So annoyed the cheaters are not getting consequences

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think anything can really give you equanimity after your husband runs off with his ten years younger student and is now introducing your kids to her, your kids who don’t yet know that she was the AP or that the divorce was because of infidelity. She’s 42 and they were together for like 15 years. The OW is 30. He is a seriously immature person and I don’t see a grown up in their relationship, but it won’t matter bc he is independently wealthy. She will have kids, my friends kids will have half siblings, it just sucks to lose creative control of your family.

You never have as much control over your family as you think She does however have 100% control over her attitude. Sure it was shitty but she can move forward and have an awesome lif if she so chooses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get that your friend is devastated, hurt, betrayed and she is watching him run off to be happy while she is alone however she isn't helping herself by becoming bitter.

I read a great saying ages ago, that was something similar to 'bitterness, resentment or anger is like drinking poison but expecting the other person to get sick'.

At some stage your friend needs to help herself otherwise she will drown in her bitterness. She needs to focus on herself and turn away from them and what is happening in their lives. Its hard but she needs to.

Perhaps when she is ready if she stops looking at them and really looks at her marriage she may look back and see it wasn't what she thought it was. Then perhaps she can look at her ex and see who he really is. It will eventually hopefully look really unappealing to her.

All of this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think anything can really give you equanimity after your husband runs off with his ten years younger student and is now introducing your kids to her, your kids who don’t yet know that she was the AP or that the divorce was because of infidelity. She’s 42 and they were together for like 15 years. The OW is 30. He is a seriously immature person and I don’t see a grown up in their relationship, but it won’t matter bc he is independently wealthy. She will have kids, my friends kids will have half siblings, it just sucks to lose creative control of your family.

You never have as much control over your family as you think She does however have 100% control over her attitude. Sure it was shitty but she can move forward and have an awesome lif if she so chooses.

She can have a great life but the kids are gonna be f’d up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think anything can really give you equanimity after your husband runs off with his ten years younger student and is now introducing your kids to her, your kids who don’t yet know that she was the AP or that the divorce was because of infidelity. She’s 42 and they were together for like 15 years. The OW is 30. He is a seriously immature person and I don’t see a grown up in their relationship, but it won’t matter bc he is independently wealthy. She will have kids, my friends kids will have half siblings, it just sucks to lose creative control of your family.

You never have as much control over your family as you think She does however have 100% control over her attitude. Sure it was shitty but she can move forward and have an awesome lif if she so chooses.

She can have a great life but the kids are gonna be f’d up.

That's their choice to be effed up. My dad cheated and split up the family and I'm no more effed up than my friends who have parents who remained happily married for years and less effed up than the kids whose parents stayed together or were miserable or who split and spent the years post-divorce battling each other. A large part of how messed up they will be is how the adults in their life act their mom being miserable and her bestie telling them that they have no choice but to be effed up isn't going to work in their favor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So on behalf of a friend I am so annoyed. Her DH ran off with a subordinate at work (they all work at the same place); the subordinate was also married with kids (he has two with my friend). The two cheaters both divorced and are now together and it has been going on for a total of four years, on and off, with divorce just final 3m ago. Meanwhile cheaters are very happy, no one seems to know or care that they were affair partners, and my friend who was so sweet and lovely is bitter angry and devastated. Not the way things usually turn out if you listen to the people on this board who tell you the APs never wind up together or happy. It’s annoying.

You never know the full truth unless you lived with the person. Your great friend might have been a nightmare at home. You really just never know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think anything can really give you equanimity after your husband runs off with his ten years younger student and is now introducing your kids to her, your kids who don’t yet know that she was the AP or that the divorce was because of infidelity. She’s 42 and they were together for like 15 years. The OW is 30. He is a seriously immature person and I don’t see a grown up in their relationship, but it won’t matter bc he is independently wealthy. She will have kids, my friends kids will have half siblings, it just sucks to lose creative control of your family.

You never have as much control over your family as you think She does however have 100% control over her attitude. Sure it was shitty but she can move forward and have an awesome lif if she so chooses.

She can have a great life but the kids are gonna be f’d up.

Sorry but how’s she gonna have a great life in this circumstance? What does anyone care about more than their kids that make life “great”?

[Anonymous]

Is it just a handful of posters who post incessantly about how cheaters are the worse? I don't get it. No one I know in real life harbors such seething resentment.

[Anonymous]

I will be blunt from a place of love

Other than the betrayed spouses, no one cares.

My subordinate cheated and left his wife, it's not a good look but he is a great producer so it's really not my concern

Or put it this way: the last president cheated on his wife. Who was a model. While she was pregnant. With a porn star.

And no one cares.

Tell your friend to live her best life. That is the best revenge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will be blunt from a place of love

Other than the betrayed spouses, no one cares.

My subordinate cheated and left his wife, it's not a good look but he is a great producer so it's really not my concern

Or put it this way: the last president cheated on his wife. Who was a model. While she was pregnant. With a porn star.

And no one cares.

Tell your friend to live her best life. That is the best revenge.

I heartily agree. For your own mental health, OP, please get over it. You're hurting no one but yourself by obsessing like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Is it just a handful of posters who post incessantly about how cheaters are the worse? I don't get it. No one I know in real life harbors such seething resentment.

Yes, I have come to believe there is one open marriage poster on one extreme and one EVIL CHEATING on the other extreme they basically argue with each other. Perhaps they are ex spouses.

[Anonymous]

And yet the people on this board are all about how cheaters should be burned at the stake, the wife is practically incapacitated for the rest of her life, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ But obviously lots of emotionally healthy people disagree with you and do care. I’m one. Never been cheated on but I think cheaters have a massive character defect that likely manifests itself in other areas of their life.

I think cheaters have bad character. They are liars. And, most of all, I just find them absolutely pathetic. Selfish, immature and entitled. Zero integrity.

Betrayal is a really bad flaw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ But obviously lots of emotionally healthy people disagree with you and do care. I’m one. Never been cheated on but I think cheaters have a massive character defect that likely manifests itself in other areas of their life.

I think cheaters have bad character. They are liars. And, most of all, I just find them absolutely pathetic. Selfish, immature and entitled. Zero integrity.

Betrayal is a really bad flaw.

It’s one of the big sins. Adultery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And yet the people on this board are all about how cheaters should be burned at the stake, the wife is practically incapacitated for the rest of her life, etc.

I think cheating is incredibly selfish and generally a mark of poor character, but it is one of many incredibly selfish behaviors that people engage in. Yes it is incredibly hurtful to the wife and kids , but it's their choice to remain bitter and incapacitated or not at some point you have to choose to move on and live well or remain to wallow in bitterness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wait. They do and it’s miraculous. Karma sometimes isn’t quick.

+1
Bingo.
I couldn’t agree more.

Cheaters will always get what is coming to them.
Because what goes around ALWAYS comes around.
One way or another.

You can never tell what just goes on behind closed doors anyway.

Look at how Brad Pitt cheated on Jennifer Aniston.
He ended up not only marrying his AP, Angelina Jolie but he went on to have multiple children w/her‼️
And we all know how great that all ended.
Now Angie has custody of their kids & it appears that Brad doesn’t have much time w/them.

Plus their divorce was so acrimonious too.
Angie alleges that she feared for her family’s “health + safety” and there have been a number of court issues as well.
Yet for the years that followed him leaving Jenn > it seemed like all was so perfect.