believe there is one open marriage poster on one extreme and one EVIL CHEATING on the other extreme they basically argue with each other. Perhaps they are ex spouses.

And a poster who thinks all fat people deserve to be unloved and celibate

It’s not one poster.

A Gallup poll conducted found that 91% of Americans consider it to be either always or almost always wrong for married people to have sexual relations with someone other than their spouses, and in response to a separate but related question, 89% say that "married men and women having an affair" is morally unacceptable. Unlike many sexual mores in American society, intolerance of infidelity has actually grown over the last two decades

Of course every cheater makes up some reason to justify it for themselves.

Many people also believe it wrong to leave a marriage unless there is abuse, addiction or adultery. With the latter then, sometimes someone has to be the "bad" guy in order to call it quits. It also creates a false good-bad / evil-doer-victim dichotomy because we don't live in a time when people can jsut decide that they don't want to be married unless they fall in love / lust with someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Is it just a handful of posters who post incessantly about how cheaters are the worse? I don't get it. No one I know in real life harbors such seething resentment.

Yes, I have come to believe there is one open marriage poster on one extreme and one EVIL CHEATING on the other extreme they basically argue with each other. Perhaps they are ex spouses.

And a poster who thinks all fat people deserve to be unloved and celibate

It’s not one poster.

A Gallup poll conducted found that 91% of Americans consider it to be either always or almost always wrong for married people to have sexual relations with someone other than their spouses, and in response to a separate but related question, 89% say that "married men and women having an affair" is morally unacceptable. Unlike many sexual mores in American society, intolerance of infidelity has actually grown over the last two decades

Of course every cheater makes up some reason to justify it for themselves.

Many people also believe it wrong to leave a marriage unless there is abuse, addiction or adultery. With the latter then, sometimes someone has to be the "bad" guy in order to call it quits. It also creates a false good-bad / evil-doer-victim dichotomy because we don't live in a time when people can jsut decide that they don't want to be married unless they fall in love / lust with someone else.

Ummm. No. What frickin’ world do you live in? Divorce is normalized. But whenever cheating or an affair is the reason it is much more contentious and causes riffs through both sides of the family, out to the in-laws, BILs, SILs, kids. It is much less likely to be conducive to everyone remaining on good terms after.

Grow some balls and divorce before you decide to start banging someone else.

[Anonymous]

Believing something is morally wrong is not the same as believing it's the worst thing in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That's all right by me. Frankly this board has a few mentally ill posters who seem to think that cheaters rank worse than any other criminal on the planet. It's unhealthy and creepy. Move on already. Nobody else cares but you.

+1. Who cares?

+2

It's unhinged. Cheating is morally wrong but some of these people need to get a life... what's that saying? Seeking revenge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

[Anonymous]

Bitter and angry doesn’t get one far.
I bet your friend was bitter and angry before as well
Now she knows

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Is it just a handful of posters who post incessantly about how cheaters are the worse? I don't get it. No one I know in real life harbors such seething resentment.

Yes, I have come to believe there is one open marriage poster on one extreme and one EVIL CHEATING on the other extreme they basically argue with each other. Perhaps they are ex spouses.

And a poster who thinks all fat people deserve to be unloved and celibate

It’s not one poster.

A Gallup poll conducted found that 91% of Americans consider it to be either always or almost always wrong for married people to have sexual relations with someone other than their spouses, and in response to a separate but related question, 89% say that "married men and women having an affair" is morally unacceptable. Unlike many sexual mores in American society, intolerance of infidelity has actually grown over the last two decades

Of course every cheater makes up some reason to justify it for themselves.

But like 50% of people DO have affairs or cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Is it just a handful of posters who post incessantly about how cheaters are the worse? I don't get it. No one I know in real life harbors such seething resentment.

Yes, I have come to believe there is one open marriage poster on one extreme and one EVIL CHEATING on the other extreme they basically argue with each other. Perhaps they are ex spouses.

And a poster who thinks all fat people deserve to be unloved and celibate

It’s not one poster.

A Gallup poll conducted found that 91% of Americans consider it to be either always or almost always wrong for married people to have sexual relations with someone other than their spouses, and in response to a separate but related question, 89% say that "married men and women having an affair" is morally unacceptable. Unlike many sexual mores in American society, intolerance of infidelity has actually grown over the last two decades

Of course every cheater makes up some reason to justify it for themselves.

Many people also believe it wrong to leave a marriage unless there is abuse, addiction or adultery. With the latter then, sometimes someone has to be the "bad" guy in order to call it quits. It also creates a false good-bad / evil-doer-victim dichotomy because we don't live in a time when people can jsut decide that they don't want to be married unless they fall in love / lust with someone else.

Ummm. No. What frickin’ world do you live in? Divorce is normalized. But whenever cheating or an affair is the reason it is much more contentious and causes riffs through both sides of the family, out to the in-laws, BILs, SILs, kids. It is much less likely to be conducive to everyone remaining on good terms after.

Grow some balls and divorce before you decide to start banging someone else.

+1

Banging someone to get caught and forced to divorce is like using a flame torch to light a cigarette. It’s crazy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Is it just a handful of posters who post incessantly about how cheaters are the worse? I don't get it. No one I know in real life harbors such seething resentment.

Yes, I have come to believe there is one open marriage poster on one extreme and one EVIL CHEATING on the other extreme they basically argue with each other. Perhaps they are ex spouses.

And a poster who thinks all fat people deserve to be unloved and celibate

It’s not one poster.

A Gallup poll conducted found that 91% of Americans consider it to be either always or almost always wrong for married people to have sexual relations with someone other than their spouses, and in response to a separate but related question, 89% say that "married men and women having an affair" is morally unacceptable. Unlike many sexual mores in American society, intolerance of infidelity has actually grown over the last two decades

Of course every cheater makes up some reason to justify it for themselves.

I would agree cheating is morally wrong and I have cheated. It's more a matter of degree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Is it just a handful of posters who post incessantly about how cheaters are the worse? I don't get it. No one I know in real life harbors such seething resentment.

Yes, I have come to believe there is one open marriage poster on one extreme and one EVIL CHEATING on the other extreme they basically argue with each other. Perhaps they are ex spouses.

And a poster who thinks all fat people deserve to be unloved and celibate

It’s not one poster.

A Gallup poll conducted found that 91% of Americans consider it to be either always or almost always wrong for married people to have sexual relations with someone other than their spouses, and in response to a separate but related question, 89% say that "married men and women having an affair" is morally unacceptable. Unlike many sexual mores in American society, intolerance of infidelity has actually grown over the last two decades

Of course every cheater makes up some reason to justify it for themselves.

I would agree cheating is morally wrong and I have cheated. It's more a matter of degree

Do you believe that those who do things that are morally wrong should have to face some kind of consequence for it? Like some kind of cosmic justice or something (assuming you're not religious).

[Anonymous]

OP just said she's annoyed. Not enraged, not irate, indignant, not furious, just annoyed.

Tags on clothing are annoying. Using the middle urinal is annoying. Popup windows are annoying. Many people find Kim Kardashian and Elon Musk and things that have nothing at all to do with them annoying. We all feel that way sometimes.

It's fine if OP is annoyed that cheaters can destroy somebody else's life (for a few years or whatever) and then ride off into the sunset with no consequences. Yes, it's a basic fact of life that people cheat and life has to go on, and no, it isn't healthy to ruminate on the various punishments you wish for cheaters. But just because unfairness is a fact of life doesn't mean somebody can't find it annoying.